(Youngjae's Perspective)

Youngjae couldn't actually tell whether he'd succeeded or failed with his dinner plan.

On the one hand, his efforts had been rewarded with clear enjoyment of the meal he'd prepared as well as a kiss that left him dizzy and grinning from ear to ear. Going to Zelo for advice on what kind of foods Daehyun liked definitely paid off or else Youngjae never would've learned that Daehyun's mouth didn't handle strong flavours well and ended up preparing food the way he'd been taught to.

With lots of seasonings and lots of flavours, the Yoo family way! Not good when the person he was cooking for had what he could only assume was an allergic reaction to spices. Tongue swelling, mouth burning... Youngjae was pretty sure that qualified as an allergic reaction, even if Zelo just described it as 'sensitivity taste buds'.

On the other hand, Daehyun seemed even more in his head than he had been prior. He was definitely more prone to being lost in his thoughts and forgetting what he'd been saying mid sentence. His words trailed off sometimes, him sounding out that last syllable while he tried to remember what he was going to say then eventually apologizing because he'd lost it. Youngjae assured him that it was fine, but it was getting harder to contain his curiosity...

'Is it because of me, or is there something else going on?' Daehyun never clarified when Youngjae asked what was on his mind, so he guessed it had something to do with the things he refused to tell Zelo about. If it were any other topic, he spoke about it freely.

Maybe it was a mix of both? A success in that Youngjae had spurred the relationship into that next step by kissing now being an okay thing to do so long as he picked up on the consent and want in Daehyun's mannerisms, as well as planting the well received idea of Daehyun meeting his circle of friends. A failure because Youngjae wanted Daehyun to feel better about opening up, but he seemed even more closed off than he had before.

Youngjae was a bit worried that he was trying to rush things. Maybe Daehyun's closed himself off because he thought things were moving too fast. But a vast majority of the steps they'd taken were because Daehyun made that first move and showed that he wanted it, not Youngjae...

Well, Youngjae did want it! He thrived in the physical attention because it made him feel wanted. With how Daehyun initiated his affections through shy touches and glances, those indicators that led Youngjae to believe it was okay to be physically affectionate, his boyfriend liked it and wanted it, too.

Then why didn't he do it himself? Surely it was clear that Youngjae wanted it... He was as obvious as they get! That being said, as obvious as his attraction to Daehyun was to everyone else, it'd flown right over his head, so Youngjae wasn't too surprised.

But then there were the times where Daehyun was more bold and confident? Those caught Youngjae off guard the most because he'd come to expect shyness from his boyfriend, not what he could only describe as a bashful kind of boldness.

Like when Daehyun told Youngjae he'd sit with him so he wouldn't be standing out in the cold waiting for a date that eventually stood him up. Or when Daehyun firmly yet still somehow soft declared that he liked him. Or how Daehyun told him that he wanted to take Youngjae out on a date to show his appreciation for 'the things Youngjae did for him'.

Which to Youngjae's memory was showing Daehyun that he cared, something that should be done in all kinds of relationships, not just romantic ones! He didn't do it to get something in return, he just wanted his boyfriend to know he was cared about...

But Youngjae definitely wasn't going to complain about going on a date with Daehyun. Even if his boyfriend wouldn't say anything about what he had planned, just that he was certain that Youngjae would enjoy it.

Another one of those oddly confident but full of reservations kind of moods.

His boyfriend was so confusing. Firm in his stances but still so passive. How did he do it? Youngjae wished he understood what made Daehyun tick so he could better accommodate his comfort, but that was tough with Daehyun having walls built around him that he occasionally stepped out from behind...

The date was scheduled for today after Youngjae got off work since Daehyun already had Tuesdays off. In an evening couch discussion, they planned for a late lunch at the coffee shop that Youngjae would take care of because of his employee discount. Daehyun would get to meet Yongguk, something he seemed to be looking forward to, then they'd leave for whatever it was Daehyun had planned.

Despite Youngjae's best attempts, Daehyun wouldn't disclose any details. Asking Zelo and Jongup led to the response that he should just enjoy himself, so they either didn't know or they'd been asked not to say anything. But of course Youngjae was going to enjoy whatever was planned! It was always fun to share in his partner's unique interests and expanding his horizons on what he liked and didn't like!

It was better to have that kind of mindset, anyway. It made things more enjoyable on both fronts!

All Youngjae had to do now was wait for the timer on this batch of brownies and get them situated, then he could clock out. Unless Kyungsoo came in early to take over?

It was while Youngjae was taking the brownies from the oven that Yongguk came in. “So your boyfriend's here, Youngjae.”

“Already?” After setting the pan on the counter, a glance at the wall clock said Youngjae still had five minutes to go before he could clock out. “He's early.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Yongguk chuckled.

“No.” Honestly, Youngjae thought he'd be off first and would have to wait a few minutes. Not more than five because he didn't think Daehyun was the kind of guy to keep people waiting without feeling horrible about it. Thinking about it that way, it was no wonder he was here early. “So, what's your first impression?” He flipped the pan onto the wax paper and patted the sheet of brownie out.

“I get what you meant when the only thing you could use to describe him was 'oof',” Yongguk teased.

“Shut up,” Youngjae mumbled, pouting as he grabbed a knife and began to slice steady lines to form even squares.

It was a quiet laugh from Yongguk before a little sigh. “I also get what you meant when you said he was very internalized and hurting,” he slowly continued. “The kind of behaviour I witnessed in just him ordering a bottle of water is... It's familiar.”

Youngjae frowned as he set the knife aside and began to carefully transfer cut brownies to the display platter. “What do you make of it?”

Yongguk hummed, and the sound of him lightly tapping his foot was the only accompaniment to his bass level hum for a few seconds. “If it's anything like it was with me...” he began, and after a nod to himself, hesitantly offered, “He loved someone with all his heart just to have it ripped to shreds.”

Youngjae tried to wrap his head around the idea that someone would willingly hurt someone like Daehyun, who didn't have a mean bone in his body. If it was like how it was with Yongguk, then Daehyun's reserved tendencies came from his previous partner not appreciating his gestures and going around behind his back.

But as hesitant as Daehyun was, he'd still been nothing but kind and thoughtful! Who in their right mind would treat someone like that poorly? Youngjae hadn't been able to figure it out when Yongguk opened up to it a while back, and he couldn't do it now. The motives of those who hurt good people for no reason were foreign to him, and they always would be!

“So how do you think I should proceed?” he wondered quietly. “I like him a lot, and if he's hurting, I want to be able to help him, you know?”

“I think your best bet is to keep on as you have been. Having that solid, constant source of care and reassurance will do wonders. I know it did for me.” Yongguk shrugged. “He'll eventually open up to what's hurting him so bad, and when he does, you better support him.”

“What else would I do?”

At Youngjae's genuine confusion, Yongguk's lips spread into a relaxed smile. “I guess it wouldn't cross your mind to do anything different because that's who you are, Youngjae. Have a good time today, okay?”

Not a minuter after Yongguk left the back kitchens, Youngjae was putting the platter of fresh brownies in the display. A few moments after that, Kyungsoo clocked in and relieved Youngjae for the day. So he was all set for date time!

Most of the time when he saw Daehyun, he was dressed in his work attire. Crisp white button ups and black slacks. Very few times had Youngjae seen his boyfriend with a more relaxed look. A simple coloured t-shirt with no design and worn down jeans. Today that was accompanied with a dark grey cardigan that seemed very well worn.

When Daehyun caught sight of him, he was mid sip of his water. He tried to dim how he lit up at the sight of Youngjae smiling over at him, but it was to no avail. “You're early,” Youngjae pointed out cheerily, deciding to lean against the table since he'd just have to get up to immediately order food anyway.

“Oh, um... You did say you got off at three, right?” he wondered frantically. Youngjae nodded, in no way upset at him being here on time and more pleased at his punctuality. At least he was able to pick up on the complete lack of negative feeling and instead offered a gentle and very tiny smile while his fingers drummed against his mostly empty bottle of water. “I uh, didn't want to keep you waiting...”

That was sweet, and it also made Youngjae even more curious about how anyone in their right mind would think it was okay to hurt a man so considerate? “Have you decided what you want to eat?”

“Um... what soup do you have here?”

“We do a soup of the day here, and today's soup I wouldn't recommend for you. It's got lots of spices to it.”

He nodded his understanding, disappointment evident in the way he his lips. “Then... what's the least flavourful thing on the menu?”

Youngjae ran over the menu in his head. “A wrap would probably be your best bet. Either tuna or shredded chicken. The grilled chicken one probably wouldn't be up your alley because that one's peppered.”

He gave it some thought before deciding on a tuna wrap, and rather than get a different drink, he just requested another bottle of water. So, after placing their order to Yongguk and making extra sure there wasn't large amounts of seasoning to a tuna wrap, Youngaje took his spot in front of Daehyun.

“So how's your day been so far?”

“I was kind of bummed out when I was getting dressed,” Daehyun sighed, a pout playing at his lips. “My cardigan has a hole in it that'll only get bigger the more I wash it.” He fiddled with the bottom hem of the spoken garment and pulled it to show the hole from where the sleeve connected to the main body of it. “I'm going to miss this thing...”

“You know, you can crochet cardigans.”

He pulled at the hems of his sleeves, like he was trying to cover his hands. “That would uh, probably take a lot of yarn... and um, I'm only used to smaller things? Maybe when I'm better with it, I'll give a bigger project a try.” Until then, he'd keep on wearing this worn out cardigan until it was in tatters, probably. “How about your day? Has it been okay?”

“Yeah, it's just been a usual work day. Except for me trying to think about just what it is you've got planned, that is. Still haven't come up with anything...” Mainly because Youngjae was uncertain how Daehyun approached dates when taking the lead, but him saying he had no conclusion probably wouldn't spur Daehyun to give him any hints.

The tiniest of giggles, muted in nature, sounded from him as he kept his eyes focused on the table. “You'll see. I'm- Well, uh... I'm pretty sure you'll like it?” His eyes flickered up to Youngjae with a hopeful glint before darting off to look elsewhere. His last words were a mumble, “I hope you will, at least...”

“I'm sure I will!”

The ding from the counter bell rung out through the store, then the deep bass voice of Yongguk called out, “Youngjae, your order's ready!”

Youngjae got up, grabbed the tray of items that had been carefully placed on the counter for pick up, and made his way back to the table. He'd barely even set their plates in front of them and taken a bite into his egg sandwich when his phone started ringing. Mid bite, he pulled his phone from his pocket to see who was calling him to see his umma's caller ID.

The last thing he wanted to do right now was listen to her nag about getting a girlfriend. So he silenced the call and went back to eating. It was with the hope that clicking to ignore would keep her off his back and she'd realize he couldn't currently talk because he was busy. This wasn't the case because his phone started ringing again. He pressed to ignore the second call, too.

Daehyun tilted his head. “I won't be offended if you answer it,” he offered quietly, mouth hidden behind his wrap before taking a small bite from it.

“I'm not one to answer the phone while I'm eating,” Youngjae said. His phone started to chime once more, and he once again silenced it with the hope that the third time would be charm.

It wasn't.

“What if it's something important?” Daehyun wondered as Youngjae silenced his phone again.

Another press to the silence call button. “Then she'd either leave a voicemail or message me that it couldn't wait?”

This habit of hers, to call until he answered, was bothersome at any point. Not just when he was eating, and not just when he was on a date. Youngjae wished his umma would cut it out, but she didn't take hints easily. She didn't take outright saying things as anything if it was something she didn't want to hear, either...

With the fifth call, Youngjae gave up on her leaving him alone until he wasn't busy. That being, this evening when he was back from his date. “I'm sorry, Daehyun, but I guess I have to take this,” he exhaled, frustrated at his umma's inability to pick up on the fact that he didn't want to be bothered.

“It's fine,” he quietly assured, the tiny upturn of his lips a reassurance of its own.

Youngjae excused himself from the table with an apologetic grin and the declaration that he'd try to make it quick. Since he didn't want people to overhear his conversation, he stepped outside before answering the phone. “What is it, Umma?”

“Oh, I didn't expect you to answer for another few tries!” she chuckled. “How are you? It's been a bit since we've spoken, you know...”

“I'm eating lunch right now,” he responded tiredly, keeping his eyes focused on the inside. He watched as Yongguk slipped from behind the counter once Hana relieved him of duties, and with a meal and drink of his own, strolled over to Daehyun. After words he could only guess, Yongguk took his seat next to Youngjae's spot.

“What a late lunch, Jae dear. Did you forget to eat when you were supposed to?”

“I have to work later to make up for the extra day I take off to look after the lake house for you, so I eat lunch later,” he explained. “Were you just calling to check in on me, or was there something important you had to talk with me about that just couldn't wait?”

“Well, I wanted to let you know of some things going on... Are you too busy for it now? I'll call later if I need to,” she said.

Youngjae hummed in pause. The conversation Yongguk and Daehyun was having seemed pleasant enough. Like they were getting along, and Youngjae couldn't ask for more! Maybe being on the phone with his umma a bit longer would be a good opportunity for them to strike up a friendship. Daehyun's friend list was low, so he could benefit from having more...

“Jae dear, are you still there?”

“Yeah, I'm here. You can tell me now if you need to.” The idea that she'd call and interrupt the date again was one Youngjae would rather not entertain, and it would definitely happen if he let her go now. “I would appreciate it if you made it quick, though.”

“Of course, I'll try not to keep you from your lunch for too much longer. Eating good is important for growing up healthy!” Being raised that way was what led to Youngjae having his chubbier spots, but why be bothered by it when he liked to eat? “So we've recently hired a new secretary that's been successfully integrated into the family-”

Right, the Yoo family business of law that Youngjae always tuned out. A successful family law firm that both parents wanted him and his brother to take part in, but neither had an interest in. At least, Youngjae didn't think Youngwon wanted anything to do with it with how he'd ghosted the entire family since he and Hyunmi got married.

Youngjae didn't blame him. He'd do it, too if he didn't feel so mixed about it. Despite how much they tried to get him to settle down with a nice girl, they were still his parents who raised him with love and care. Even if they didn't see eye to eye on his relationship preferences, he did still love them and held onto the hope that they'd one day accept it.

The girlfriend nagging was minimal during his school days. They were satisfied enough with Youngwon having met a girl that for Youngjae it was just quick inquiries about whether or not there was a lucky girl at school who'd caught his eye, to which he'd always say there wasn't. They didn't start hounding him about it until after he'd come out and after Youngwon and Hyunmi had married and fled.

Youngjae hoped his brother and his brother's wife were doing okay, because he got the impression that their marriage was being rushed into and had even told them that...

'Maybe that's why they don't talk to me either? Because I told them I didn't think their marriage would go well because of our parents rushing them into it?'

Youngjae and Youngwon were close before that. It was rocky at certain patches due to Youngwon trying to fit in with a bad group and therefore becoming quite homophobic. That was Youngjae's biggest hesitance in telling his family, but after he'd blurted it out at dinner in annoyance at his umma telling him for the umpteenth time that he should try to find a nice girl to bring home, Youngwon turned into his biggest supporter. Defending Youngjae's preferences to their parents and sticking up for him constantly, even when Youngjae wasn't around.

Since Hyunmi was around a lot, Youngjae was also pretty close with her. She was thankful that Youngjae coming out helped Youngwon figure out his priorities and abandon the Bad Influence Clique, as she called them. When he'd spoken with her about the rushed nature of her wedding to his brother, Youngjae specifically requested that if she found things were starting to get irreparably bad to call things off so she and Youngwon could still be friendly with each other at the very least...

Youngjae shook those contemplations away and tuned back into what his umma was saying. “...So I was thinking that we could invite them over one day for dinner and you could join us? Their daughter is such a lovely girl, you're certain to-”

His eye twitched, and the words were out of his mouth before he could even consider that it was impolite to interrupt people while they were talking. “Umma, did you seriously call me and go on a tangent about the law firm just to tell me you want me to date your new secretary's daughter?”

“That's not-”

“It sure sounds like it, Umma. If not, then what is it?” The silence he received gave Youngjae the answer his umma refused to say, and he didn't feel so bad about interrupting because she was being her own level of rude by being so dismissive of her son's unharmful choices. “Life would be a whole lot easier for you and Appa if you'd just accept that I'm not into girls like you say you do.”

“Jae dear, we just want you to be happy.”

“I appreciate that, but isn't it up to me to decide what makes me happy, Umma?” The resigned sigh from the other side of the line indicated that Youngjae had won this argument. Until next time, that is.

He glanced back in through the window to see Yongguk in big brother mode to Daehyun, who looked like he'd withdrawn into his head if the look on his face was anything to go by. 'It's time I cut this call off and get back to what really matters!'

“I'm going to get back to my lunch now. Goodbye, Umma.”

“Goodbye, Youngjae.” The words were barely out of before Youngjae ended the call and slipped his phone into his pocket.

Before going back in, Youngjae took a quick breather to clear his head. After all, Daehyun had this ability to tune into the frustrations of others around him no matter how repressed it was, and Youngjae didn't want for him to pick up on the frustrated funk that accompanied just about every conversation with his umma since senior year on a day meant for them.

'I'm going to have a good time with my boyfriend today, and I'm not going to let bad vibes get in the way of that!'

--

A/N:

Howdy again, folks.

Fun fact: Hyunmi's placeholder name was "Dis Bish".