(Daehyun's Perspective)

As Daehyun came into work and started to hang up his winter garb, Hyosung strode up with a sly smile on her face. “So...” She leaned against the wall by the coats from the other workers. “How was your date?”

“Um... what?”

Daehyun hadn't recalled going on an actual date in years, so he guessed Hyosung was somehow confusing him with a different coworker. It was a stretch since Hyosung was good at remembering faces, but it was the only explanation he could come up with.

“You can't fool me, buddy!” Her grin widened, flashing bright teeth and crinkling her eyes. “I saw you here after work yesterday on one!”

Daehyun squinted and pursed his lips in thought. After work yesterday, he'd kept Youngjae company so he wouldn't be standing out in the cold waiting for a man who decided being asked after the time he was supposed to show up for the date if things were still on was clingy behaviour.

No matter how much he thought about that, Daehyun was sure he wouldn't understand how that qualified as clingy. But that was also none of his business.

Had Hyosung misinterpreted the situation? Had she thought he and Youngjae were on a date yesterday? If so, then Daehyun had some clarification to do. The fact his boss was asking him about this had him a bit unsettled. “That... wasn't a date, noona.”

“As if!” she snorted. “That entire situation screamed date, buddy. Eating together, enjoying each other's company, having a nice time...” Her words turned more playful as she went on, but despite the teasing tone, there was no indication that she thought differently from her words.

“Hyosung, it really wasn't a date...”

“Are you worried I'd get mad because you were on a date with a guy? If so, you don't have to worry about that. I just want you to be happy, and if being with a guy is what brings you happiness, then go for it!” She did this kind of fist pump cheerleader action with a large grin and a wiggle of her nose.

Well, at least he knew from this that if he did date a guy one day that his boss wouldn't have any problems with it. “I um- I appreciate the sentiment, but uh... it still wasn't a date,” he mumbled.

'Maybe I'd feel less weird about this conversation if we were having it before she'd been promoted?' Talking like this with someone he was supposed to see as an authoritative figure had his fingers itching to scratch. But scratching at his cheeks obsessively could potentially end up harmful, so listening to what his fingers wanted to do in this situation would be-

“But you wish it was, right?”

Scratch that. Literally! A few swipes over his cheeks before Daehyun frantically tried to figure out what to do with his hands other than my obsessive quirk, all the while trying to find the right words for the situation. “I- Wha- Um, I uh-” Easier said than done, because he couldn't exactly deny that it'd be really nice to date Youngjae. “Wh-why would you even think that, noona?”

Hyosung put on her best thinking face. “Well, for starters, the shy glances you were sending his way,” she offered. She rattled off more while tapping at her chin. “That double take glance where you looked at him, darted your eyes away, then brought them back. The way you'd smile to yourself sometimes while you two were talking. Fidgeting with your fingers in your lap because you were nervous.”

“Why were you uh, paying such close attention?”

“Because I've never seen you act that way around anybody, Daehyun,” she answered with a smile. “And, as your friend, I wanted to gauge your chances.”

Time for Daehyun's brain to enter overdrive mode while he processed those words! 'Hyosung considers me her friend? Since when? Have I done anything to warrant that kind of label from her? Wait, don't people normally mean when they're gauging the chances of something that they spoke with the person behind their back to get an opinion? When did Hyosung even get the chance to talk to Youngjae? Neither one of us left the table during our stay-'

He cleared his throat and wrenched himself out of his panicking thoughts. “Wh-what?”

“Don't worry, I didn't talk with him,” she reassured gently. “Just... kept a close eye on him. To see if I could pick up on his feelings.”

Daehyun didn't like how his insides were starting to feel all jittery and jumbled. His brain was fogging up, and that wasn't ideal when his evening was going to be spent waiting tables. “Noona, I really should be getting to work...”

He kept his eyes to the side and tried to move past her, but she grabbed his shoulder firmly. Two gentle pats later, and Hyosung completely ignored Daehyun's plea to escape the situation. “He looked at you like you were the best thing to happen to him!” she declared with a wink. “Seeing you smile made him smile. Jaehan said he took the tab, too!” Daehyun caught the wiggle of her eyebrows as her lips spread into a large grin.

The truth of the matter wasn't Hyosung's business. It'd be rude to explain Youngjae's personal life to someone he didn't know, so Daehyun threw around in his head how to phrase it so Hyosung would realize it wasn't a date like she thought. “I- He paid because um... it was to pay me back for uh... something I did for him.”

“Aw, you're sweet,” Hyosung cooed. “Oblivious, but sweet. I'm fairly confident that, based on my observations, he was considering it as a date. Or at least hoping it could be.”

The tone of Hyosung's voice was clearly hinting at something, and that's not a road Daehyun wanted to go down right now. Not when he was supposed to be putting on a smile for customers. It'd be real hard to smile if he allowed his brain to pick out why him and Youngjae dating was out of the question. “Well, you're wrong. If he wanted to date me, he'd tell me.”

“Buddy-”

“Noona, can I just get to work now?” he begged. “I'm sorry, I just- I don't want to think about this anymore...” He trained his eyes on the ground, frowning. 'I don't want to think about how misaligned my brain and heart are right now...'

The hand on his shoulder slipped off, and he caught an apologetic grin from her as she flashed a thumbs up. “Don't work yourself too hard, Daehyun.”

On the floor, he was fortunately able to keep up the way he normally portrayed himself to the patrons. A smile that belied how his heart and brain warred with each other on everything. Sure steps and no stammering that betrayed how he was everywhere but at Shortstub's.

Why was it so easy for him to switch off his worries at work? Was it because he was able to busy himself with something so he didn't have the chance to let his brain drown in him a swamp full of what ifs, should haves, and could bes? 'Maybe I should find something I can do at my apartment then...' After all, where he lived was where his thoughts ran the most rampant.

Daehyun made the mental note to consider what later and seated himself in the break room with dinner. As he cut up the chicken into bite sized pieces, he saw Hyosung slip into the room. He hoped that she didn't try to bring up their conversation from earlier because he'd actually managed to avoid thinking about it so far, and he still had half a shift to go.

She slid into the seat in front of him while Daehyun kept his focus on his food. It was silent for a few beats, then she leaned forward and whispered like she were telling a secret, “I think he likes you.”

'Maybe if I don't respond, she'll drop it?' Daehyun did his best to seem uninterested as he nibbled at some fries. 'I really shouldn't ignore my boss like this... Or, well... my friend? My friend boss? Boss friend?'

“In fact, I'd put money on it,” she continued, just a bit louder.

'This is not a conversation I'm getting back into...' He kept quiet, slowing bringing a forkful of chicken to his mouth.

“I think he's scared to tell you.”

'Wait-' Daehyun nearly choked in the middle of his swallow, spluttering and coughing into a napkin. 'That can't be right, Youngjae doesn't seem like the type of man to be scared like that...'

Once he settled down, he cleared the rough feeling in his throat out with some water. Then he shook his head at her theory. “He's not the kind of man to be scared, noona,” he said. A smile began to twitch the corners of his lips. “He's confident and so sure of himself, even when bad things happen to him.”

Not once did Youngjae seem bothered by the fact he'd been stood up yesterday evening! He shrugged that off entirely and latched onto more positive things rather than the negative feelings that were surely wanting to surface...

“Tell me, because you didn't deny earlier that you do like this man, would you tell him your feelings?” Hyosung wondered.

“Wha- I-” Daehyun fumbled a bit before preoccupying his desire to ramble with a few fries until it passed. “...No.”

“Why not?”

“Because...”

'Because I'm scared of being hurt again, and... I'm scared he'll be like her...' He sighed and shook his head, more to himself than at Hyosung.

“You're scared he won't feel the same?”

Daehyun nodded slowly at her guess because that was also part of the problem. The potential of rejection did sting. How would he be able to face Youngjae again if it came out that they weren't on the same page with their feelings? 'I'd much rather hang onto what I have than reach for more and lose what I've already got!'

“Everybody fears something, even those who seem like they don't,” Hyosung declared. With a small smile, she continued, “Worrying that the person you've got your eye on doesn't feel the same is a very common fear, buddy. People are scared of driving the ones they care about away by overstepping boundaries and will settle for less when they really want more.”

That sounded a lot like one of his mindsets... “How do you- Why do you know this stuff, noona?”

“I've felt that fear before. I've also... done lots of research on the topic, but that's not important!” She scratched at the back of her head and awkwardly chuckled it off. She settled back down with a crisp clear of . “What's important to take from this is that the possibility is high that he's just as worried about opening up to you that you are to him.”

Daehyun narrowed his eyes at his food before taking another slow bite. 'That can't be right. Not once has he seemed worried about anything... Frustrated at things, yes. Worried about them, no.'

“That look on your face says you still don't believe me, buddy. Let's see if I can't figure out a way to phrase this so you'll understand it better...” Hyosung hummed to herself, drumming manicured nails against the tabletop. “It's like... He values you as a person and enjoys your company. Rather than risk losing that, he's content to keep quiet about it so long as it means you two can still get along.”

“I- He's not- Why would he-” Daehyun let out a tiny, frustrated whine because words were hard. How could he properly vocalize just how much he didn't believe that someone as self assured as Youngjae would ever feel the same type of hesitance that an anxious person like Daehyun did? 'There's no way Youngjae's thinking this way, too. Hyosung has to be mistaking her observations of me for her observations on him... Right?'

“As I said, common fear,” she reiterated. “How people feel towards each other, the thoughts they keep in their minds, it's all given away by body language. Being able to pick up on those things can be hard, but people watching has been a hobby of mine since I was a kid. So I have loads of practice!”

'People watching... as a hobby? It seems like it'd be creepy to just stare at people when you're bored... Maybe there's more to it?'

“I've also had the practice of observing people while they're on dates thanks to my many years of being a waitress,” she admitted proudly. “Some dates go poorly, as evidenced by either one or both parties not seeming particularly interested in the other. Dismissive body language, like leaning away from their date. Or putting their attention on their phone during conversation. Looking bored or like they'd rather be anywhere else...”

Absentmindedly, he nodded at her rambling while he continued to eat. Learning things about body language could be beneficial for him, so he was going to try to soak up the information.

“Then there are the good dates!” she exclaimed, happily clapping her hands. “Where the body language between the two in question tells of crushes with fleeting glances and bright smiles. Leaning closer to each other to ensure that they don't miss a single detail of what the other is saying because they want to know more about the person their with...”

Based on what she said earlier this evening, Daehyun was a dead giveaway with his body language on... crushing? That didn't sound right, but he didn't know what else to call it. If it'd been obvious to Hyosung, then did that mean Youngjae was also able to pick up on it? Or was only Hyosung able to because it's something she does for fun?

As he finished up dinner, his mind brought him back to yesterday's date- 'Wait, no! It wasn't a date! It's just Hyosung talking with me about it like it was that has me thinking this!'

He ruminated on yesterday evening's NOT date, but the more he did, the more Daehyun realized that what Hyosung was exactly how Youngjae was acting. Something that was so obvious to her flew right over his head in the moment. Possibly because he was too in his head about his own feelings to notice.

Warmth crept onto Daehyun's cheeks, and he wondered if it was a one time thing or if there was more he'd missed over the weeks. He wouldn't be surprised if there was. His brain was fine tuned to instantly detect frustration and anger to keep him safe, so he wasn't the best at picking up anything but that.

“...Noona?”

“What's up, buddy?”

“What are- If you don't mind me asking that is, what are some more... um, body language things about crushes?”

“You mean like, what other kinds of body language denote a crush?”

“Um, yeah. That.”

As she listed them off, Daehyun made a mental note of whether there'd been a time something like that had happened.

“Well, there's wanting to be close to them, for one. Like, sitting closer despite there being further options,” she started off.

Would Youngjae asking him to grab a chair and bring it to the piano to sit by him count as this? Daehyun tried to place it as close as he could to him, where it wouldn't be crowding but he'd still be right there.

“Angling your body towards them when they're talking...”

Youngjae's definitely done that, and Daehyun noted that he tended to do the same. From sitting at the piano, to conversations when sitting on the couch together, even to yesterday when he'd caught Youngjae outside.

“Wanting to hang out a lot is another common thing.”

They'd spent quite a bit of time together, or at least Daehyun thought so. Youngjae always invited him to hang out when he dropped by, even when it hadn't been Daehyun's intention to stay for longer than to drop something off. Daehyun always accepted the offer and joined for a while, finding Youngjae's presence enjoyable.

“Going so far as to make excuses just to see them.”

Daehyun wasn't sure if Youngjae had done that because how would he know if Youngjae was making excuses to see him? But Daehyun did realize that he'd been doing this for weeks, even if it had been unintentional. That thought hit pretty hard. He'd been attracted to Youngjae from the get go and was just so disconnected from himself that he didn't realize why he kept on trying to find ways to be around Youngjae.

“Doing nice things for them because you want to see them smile,” Hyosung declared, and without skipping another beat, continued on that route, “Actually, there are lots of things about smiles when it comes to crushes. Just smiling when they're around, or grinning when you see them smile.”

He also wasn't sure if Youngjae did things with that thought in mind because he wasn't Youngjae. What Daehyun did know was that he really liked seeing Youngjae's smile, especially when it was there because of something he'd done. According to memory, he smiled quite a bit around Daehyun. Even when he was radiating a more frustrated kind of feeling, that smile was still there.

“Keeping your gaze fixed on them, particularly their face or eyes.”

While Daehyun wasn't one to look at people, Youngjae definitely was. He focused on Daehyun's face when they were talking, glancing over constantly whenever he was playing the piano. His hazy recollections from the New Year's party also solidified that. In fact, the only time he didn't have his eyes on Daehyun was while eating...

“Can't forget compliments, that's one of the biggest indicators there is!” Hyosung exclaimed excitedly, like she'd completely forgotten that it was a thing that existed. Probably because compliments aren't actually body language, and Daehyun had specifically asked about body language. But this seemed to be an important note in Crushes 101.

You look really good!

If he managed to make you look even more attractive than you already are, which I didn't think was possible...

You look good, so you should own it!

Your voice is amazing, so it's really flattering that you sang along...

'Yeah, that's definitely happened- Wait.' Daehyun's thoughts brought him back to the first interaction he had a clear recollection of. Back when he'd woke up in Youngjae's apartment confused and hungover and had misinterpreted the situation. 'Why did he even want anything to do with me after that?'

It's a personal policy of mine to not sleep with anybody who's ingested alcohol, no matter how attractive they are.

'Was he calling me attractive then?' Daehyun gulped. “A-ah. Right...” He cleared his throat roughly, needing some water to soothe the hoarseness from the action.

Daehyun finished up the last of his dinner, which wasn't too much at this point and didn't take him very long. If he could gather anything from this conversation with Hyosung, it was two things.

One, he'd been attracted to Youngjae far longer than he realized.

Two, it's possible that Youngjae has been interested in him from the very start.

These revelations hit hard and made Daehyun feel a bit stupid. All of his prior experiences began to swim around in his head alongside the yearning in his heart, a strange mix of hurt and confusion with a desire for things to be different so he could be happy and move on. The way everything was melding together was honestly giving him a headache.

“Something wrong, buddy?”

“Um no, it's- Nothing's wrong, noona,” he assured. “I should um... g-get back to work? Break is uh, almost over and all...” With an awkward kind of grin, Daehyun shuffled out of his seat and grabbed his empty dishes.

“Yeah, I suppose I should get back to the office, too. Work well, buddy!”

--

Another day off work meant another opportunity for Daehyun's mind to wander to the places he tried to avoid. There was nothing to preoccupy his brain other than a tiny television that gave him a headache if he stared at it for too long. He'd budgeted out February when he first woke up this morning to keep his mind in check, Zelo and Jongup had classes, and Youngjae was working.

He stared at himself in the bathroom mirror, gaze focused away from his eyes. 'Maybe I should invest in a hobby? That could help get my mind off things...' But hobbies cost money, and Daehyun wasn't in a position where he could hand cash to an activity that could be considered pointless.

Unless it was a free hobby like Hyosung's? But Daehyun didn't like the idea of staring at people to pass the time.

He cupped his cheeks in his palms, smooshing them in a way that poked his lips out. As he continued to mess around with his face, he thought that he could get back into doing his own makeup as a hobby. It had the potential to be free if he asked Zelo for one of his palettes. Though, if he pursued that on his own, it'd probably stack up in costs, and he wouldn't want to keep asking Zelo for more. So maybe it was better if that was left as Zelo's hobby that he occasionally took part in.

Maybe he could get back into singing and piano? He found lots of enjoyment from the musical things in his childhood, and it would be nice to bring that back. Pianos were expensive, but Youngjae had offered his. Which meant Daehyun would be restricted to playing only when he was hanging out with Youngjae...

He could sing anywhere he wanted, though, and it didn't cost money to use his voice...

Daehyun sighed and shook the idea away. His singing would be a bother to almost everybody here, and he didn't have the heart to hear or read complaints even once. That would only serve to bring him back to where he was trying to mentally get away from. It'd be better on him if he only sang where he knew it would be appropriate to.

Which was only at Youngjae's apartment when he was playing the piano.

Daehyun ran his fingers through his light brown hair before bracing his palms on the edge of the sink and frowning. 'What are things I enjoy? What am I looking for out of this hobby? Fulfillment, or something else?'

He did like the strolls he took to Shortstub's when the weather was nice. But he didn't think exercising was something he'd want to do as a hobby. It was gross and sweaty, and he already worked up enough of a sweat going to and fro at work.

During his early middle school days, he'd been good with making handicrafts. Folding paper to make things, helping Umma Choi with sewing and patching up things, making beaded bracelets with little charms...

The thought of occupying his hands with something was more than appealing. It was ideal! If he gave his hands something to do when the nerves hit, then he'd be able to better knock his cheek scratching habit! He'd have to add some practicality to it so he could justify spending the money, but spending a little to make something that could be useful later on would be worth it and also save him money in the long run!

'What qualifies as worth it? If I make it for me, or if I make it for someone else? Should I make bracelets again? Or should I find something new?'

Buzzing from the phone in his pocket brought him out of his thoughts. He'd put more thought into this later.

One glance at who it was from, and Daehyun's heart thumped against his chest.

Youngjae – 14:50

Gonna start piano time soon~ Want to hang out down here while I play? :)

Wanting to hang out a lot is another common thing.

Daehyun chewed on his bottom lip as Hyosung's words from yesterday reverberated in his mind. He was in an alternating kind of opinion with the situation of what to do with his feelings. His heart and mind debated back and forth, but he still hadn't figured out how to proceed.

His heart told him to take the chance, it'd be fine!

His brain told him not to risk it because things would end up the same as they did with Sunhwa.

'But if I keep denying myself happiness because of what could happen, will I ever be able to move past what's holding me back?' Daehyun furrowed his brows in annoyance. 'It's also insulting to Youngjae to compare him to someone like Sunhwa! So cut that out, brain!' He had no proof that they were similar in any way except for being self confident, which is a trait shared by many. Zelo included!

Me – 14:52

Of course, I'll be down in a minute?

Youngjae – 14:52

:D I'll get the tea ready!

When his brain started trying to go back to whispering what ifs, Daehyun mentally stomped his foot to solidify his stance. 'If I keep on listening to my brain on this, I'll just keep on silently suffering. I need to step away from that!'

He muted his brain as best he could and left to head down to Youngjae's. While he didn't plan on speaking up about his feelings, he could at least try to drop hints in a way that would get Youngjae to realize Daehyun liked him without him having to say it. Maybe doing that would clear up any reservations Youngjae might have?

--

A/N:

Dreamed last night I posted this, but like, the skeleton of it. Where it's just the dialogue and very vague descriptions. Things like...
SPLUTTERS. "I- Wha- Um, I uh-"
And...
"but that's not important!" AWKWARD CHUCKLE HA HA HA.

Introduced: Hyosung