Note to readers: eto yung continuation, How they started sa POV nanaman ni Dara, kung mejo magulo..comment nalang kayo or message niyo ako and i need opinions. Mejo basag po kasi ako magisip. Bare with me. Thank you <3

track 3: imagination by shawn mendes

Sandy's POV

Oh, there she goes again
Every morning it's the same
You walk on by my house
I wanna call out your name

DAY 1 - night 

That was your first night, i met you.. Hindi pala, nakita lang kita. Bilang small town resort lang to, I heard someone will come na iaacommodate ni Jasmine, at nakita ko yung pagbago ng mukha ni Bom, parang kilala niya. Pero bat yung mukha niya nagaalanganin? She looked worried. At nakatingin siya sa akin.

Jasmine: sis, di ba kayo excited? May guest na tayong artista, baka naman mapromote yung resort natin. 
Bom: Sana naman di yun magcause ng gulo. 
Dannie: Sis, bat naman manggungulo? Warfreak ba yun? 

In response, nagkatinginan lang sila ni Theodore. There's must be something. Tapos bigla nalang napatili si Jas. 

Jas: omg, malapit na daw siya!!!! . And Ate Bom hindi yon manggulo ambait non, tsaka ang sipag. I've been following her nung trainee pa siya sa Higher Ground Entertainment tapos classmate ko kapatid niya sa International Business School. Hay dami ko nang chika. Wag kayong magaalala ako ang papagalitan nila mommy kung magcause ng gulo, wag mo na pagaalahanin si Tita. Konti lang naman nakakilala sa kanya kasi kakasimula pa lang niyang sumikat. Osha osha bye na!! Yieeeee

Habang ako natatawa drank the wine left in my glass. Then balik ako sa kwarto ko, i need to edit pala. 

Thei: eonni? San ka? 
Sandy: i'm going to cave in. 

Bigla nagsitigilan sila sa pinaggagawa nila at tinitigan ako. Bat ba naging praning mga tao? 

I showed ny smile "ano ba kayo, mageedit lang ako. I need to make a living you know? Chill guys. Hahahaha" 

Dannie: Ate, wag ka magkulong uli ha? Andito naman kami for you. 

Bakit naging emotional tong mga taong to? Hahaha  Inassure ko nalang sila i smiled back. I am healed na sa nakaraan ko, okay na ako. Although I know na  naghirap kami before. May mga bagay sadyang ibaon nalang sa limot. Kahit alam nating kailangan talagang balikan. Pero, I chose to shut everything masakit dalhin halos araw araw ang bigat ng damdamin ko. Hindi ko masyadong maalala lahat pero may mga panaginip na parang totoo. But I don't wanna remember it baka nightmare yon. With that, nahihirapan akong matulog sa gabi. Ayoko ng tahimik, mas lalong nagiingay ang utak ko. That's why i chose to edit at night para mabusy naman utak ko at mapagod pagsisikat ang araw. Somehow it helped me naman. Kaya andito nanaman ako sa kweba ko, nageedit. Kakagaling ko lang kasi sa isang isla din, kaso its not known but i chose to pick those kind of island kasi you never knew what experience they have their, the culture. Anyways, in that way din kasi I may be able to realize myself more kaya naging vlogger ako kasi i want to document everything as I grow. Natapos ko lang natransfer yung files. I got bored. Today is Friday, busy week nila Bom pala ngayon. So i decided na maglakad lakad, umupo muna ako sa terrace ng rest house namin. And I decided na maglakad lakad, i didnt know, papunta pala ako sa Cabana ko, yes i have also my Cabana. Kapag gusto ko na magisa, maliligo na walang gumugulo, doon ako. Sometimes, hook up? Yes, minsan lang naman. No string attached lang. I choose to keep it sa family kasi. I dont want them to be bothered. 

While I was walking, may narinig akong familiar na tono ng kanta, well, im a music lover, kami magkapamilya, our life is like made of tunes and melodies. We all love music, si Thei was a vocalist, Dannie is a theater artist. Habang ako, lover of music and writer before, but nung may nangyari. I dont know how to write again. The song was really familiar parang narinig ko na to, nasa playlist ko to eh. 
 
Naalala ko yung kanta, Stars ng Callalily. Well, i love stars, moon at lalo na ang dagat kaya i chose to walk at night. I'm about to walk ahead I heard someone singing, maganda boses niya. But di ko alam sa KANYA pala yung boses na yun. I was honestly captivated by it kaso, impossible naman tayo mahuhulog dahil sa boses ng tao diba?.. Baka depende.. 

Naglalakad pa ako hanggang sa umabot na ako sa sarili kong Cabana, huminga ako ng malalim at piniling umidlip sa duyan. 

" alam mo ba what mess you're in now?" 

"dad, tama na" 

" Kailangan niyang matuto, naghirap tayo for her scholarship."

"Dad, maawa ka na kay ate" 

"walang kwenta. Pinagsasayang lang pera na pinaghirapan natin" 

"Matalino ka nga pero ang gaga mo." 

"Wala kang kwenta, iniwan mo bunso mong kapatid para habulin yung boypren mo?" 

"wake up. Sandara Alexis. Anak ba talaga kita? Di ka naman ganito ah? “

Then i saw him banging the door tapos i feel suffocated gusto kong sumigaw pero hunanghina ako i was uneasy, but thank God. I woke up. This Nightmare again. Lucky what was only a dream, pero parang totoo. 

Pawis na pawis ako, with that nauuhaw ako. I check my watch, ang aga pa pala quarter to 12midnight, its friday night. Kakasimula pa lang ng gabi. I need a drink. Kaya napagdesisyunan kong pumunta sa bar ni Bomspring. 

Habang pabalik ako sa main island i heard a familiar voice talking with Bom?.. Bom?? 

"i just wanna see her" 

"kung lilisan ka uli, wag na. Tama na yung ginawa mo dati." 

"d-di k-ko alam na ganon pala, Bom. Please" 

Di ko na natapos pag eavesdrop ko when my phone rang and Bom stood up, bigla akong tumakbo. It's her  calling. Tumakbo muna ako nilampasan yung Cabana na yon. 

"Nagtext si Dannie, nawala ka sa kwarto mo, San ka Sandy Alexis? “

I took a big leap of steps para di tayo magtagpo. Salamat sa mga buhangin na di magcause ng ingay. 

" Ahh.. Nasa Cabana ako, nagpahangin lang sana kaso nakatulog ako. Pero, papunta na ako sa Spring Pub. See you." 

"Okay, susunod ako."

I took a deep sigh, muntikan na yon. Alam kong sayo yung Cabana na pinuntahan ni Bom. Unti unti na akong nagconnect the dots. I'm curious. When i went to the Spring Pub yung bar nila Bomspring, di ko na kinulit si Bom. At di naman niya ako kinulit andun lang siya to check me out tapos she knew na umatake nanaman yung nightmare, evident sa nainom ko ngayon. I saw Thei, he said hi sa mga kakilala namin o yung suki na sa resort namin. Then took a shot of soju. 

Sandy: Pwede naman kukuha ng sariling baso. Thei. 
Thei:sorry na, sungit ah. Binangungot ka nanaman? Are you okay? 

Nilaro ko muna yung baso, then took a shot again. 
"Ahhh. I'm fine nagpapaantok lang ako" 
"soju lang naman ininom, okay lang siya. Sige na maniniwala na ako, puntahan ko muna jowa ko, Ate."

at bineso na ako for a farewell. 
Sa unang gabi kitang narinig, impossible naman akong mahulog sa boses mo lang, but your voice is familiar. Di ko alam kung saan, pero baka may kapareha ka lang na boses. I shrug myself and decided na magpakalulong sa alak magdamag. I'm exhausted. 

Back to reality, andito nanaman ako sa Cabana drinking again. Listening to the song that I heard from a movie, Imagination by Shawn Mendes. Then i heard a knock, it was my sis, Dannie. 

"Ate, ready ka na ba sa part two?na-curious yung mga readers. "

"i just wanna end this search Dan.I need her. "

~~I want to tell you how beautiful you are from where I'm standing
You got me thinking what we could because
I keep craving, craving, you don't know it but it's true
Can't get my mouth to say the words they want to say to you~~ 

I cant stop crying habang niyayakap ako ni Bom, I thought that was only for a day, but ang tanga lang kasi may nakita akong pamilyar na pigura. You were there. Sa entrance. Nakakahiya. Bago ka pa mas makalapit sa akin, ngumiti ka pa, pero ako umasa akong iiwan muli ako. Pero bumalik ka, di ko alam kung maging masaya ako o magagalit. Tumakbo ako. I'm too drunk to run farther, alam kong weakling ako but pinili kong tumakbo palayo sayo, sobrang pagod ako napahinto ako, tatakbo sana ako uli. Bigla mo kong hinila palapit sayo. I can't look straight sayo. 

This feeling i had sobrang bilis. Isang araw lang, parang it was 7 years of friendship na yun. Biglang huminto ang maingay kong utak at naguguluhang puso nung niyakap mo ako. Tangina, i never met someone to calm my loud thoughts for years. 

Ibinaon ko yung ulo ko sa bandang balikat mo, hiya, tampo, saya, at lungkot. Damdaming magulo, pinatahan ng isang yakap at haplos mo. Ramdam kong ngumiti ka. 

"Akala mo, iniwan kita? Umalis ako to set our breakfast sa Cabana ko. You worry too much. Ikaw naman masyadong naattach na sa akin." 

Di ako sumagot, hinigpitan ko lang yung yakap ko. Nagflash kasi bigla yung ngiti mo nung dumating ka kanina, tangina yung mata na liliit kapag ngingiti ka, di ka kasi nagmake up ngayon so, i saw the bare faced part of yours. Gusto kitang halikan. Kaso kaharap mo yung babaeng tila nagiisip bata na parang iniwan ng ina. You saw the childish part in me. I heard you chuckled again. 

"Ang cute mong umiyak, don't worry magpapaalam na ako when i leave. Ang taray mo kahapon eh ang softie mo pala. Cute. " 

You pushed me lightly, so that you can see my puffy eyes na ramdam ko, buong mukha ko na yung lumobo. Gusto ko nalang magpalamon sa buhangin. Nakayuko parin ako but you bend lightly para makita mo mukha kong mansanas. You wiped my tears. You grabbed my hand, and smiled, ayan ka nanaman, "kain na tayo?“ then we both heard na kumalam na yung tyan ko. Nice. 

~~We walk, we laugh, we spend our time walking by the ocean side
Our hands are gently intertwined~~

" busog ka na? “ nakangiti mong tanong after you finish your coffee. 
"sh-sh-syempre, ikaw kasi naglalagay ng pagkain sa plato ko. I dont really eat much sa breakfast."
"alam mo, miss, importante yung breakfast kasi sila nagbibigay ng energy for the day."  bigla kang tumayo at you open your palm eh tiningnan ko lang naman. Tapos tinitingnan mo ako kung paano ako magrespond kaya in the end hinila mo ako patayo. 

" tara maglakad tayo, itotour mo ako sa isla"
"nagtour naman tayo kahapon" 
"maguusap tayo."
"b-bakit"
"gusto kitang makilala, Hi I'm Chaeryn Luna Lee, you can call me CL." you offered your hand and smiled on me. Ang cute talaga ng mga mata mo. 
"A-ako p-pala, Sandara Alexis Park just call me Sandy." then i shook your hand pero kinabigla ko, bibitawan ko ma sana kamay ko, pero mas hinigpitan mo pa yung hawak na parang di mo ako bitawan. Wag naman ganito, baka masanay ako. Baka hahanapin ko, pero naging katotohanan di ko malimutan ang mga huling sandali tayong nagkasama. 

Sadly. I became desperate to see you again. 

~~A feeling I just can't describe
All this time we spent alone, thinking we could not belong to something so damn beautiful
So damn beautiful~~

Di ko namalayang nakatulog pala ako sa Duyan, nasa Cabana ko pala tayo, paglingon ko you were holding your notebook. I guess you were reading something. Napansin mong gumalaw ang duyan, at  binaba mo yung binabasa mo and you smiled again and said, "napagod ata kita, pinaiyak kita eh" babangon sana ako pero lumapit ka at binigyan mo ako ng malamig na juice. 

"It's hot, uminom ka muna, you need to rest. Pwede naman tayo magusap na di maglalakad. And kasalanan ko, pinaiyak kita. I'm- - sorry. Dara, i mean it. Nagsisisi akong iniwan kita." tinitigan lang kita kasi parang amg laki ng kasalanan mo sakin that was just only for one time mo akong iniwan kaninang umaga pero bat, parang ang tagal at lang laki ng pasan mo nung humingi ka ng tawad? 

Nung nakilala kita, there's something na nagtwitwist yung utak ko at puso ko kapag nakakasama kita, parang silang alon na kumakalma dahil you can really understood me. Kung gaano ako ka kalat. Gusto kong umamin sayo, pero hinihintay ko ang tamang pagkakataon. Handa akong maghintay, kung tayo naman talaga. Sana ikaw na nga.

Napatila ako sa pagiisip nung nakita kong tumulo na ang mga luha mo, you checked the time. Niyakap mo ako. Di ko maintindihan, alam mong nakikita mo sa pagmumukha ko yung mga tanong na gusto kong itanong, gusto kong sabihin ang dapat kong sabihin, bakas din ang takot sa aking mga mata kasi baka iiwan mo naman ako muli kaso umuurong yung dila ko. Bigla naman din nagriring yung phone mo, pero ayaw mong sagutin. 

"Sandy, makinig ka ha. This may be impossible to hear me out pero i just want you to know that, mahal kita. This may be shocking kasi ilang araw mo pa akong nakita pero wag ka masyado magisip. I have loved you for years already. And handa akong magsimula tayo muli. This may not be easy as before, but please i hope you'll accept my love. Pwede pa naman diba? May lugar pa ba ako sa puso mo? You may have a lot of questions running in your mind but being with you for 48hours. You made it so precious."

Nabigla ako when you hold my hand and you squeeze it at gently hinalikan, tumulo naman luha ko, bat kung kelan akong sumaya ay iiwan ako agad nito? You slowly let go of my hand, you remove the necklace that you're wearing, it was a star pendant necklace. Sinuot mo sakin. Then you looked at me intently. You kissed me again in the hands, then i heard Jassy and Bom running towards the Cabana, 
Hingal na hingal sila kakatakbo. 

Jassy: i'm sorry ate CL pero si HL nagoapanic ka di ka raw sumasagot sa tawag, hinahanap ka na ng manager mo tsaka ng daddy mo. I'm sorry ate Dara but ate CL needs to go. 

She just looked at me, again. Touched my face, you smiled, your eyes that i can see how they shines when you're happy, your nose that crinkles when you laugh, your laugh which was my favorite melody. I fell in love with you. Tumayo ka, and you kissed my forehead. 

"Babalik ako, Di kita iiwan. Dara, thats a promise i ing keep. Ayaw kita mawala uli. Sana ako na yung piliin mo." 

You grabbed your phone, and your suitcases at umalis. Andito nananman tayo, iiyak uli, pero ngayon may pangako kang binitawan. Sana naman totoo yun. Nakita ko nalang habang niyakap ako ni Bom, i saw the notebook na binabasa niya kanina. Nung kinuha ko, it was the notebook na may logo ng isang parang sa city of bones pero, it was "The Luna and The Lycans" it was familiar, i saw some writings na parang dalawang klaseng penmanship andun. Dalawa yung may-ari. I was stunned nung nakita ko Name ko at Name mo ang nandoon. Tumingin ako kay Bom, biglang lumayo yung tingin niya. Maraming tanong na gusto kong tanungin. Pero i saw a post it na parang ngayon mo nalng nasulat. 

"who am i? Just read these things,thru these sheets you'll know who i really am. Wait for me., xxCL" 

I just stood up and closed the door. I cried again. Kinakatok ako ni Bom. Pero i chose to lock myself again and cry to sleep. My heart is tired for everything, di ko alam anong nararamdaman ko, i was a mess, gusto ko lang siya bumalik at makasama pero i know i cant own someone. 

*****
"jimmy!!! Meet rinah!! Simula ngayon magtrotropa na tayo okay? “
*****
“i need inspiration, para makapgsulat." 

"ako pala, hindi pa ba ako sapat?“

******
"whenever you're sad, just look up.Let me be your moon." 

"and I will be your star" 

*****

“kaya kita iniwan kasi you were happy na with the person you love. And im happy for you. Just let me be, iwan mo na ako." 

" i hate you already, i cant see you as a friend. Ayaw na kita. I'm sorry. "

****
I woke up again its 9pm, pawis na pawis ako. I checked my phone daming missed calls ni Bom(60) Dannie(35) mom (15). Baka siguro nagaalala sila, but di ko na sinagot. Bigla akong nagtamggal ng damit kasi nakaswimming attire naman ako beneath kaya i decided maligo para kumalma yung utak ko. May napaginipan ako, she was familiar, di ko alam. Kasi i was lost pa sa paglisan ni CL sa akin. Nasuot ko pa yung necklace na binigay mo. I saw food sa labas ng pintuan but its late kasi kinain na ng mga stray cats. Napangiti nalang ako. The skies were clear. Kaya perfect tining din yung pagnight swimming ko. Really, it cleared my thoughts habang lumulutang ka sa dagat. I was shocked kasi biglang sumigaw si Bomspring na tumatakbo palapit sa akin. 

"Dara-ya!!! Darassii!!! Eonnie!!!!!! Sandara Alexis, jusko!! Dont do it please" 
"wait, what?" napaahon ako bigla. 

“don't die dahil iniwan ka ni Chaeryn. Mahal ka naman ni gaga, babalik yun nagusap kami. She'll be back. "

" nagusap kayo? “

“di ka magpakamatay? “

“gaga, sarap kaya mag night swimming. Bumabad lang ako saglit. So ano nga nagusap kayo? Magkilala talaga kayo? “

"she doesnt want to stress you out kaya i wont talk more about our past. Past is past." 

Napatahimik nalang ako, maybe its better to know it on my own. I have the notebook. Dun nalangso in response. Ngumiti ako and umahon na, 

"okay. Tara balik tayo sa Pub." 

"okay ka na?“

" iinom ko nalang lahat ng to"

++
~~I keep craving, craving, you don't know it, but it's true
Can't get my mouth to say the words they want to say to you
This is typical of love
Can't wait anymore, I won't wait
I need to tell you how I feel when I see us together forever~~

Like i said ilang araw na nakalipas she said na babalik siya but it took so long for her to comeback. Ilang tao na nirereto nila Jassy sakin pero wala talaga. Ikaw parin at ikaw parin sa araw araw. Bat mo kasi ako sinanay na kahit konting saglit. Nakasama kita napakasulit. Pero ngayon para na akong hangin na nawala sayo, nitext sa akin or chat wala. Dami na akong naiisip. Sa sobrang wasted ko ng ilang gabi i knew what happened before, nagsusulat tayo ng letters sa notebook na iyon, we made advices doon, yung mga tula ko, sinasagutan mo din ng tula. We're really close dati but not until i found Gio Daryl Bonifacio nahulog ako sa kanya, i tried to keep up with the pretty girls, which napalayo na ako sayo. And ayun iniwan mo ako. Kaya pala ang galit ni Bom sayo is grabe kasi dun nagsimula yung dagok ko sa buhay. Nasagot lahat ng tanong ko dahil kay Thei. Kasi He witnessed everything kasi malapit si CL kay Thei, she was the one na nag encourage kay Thei na maging vocalist amd writer. Thei is not mad kasi alam niya din si Gio, he knew na saktan niya ako. I didnt know kaya pala to na suspend, kasi sinuntok niya si Gio dahil sa ginawa niya sakin.kaya ko siya naalala dahil sa ginawa ni Theodore para sakin. Everynight this became my rountine. Iinom, hahangout, paparty, someone tries to come near me pero ikaw ang hinahanap ko. 

Today is Saturday. Tapos na din ako magkwento kay Dannie, siya na magtatapos kasi ako mismo di ko alam anong ending ng kwento naming dalawa. Maraming dumayo. Kasi weekend, a long weekend actually so i decided to party. I need to loose, nawawalan na ako ng pag-asa sa kanya na bumalik, tumigil na din ako nagsearch sa kanya kasi i heard busy siya kasama sa producer niya na rumored boyfriend niya eh, i heard sa fangirls niya na ex niya pala yun. Ayoko na magisip ng malala, soju night for tonight para naman knockout na din ako, then bom came near me

"Sandy, stop. Namumula ka na." 

"Bom, hep hep. I need beer, teka Hayi!!! I need a bucket please." 

"hayi, wag." 

"hayi, please kaya ko pa naman, manjwala ka diba malakas ako? “

“bahala ka na nga Sandara Alexis." sbay walkout ni Bom. 

Habang palalim na ang gabi, the music gets louder. I can feel na may tama na talaga ako pero im still aware  sa nangyayari sa paligid ko kasi im used to drink a lot thess days. Sanay na din yung mga staffs kaya may nakaassign na sa akin na magdadala sa Cabana ko, si Mino. But may iba bang tumitingin sakin habang nagsasayaw ako, di ko siya masyado kilala kasi nakakalo siya, and nakatshirt lang at nakapants, rubbershoes? Baka lasing lang talaga ako, until someone was dancing sa likod ko. I just smiled, cutie naman siya eh. So ayun i danced with him, when he tried to put his hand sa shoulders ko, yung nakakalo na kanina tinitingnan ako, lumapit at kinuha ako palabas ng pub. 

I'm about to push myself away from her pero i can smell that uminom din siya, tsaka amoy sigarilyo. I dont know but her scent is familiar, exactly the one that i was craving for for the past days. Her scent. She opened near a mini cabana near the pub. She pushed me inside and locked the door and pinned me to the door, she kissed me hard. Her lips are soft yet i guess she was pissed, pero i can feel the longing that she was searching for, tumugon ako sa halik, dahil na din sa i can see her face, although hilong hilona ako i saw her face. But ganito yun everynight, pati sa mga lalaki i can still see her but this time i gave in namiss ko na talaga siya. She let me lie down sa kama, im too weak to see her clearly, i know its a her dahil sa lips niya, its soft. Just like her. I tried to look again, in her face i can just see her lips and there's a mole beside it. Gosh, am i dreaming? Is this another lucid hallucination? 
I heard her panting and kissed me again, slowly. Di ko maintindihan, i found peace again, sa sobrang oagod ko kakaiyak, nakatulog na muli ako pero ramdam ko yung yakap niya na kayhigpit, ibinaon ko mukha ko sa dibdib niya, i took all of my strength na sasabihin kong 

"I miss you, I- i forgive you, I love you, Chaeryn Luna." 

Kung panagingip man lang to, please di na sana ako gisingin. I want her to be with me. Forever. 

~~~~In my dreams, you're with me
We'll be everything I want us to be
And from there, who knows, maybe this will be the night
That we kiss for the first time
Or is that just me and my imagination
I keep craving, craving, you don't know it, but it's true
Can't get my mouth to say the words they want to say to you~~~~