When we were at the elevator hinawakan mo nanaman wrist ko, like indirect holding hands. Pero sa pagkakaalam ko gusto mo minsan ganon para you wanna feel the heartbeat of the person na hinahawakan mo, kung sana may speaker tong pulso maririnig mo siguro pangalan mo. 

Nung napansin mong tulala nanaman ako na bigla ako nung iniintertwine mo hands mo sa kamay ko. I looked at you then you smiled in return. Then you said;

"Kahit ang cold mo sa akin today, I really missed you Ssandara-tokki." Eh ako, whipped sayo siyempre tamang ngiti lang tayo. Then nag-ring  yung phone mo. 

"Hi B, yes I'm here with Dara. We're on our way to meet the others. Hahaha, don't miss me too much. Kiss Donut and Roca for me? Love you. Be home soon." 
*ting*
Kasabay sa pagbukas ng elevator, nagising din ako, straight ka pala, di pala pwede, hindi nga pala tayo. Wala naman talagang tayo.

"Dara-Unnie, tara na?" tanong mo dahil di pa ako lumalabas. 

"ah-sorry, mauna ka muna.i'll go to the restroom first" tamang pahid muna sa mga luha. 

+++++

++It matters how this ends
'Cause what if I never love again?++

After my retouch, I exhaled deeply then ayun tamang bungad ni Bom sakin kakapasok lang sa restroom.

Bom: Oh, you're here. I didn't noticed.

ang sarcastic talaga nitong si Bom, pero she's been a great unnie tho, I am close with her because we jive into doing crazy stuffs we call it "Ssangtwins thing" Kaya I chose to live near her so I can check on her from time to time eh napakahome person din yan tamad makisocialize kasi naman din sa attitude netong babaeng to when it comes to problema sa buhay, she's my alarm clock to reality. 

Bom: Dara~ya!!!! Aish, this woman!!! I missed you!! Di mo ba ako namimiss? 
Niyakap pa ako ng mahigpit. Pinapalo ko likod niya ng slight kasi sinasakal na niya ako. 

"bom, ang higpit, too tight too tight!!!*coughs* " sabi ko

"oh, bat di kayo nagkasabay ni Chae papasok dba kasabay kayo?wait nag retouch, wag mong sabihin naging marupok ka nanaman Zandara-ya?!!!!" tanong niya.

Ayan nanaman ang boses niyang napakamatulis. Sa pagkabigla ko, i covered your mouth quickly. 

"ikaw, yung bibig mo, keep it low. Aish, eto na nga magpapaalam na ako, huling gabi na, nakadecide na ako ilang taon na din ako umaasa, nagaabang, wala pa rin. Pagod na ako, unnie, Ubos na si Zandara.Gosh naluluha na naman ako..." agad kong dinilat mata ko at pinapaypay gamit ng kamay ko with my handkerchief para matuyo yung mga  luha na namumuo uli. 

Hinawakan naman ni Bom ang likod ko, sabay sabi "You deserve way more better Z, don't push yourself to someone who don't see how genuine your heart is.I'll be outside, be ready na tatabihan lang kita. " then you squeezed my hand, I nodded and smiled. You really care for us Unnie. I fixed myself just like the old times unleashing Jolly Dara kahit magmomove on na sa taong mahal niya, but thinking that she's now happy okay na yun sakin. For the last time. 

My last memories with her starts now.

++I don't need your honesty
It's already in your eyes
And I'm sure my eyes, they speak for me++

When I entered at the room that Chae reserved , nagkatitigan nanaman tayo. Then sumigaw si Bom "ANNYEONGHASEYO, WASSUP WE 2NE1, GROUP HUG!!!!! PALI PALI " 
So we hugged and put each other's hand on our waistSls i am thankful na pinaggitnaan tayo ni Bom, she kept her promise kasi feel ko anytime bibigay na ako. But I still feel your stares on me, which i'm trying to avoid. 
Minzy broke the hug and said "UNNIES!!!!! I missed you all!! Huhuhuhuhuhu. I'm sorry for everything for- -" 
"heeeep!!!, let's just leave all in the past, shall we?" Chae cut the sensitive moment that Minzy wants to say 
"yeah, i guess the important thing we should think is the NOW, aaawwwww i missed you Bommy Unnieeee!!!"sabi ni Minzy at nagclcling sa arms ni Bom. 
"Mingkki ya!!! Alam kong miss moko pero di ka pusa para magcling sakin" Bom 

Then, we talked kung paano tayo nagsimula as a group, inaalala kung gano ka dugyot mga pagmumukha natin dati. And di na natin alam na magdidilim na at umabot na tayo sa paguusap na nagsiiyakan na kami ni Bom, kami kasi yung mga matatanda at mga softies one thing of Ssangtwin things kasi yun, iyakin. Kasi di natin maiisip na ganito pala tayo sa huli. Pero di naman mawawala yung pag-asa na tayo maging buo muli. 

++No one knows me like you do
And since you're the only one that matters
Tell me who do I run to?++

As the time goes by, napansin mo ata naging mailap ako sayo, i've been quiet and distant I am with Bom most of the time, until nag-ig live tayo. Kilalang kilala mo talaga ako kahit non verbal cues ko, nirerespect mo ako. And I rarely have those kind of people that's why I fell for you. But I still feel that you want to talk to me, your eyes that I can feel, your voice that gives me jitters everytime you call me. 
*flashback*

"ya!!!!Dara-rabbit!!!! Where's tamtam?" 
"wae? Akala ko sa akin na si Tamatam?" 
"Papagalitan ko lang"
"bakit"
"Di niya pinapasaya mom niya eh, papaluin ko lang" 
- - - - - 
"Dara ya!! Ngayon ba yung shoot mo?"
"Ne, kaya I'm practicing ngayon"
"I know you can do it, talent mo kaya yan but lemme help you.."
- - - - - - - 
*knock*
"Can we talk outside?" hinila mo ako palabas gave me a handkie, na syempre fave scent ko sayo. 
I was crying , kasi alam mo kapag may isishoot tayong mv napreressure talaga tayo bc of the staffs, andaming boss, ang ingay and ayoko yung napupush ako sa limit kasi nasasaktan ako. Bilis kong masaktan kapag akoy mapagsabihan . Feel ko ako yung dahilan kapag nadedelay tayo, pero ayan ka, to the rescue. Encouraging me to strive better because you know how will I do my best in everything para sa group. 

You really know my emotions so well, thats why i felt secured when I'm with you, you brighten my gloomy days. You gave me hope when I won't be able to cope. Oh, why I fell for my cold hearted leader? 
+ + + 

++Look, don't get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow++
Yeah, then the ig live ended, we said hi and i did the MC dara on the show, reminiscing our past, and talk about how we started our friendships as far as we can remember. Then we talked about our private lives, and bom held my hand. I just smiled. 
"CL- unnie balita ko happily in love ka ata ngayon, what's the plan ehem ehem" tanong ni Minzy

"uhmm, i don't know we are just enjoying my vacation, and he respects that, healing time. I need to heal muna from the you know sa mga nangyari" Simpleng sagot mo.

Then our eyes turned to Bommy, habang lumalapak sa watermelon.
**sluuurrrp** "teka , ano ba" 
"Tinitingnan ko lang muna kami ni Scott, We are not in a rush" bilis na tugon niya. 

Then all eyes were on me, 

"Uhm, I'm committed sa work, siguro yun nga shows and friends muna, just like chae, healing time."

++Let this be our lesson in love
Let this be the way we remember us++
I don't wanna be cruel or vicious
And I ain't asking for forgiveness++ 

Then Mingkki needed to go and we decided to leave and have our photo ops, we havent have proper photo tho, like i only took a selca with your back bc you're having a phone call with someone bc within days, you'll be back there and I heard from bommy, you'll be having your own fam soon. Scott and Marc are close friends. It's sad  to hear everything about your updates galing sa ibang tao, so with that I realized, you made me realize where should I stand I am only a friend, I should never assummed everything nung simula pa, tama si Bom, I was just dreaming.

A dream that I will cherish for the rest of my life. We are at the car park Bom patted my shoulder, 
" may driver ka?"
I am about to answer, CL butted in.
"tinanong mo na yan kanina Bom, siya lang si Bumblebee kasama niya" sagot mo

"Ay i want to have a ride with you pa naman, Zands, ang sikip naman dun, aish, ikaw ba Chae you comin with me or may manager ka or -" 

"I'll go with Dara-rabbit" sabay akbay sa akin. 
Then by looking to Bom's look, parang nagtatanong if im okay, I just nod and said goodbye at nagbeso ka na bc sinundo ka na ni Scott.

Scott: you comin? Chae? 

Mas hinigpitan mo pa akbay mo sakin, "I'll be with this one, I miss this chic. Thanks scots take care of our Bommy ok?" sagot mo

Why are you like this, why are making this hard for me, but I think I'll be just be selfish for the night, I might use this time an opportunity for another memory to cherish,to treasure. 

So,  we are at the car and waiting if may magsasalita then you choose to break the silence by connecting the bluetooth device to your phone and this somg played, All I Ask by Adele. 

"S-san tayo?" tanong ko
"Park, at the park. Like we used to. Where we used to, please.Wake me up, when were there na"  Then pinikit mo mga mata mo, I assumed na sumakit ulo mo kakadaldal niyo ni Bom.

So I listened to the song you've played I was humming to keep me awake and recalling the moments we had, we have all the time before, we were so free at that time, I wish maybe in another alternate universe baka maging tayo pa. Pero wala eh, you're not mine. 

Well, mejo malapit lang yung park na iyon kung saan tayo nagsimula, naguusap,
**flashback**

"Chae, why are we here?" Tanong ko
"whenever you feel, suffocated  and if i'm not by your side, you can come here and talk to the moon. Kapag mamimiss mo ako, just look up to the sky.I'll be there. Always Ssantokki,I love you always, remember that." 

Ayun, we arrived na pala so nagpark na ako, 
I exhaled heavily and when my hand was on the clutch,gigisingin na sana kita pero you held my hand and you just sang the last chorus of the song. 

++All I ask is
If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
'Cause what if I never love again
++

End.