It only took a long time to realize that I liked you since the day we met, however fate tells us we're not meant for each other, but I have this chance to be with you  and to seek for answers of my what ifs.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It's been a few days since I came from LA for my healing time since the disaster had happened, you heard it, disaster, kaguluhan nauwi lahat sa delubyo na nangyari sa ilang taon naming pagsasama, ginawa naman namin ang lahat para magawa yung purpose ng grupo namin, yun ay makilala ng mundo ang Tunog o Himig ng KPop, it was a success nakilala nila tayo bilang girl group, the one who set the trends, trendsetter kumbaga. But eto nga totoo nga pala yung "not all great stories have a happy endings" . We chose to live on our own, do things on our own, moving on to the things we wanted to hold on... 

We were waving at Scott's bmw car as I wait na mawala sa parking area.
Nauna kang pumasok sa sasakyan mo at in-on mo yung engine ng sasakyan nagpapalamig, I was waiting for someone to break the ice, i can feel your coldness eversince we met,  until napansin kong hindi ka bitawan ni bom nung pumasok na tayo sa resto. I know there's something, I want to know, pero alam ko kapag malalaman ko may masasaktan. A part of me wants to know kasi gusto ko ako lang nakakaalam sa updates mo sa ganap mo sa buhay i want to the first one to know- i'm about to open the convo. Yet... Before entering sa beetle mong sasakyan i heard my phone ringing...

**phone ringing**
Marc: hey my bomb, text me when youre at home? I missed you already. 

I replied: yes, B i will. I'm heading somewhere with Ssandara-tokki. I'll call when I'm home. I Lo - i miss you.

Well, after ng napansin ko how you treated me while we were at the resto my mind can't help to think of what caused it, i thought you're just busy that's why you're spaced out pero hindi, meron talaga and before this night ends i want to confess something i hope i wont mess up, with that I decided to play music from my playlist of ours i called it cieldal playlist well, cieldal, cause its my name ciel and your nickname, dal-ong (a/n: huge credits to @iCarlyRusher on twt for introducing this name that i so love to use) 

 The playlist consists all of my unsaid feelings and. were piled up there, one of it was All I Ask by Adele and I press play. I took a deep breath and you asked 

"S-san tayo?" tanong mo
"Park, at the park. Like we used to. Where we used to, please.Wake me up, when were there na" 

 Then pumikit ako at pumiling umidlip kasi ayoko kukulitin mo ako to ask bakit, kasi honestly nahihirapan akong iexplain nararamdaman ko, and as I close my eyes i begin to recall how i brought you to that special place.

****************flashback***********
While the i was at my room lying with my rilakkummas, and i'm about to open my notebook to write.... 

**phone rings** 
"Chaerin, please be ready for your flight again to LA."

"Sge, sasabihan ko lang sina Bo-..."

"It's for your Hello es tracks, so ikaw lang talaga, you need to prepare more songs and less distractions, you know the rules, CL"

"I.. i will..." 
**call ended**

Then I heard the three of you laughing, 
And went outside to know what are you guys into, ayun nakikita kong tawang tawa ka dahil etong si Bommie nanggagaya nanaman sa ating mga boss sa yg, habang kayo ni mingkki gumugulong gulong sa tawa, i have these times na ayoko maging masaya ka kapag wala ako sa tabi mo, di ko alam pero bigla kitang hinablot palabas. At ayun without a word dumating tayo sa park.. Kung saan whenever i jog this is my last stop to have my breathing exercise and minsan dito ako nagtatambay.
Nakalimutan ko hawak hawak pala kita, at you asked me:

"Chae, why are we here?" Tanong mo.

Hindi ko alam pero i know this will be hard for me na magpaalam i dont say goodbyes kasi it feels like hindi na tayo magkikita, and yun ang pinakaayaw kong gawin lalong lalo na sayo. Tumingala lang ako sa ulap then there i saw my happy signs, the moon was close to the skies with  stars scattered around it. 

"whenever you feel, suffocated  and if i'm not by your side, you can come here and talk to the moon. Kapag mamimiss mo ako, just look up to the sky.I'll be there. Always Ssantokki,I love you always, remember that." then I held your hand and smiled. 

You were speechless after that, ewan ko kasi madaldal ka naman pero ngayon ginusto ko din yung katahimikan na kasama ka. Tumingin ka lang din naman sa ulap, how i wish kung pwede lang talaga tayo, hinding hindi kita pinakawalan.

****************************

Nung naramdaman kong prumeno ka na, at yung patapos na yung kanta. I held your hand and sang the last chorus.

++All I ask is
If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
'Cause what if I never love again++

I don't know what's in me, after i sang it you just leave, lumabas ka to breathe i saw your eyes parang na susuffocate, kilala kita in every move you make Dara, i know you since day one,it only took a short while to realize that I loved you, yet i can't move mountains, i can't love you that easily. You don't deserve me. Tiningnan lang kita sa swing habang nakatingala ka sa mga ulap just like the old times. 

Then i knew i pressed shuffle play on my playlist, yet I remembered it was OUR playlist and the next song played

Say you won't let go by James Arthur

I met you in the dark, you lit me up
You made me feel as though I was enough
We danced the night away, we drank too much
I held your hair back when
You were throwing up

*********flashback*******

Nung tayo lang dalawa naiwan sa dorm, kinatok mo ako kasi di ako lumalabas nung pagkatapos ng breakfast, natatawa nga ako kasi my mom wont be so worried for me because I have you, to check on me from time to time, Actually i'm not used to it kasi when i was still in abroad i'm used to live on my own, pero nung nakilala ko kayo, i realized it's okay naman pala to have you, guys  to open my little part of my life. Well, to be honest ikaw lang naman ata mas nakakakilala sakin. Like you know what do I really like,my wants....

"Chaerinaaaah~ open the door, i have foods here, samahan mo naman ako :(" 
"Ba't ang dami? Ikaw kakain lahat niyan? " 
"Baka papagalitan ka kami ni tita na pinapabayaan namin leader namin" 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
**thugug** 
Dara: AAAAAAAAARAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

Bigla akong lumabas ng room and to check on you. Then there i see your infectious smile that washed my cutesy charisma bc you look cuter than me. 

Dara: ay sorry, baby rin. Ayaw mo kasing lumabas, i just want to check kung buhay ka pa ba sa loob. Sge go on, balik ka na. 

///////////////////////////

Nung nabalitaan mong may tampuhan kami ng dad ko, even harin,kapatid ko went sa dorm to visit me. Kasi i tend to be so quiet and isolate myself more kung galit ako. 

"Ssandara-Unnie, i'm okay na really. Thank you. Balik ka na sa-" ani ko.

"Hush, kakasabi ko lang kay Harin na i'll be here until makakatulog ka okay? " sagot mo

"okay na kas-" pagtanggi ko

"alam mo my korean nickname "dal -ong" and "Dal" derived from the word 'moon' .. "

 tumingin ka sa ulap, my room was supposed to be yours kaso pinakiusapan kita, actually kami ni Bom, pero sakin ka lang umoo. Tumingin lang din ako sayo kung ano pa sasabihin mo... And ayun kasi, i want to see the skies din, alam mong gusto makita yung city lights lalo na sa gabi, kaya i know ibibigay mo tong room sakin.

" my korean Nickname diba is Dal-ong, darong idk my mom loved the moon, kapag matulog na siya she collected yung mga phases ng moon, and she said i was a light to them when I came.so let me be your light just for tonight , Chae?" 

********************************
Then you smiled over your shoulder
For a minute, I was stone-cold sober
I pulled you closer to my chest
And you asked me to stay over
I said, I already told ya
I think that you should get some rest

and there  i hurriedly hugged you from behind, namiss ko 'to. Ikaw , ako, nasa ilalim ng mga ulap kasabay sa silaw ng buwan at kislap ng mga tala, this was perfect. Then there i realized it was too late for me, for everything I loved you....I hope I wont be too late.

I knew I loved you then
But you'd never know
'Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go
I know I needed you
But I never showed
But I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old
Just say you won't let go
Just say you won't let go