[TW: Due to recent events in the Kpop community, Jinsol’s other mother has been changed to Hyoyeon. Also we have three warnings for this chapter:

1) There is a funeral/memorial flashback for the victims of the wolf attack. This was written months ago and we’ve kept it in. Please know this isn’t meant to replicate recent events. Funeral segment starts with “...And we hold our hearts to the many who have gone missing.”

2) This chapter goes in-depth with Jungeun’s anxiety/panic attacks and symptoms.

3) An abridged version of the wolf vs. human history includes non-consent. No Loona characters are directly harmed by this and the mention is to give context on the violence between wolves and humans.]

 

FORMAT AS FOLLOW: Italics - Past | Straight (but really gay) - Present

 

Six knocks.

Jiwoo and Sooyoung shared a look. If that was Hyejoo, this would be her fastest commute yet. Maybe she had changed dens.

Opening their front door a bit hesitantly, they didn’t expect to see the queen. Behind her a crowd of villagers kept their distance across the street, partaking in a rare occurrence of the queen out and about. Hyunjin reclined in her carriage driver bench, closing her helmet to catch up on much needed sleep. Even retired, ex-knight Sooyoung would know better than to let the queen fall into harm’s way.

(Hyunjin also had much to sort through internally.)

Jiwoo stepped outside but Jungeun didn’t make way.

As the crowd of people grew, getting closer to the queen, Jiwoo understood and let Jungeun in. Behind her, Sooyoung was quickly tidying up the place. Once Jungeun step foot inside, she planted herself on the bench, thumbing through Hyejoo’s notepad as if she wasn’t dusting at breakneck speed.

“Jungeun, this is a pleasant surprise. We weren’t expecting company.”

It was a surprise for Jungeun as well. This is the farthest she’s traveled in years, their shack was part of the newer developed housing projects expanding outward.

“Is Hyejoo around?” Jungeun looked around. Anywhere else a person would be in the dwelling was within visual range.

“She’s not back yet. We sent her out to run a few errands.”

“Oh I apologize. It’s just she’s missed the last couple days of school. I wasn’t sure if I scared her off.”

Jungeun could feel her heart racing again. She still wasn’t ready to be out. It was just Hyunjin outside to take care of her and Jiwoo and Sooyoung didn’t know her condition yet.

Since their return, it had been improving greatly but the slight scream she had when Hyunjin hit a bump in the road on the way here, pulling over to check the queen’s health, said otherwise.

Why couldn’t she be normal? Jungeun thought about herself.

“I can assure you Jungie,” the nickname slipping easily from Jiwoo’s lips. “You did not scare her off. It’s her...time of the month.”

Thank goodness they could use that excuse.

“May I wait here until she gets back,” Jungeun said.

Jiwoo immediately pushed her wife off the bench, kissing her quickly to apologize, to make room for the queen.

“May we offer you something to eat? Some strawberries and chocolate. They were a gift from…”

“Darling, we were going to use that for our date ni--”

“Hush you.”

”Yes dear.”

“You’re eating.”

Jungeun and Sooyoung - hiding her grumbling - looked at Jiwoo sweetly as she prepared a snack. It was hard to deny anything from Jiwoo.

---

“...And we hold our hearts to the many who have gone missing. May their souls find the way…” the presider preached.

Jungeun held a sobbing Yerim close against her chest, doing her best to shush the frazzled girl. Jinsol wrapped one arm around her wife, holding her together as well. They both wanted to grieve as well but the newly orphaned girl needed them more. 

Even Heejin was holding in her tears next to her but it was because Hyunjin had screamed at her earlier to leave her alone when she was struggling getting dressed that morning.

Hyunjin was nowhere in sight. She bolted as soon as the carriage stopped. Haseul and Vivi staying back to look for her.

Chaewon was sitting on Jungeun’s other side, copying her mother’s in rubbing Yerim’s back. She’d never seen so many people crying at once.

Almost every knight in the kingdom was here.

Even some knights from other kingdoms.

Wasn’t Hyejoo’s mom a knight too?

“Mommy, where’s Hyejoo?”

Jungeun bit her lip, not wanting to break the news to their daughter yet. Jinsol and her didn’t know if they could do it without crying. But they didn’t want to give anyone the job of telling her that Hyejoo probably wouldn’t be coming to anymore birthday parties.

Neither would Sooyoung and Jiwoo.

Jungeun held Yerim closer, trying to mask her sobs.

Jinsol squeezed her wife closer and told Chaewon and Heejin to come sit on her other side. People were staring at them. Were they judging how they cried? If they cried? Whose idea was it for the royals to sit in the first few rows? They were so clouded with grief, they couldn’t greet each other properly. Did Jungeun hug her aunt Taeyeon yet? Did she even look at her aunt Krystal at all?

She took a look at her wife.

This was the farthest she’s been away from the Jung castle after their marriage but it took a terrible event to coax her.

She closed her eyes until the ceremony was over.

Hyunjin had miraculously arrived in time to take Yerim from Jungeun. She must’ve watched it from afar. Haseul and Vivi gathered Chaewon and Heejin respectively. Bending over, Jinsol lifted her wife off her chair, ignoring the whispers around them, carried her the carriage, and didn’t let her go until they were safely home.

---

Jungeun had other duties to accomplish and Jiwoo promised she’d see Hyejoo at school the next day.

(Both lies. Jungeun was feeling a tightness in her chest that only Vivi could help her through and Jiwoo wasn’t sure if Hyejoo would be up for it tomorrow.)

Hyunjin didn’t react in time when a man shoved Jungeun against the carriage. His breath was rancid and eyes crusty, smiling dangerously in her face. He slapped his hands on both sides of her head, trapping her in-between.

Hyunjin flashbacked to that night with Haseul and tried to react accordingly. She gripped onto one of the carriage railings to keep her calm.

“Sir, let the queen go.”

“I’m not holding her,” the man hiccuped.

Jungeun, eyes tightened, waited for him to touch her or do whatever he wanted. This wasn’t the reason she avoided leaving the castle but it was a reason why she wouldn’t be coming down for a while.

Jiwoo and Sooyoung inched their way forward, trying to flank him on all sides. Seeing Jungeun like this brought back bad memories for them. Seeing Hyunjin hang her head in sadness rather than confusion meant she was used to this reaction. Jungeun hadn’t gotten over it since they lived together in the castle more than a decade ago.

Jungeun invented a happy place.

With Chaewon.

With Jiwoo and Sooyoung.

With Vivi and Haseul.

With Yerim, Hyunjin, Yeojin, and Heejin.

With her parents.

With Jinsol.

Succumbing to her fantasy, she let herself go. She was almost gone when in a blink of an eye, the man was tackled from view. A tornado of dust swirled around them at the force. When it settled, Hyejoo was holding the man with both arms behind his back.

Jungeun was impressed.

Hyunjin was intrigued.

Jiwoo and Sooyoung were petrified.

(So was Hyejoo.)

She tried reworking her stance so it would look like she was struggling. She didn’t miss the warning look in Jiwoo and Sooyoung’s eyes. But she wasn’t going to do anything hasty.

They weren’t going to move again.

Also, she was doing the town a favor.

Nobody liked him anyway.

If she was lucky, maybe this would help paint her family in better colors in the queen’s eyes which in turn would expedite her knight candidacy. And with the dreamlike eyes Jungeun was throwing her way, her wolf was doing her favors for once.

---

“I bet there’s purple fields out there.”

“I bet there’s people out there with frog heads. Imagine people's bodies but with frog heads.”

“I bet there’s houses with separate doors just for bunnies.”

“I bet there’s worlds out there where your peripheral vision is limited and you can only see one-third of the space in front of you. The rest of your vision is filled with black bars. And they call it portrait mode.”

Chaewon, Yeojin, Heejin, and Yerim giggled among themselves as they sat around Chaewon’s bed. Had to be around the bed because there was no way they could fit on it without clearing it of stuffed animals.

They were creating scenes of what the world outside the Jung castle would hold as they waited for Jungeun to bring up their lunch. She wanted to make a simple dish today and whatever the queen wants, she gets.

“You’re going to be so lucky that you’ll see it all one day Chae.”

“Who says I won’t bring you with me? I need a handmaiden...”

Yerim cheesed.

“....A cook...”

Heejin fist pumped.

(Fighting the memory of Hyunjin promising to show her the world years ago.)

“...And someone reckless enough to face any dangers headfirst.”

Yeojin high-fived herself.

“You’ll see. I’m going to be old enough and leave this castle finally.”

As they daydreamed, they were oblivious to Jungeun on the other side of the door - a tray of sandwiches and pastries scattered on the floor - holding a shaking hand over , crying at the world she couldn’t show her own daughter.

---

Jungeun groaned to herself as soon as she saw who was waiting for her at the castle doors.

Vivi and she never regarded their age difference much but sometimes, it was obvious Vivi was the oldest. Like now, when Vivi had her arms folded over her chest, tapping her foot impatiently.

But Hyunjin could only drive so fast.

When she disembarked, Hyunjin whispered a quick good luck before scurrying off.

“Before you begin, I simply went to Jiwoo and Sooyoung’s..”

Vivi didn’t care where Jungeun went. She was concerned she left the castle at all. Luckily, Hyunjin was with her even after going on a quick solo mission east a few nights ago, only returning this morning.

Seeing Jungeun with her tail between her legs, Vivi admonished her tough stance.

She was proud of Jungeun. Haseul and her wanted to chase after the departing carriage to wave goodbye. (Haseul wanted to break out the “welcome home” banner from years ago.) Even if the queen was visiting familiar people, she stepped outside the castle grounds. Progress was never linear. Vivi warned Chaewon, who wanted to pop champagne celebrating her mom going out, that one instance didn’t mean repeated ones. 

(When Chaewon found out about the drunkard attack, she regretted celebrating early.)

Vivi didn’t want to give Chaewon false hope.

Vivi didn’t want to give Jungeun false hope either.

---

“There’s no way to stop it?” Jinsol flopped onto the floor, even when Vivi and Sooyoung offered her a seat, concern etched on her brows.

This princess was very different than the many other suitors that visited.

Her carriage was waiting up front. She didn’t have plans of staying, taking the first carriage she saw when news of Jungeun’s disappearance broke out. Sooyoung and Vivi felt sorry that the princess wouldn’t get the chance to see Jungeun. But Jungeun was overwhelmed and Jinsol didn’t want to scare her even more.

Someone named Jiwoo was visiting early tomorrow and she sounded important.

“Maybe it was just a one time thing,” Sooyoung suggested. Jungeun had never been so animal-like before - like it wasn’t Jungeun in there at all.

Jinsol had yet to visit the princess who had finally cried herself to hopefully a restful sleep. She had snuck downstairs while Vivi and Sooyoung did whatever they did to stop the crying - unable to listen to it a minute longer.

Why did she run away?

What did she do wrong to make the princess run away?

The two looked up - Jinsol straining her neck from the floor - at the only person who could hopefully have answers: the castle physician.

Vivi didn’t know how frank she should be in this moment. There were limited materials for her to use to really know what was going on with Jungeun. And if anything was awry in the royal family, whether it be physical or mental health, the records did their best to sugarcoat it. It was easy to diagnose Jungeun’s back injury but the other symptoms?

The hallucinations.

The dissociating.

The shallow breathing.

The heart palpitations.

The inconsolable crying.

The twist in one’s stomach like something was wrong even if one couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

It was disorder no one - not even in the lower classes - liked to talk about.

And if a sovereign had it, it would be pushed away and denied. Or worse, given high doses of untested medicine so she could at least appear normal on the surface. 

“I hope so.”

---

Jungeun steadied herself on her triple-mirrored dresser before dinner.

She had asked Hyunjin to not disclose the events of the day. But that doesn’t mean people wouldn’t find out sooner or later. She didn’t want to give anyone more things to worry about.

It would only set them back on their lives.

The door creaked and a pair of heavy boots stepped inside.

“It’s me,” a voice husked, announcing her presence.

Jinsol did that every time.

(They learned the hard way. Once, Jinsol thought she was surprising Jungeun from behind but it ended in tears for both of them.)

Jinsol was too good for her. She accommodated too much just to make sure she had a normal wife. But she was far from it.

She was not well.

She couldn’t even leave the house for a full day.

When she felt strong hands on her shoulders working down her arms to encircle her, followed by a warm breath tickling her ear, Jungeun fell back into her wife’s comforting embrace.

“Like I said, I will always come back to you.”

Karmic.

When they first met, Jinsol felt like she didn’t deserve Jungeun.

Now Jungeun felt like she didn’t deserve Jinsol.

---

Jinsol fanned through their new textbooks. She figured they were from Teacher Tiffany; she was bribing her way in for job security.

(Or maybe to keep seeing her mother.)

Turning to page 394, she was confronted with a rough sketch of a werewolf. Jinsol paid the teacher no mind when she said not to skip ahead; she skimmed the next pages about the history of the beasts which were things she’d heard before:

“...Once half-breeds made well-esteemed knights…”

“...famine….”

“...lost control…”

“...ate human comrades…”

“...crucified…”

“...Rebellion against the royals…”

“...conversion of humanity…”

“...Exiled to the forests...”

“...kidnap humans to multiply wolf population…”

The next chapter covered witches - Haseul seemed more interested in that one - and Jinsol slammed her book shut.

She didn’t need the extortion from her mom’s other lover.

She also didn’t need the reminder that werewolves were monsters.

---

“Ha Hyejoo, daughter of Sooyoung and Jiwoo!”

The other Jung queen marched towards her, trudging boisterously and with purpose.

“Glad to see you around the castle again. How is school treating you?” Jinsol clasped her hand on Hyejoo’s back.

Quite hard.

Her mother was right, Jinsol did gain muscles since she last saw her.

“Very well Your Majes…Aunt Jinsol. How was your trip?”

Jinsol studied the girl in front of her. She was Chaewon’s junior but she looked like she could handle herself. (Not that Chaewon couldn’t.) From the praises she heard during dinner, the Ha daughter made the classroom more lively and the kids more behaved. Also partnered activities were much easier as she evened the numbers. (Much to Heejin and Hyunjin’s relief.)

And Jungeun had left the castle to visit her.

(No one had the heart to tell Jinsol the full story.)

“Same old. I space out during most of the meetings but I have to stay for the whole event. Can’t fall asleep during any of them or else I get called out. Apparently my signature’s important or something.”

Hyejoo couldn’t fight the smile. She sympathized, getting caught falling asleep at school during a timeout when she asked to literally do nothing.

Like her wife, the Jung’s aura was contagious.

(Also, like her daughter’s.)

Not that they treated her bad before but she felt like she was placed on a higher pedestal since attending school here. Even her nosy neighbors were giving her more respect than what was due. Her parents were showered with compliments on the regular.

It was like she was royalty.

---

“Ooof!”

Sooyoung grinned down at the queen she just threw down on the floor - not telling her where she had learned the move from - claiming victory once again. Jinsol was adamant in learning the ways of knighthood and Taeyang refused -

(“I’m not fighting a woman.”

“Your wife is a woman.”

“And I purposefully lose.”

“No you don’t.”)

Sooyoung was up for it. In a way, it boosted both of their egos. Sooyoung finally having an apprentice and Jinsol feeling like she could finally take on the beasts that murdered her wife’s parents in cold blood and almost deprived her of a marriage.

To the delight of their significant others, it gave these two a chance to bond. They would prefer less violence though.

(They were one to talk. Jiwoo and Jungeun slap-sparred every time they got the chance.)

“Enough! Get up!” One of them - who knows they were equally loud - stormed in.

“We were just rough housing, Jungeun.”

“Rough castling,” Jinsol corrected.

“You're right,” Sooyoung pulled Jinsol back up. “She’s improving immensely, Jungeun. Soon you won’t even need me. She can be your knight in shining armor.”

Jinsol grinned at Sooyoung talking her up.

(Sooyoung promised Jiwoo she would. The bubbly woman was now settling her things after moving to the castle last evening.)

But Jungeun didn’t absorb them as endorsements. Jungeun brushed off the dreamy look on Jinsol’s face - maybe she was flipped too many times and the blood was rushing to her head - no way was she actually looking at her like that. After all, she had an after-hours visitor every night.

An after-hours visitor with their high-pitched voice and their proper vocal training and their exemplary breath control.

How was Jungeun supposed to sleep with that racket?

It was a racket that made Jinsol happy. She should want Jinsol’s happiness; she gave her a chance to still be with her own friends and family. 

“I don’t need a knight in shining armor!”

---

“Hyejoo!”

Now that call Hyejoo knew was meant for her. She turned around at a smaller blonde stomping her way over.

Maybe rough-housing - or rough-castling Hyejoo came up in her mind, proud of her pun - ran in the family. The princess jabbed her in the shoulder and even with her pain tolerance, it hurt.

“Where have you been the last few days?”

Didn’t the girl ever hear about sick leave?

Looking down, she saw the same look when Chaewon was dressed to the nine’s. It was the same look she gave her when she returned after all these years. It was foolish of her to bid farewell to her parents before her cycle but not to the one girl who worried about her absence just as much.

“I’m sorry...”

Hyejoo hung her head.

“...Again.”

“Hey, it’s not significant, I was just worried about where you ran off to...”

The princess was worried about her?

“...I figured you were out with Hyunjin as a preliminary tryout but she came back earlier than you…”

The royal princess…

“...But then maybe I thought you were working the market or the wood shop…”

Made space in her mind…

“...but those were your mothers’ days off…”

To worry about..wait she remembered her schedule?

Hyejoo looked at the princess in a different light. It was too soon to be considered friends, she thought. The timeline of when one upgraded from an acquaintance to friend was hazy for her. This would be her first experience.

She wouldn’t lie too that she was familiar with the princess’ whereabouts. She purposefully entered the castle grounds on time to “run into” the princess so they can share the short walk to class.

(Vivi caught her posing awkwardly by the gargantuan betta fish statues. Maybe she should teach a lesson in how to be discreet.)

It was a small moment they shared but it made the rest of Hyejoo’s day brighter. Jinsol’s interlude took away that moment today but Chaewon was making up for it nicely.

“You remembered my mothers’ work schedules?”

Another poke in her shoulder.

“Only because we need to make up for lost time between us. We have yet to spend time together that doesn’t revolve about studying.”

“Well, I should be spending more time here.”

“And why is that?”

Chaewon liked having the upperhand in this conversation but didn’t mind Hyejoo taking over for a bit. But she was a fighter, always wanting the last word.

“I’m going to be...uh stationed as a knight...that is if I become one...not night like opposite of day...knight like Hyunjin...here in this castle where you live,” Hyejoo stuttered.

Whomever she inherited her useless-lesbianism from, Hyejoo was going to crush with her mattress.

---

Jinsol knocked different rhythms on the door, losing herself to the song she was creating.

She didn’t expect Jiwoo to open the door.

Oh right, Jungeun’s best friend was officially moved in as the queen’s official handmaiden. Jungeun got on fine without one - even Jinsol - but that was who Jiwoo was on paper.

Jungeun was blushing, recovering from a giggling fit on her bed. Half eaten bowls of snacks littered the bed and floor. Jungeun didn’t even like messes. She must’ve really liked Jiwoo’s company.

(Remember Jinsol, she’s only your wife on paper.)

Earlier that day, Jungeun stormed out of the training room, clearly peeved about something she did or something she said or maybe her in general. When she turned to Sooyoung for advice, all the other girl could do was shrug.

But when she came to apologize, she felt her heart shatter instead.

Jiwoo let out a knowing smile. Sooyoung disclosed what happened earlier as they unpacked her things.

“We were just discussing childhood crushes.”

“Ahhhhh,” Jinsol responded, wondering how to talk herself out of leaving. “How fun.”

“Not really. Jungeun doesn’t have many if any at all. I’m doing most of the talking here.”

Jungeun was embarrassed by her recent outburst, not meeting Jinsol’s eyes. Her best friend was helping her feel better by telling her of this ridiculous dating class she took when she was an adolescent. In order to get along with the boy she was paired with, apparently Jiwoo pretended he was a piece of fried chicken.

“What about you Jinsol?”

“What...about me?” Jinsol asked.

Jungeun must’ve really hated her. She hadn’t looked her way once.

“Any crushes?”

“A few.”

“....And?” Jiwoo resisted the urge to shove both of them into Jungeun’s walk-in closet and let fate play. She had only been there for twelve days and she was exasperated at this game Jinsol and Jungeun didn’t know they were participants in.

Sooyoung already proposed to her in her time here and these two were far from acknowledging their feelings of attraction.

“Nothing transpired.”

But then again the two didn’t even know Sooyoung and her were official either. Jinsol thought they were really good friends.

“That’s too bad. If I may say so myself Your Majesty, you’re quite the catch,” Jiwoo flirted.

The offended jaw drop Jungeun gave and the blush Jinsol radiated meant they were getting somewhere.

They just needed an extra push.

---

She was gone for five days and somehow all the Jungs wanted her attention.

Jungeun stopped her before she could enter the classroom.

Chaewon stared her mom down as she plucked Hyejoo from her arm.

Hyejoo apologized again for not being home when Jungeun visited the day before. Maybe if she was home earlier, the attack wouldn’t have happened. But the queen told her to stop with a wag of her finger, saying there were more pressing matters.

Before she knew it, Hyejoo had her arms up in the air - reminding her when they were up for a younger Jung - for uniform measurement.

Hyejoo didn’t even get summoned yet.

But Jungeun was so sure she would get the job.

Coming from a knight family, even with one knight, was advantageous to the selection process. And when Jungeun looked out the window when Haseul or Vivi had the girls learn archery or fencing or basic combat - they should really find a professional to teach that - Hyejoo had it down pat.

If Hyejoo was stationed at the castle, it would bring them all together once again.

And maybe with Hyejoo and Hyunjin out on duty, maybe Jinsol would be home more.

---

Jinsol looked left.

Jinsol looked right.

Jinsol looked up above her to make sure.

Then her eyes scanned the journal in front of her. None of her textbooks had gone into such detail so this was brand new information. None of her board meetings with the head knights of her kingdom and the neighboring kingdoms had been so thorough.

But as her eyes skimmed diagram upon diagram of the anatomy of a werewolf, she felt like a whole new world opened up for her.

“Aunt Jinsol?”

Jinsol froze and turned to see Hyunjin looking at her curiously, wondering what the queen wanted to see in her notebook. She had gone for a quick carbohydrate (bread) break before brushing up on her notes.

“I am terribly sorry for this.”

“No, no, it’s your castle. You may do as you please.”

“Now we both know I’m not that kind of queen.”

Jinsol was right. What other queen offered a separate sleeping quarters to her wife? Or asked to transfer her wife’s favorite employees? Or made counting the fish in their ponds an actual job?

“May I ask what you were looking at?” Hyunjin hoped her handwriting wasn’t too messy. She did draw most of those balancing her notebook on her knees while they set up camp a few kilometers from Exoland.

“The ways to stop a werewolf.”

“Ah, well…” and as Hyunjin explained everything - their weaknesses, their flaws, their sleeping patterns - Jinsol felt like she gained insight into a world she had been denied.

It wasn’t proper for a queen to know these things.

So it came as a surprise when Jinsol asked for Hyunjin to ask Minho if she could accompany her on a raid - what queen even asked, she could just go - being the first royal to do so.

Jinsol was right; she was not like any other queen.

---

Having made the rounds greeting the castle staff, Jinsol looked around her office.

Her stack of portfolios in her bottom drawer - one purposefully slanted so she knew if anyone paid her space a surprise visit - left in the same position as normal. If Jinsol pursued higher education, she would’ve been quite the scholar. In her folders, a compilation of almost a decade of hard work and research. Slamming the drawer shut, she resumed her work, catching up on the developments in her own kingdom.

“You wanted to see me, Auntie?”

Jinsol closed her folder calmly, pushing it to the side and waited for her right-hand woman to stand before her.

“How is your vacation?” Jinsol asked, hoping the girl got her much needed rest.

“Could be shorter,” Hyunjin smirked.

She was still buzzing by what she witnessed in the woods a few days ago but wasn’t sure what to do with that information yet. And the one person she could turn to with inquiries about werewolves was in front of her.

But she was also the new girl’s unrelated aunt.

“I heard you left the castle,” Jinsol continued, oblivious to Hyunjin’s predicament.

Does she play dumb or…

“...I hope no trouble came accompanying Jungeun.”

Each secret she kept deepened the chasm that was developing between her and Jinsol. Their entire connection was built on one lie after another. She turned away from each of Jungeun’s breakdowns and turned away whenever Jinsol took a solo detour on their mission.

(“She doesn’t need to know that,” they would tell everyone in the castle.)

“There was one drunkard but Hyejoo fixed him up.” 

That seemed like a suitable response. She was more scared of Jinsol than Jungeun right now and eventually, Jinsol would’ve found out.

“Hyejoo?” The blonde leaned forward on her desk, not expecting this detail. “She never told me anything about that.”

“She was probably shy, Your Majesty. She doesn’t want any favoritism when it comes to knight summoning.”

Especially since you’re part of the selection team.

“I believe you’re right,” Jinsol said and excuse Hyunjin to enjoy her rest. Without homework or missions, Hyunjin could relax to her heart’s content.

That was the first time in years Hyunjin called Jinsol “Your Majesty” in private.

Opening her bottom drawer, Jinsol flipped through her research once more.

---

Jinsol was in tears when she found out she lost her custom earmuffs.

One of the towns’ sheep herders made it for her for her fifteenth birthday and she lost them.

Getting down on the floor, she crawled among the castle, bumping her head only four times. She touched carpeted floor which meant…

She was in her mother’s office.

Knowing they couldn’t be there, she got up to dust her knees off but hit her head quite hard, forcing her to crouch back down to regain her balance.

A sultry laugh entered the room. She wedged herself in the chair space underneath her mom’s desk until it was safe to come out. She used to hide there before when she was smaller so maybe her body would fit again.

A body was thrown on the desk, folders and bottles and paper weights shoved to the floor.

Were her moms fighting again? It had gotten to the point where they'd hurl furniture at the other.

A scarf was unravelled and Jinsol caught sight of it floating to the floor. But her mothers didn’t own garments like that.

It was too pink.

“Shhhhhh, you need to keep your voice down,” Jessica whispered against her lover’s lips.

Maybe her mom was branding someone - an outdated form of torture - on their neck that would explain the clothes coming off.

Anything other than what she couldn’t believe to be true.

Tiffany shut herself up using Jessica’s lips.

Jinsol wished she had those earmuffs now. Luckily, she would crawl out before things got out of hand.

---

Hyejoo wrung her washcloth, watching the water go down the sink. She remembered when they lived in a cottage where the nearest bathroom was outside. When they reemerged to society after she learned control, proper drainage systems were implemented. Thank goodness for technology.

Jiwoo was cooking up a meal with the leftover venison Hyejoo brought home. One of the advantages was Hyejoo being able to give them meat after each of her transformations. It made up for her parents worried over her each time she left.

(Especially Sooyoung even if she didn’t want to admit it.)

“We’re proud of you.” Jiwoo said, knowing she could pick up her voice in their tiny bathroom.

Another advantage of being a werewolf.

“Huh?” Hyejoo yelled as she overturned the basin in their bathroom.

“Your mother and I are proud you had control with that village oaf. You’ve been doing well, Hyejoo.”

Hyejoo sheepishly exited the bathroom and helped her mother carry the pot to the table, thanking her for the compliment. Jiwoo didn’t miss the opportunity to hug her daughter from behind, giving her an onslaught of compliments and asking about her day. Hyejoo recounted her day at school, how the queens told her they would do everything in their favor to get her stationed at the castle.

(“You’re really going to be a knight?!”

“Yes, Mom. Ack, you’re choking me.”)

Sooyoung walked in on the sight and hugged Hyejoo from the front, riling her up for the hell of it. She would never admit how emotionally high-strung she was whenever their child left during the full moons. But her family knew. Especially when she’d shower Hyejoo with affection after every return.

Like now.

The two proud mothers laughed as Hyejoo growled - a sound they used to fear but found adorable whenever Hyejoo did it at their affection.

Kissing Hyejoo’s cheek and Sooyoung’s lips - Hyejoo growled again - Jiwoo couldn’t be more proud of her two knights.

---

Sooyoung looked at the card. Flipping it over and back again.

She was reading it right.

A knight card with an “R” standing for “Royal”. Strange as royals didn’t usually partake in battle, staying in the safety of the strategizing room (and annoyingly taking credit for big wins) so they must have invented this new ranking. She was probably the only one to have it due to her high ranking.

Hyejoo was sleeping soundly on the other side of the bed, her body heat keeping the Ha couple snug and cozy. Jiwoo had shown Sooyoung the deck Hyejoo brought home after a filling dinner that their daughter bought with the rest of her winnings.

Jinsol was a knight.

Jinsol was a knight with a fifty-four wolf kill stat.

They’ve heard the stories but now seeing it in writing, squinting at the text so they wouldn’t waste oil relighting their lamp, it was clear as day. Er, night. Knight?

Things must’ve gotten bad for a royal to risk their life. For their former best friend to put her life on the line.

Jiwoo snuggled closer to her wife as they looked at Jinsol’s stoic portrait again, trying to find the sweet goofball that used to laugh heartily at the simplest of jokes.

Hyejoo was almost seventeen and her last fourteen transformations happened smoothly. She found a secure spot far away that her mothers and she helped make “homely.” And she came back unscathed and with her knapsack filled with food for them to eat. Besides the hiccup today with the arm wrestling tournament, Hyejoo was more than ready to live with other people. She just needed the push. Maybe they could find an academy that accepted late bloomers.

“What’s on your mind?”

“She’s different.”

“It’s just a card, love.”

“No, not Jinsol. Hyejoo.”

Jiwoo looked behind her shoulder to see Hyejoo fast asleep, hopefully blessed with good dreams to keep her in peace for long.

“Sweetheart, she’s still the same,” Jiwoo tucked herself back into Sooyoung’s side, trying to help her relax so she could sleep longer. As soon as she saw the Jinsol card - Hyejoo shoving it into her face asking “Isn’t this Chaewon’s mom?” - Sooyoung remained stiff throughout dinner.

They had a long shift tomorrow.

And the next day.

And the next day.

“She’s different than the uncontrolled wolf she was before. No fights, no blood, no temper tantrums. No wait-- She did try to hurl a flower pot at the neighbor,” Sooyoung thought aloud, hugging Jiwoo close to her.

(The neighbor insulted Jiwoo so for Sooyoung, the flower pot incident was justified.)

With the changes that were happening around them, one thing stayed constant: their longing for home.

Seeing Jinsol again, it was enough to bring a nostalgia back for the two former Jung castle residents. Sooyoung had much on her mind about how much Hyejoo has grown; she needed to get this out because her wife deserved rest.

So did she.

“Darling, I think it’s time we go back to the Jung kingdom.”

Jiwoo inhaled sharply. She had wanted to go home for years and knew Sooyoung had too. But they didn’t want to make Hyejoo push herself to be “normal” just for them. She was never going to be normal and they accepted that. There had been zero mishaps of anyone finding out Hyejoo’s identity. They even lived next to a group of knights for months and no one was none the wiser.

Hyejoo woke up to the murmurs of her mothers but kept quiet. She always knew they wanted something more even if they lived a fulfilling life. If they asked her to move, especially to a place near and dear to them, she’d say yes. She could come up with excuses each time she went out. She could find a new hideout. She could build another cage for herself.

She was terrified of the queen and her right-hand but with the right amount of attention, she could maybe change their minds.

Or maybe her mother can. Everyone loved her.

A kiss was shared between her mothers and for once, Hyejoo didn’t grimace.

Instead, a gnawing pain of guilt ate at her.

“Get some sleep. We have to convince Hyejoo tomorrow before work.”

Hyejoo didn’t need any convincing.

She didn’t want to hide anymore.

She didn’t want her parents to go through life without seeing their best friends one last time.

She didn’t want to break her promise to Chaewon.

And maybe someone in the Jung kingdom would accept her for who she truly was.

---

If one didn’t know any better, it was a triple date.

Having set up three wicker benches and a table in the gazebo, the older generation of the Jung castle, along with former staff, spent their lunch hour together.

The other castle dwellers (and a Hyejoo) took advantage of the weekend and slept in. Hyejoo was planning on spending the day with her labyrinths but Chaewon invited her for lunch. And for their age group, lunch on the weekend started in the afternoon.

Sooyoung and Jiwoo planned on walking with her but got too excited - well one of them was b with excitement - and dashed to the castle with fresh fruit from the market.

Haseul and Vivi had made spicy rice cakes at the crack of dawn, which was supposed to be for them, but Haseul saw Jiwoo sprinting up the hill - leaving Sooyoung staggering with all the baskets - and declared a picnic.

Vivi sighed lightly and agreed.

Jungeun and Jinsol brought out their finest wine in their lack of preparation - having slept in themselves.

Their ages didn’t erase their childishness at hearts. The three born within the same year commenced with a vaudeville charade. That left Jungeun, Jiwoo, and Vivi highly amused at their antics.

“Ahhh for table three?” Sooyoung swayed in, the plate of rice cakes slanting dangerously as she strutted. Jiwoo smushed her cheeks together, ignoring the attractiveness of her wife for fear that the food will fall.

“That table right there.” Haseul stood on the side, telling the pretend server where to go.

There was only one table, Vivi mused in her head.

Jinsol finished pouring out wine, creating her own sound effects as if the bottle was muted, and asked who ordered the massage.

“We don’t sell massages here,” Haseul grumbled.

Sooyoung and her shared a look. Jinsol always did this. They would all hang out and she’d superfocus on one person.

(“Not my fault you don’t have a beautiful wife,” Jinsol argued each time, making Jungeun blush all over.

Sooyoung would repeat the same sentence later.

Haseul needed to catch up.)

Before any of the three confused women could answer, Jinsol scooted behind Jungeun to pay attention to her fair maiden. Her fingers surprised with all the tension they found there.

“I’ll have what she’s having,” Jiwoo pointed in Jungeun’s direction.

Sooyoung relented - arms tired from delivering fruits - and got right to it. She opened so Jiwoo could feed her as payment. The carpenter winked as she took a bite from a strawberry, making Jiwoo giggle in her embrace.

Vivi smiled when she felt the only empty pair of hands on her shoulders, not wanting to be upstaged by the others.

She didn’t even need to ask.

---

“Good evening Haseul and Jungeun,” Jinsol acknowledged.

She heard talking outside her door and wanted to tell them to tone it down. It reminded her too much of her parents arguing loudly when they thought she was sleeping.

What she didn’t expect was to see Haseul and Jungeun.

Together.

She thought Jungeun was interested in Jiwoo. But Jungeun looked like she was caught in a trap.

“IT’S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!” Haseul defended, pushing away from the both of them.

(Jiwoo and Sooyoung had joined Vivi listening in on the stairwell and the original Kim castle representatives face palmed.)

Before Haseul could speak her piece, she was dragged down into the stairwell, leaving the wives who were acting like strangers standing in the hallway.

Jungeun wanted to apologize for her behavior earlier.

Jinsol wanted to apologize for ruining her time with Jiwoo.

Jungeun wanted to apologize for giving Jinsol the wrong impression.

Jinsol wanted to apologize for overstepping her boundaries.

Jungeun wanted to apologize for not being the most honest of wives.

Jinsol wanted to apologize for putting high expectations on their relationship.

(Vivi and Sooyoung were using much of their strength to keep Jiwoo from marching up there and mediating the conversation herself. It had been a whole thirty seconds and the queens haven’t said a word.)

“I’m sorry--”

“No I’m sorry, no you go.”

“No you go.”

“It’s your castle.”

“Yours too.”

“Right.”

“Jungeun…”

“Yes?”

“My behavior earlier, I would like to apologize for. I never meant to doubt your own self defense. You have a knight. That’s what Sooyoung is for.” Jinsol found the floor fascinating at the moment.

The past few days, Haseul has been coaching her to confess to Jungeun by singing her different love songs throughout the centuries. Jinsol was never good with words so Haseul said people used to serenade their crushes outside their windows.

(“Haseul, her window is too high.”)

It was comforting. How could it not be when Haseul sounded like an angel? Jinsol was learning there were different ways to word her feelings rather than her default “wow.” She felt like tonight would be the night but today’s events set her back.

“No, Jinsol. It’s not that. I just don’t want you to feel like you need to defend me,” Jungeun almost reached out for her hands.

Almost.

She’s never stared at Jinsol for so long before. God, she was so beautiful. Jiwoo and Sooyoung and Vivi were right. She really lucked out on her marriage.

“But you’re my wife.”

That was the first time Jinsol addressed them as such in private. It was always “Jungeun” or “Your Majesty.”

“And I’m yours.”

Jinsol’s neck snapped to make sure she wasn’t hearing things. Did Jungeun just call her her wife?

(Sooyoung held a hand over her fiance's mouth to keep her from squealing out loud. Vivi was doing the same to Haseul.)

“...And the thought of you getting hurt scares me,” Jungeun confessed.

If Jinsol ever had to suffer what she went through, what she was going through, what Vivi still didn’t have answers to, it would break her. In that moment, Jungeun realized why she took so long to be this vulnerable with Jinsol.

Jinsol only knew what people told her about herself. Her surface qualities. She knew small tidbits about her childhood and her interests - it was sweet when Jinsol was curious. But did Jinsol know that she sometimes cried herself to sleep at night? That she woke up drenched in sweat? That if she was in the woods too long, she felt like the oxygen around her vanished?

(Jinsol knew and whenever Vivi left Jungeun’s door ajar, Jinsol would too. The physician not-so-secretly camped out in their shared office and whenever she’d run to Jungeun’s rescue, Jinsol would pathetically cover her head with pillows to block out the noises of Jungeun suffering.) 

No, because if Jinsol knew that, then she would know that she married someone that wasn’t the Kim Jungeun people raved about. Her chic idol image was a farce. With all the effort Jinsol has put in, she couldn’t disappoint her. She couldn’t show her that her wife was not the woman she expected.

“Does it hurt as much as I do when I know that you still suffer from your attack alone?” Jinsol admitted.

(Why didn’t any of Haseul’s ballads cover the angst of witnessing your wife break down nights in a row?)

Jinsol saw Jungeun clam up and tried to think of what to say. All she wanted was for Jungeun to trust her. She knew she loved Jungeun and if the feelings were one-sided, she would face it. She just wanted the pain to stop. Even if it meant getting rid of all werewolves. (Well hiring someone to do that. She wasn’t as equipped to take on such a task.)

“I want to be ready if that ever happened to you again,” Jinsol backtracked. “Not that I’m thinking it will-- What a terrible thing for me to say. But I want to be prepared. Like having a helmet when you joust.”

(Haseul and Jiwoo’s screams were muffled.)

“Let me in, Jungeun,” Jinsol said with such a soft intensity, Jungeun felt her breath escape her.

Jinsol was sure hers left as well.

“I just want to be a good wife to you.”

“You already are.”

That night, when Jungeun woke up in a cold sweat, they shared their first kiss: Jinsol brushing her lips sweetly to Jungeun’s temple. She whispered sweet nothings and rubbed her back to help Jungeun fall asleep again.

And fall in love with Jinsol for the first time.

---

“Hi, honey!” Sooyoung and Jiwoo waved obnoxiously to Hyejoo climbing the castle steps.

Hyejoo shielded her face with one hand, pretending that the right side of her vision did not exist. Chaewon, dressed a little too fancy for a weekend, poked her head out the doors and waved back, making Jiwoo and Sooyoung wave harder at the princess. Jinsol and Jungeun joined but Chaewon copied Hyejoo’s earlier movement and pretended that her parents didn’t exist.

Kids.

“If Hyejoo gets into the knight program, there is a chance she could be stationed here,” Jungeun shrugged.

“Why does that not surprise me?” Jiwoo laughed, taking a bite off a strawberry, pouting when Sooyoung finished it off for her, winking as she did so.

“She’s pretty good at archery I’ve heard,” Jinsol contributed.

“She’s decent,” Sooyoung downplayed, kissing her pouting wife. They had to pass Hyejoo off as normal until after her training.

“I’ve heard Hyejoo can shoot five bullseyes in a row,” Jinsol defended her friend’s daughter.

“That’s nothing. Chaewon can shoot ten on horseback,” Sooyoung shot back.

“I’ve heard that Hyejoo can do labyrinth mazes blindfolded.”

“Nothing like Chaewon who can start a fire without flint.”

“Are they bragging about each other’s children?” Haseul whispered to her seatmate whom she hasn’t stopped massaging. Jinsol and Sooyoung had stopped two wine glasses ago.

“I believe so,” Vivi said, feeling much lighter. She knew it wasn’t the alcohol.

Jungeun and Jiwoo put a stop to their wives arguing - making them apologize - which was puzzling but adorable. They settled back into their seats as they heard a ruckus in their kitchen and the sound of someone having a coughing fit.

“This is nice isn’t it?” Jiwoo spoke up, getting the attention of the circle of friends - hoping Jungeun and Jinsol could hear her over their nose kissing. “Us hanging out like old times.”

“You know what else would remind me of old times?” Sooyoung grinned.

“Oh are you looking for a challenger?” Jinsol reacted quickly.

“Sweetheart, you just got back from your trip,” Jungeun tugged Jinsol down. She was not done nuzzling her.

(It terrified her how clingy she was getting. How was Jinsol not annoyed with her by now?)

Haseul and Vivi cleared the plates, knowing what was to come.

Haseul had to fetch the equipment.

Vivi had to get her first aid kit ready.

Sooyoung would have to ask for an extra suit.

Jinsol needed to warm up.

Jungeun and Jiwoo were in-between wanting to watch or put a stop while it’s early. Whenever Sooyoung and Jinsol got fired up, there was no telling how it would end.

The royal queen and the ex-knight were about to have a fencing bout.

 

 

NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE: NEXT FULL MOON

Q (ourtuneisohigh): Lipsoul Nation make some noise! It's about time we got Jinsol home and an unnie line scene and they honestly write themselves. I apologize for anyone hurt reading Jungeun's exposition but I won't hurt her too much. Maybe. (N won't let me.) What're your predictions of what'll happen during Sooyoung and Jinsol's fencing match? Thanks so much for reading and all your support. Twitter | CC

N (LazyNinja on ao3): This chapter hit differently after recent events so we made the warning. Hope you are okay and if you need to talk please shoot us a message. Taking care of your mental health is a daily struggle, do your best. Hope you enjoyed Jinsoul returning home and more family moments. Let us know what you want from the fencing bout coming up~ Thanks again for reading. Take care. Twitter | CC