FORMAT AS FOLLOW: Italics - Past | Straight (but really gay) - Present

 

“Keep your voice down.”

“You didn’t keep your voice down when you were giggling at whatever the dancer said all last night! I didn't think you were capable of laughing.”

“I could say the same to you with her teacher!”

“Moms?”

Jinsol rubbed her sleepy eyes as she opened the door to her chambers. Outside, the only source of light was the full moon and the twinkling of scattered stars. It was too early for her to be up for her morning classes.

Jessica and Hyoyeon swallowed the rest of their overdue conversation to appear like the happily married couple they were supposed to be in front of their daughter.

Their daughter that was still saddened from yesterday afternoon’s events meeting her future spouse. Their bright-eyed child was b with joy when the Kim carriage pulled up, eager to meet who she would be spending the rest of her life with. She wanted to do better than her mothers’ loveless marriage. So Jinsol was doing her best to be optimistic - an easy task when her fellow schoolmate was the warm Haseul.

When she met Jungeun, she knew it wouldn’t be hard to fall in love with her. She was already smitten.

Kim Jungeun was not as receptive.

(Jessica and Hyoyeon wondered if maybe Jungeun and Jinsol were switched at birth as the brunettes reaction was very similar to theirs when they met each other.)

“Sorry, sweetheart,” Jessica ignored Hyo’s scoff. “Go back to bed.”

“Are you fighting?”

“No.”

“Of course not.”

But the hollowness in their responses was all Jinsol needed to hear. Despite her optimism, she inherited that monotone empty tone they used as well as their cold aura.

A young Taeyang raced up the stairs, his heavy boots echoing through the halls, panting but with urgency in his sharp eyes.

Jessica and Hyoyeon turned to the knight-in-training who probably lost a bet to deliver a message to them. Everyone knew a message to the Jung couple past sunset would not be received well. Even Jinsol knew not to tell her moms anything when it was bedtime.

“What is it?”

Taeyang darted his eyes to the younger Jung, not sure if his announcement was age-appropriate. Especially since someone who the young girl will be involved with later was the subject of the message.

“She will be queen one day,” Hyoyeon rationalized. “Let her hear the message.”

Jessica appreciated her wife’s hardheaded stance - one of the few things she liked about her - and held onto Jinsol’s hand, nodding for the young ingenue to press on.

“The Kim kingdom’s heir, Kim Jungeun, she’s gone missing.”

Jinsol couldn’t breathe.

Jessica squeezed her daughter’s hand and Hyoyeon reached over to squeeze her shoulder.

“Reports say she ran away.”

---

“Happy birthday sweetheart,” Jungeun uttered, brushing back her daughter’s golden hair away from her face.

It took a while to find her daughter in her mountain of stuffed animals, multiplying throughout the years. Ever giving she donated the ones she absolutely didn’t need but even then it was a lot. But once Jungeun spotted the lone grey toy, she found her daughter’s sleeping face next to it.

“Postpone my birthday, I want to sleep more..”

Jungeun raised an eyebrow as it sounded similar to a response her wife would’ve said if she woke up beside her this morning.

The door creaked open beside her.

“Oh, I apologize. I didn’t know you would be doing Chaewon's wake up call Auntie,” Yerim bowed.

Jungeun offered the handmaiden a warm smile, contradicted by her aggressive slaps on Chaewon’s body to get the sleeping beauty out of bed.

“It’s alright Yerim. You can help the other ladies set the table for breakfast.”

Another violent slap.

“Alright. Alright. I’m up. No need to flatten me,” the teenager groaned, kicking stuffed animals away so she had a clear path out of bed.

But she made no effort to follow through.

Jungeun made sure to hit her again - softer this time - for good measure.

“Mom, I’m up!”

Jungeun knew better. She had to stay in the room until Chaewon was out of bed or else she would not be down until lunch.

Chaewon opened one eye to see her mother glaring at her from above. Huffing, she left her bed to begin her morning rituals, first smoothing out her bedhead. Feeling her mother take the brush from her, she settled into her dresser chair as her mom groomed the new adult.

“Mom, I’m eighteen today.”

“You are.” Jungeun bent down to kiss her the top of her daughter’s head.

“Has Mom made it back yet?”

“Not yet,” Jungeun tried to hide her disappointment but her daughter was perceptive and Chaewon didn’t bring her absent mother up again.

---

“And this would be your sleeping chambers.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Where you go to sleep?” Haseul clarified, unsure if maybe they used different terminology in the Kim kingdom.

Jung Jungeun - her new name - furrowed her eyebrows. It was customary to share the same room with your spouse on the night of your marriage. It was tradition. They have already followed tradition up until this point so why was Jinsol breaking it now?

Excusing Haseul, Jungeun walked into her room to see it all her things settled in. Her bed was definitely big enough for two people - even more.

Where was Jinsol going to sleep?

“Ah, I see you have found your room. Everything is satisfactory I hope? I can tell Taeyang and his company to move furniture if the set up is not to your liking,” Jinsol said, having changed into her sleeping garments.

Jungeun had never seen such a casual look on Jinsol. She looked approachable. Friendly even. How could she not be?

Jinsol had been nothing more than polite the entire ceremony. Asking her if the food was okay, the music to her liking, the volume enough, even if her outfit was okay (having backup outfits upstairs if Jungeun didn’t like it). Jungeun thought these acts were to ease her way into the marriage but Jinsol hadn’t set foot in her room, leaning against her door frame as she surveyed her handiwork.

“I’ll be sleeping here?”

“Yes, is that...to your liking?”

The hundredth time Jinsol has asked that question today.

Jungeun couldn’t say no. The sleeping chambers were almost similar to her old room. The new Jung wasn’t sure why but her stomach flipped - probably all the food she ate downstairs - at the thought of Jinsol going as far as to copying her room’s layout to make her feel more at home. But she shook the thought away easily.

Jinsol was just being polite.

“Yes, thank you,” Jungeun wasn’t sure if she was to invite Jinsol in.

This was her castle after all. Jungeun was the guest. Jinsol could step in if she pleases.

“Well, I’ll be off to bed,” Jinsol declared, louder than intended.

Jungeun stepped aside so Jinsol could claim a side of the bed. It was the least she could do if Jinsol had to sleep in an exact replica or her old bedroom. Maybe Jinsol was being polite to call it “her room” to grant her the agency she’d been deprived of.

But Jinsol wished her good night and left Jungeun to sleep in her new room alone.

---

“How do you manage to beat me every time?”

“Simple, I become one with the horse.”

“That is the most idiotic statement I’ve ever heard.”

“Do you hear the phrases you say Auntie?”

Hyunjin and Jinsol dismounted their steeds - Jinsol swatting Hyunjin’s armored stomach - as they led their horses to a much needed water break near the creek. Collapsing beside each other, the two were racing to the spot.

As usual, the seneschal won every time.

Hyunjin closed her eyes and soaked up the sun, letting the jobs of the past few days settle in.

Jinsol and Hyunjin were quite a duo to be reckoned with. Since the uprising of wolf attacks in all the lands, they became part of a coalition to end the vicious species once and for all. Head Knight Minho led his own troops but even then, he couldn’t beat the queen and the second-in-command. (It was inevitable Hyunjin would be Head Knight one day but she was not of age when the position opened so they transplanted someone from their allies the Choi kingdom.)

No matter.

Hyunjin’s records were better than Head Knight material. But she stayed seneschal until he retired or transferred.

(“Schnitzel?” Yeojin asked when learning the knighthood ranks.

“Seneschal,” Hyunjin corrected. “It means second-in-command.”

“Your title’s longer than your name.”)

Jinsol and her kill counts surmounted past levels unimaginable. So have the bids for their acts of service. They rode day and night, staking out dens and slaughtering the beasts they found in each of the other kingdoms near and far. No one actually witnessed these acts but when the first royal took the knight crest, people attributed every kill to her and Hyunjin.

They were heroes.

While Hyunjin relaxed - deserving it after beheading a werewolf who expertly won the hearts of his town with trickery only to be discovered with the head knight’s observations of their erratic twitching - Jinsol observed the ground they were on.

For Hyunjin, it was revenge.

For Jinsol, it was redemption.

If Vivi could properly diagnose them, she would say the both of them had gone a little mad. Never resting, never questioning, never second guessing. It didn’t help that Hyunjin never backed down from a challenge and Jinsol kept true to her word that she would find out what happened to her and her wife's childhood friends those years back.

But their sweet personalities weren’t erased. Like now, they were racing back to the castle for Chaewon’s birthday. But they were on duty until then.

“You see those?”

Hyunjin took in one last breath before donning her heroine persona.

“Wolf tracks.”

Hyunjin and Jinsol stared down at the prints, Jinsol getting up follow their trail, hand trained on her sword. Pushing her body aches aside, Hyunjin took the lead. Even if Jinsol was on high alert, Hyunjin’s tracking was better tuned.

She was thankful for that as it kept her on the job, not wanting to think about the day her hypersenses got the worst of her.

(And when Jinsol almost let her go indefinitely.)

“They’re old.”

Hyunjin resheathed her sword.

“Those bristles wedged into them are from trees that shed months ago.”

Hyunjin counted a few seconds for Jinsol’s anger to dissipate - sometimes it took more strength than needed to snap Jinsol out of it - and then heard the resheathing of her sword as well.

---

Jungeun and Jinsol were going on their very first stroll together in the Jung garden. Having woken up in bed alone, still thinking Jinsol, her wife now, would be beside her, Jungeun decided that she needed some answers. Even at the distance they were at - at least five feet apart because they weren’t really married - Jungeun could admire Jinsol’s profile in the daylight.

Had her jawline always been that sharp?

“..Was your sleep pleasant?”

“Yes it was.”

“And breakfast?”

“Yes it was.”

“The water Haseul drew for your bath to your liking?”

“Yes, Jinsol, I am extremely satisfied with my stay here.”

“Good good,” Jinsol nodded.

Jungeun caught Jinsol fist pumping herself - an act she had only seen knights do after winning fencing matches - and giggled.

Jinsol swallowed hard.

She hadn’t heard Jungeun laugh in a long time. When they met, Jungeun barely spoke more than ten syllables to her. And their meetings after that were heavy with the trauma that followed Jungeun’s running away from home. When Jinsol thought Jungeun was warming up to her, the Kim kingdom underwent a huge upheaval of power and destruction, rushing their marriage. Jinsol was sure Jungeun would hate her even more now. So she was doing everything in her power to try to make Jungeun happy.

Which is why Jinsol allowed Jungeun to bring the staff she wanted with her to the castle.

Another break from tradition.

Much like them sleeping in separate rooms.

“If you want, we can invite Jiwoo up here too?”

Jinsol knew Jiwoo was not part of the castle staff but Jungeun was always so happy around Jiwoo.

“Really?” Jungeun’s eyes lit up at the thought.

She had forgotten why she asked Jinsol on this stroll, overjoyed at the thought of Jiwoo living with her.

(She knew Sooyoung would like it too if Jiwoo was around more.)

Thinking of how generous Jinsol has been to not only invite her staff but staff’s family as well, two toddlers rushed past them. One from her kingdom, the other from Jinsol’s.

 

Well, now both from her kingdom.

“Tag, you’re it Queen Jinsol!” Hyunjin gave out a toothy smile.

Heejin, new to the castle grounds, couldn’t believe Hyunjin just touched the queen. Jungeun and her would play as well but she was always told to ask before making Jungeun a participant in any of her games.

“May I play with them?” Jinsol asked while she looked towards her new wife, allowing her to process her suggestion. She’d have to pull a lot of strings for Jiwoo’s transfer but she’d do it all for the woman sleeping at the opposite end of her corridors.

It looked like Jungeun was deep in thought and not wanting to push, she wanted to give Jungeun the space she needed.

That she deserved.

Jungeun nodded, taken aback by Jinsol screaming like a banshee and chasing the two kids.

---

“Your left or my left?”

“My left...no your left….okay….a little bit more….no bring it back to the right…..up….my up...oh right there’s only one up hahaha…. Perfect.”

“This is exactly where it was last time,” Haseul huffed, jumping off the ladder to see that Yeojin didn’t help her position the banner at all.

Chaewon and Jungeun shook their heads at the two sisters as they removed the stems from the flowers to decorate the tables with. Yeojin was helping them earlier but that girl hopped from task to task like deadlines never existed. Haseul and Vivi knew that already, having Yeojin as one of their students.

“Aunt Jungeun, we can do that instead,” Yerim and Heejin offered.

Like usual, they were bored by the afternoon and since school was not in session today - Chaewon’s gift from Haseul and Vivi - there was nothing else they could do. They were growing bored of the many activities and games in the castle. Homework was out of the question. It’s not like they could swim in the creek or travel the shops either.

New kingdom rule: no one staffed here was allowed to leave the castle without a castle guard escorting them out.

Surprisingly not Jungeun’s rule.

But Jinsol’s.

But Jungeun knew if she stopped working, she’d start thinking and if she started thinking, she’d think of Jiwoo and Sooyoung and Hyejoo and she couldn’t ruin her daughter’s eighteenth with another one of her panic attacks.

Vivi looked over from her task of scrubbing the floor and saw Jungeun’s chest rise and fall slowly. Getting up, not wanting to alarm anybody, she tried to take Jungeun to an empty room so her daughter wouldn’t see.

“Aunt Jungeun, can you tell us a story?”

Yerim suggested cockroach gathering as an activity and Heejin needed to replace that. After all, Yerim was getting over a terrible stomachache. What better way then have the queen tell a story. She knew Jungeun loved to ramble so this would buy time before the party.

And like that, Jungeun snapped out of it to smile at the young girl.

“What do you want to hear?” Jungeun exhaled deeply, letting her heart rate return to normal.

Grateful Jungeun kept them around all these years, Vivi continued her task, smiling as Haseul joined her shortly, but ears trained on whatever tale Jungeun chose to tell.

---

Jungeun should’ve known.

There was an unspoken fact that extramarital affairs existed among royal couples. They couldn’t choose who to be contractually bound to but they could choose who visited their sleeping chambers at night.

Hearing giggling from Jinsol’s room, Jungeun slammed her brush down only for Vivi to finish combing through her hair.

“You’re doing it again,” Vivi called out from behind her.

“What?”

“Overthinking,” the castle physician warned.

There weren’t accounts of overthinking and worrying physically affecting one’s body but Vivi’s brand of knowledge was more updated than the current medical reading selections. And she didn’t need text to solidify her belief that overthinking was unhealthy.

There was evidence that that type of pessimism could drive a person out of their mind.

Unheard of for the royal family.

They were supposed to be perfect. Vivi didn’t want Jungeun to be the first exception.

“Sorry.. It’s just.. I should’ve known,” Jungeun whispered.

She thought Jinsol and her were making progress together. They were linking arms during morning strolls. They sat next to each other during mealtimes. They even shared quills and ink bottles when signing contracts. They mixed their laundry.

But the soft melodic singing coming from a voice that definitely did not belong to Jinsol felt like a betrayal.

But isn’t this what Jungeun wanted?

An unemotional attachment with someone who could grant her freedom. It’s all Jinsol has provided and yet Jungeun felt like it wasn’t enough.

---

“You thought Aunt Jinsol was cheating on you?”

Jungeun nodded, feeling foolish looking back on their beginnings.

They had all migrated to the center of the room, Jungeun poised in one of the newly waxed chairs, a semicircle of her closest friends and family around her. Yerim and Heejin were dreamily listening, giggling at Jungeun’s unintelligent conclusions about her new wife at the time. Yeojin was following along, mouth open, mentally taking notes so she could put the moves on Chaewon. (If it worked on her mom, it should work on her.) Vivi and Haseul snuck glances back and forth, knowing the story all too well as they played important roles as supporting characters. Chaewon looked ready to pull her hair out but appreciated her mother bringing them all together like this.

Like old times.

Chaewon couldn’t believe she just used that phrase. She just turned eighteen.

As disgustingly in love her parents were, she missed seeing the two joined at the helm. Missed walking in on them kissing and exchanging sweet nothings in every room of the castle. Missed her parents both waking her up from bed, faking her sleepiness so they could spend more time together. Missed her parents standing in the back of the reading room while she took her lessons.

It’s not like they were avoiding each other. Whenever Jinsol was home, they made up for lost time.

But Jinsol’s visits were a fleeting glance.

Chaewon understood that their bliss couldn’t last forever.

They had duties inside their kingdom and outside it. Naturally, Jungeun took over prior and Jinsol, the latter. It would’ve been more equal if Jungeun felt a lot safer outside. But her recovery was ruined by the attack that cost her best friend, her wife, and her child.

(Chaewon had nudged Heejin to ask her mother to tell a story instead of asking Haseul. She heard her mother’s breathing shallow. Like Vivi, she was good at spotting another one of her mom’s episodes.)

Chaewon knew Jinsol couldn’t wait forever for her wife to join her on her excursions.

But she wished she would’ve waited a little while longer.

---

“Haseul?!”

Jungeun never thought Jinsol discriminated based on class and even if she half-expected another royal to step out of Jinsol’s private chambers, she didn’t think it would be the court musician's daughter.

That melodic voice she’d been hearing in Jinsol’s room for days had been Haseul this whole time?

“I thought…” Jungeun wasn’t sure where to begin.

“You thought?” Haseul was in need of a cup of water but answering whatever inquiries the queen had was more important. But seeing Jungeun, hair brushed back, sleeping gown pressed, standing outside Jinsol’s doors nervously, she pieced it together quickly.

“Oh. You thought? That we? No. No. NO! That is not a thing that is happening. We aren’t. That’s not. We? No.”

Now Haseul wasn’t sure where to end.

(Vivi felt a migraine forming as she listened in on the stairwell.)

As both women opened their mouths and closed them, thinking of the best thing to say in a situation like this, Haseul’s eyes softened at the mix of emotions swimming in Jungeun’s eyes.

Did the girl really not know?

Jinsol would never bring anyone up to her room if it wasn’t the one grasping for words in front of her.

“Jinsol sometimes has trouble sleeping at night. So I sing her to sleep. No love songs though. Well sometimes but I do not pretend that I am singing to her. Well I am singing to her. In a way but not…”

(And Vivi thought Jungeun was a rambler.)

---

Chaewon rubbed her temples.

And she thought only one of her moms was oblivious.

The door slammed open - Chaewon clutched onto her mom’s hand knowing how jumpy she gets - and seeing who was at the door, maybe birthday wishes do come true.

“Stop entering so hastily. You know my wife gets anxi...HELLO!”

Jinsol and Hyunjin strolled in, confusion on their faces. Why were their loved ones were gathered in a cult circle in the middle of the ballroom?

(Hyunjin tried not to look at one particular occupant in the room. She wasn’t sure if she deserved to be labelled a “loved one” from her.

“What’s going on?”

(Heejin looked away as well.)

“Aunt Jungeun is telling us a story.”

“Ahhh!” Jinsol smiled at her wife and daughter. “Happy birthday sweetheart! I have a surprise waiting for you up front.”

(God how Jungeun missed that voice.)

“Thanks Mom!” Chaewon said, wondering if she possessed psychic skills now that her mom was home. She closed her eyes, wishing for a scythe like the Moon kingdom’s heir already had.

Even if she was covered in sweat and dirt, Jungeun scooted over for Jinsol to sit beside her.

“Honey, I smell bad..”

“I don’t care.”

Jinsol allowed herself to finally relax, falling into Jungeun’s arms. If she dug deep, she would find that this - being in the sanctity of her home in the arms of her lover - is what was filling the void in her heart. 

“Anything happen while I was gone?”

It was that last straw of her friends going missing that made Jinsol do something about her complacency at home.

She hasn’t kept still since then.

What was worse was Jungeun understood why she had to do what she had to do out there. Jungeun looked up at her wife, hoping to make this moment last longer. It wouldn’t be long before she was off on another excursion.

An excursion she knew Jinsol would reason as a way to make the kingdom safe.

To make her friends feel justice.

To make if safe for her wife to leave the castle.

And Jungeun knew the longer she kept her at home, the longer it would take for this extermination mission to carry out. So she kept mum about all of the nightmares she was having, the panic attacks that kept Vivi constantly checking up on her, the deep prayers she uttered every time Jinsol and Hyunjin left on horseback.

Because she knew Jinsol would drop it all to stay with her like before.

And she couldn’t do that to her again.

“Nothing, my love. Nothing at all.”

Realizing they were neglecting the company of the rest of their castlehold, they looked up and saw no one except a sleeping Hyunjin furled up on a bench in the corner of the room. They’d enjoy their privacy, however long it was.

Their house would be swimming with guests soon.

“OHHHHHHHH YEAAAAHHHHH!”

“Jung...”

“It’s practical—”

“Jin…”

“She said she wanted to see what the Western kingdoms used—”

“Sol…”

“I had Hyunjin try it on me on the way here. If you use the felt tipped ones, it doesn’t hurt much.”

“Thanks for the rapid fire crossbow, Mom!”

---

Jiwoo massaged her shoulders. They were sore having carried crates of fruits up the hill to the Kim kingdom to celebrate something.

She didn’t know what for.

But she hoped her family’s produce would make it a festive event. Skipping down the dirt path, her pockets jingling with coins, she thought of what she could spend the extra schillings on. Maybe some new parchment. Or meat. Or both.

(It would’ve been smarter to invest in a cart.)

She was too lost in her lavish fantasies of unending par

chment and pork when she was almost knocked off the path by a wild animal.

Dusting herself off, she cursed herself for thinking it was even an animal in the first place.

“Your Highness, I’m sorry I didn’t see you there,” Jiwoo bowed.

She knew this was the princess from the many trips she took to the market with her castle guard. They never officially met but she saw her face a few stalls over. She shouldn’t have been walking on that side of the road. Maybe royals only walked on that side. She tried not to cry at the punishment she would be given for interrupting the princess’ exercise.

But her eyes caught the loose bindle the princess was carrying.

And the tears streaming down her face meant this wasn’t a run for leisure.

“Did I hurt you, Your Highness?”

Jungeun shook her head.

She didn’t know what she was doing.

She didn’t know where was going.

She didn’t know if she could trust this person.

What she did know was she couldn’t stay here and be cattled off to the best buyer to strengthen trading lines. She was a person, not a commodity.

“I’m running away…”

Jiwoo must’ve been working long because she was not hearing the princess right. She was leaving the grand estate up the road?

But as Jungeun continued to cry, Jiwoo sympathized with the girl. She too felt like running away sometimes. But she squashed those dreams because this was the life she was dealt.

But the princess could change her fate.

She was a princess after all.

“Can you help me?”

Help a member of the royal family cause uproar in the kingdom? She could be hung, drawn, and quartered for this.

But the princess wouldn’t be leaving a life like hers if it wasn’t to run away from something. Maybe something threatening. Maybe something terrifying.

And Jiwoo was always taught to defend oneself in the face of danger.

Taking the girl’s hand in hers - squealing internally for touching someone of royal blood - she led her into the forest where the royal guard shouldn’t track them.

---

“Queen Amber and Queen Krystal…”

“Ahem…”

“Queen Krystal and Queen Amber…”

“Are you serious right now?”

“Of the Liu kingdom and their daughter SinB. Oh that is a nice name change,” Yeojin complimented, high-fiving the princess on her way in.

Vivi held down Haseul’s hands to prevent her from slapping her sister upside the head.

The party was in full swing. Jungeun and Jinsol were arm-in-arm but had took breaks to prevent Chaewon from giving a live presentation of Jinsol’s present (which she would be returning at the end of the month which Jungeun made her swear). Heejin was making sure everyone’s hands had something to eat or drink. Haseul and Vivi were chasing her telling her to calm down. Hyunjin was eyeing everyone up and down, even her own sister, to ensure they didn’t carry weapons. (Chaewon was allowed to carry her gift if she didn’t fire it in the ballroom). Yerim was playing piano in the corner of the room, still healing from her stomach ailment, sometimes adding musical riffs to follow Yeojin’s announcements.

“Ha Soo…”

Yeojin’s eyes widened.

Maybe she was reading the name wrong.

She really shouldn’t have spent last night trying to rearrange the letters in the “happy birthday” banner to a different anagram. It was hard to think of new phrases containing eleven letters.

But peeking above the parchment, it was as clear as Chaewon was pretty.

“Ha Sooyoung, her wife Ha Jiwoo, and their daughter Hyejoo.”

Yerim wasn’t sure what piano riff to follow that up with.

Vivi and Haseul’s necks snapped making sure Yeojin read that correctly.

Hyunjin readied her sword, not being able to see the new guests where she was standing but ready to jump.

Jinsol and Jungeun looked up from their conversation with Jinsol’s aunt and her wife, unsure if they heard right. If this was another one of Yeojin’s pranks, Jinsol would make her clean the outhouses for a year. Unlike before, Jungeun took her time to the entrance of the ballroom to see if Yeojin was hallucinating - ready to call Vivi over to check on the squire’s mental state. She was thankful Jinsol was keeping pace with her, supporting her through every step to a sight she didn’t think she’d witness again.

(Like Jungeun, Jinsol was unconvinced. But her wife needed her.)

Jiwoo and Sooyoung held their breath as their friends - could they still call them that? - walked over to them. They deserved to be yelled at for their many years of silence. If Jinsol ordered them to leave, they would oblige. But if given the chance, they would explain everything.

(Mostly everything.)

Sooyoung reached behind her to hold Hyejoo’s hand, knowing how defensive she can get. If Jinsol did end up yelling, they prayed for the queen’s wellbeing more than their own.

Sooyoung reached for her wife’s hand at well, knowing she was close to tears seeing her best friend after so many years.

There they were.

Unharmed.

Unscathed.

They had definitely aged but that was them.

Jinsol listened closely to Jungeun’s breathing. To anyone in the room, it looked like she was nuzzling into her wife.

“Sweetheart, are you having another…”

Jungeun’s world went dark.

---

“Where did you learn how to do that?”

“Everyone in the kingdom knows how to start a fire.”

“I don’t..”

Jiwoo stoked the fire. It was small as she could only find a few branches. She didn’t want to leave the princess alone for long. Leaning against a boulder, she didn’t expect the princess to saddle up next to her. It’s not like there were many boulders to lean on anyway.

“You’re lucky.”

Jiwoo had to make sure that didn’t come out of her own mouth.

Her?

Lucky?

Jiwoo was the optimistic person in town but she knew when to look at a situation objectively. And Jungeun was speaking nonsense.

“You get to be free like this. Gather around fires like this. Travel in and out of the castle like this,” at each word Jungeun felt tears prick her eyes.

She looked up to the sky.

The same sky she would see from her room window.

But this sky was comforting. It looked bigger. Wider. Full of endless possibilities. Able to reset itself each night to a different pattern of stars. She knew better. They were the same pattern but over time, they’d look different.

Whereas she was stuck in the same routine her bloodline put her in for generations to come.

“You get to eat when you want.”

“Pardon?”

Jiwoo wasn’t sure if Jungeun would hit her for arguing against her spiel. But Jiwoo needed Jungeun to know that her life wasn’t as free as she thought.

“You get to eat when you want. You get choices for clothes. You have activities to fill your free time. To me, that’s freedom too.”

Jiwoo closed her eyes for a blow that would never happen. Jungeun would leave her now. Tell her she’s foolish and doesn’t know what she’s talking about because she’s a commoner. Turn her in to the royal guard for refuting a princess.

But Jungeun seemed like a smart girl and every second they spent together, she felt like they were becoming friends.

“Maybe we’re both trapped,” Jiwoo said, hoping Jungeun - woah Princess Jungeun, they were not on a first name basis - wasn’t offended.

But Jungeun snuggled closer and apologized for staining Jiwoo’s coat with her tears.

---

“Sweetheart? Open your eyes please..”

Jungeun awoke in one of the downstairs bed chambers. Aligning the edge of the bed were Jinsol, Vivi, Haseul - and she was not dreaming - Sooyoung and Jiwoo. This wasn’t another nightmare.

Or dream.

Sometimes, they were interchangeable.

“I thought these stopped,” Jinsol tucked a few stray strands behind her wife’s ear.

“They did,” Jungeun reassured. Jinsol wouldn’t leave the castle for another month if she knew.

(Haseul and Vivi gave her a slight nod, understanding not to tell Jinsol how frequent her attacks really were.)

Jinsol in her lips and nodded, happy to see her wife’s brown eyes again. It had been years since Jungeun out and it scared her like always. What should’ve been a tearful reunion turned into a bedside vigil for Jungeun to wake up. But Jinsol knew there were two bodies in the room that weren’t supposed to be there.

Weren’t supposed to be because they were declared missing.

And later dead.

“I’m so sorry,” a voice called out from the door frame.

While the queen was recovering, one guest was pacing the hallways. She didn’t know her aunts well but she’d rather be stuck here than confronting the one person she was most anxious to reunite with.

“Why are you sorry, sweetheart?” Jungeun rose herself up on her elbows to get a good look at how much the girl in the door frame had grown. If memory served her correct, Hyejoo would be seventeen years old now. Even if Jinsol was worried about Jungeun doing too much too soon by raising her upper body, she would agree with Jungeun that the raven haired Hyejoo had blossomed into a beautiful young lady.

“I should’ve come sooner. I know you said we were always invited. But well…”

Hyejoo knew her parents planned what details to leave out when giving their excuse to the Jungs but they weren’t expecting a fainting spell. This was Hyejoo’s warm-up when she would face Chaewon again. She ignored her mothers boring their eyes into her.

“...I was healing from the wolf attacks.”

(She saw her moms squeeze their hands together out of her aunts’ eyeline.)

Upon hearing the word wolf, Jinsol looked at Sooyoung and Jiwoo, analyzing their every detail.

They knew what she was doing.

Checking for any markings the wolves left.

(But only one of them had a mark and it would be best if the Jungs didn’t know about that yet.)

Jungeun bumped her head against Jinsol’s, getting her attention. Now was not the time to discuss the details. Their friends were finally here. They had accepted their open invitation. Jungeun would make certain that invitation was forever open.

“Oh and no one saw you,” Hyejoo added.

Jungeun tilted her head in confusion.

Her wife groaned.

Vivi and Haseul held their laughter.

Sooyoung and Jiwoo were unsure how to react.

“Before you fainted, your daughter decided to show the guests her new crossbow. Cool gift Aunt Jinsol.”

(Jinsol was definitely returning the gift by the end of the month.)

---

Jungeun grimaced as she felt her arm numbing from her sleeping position. Opening her eyes slowly, she wasn’t in the comfort of her enormous bed.

But sleeping on top of Jiwoo.

Kim Jiwoo.

How she wished they grew up together. In just the past couple of hours of talking did she and the fruit seller become fast friends. Jiwoo was unafraid to speak her mind. Jiwoo was tactless. Shameless. And incredibly gifted in forest survival tactics. If they switched lives, she wondered if she would be as resourceful as the girl.

The girl who could’ve cried wolf to the royal guards at their first meeting (who were probably out on a search party for her now).

It was then she realized the damage she caused. Her parents would be worried sick for her. Queens Yubin and Hyelim may sometimes look intimidating but like their daughter, grew emotionally attached to those who grew close to them.

Just like how Jungeun was growing attached to Jiwoo.

And also Jinsol.

Wait, Jinsol?

She didn’t know why her chosen future wife popped into her head. Why did she think Jinsol would worry about her? She shouldn’t. They weren’t even married yet. Jungeun closed her eyes and willed thoughts of the Jung princess - who would’ve heard of her disappearance by now - out of her head.

Jiwoo opened her eyes too, feeling something on top of her body wiggle too much.

If it was another raccoon, she was going to eat it for dinner. Meat is meat.

Her eyes meeting Jungeun’s, Jiwoo let out an ear piercing scream.

And like that, Jungeun was fully awake.

And so was the wildlife around them.

---

“You should’ve seen Princess Soojin’s face when you opened fire,” Yeojin laughed, twirling the birthday girl around.

Chaewon swallowed the bile rising in ; Yeojin was spinning her too fast. She would be sure to ask Haseul and Vivi to add ballroom dancing to their curriculum and make Yeojin volunteer every time.

Only Chaewon knew the real reason she went ballistic in the ballroom.

(Her weapon now confiscated by seneschal Hyunjin.)

She witnessed her mothers going through an existential crisis at the announcement of their former friends. She too was frozen but let her parents have their moment first. Before her mom’s head hit the ground - Jinsol was quick to catch her thankfully - Chaewon thought of the only distraction she could.

She was definitely going to need a ladder to pull out the arrowheads from the tapestries tomorrow morning.

Her mother was in the safety of one of the downstairs’ chambers with her other mom. With Haseul. With Vivi. With her aunts Sooyoung and Jiwoo who aged gracefully.

With Hyejoo.

Chaewon didn’t think she would recognize her. But she could never forget Hyejoo’s existence, as swift their meeting was exactly eight years ago. She didn’t know whether to hug the girl - the woman? - or beat her chest for breaking her promise.

But the fact is she didn’t.

She did return.

“Stop that Yeojin, you’re making her dizzy,” Heejin scolded, leaving Yerim’s hold on her to save the princess.

“Wait, I want to try,” Yerim asked.

"No wait weren't you sick?"

"I recover fast."

Before Yeojin could protest, Yerim was asking her to spin her faster and faster, and away from the princess. Guests parted the way, fear they would get hit by the girl’s flying hair like they were almost beheaded by Chaewon earlier.

“I guess we’re dance partners now,” Chaewon motioned to Heejin. But the cook looked as if she had seen a ghost.

Chaewon turned her head to the cause of Heejin’s expression.

“Chae…”

“Princess Chaewon,” Chaewon corrected the intruder.

This was not how the reunion was supposed to go. But considering how her mother had fainted during her own, hers wasn’t that bad.

“Right, Princess Chaewon..,” Hyejoo amended, wanting to break eye contact with the girl but needing to prove that she was sorry.

Sorry for missing out on years of birthdays, sleepovers, and holidays. Sorry for leaving their last conversation open. Sorry for giving her false hope.

(Sorry for keeping secrets.)

“I’m going to go check on the food trays…” and Heejin was gone.

But Hyejoo stayed.

They stood like that in the middle of the dancefloor, staring at each other but also trying not to lock eyes for too long. They didn’t want the other to know how empty the last few years were. They were kids but they experienced what it was like to miss someone. To mourn the existence of someone you thought would always be there. Now they knew how their mothers felt. (Hyejoo knew that if Chaewon fainted, she would catch her easily. She now had the skills for that.)

Guests circled around them. Yerim’s hair slapped them a few times. Hyunjin even walked between them. It could’ve been seconds. Or minutes. Or hours.

Their mothers had emerged from the chambers, pausing their overdue reunion to see their daughters as a standstill.

However they dealt, it was their decision.

They couldn’t parent them about how to feel about this.

Last time, they made plans that were left open.

Last time, Hyejoo left.

This time, it was Chaewon.

---

Sooyoung watched Jiwoo attentively as she closed the door to the sleeping princess’ chambers.

She didn’t know what transpired between them but for someone who met that day, Jungeun had requested seeing her in private. Were they friends? Did Jungeun tell her why she sparked an outrage in the castle? Was this planned?

The princess was found.

And luckily for the farmers’ daughter, all her limbs were intact.

Sooyoung was seething. Not because the princess was returned in somewhat mint condition. But because everyone in the castle was gushing over this commoner.

Who somehow took on a pack of wolves and carried the comatose princess back up to the Kim castle.

Sooyoung should’ve been glad that Jungeun was asleep in her room, her wounds attended to by Vivi. The tailor’s daughter had worked hard to be considered a knight. Every day she put on her uniform, it was proof that hard work can get you to where you want.

But she was upset.

Her path to being a head knight was hindered even more than before in the span of one night.

“Um, I’m leaving now,” Jiwoo announced, unsure what was the proper goodbye procedure.

Sooyoung cleared .

Jiwoo looked very different up close.

“May I have your number?” Sooyoung blurted out.

What was she doing? was not behaving. Wasn’t she supposed to be mad at her?

“Pardon?” Jiwoo said, picking up on Jungeun’s vernacular. It did sound more pleasant than her usual “what?”

“Your lot number,” Sooyoung clarified, not registering why she was saying the words she was.

“What for?”

“To send a thank you gift for your acts of bravery and selflessness.”

Sooyoung wasn’t lying and Jiwoo’s growing smile was not helping her. The royal guard was preparing a gift to thank the smiling girl per the queens request. But Sooyoung didn’t think she would be chosen to hand deliver it.

(She ended up doing just that.)

But she couldn’t appear like she was courting the girl either.

She had to backtrack.

What did people hate?

Insults.

“No way someone as small as you could’ve saved the princess,” she scoffed.

Before Sooyoung knew it, she was flipped onto her back and a smirking Jiwoo was leaving the castle with a flip of her hair.

---

“Mom would’ve been up here, wouldn’t she?”

Jiwoo excused herself from the quartet - promising she would return when Jungeun started panicking again, Jinsol murmuring words of comfort in her ear in a second - to follow her daughter.

After being left alone - thankfully not in the middle where everyone could see - Jiwoo could see her Hyejoo close her eyes, squinting hard, fighting something that she should’ve had control over.

Luckily, she bolted before the Jungs could question her behavior.

Jiwoo followed after but stayed silent in the corner of the room while Hyejoo composed herself. Her daughter found herself in the courtroom, housing the portraits of the many head knights and seneschals the kingdom had over the years in the castle. An apathetic portrait of Hyunjin facing her looked to be the newest addition.

“Maybe.”

(Sooyoung’s portrait would’ve been hung in the Kim castle but Hyejoo didn’t need technicalities.)

Jiwoo didn’t want Hyejoo to feel guiltier than she already did. She understood why Chaewon reacted like she did. (Jungeun followed suit and went after her own daughter.) What happened eight years ago was no one’s fault but the wicked werewolf. It obliterated them off the map. Sooyoung and Jiwoo lost their jobs as they recovered. They resurfaced three years ago and started their family from scratch.

Head Knight Sooyoung was unattainable.

Her records and honors were erased.

But Jiwoo never wanted Hyejoo to feel like it was her fault.

“She hates me.”

“Your mother could never hate you.”

“No, not her. Chae…Princess Chaewon,” Hyejoo hung her head. Hyunjin’s painted smolder was threatening above her.

Jiwoo caught her daughter before her knees gave out.

---

They couldn’t show all their emotions. Not while they were on the lookout.

Not while they were being looked for.

Not while they were being hunted.

The Has knew if they let their emotions overcome, someone from the memorial service would see them. But they couldn’t reveal themselves now.

Sooyoung protectively put her arms around her wife and daughter as they watched the presider give thanks for the lives that were spared and wish the perished souls’ safe journey to heaven. She could feel her wife wanting to reach out to Jungeun, who was cradling an inconsolable Yerim. Hyunjin was nowhere in sight.

Sooyoung held in her own cries. If only they kept a better eye out, if only they left earlier or stayed the night, if only they took a less-traveled road.. maybe Hyunjin and Yerim’s parents would’ve survived.

She too wanted to tell the Jungs that they were okay. That they could mourn three people less. But one of them wasn’t a person anymore.

At least not by the many kingdoms’ definitions.

One of them was a half-breed, a monster.

They were included when the presider announced the “many who have gone missing.”

To the rest of the citizens, the Has were missing. It would only be a matter of time when they were declared dead.

And then, maybe they could come out of hiding.

---

Jungeun’s heart sank when she found her daughter buried under all her stuffed animals, holding the lone wolf close to her chest as she cried. She unfortunately inherited her knack of running away when things got tough but at least she kept her refugee spots within the castle grounds.

“I know! I messed up!” Chaewon whined.

Parenting Chaewon was easy sometimes.

“And how do you feel about that?” Jungeun sat on the small spot that wasn’t covered in pink spheres.

“I feel not very good.”

Parenting Chaewon was also hard.

Jungeun fell backwards, facing her daughter upside-down and closed her eyes. Like Jiwoo, she played the waiting game. Chaewon did not like it when her mothers overstayed their welcome.

“I feel guilty!”

There it was.

The stuffed animals were hindering Jungeun to really look at her daughter. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I dreamt of this reunion for so long and then I accepted that it wouldn’t happen. And now that it did happen, I feel bad for accepting in the first place. Because that shows that I gave up on her. And now I left her on the dance floor by herself!” Chaewon screamed to end her tirade, thankfully in the direction of the plushies.

“Your mother and I..,” Jungeun sank further into the bed, recounting that the founding moment between her romantic relationship was based on guilt.

Jinsol feeling guilty for making Jungeun run away. Jungeun feeling guilty for making Jinsol feeling guilty. Then Jinsol feeling guilty that Jungeun felt guilty for making her guilty.

They were a very complicated couple.

“..A lot of things happened between us that could’ve been solved if we were more upfront about our feelings but a lot of things were out of our control.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying: Hyejoo leaving you hurt you and it's okay to be upset about it. You don't have to forgive her."

"I dont?"

"No. That's your choice. But if Hyejoo really meant to hurt you, she wouldn’t have returned."

(And that’s the excuse Jungeun used every time Jinsol left the castle to perform her royal duties.)

"Only you can let her back into your life. Not your mother or I. I know you'll make the right decision."

"That's a lot on my plate Mom. I'm still a princess."

---

“We could’ve found your lot number in the directory.”

Jiwoo and Jungeun were following each other’s voices, walking alongside the castle walls. Safe to say, the royal guard were making sure another episode like last weekend’s wouldn’t happen. They were applying a background check on Jiwoo and her family before she could be cleared as a frequent visitor to the castle.

The Kim castle.

Where Jungeun got a sliver of freedom from.

She wanted to keep that freedom alive.

So this is what it has come down to.

She looked over at Sooyoung who was trailing behind, thankfully staying enough meters away not to hear their conversation since she was the current topic.

(She had to trail behind as she was nursing a sore back thanks to a one Miss Jiwoo.)

“Is she always like that?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. In your face. Wanting to know your every move,” Jiwoo bit her lip, glad Jungeun couldn’t see her.

“She’s my bodyguard. It’s her job.”

“So she goes everywhere you go?”

Jungeun didn’t miss the lift in Jiwoo’s voice asking that question.

“Does it matter if she did?”

“No.”

Jungeun didn’t miss the quick response either.

She looked back at her guard. She wondered if she was hurt for betraying her. For putting all those years of hard work to waste. Thankfully, she wasn’t removed from the staff. (Jungeun wouldn’t allow it.)

Then she looked - metaphorically - at her new friend behind the castle walls and picked up how her voice rose an octave when talking about the young knight.

She couldn’t marry for love but maybe she could help two people live out that dream for her.

---

For the first time, Jinsol was more muscular than she was.

She had to be.

Sooyoung wasn’t a knight anymore.

Taking another swig of her beer, the two of them looked over the balcony at the dwindling guests below. Their wives had run off after their daughters and knowing they were capable of fixing the situation by themselves, they caught up.

Or attempted to.

Sooyoung was a bit terrified of this new version of Jinsol.

Many rumors surrounded the new wolf hunter Queen and her right hand Hyunjin. Sooyoung couldn’t believe it at first. Jinsol teared up when she accidentally hit Jungeun with a single french fry.

But when Jiwoo and her walked past the entrails of a slain wolf, recognizing voice a few meters away, more concerned for Hyunjin's wellbeing than the slain animal, it had to be true. Jinsol didn’t even bother giving the wolf a proper burial and they didn’t bother giving a proper hello.

Not when Jinsol was so proud of her kill.

And Sooyoung didn’t know how she could still be a friend of someone who would do that to her daughter’s kind.

---

“Princess Jungeun said it was crucial that I do this.”

Behind an assorted bouquet of flowers, Sooyoung smiled widely. Behind her, the other (less important) knights were organizing the new furniture and beddings for Jiwoo’s house.
If one could call it that.

It was more of a shack.

But Sooyoung was glad to know where Jiwoo grew up.

(Especially since it simulated her previous living conditions).

Sooyoung wasn’t sure why she needed to deliver the thank you gifts but Jungeun insisted - more like threatened - she do so. She argued that that would provide an opening for the princess to escape but Jungeun promised she would be spending the day with her mothers.

Bitterly adding that she had to as she was to be married in less than a year.

Jiwoo was glad there was a ruckus outside as the image of Sooyoung at her doorstep with flowers was causing a strange reaction within her. (Unlike Sooyoung, she knew exactly what that feeling was.) Glancing outside, she could see her mother admire the many gifts and her father attempt to spin one of their new tables on one finger.

“Onew, put that down!” Luna gasped.

Jiwoo turned her attention to the girl and her flowers.

They were from the Kim castle.

Since Sooyoung was an employee and resident of the Kim castle, Jiwoo could pretend her knight-in-shining armor was at her doorstep with flowers.

---

Hyejoo looked up at the partial moon in the dark night sky. In her years of healing, the moon and her became the best of friends. It was imperative she knew everything about it so she could understand her new self better. But she was ready for more friends.

Especially if one of them was the birthday celebrant.

Who was standing on the farthest side of the balcony, waiting if she should speak first.

Chaewon storming out - when Hyejoo looked back on it, it was kind of adorable - was warranted. Keeping her eyes trained on the moon, she wasn’t sure if Chaewon would like it if she looked at her.

Last time their eyes met, Chaewon left and Hyejoo almost broke down in tears.

Beside her, the girl was using the same tactic.

Chaewon knew if their eyes met, she would break. Those deeply buried feelings of longing, of hope, of hatred, or of guilt would bubble up to the surface and Hyejoo needed to ease into her stay here no matter how long it was.

She hoped it would be much longer than her last one.

“I thought you were dead.”

Hyejoo forced herself to listen.

“All Hyunjin could find was that carriage. And her parents. And they were dead. She was a mess. So was Yerim. Remember her? But you and your moms. You were gone. My mom,” Chaewon smiled bittersweetly. “She did everything she could to find you.”

Even if that attack jump started the new arrangement between her mothers, it gave Jinsol a chance to show the world her power and strength - something she couldn’t do sitting pretty on a throne.

Hyejoo knew about Jinsol’s search party and how kingdoms lauded her valiant efforts to stop the attacks once and for all.

(She also knew Jinsol would not hesitate to stick a lance in her skull.)

Before Hyejoo could begin her apology, Chaewon switched saddles.

“I think I’m magical..”

Hyejoo was unsure if she heard Chaewon right.

“I wished my mom would return and she showed up with a rapid fire crossbow. And I wished for my friends and family to have a good time tonight. If you erase my mom passing out, it worked well.”

Chaewon was facing her now, tears falling freely.

“And every year I wish you would return.”

Chaewon was in front of her face.

“And you did.”

Hyejoo should get a medal for how long she was holding this staring contest.

“Whoever granted that wish must have been sleeping on the job,” Hyejoo looked back at the moon if Chaewon didn’t appreciate her humor.

“Well I’m glad they woke up,” Chaewon giggled.

“You should see my mothers wake up. Scary,” Hyejoo resisted the urge to high-five herself at Chaewon’s change in expression.

“Mine too.”

“Did they hurt you?”

“Why would your mother…”

“No not my mother. The wolves.” Chaewon was less subtle than Jinsol checking for wolf markings and surveyed all the skin she could see on Hyejoo, encircling her.

(Luckily for her, Chaewon would not be able to locate it during this screening.)

With Hyejoo’s arms lifted high in the air, Chaewon investigated every centimeter of skin Hyejoo’s outfit revealed. If anyone passed by the balcony, they weren’t sure how to explain this ritual.

“They did..,” Hyejoo replied honestly.

Some things she couldn’t trust Chaewon with her yet so she had to be honest where it counted.

Chaewon’s eyes narrowed into slits at the thought of someone - something - hurting Hyejoo.

(A look Hyejoo hoped to never see on Jinsol’s face.)

“But I’m better now,” Hyejoo sighed, meaning more ways than her physical recovery.

 

 

NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE: NEW MOON

Q (ourtuneissohigh): And now the real story begins. Comments and support much appreciated. Endgames are set but lots of drama to come. (P.S. Lipsoul is my fave which means they'll maybe suffer the most...unless N tells me to reel it in again. If I didn't have them, this story would be much more tragic) Twitter | CC

N (LazyNinja on ao3): Thank you for reading and hope you'll continue enjoying the story. Please leave any comments on your thoughts about this chapter and what you hope to see in future chapters? Viseul are my favorite losers in the story. Twitter | CC