FORMAT AS FOLLOW: Italics - Past | Straight (but really gay) - Present

 

“Everything all right love?” 

They were discussing what jobs to give Jiwoo and Sooyoung upon their return. It’d be a stressful commute in the winter months to their jobs in the village so it would only be right for them to do things around the castle. Jungeun’s patterns around Jinsol’s bare chest were turning into scratches and Jinsol turned her head to wonder what brought about the change. 

Jinsol looked at Jungeun with all the love in the world.

(No. But I can’t tell you yet.)

“I-I-I heard Sooyoung’s a great cook now. She does most of the cooking for their household,” Jungeun redirected, lightening up on her scratching in case Jinsol could figure it out. She couldn’t tell her yet.

The one episode early in the week got Jinsol to stay for the rest of the month.

How much more if she knew everything?

Before she knew it, Jungeun was rambling. Like every sovereign, she was trained to keep a good face and suppress any improper thoughts. Teacher Petrie at the Discipline, Energy, Beauty, Strength Academy taught her well.

(She could practically hear Vivi in her head, telling her that suppression in front of citizens was fine but she needed a proper outlet. Her current therapy of screaming into pillows was thwarted upon Jinsol’s return.)

“...You’re right, and Heejin has always wanted to go abroad,” Jinsol agreed, laying a kiss on Jungeun’s head, letting her lips linger, “Maybe it’s finally time to help make that happen for her.”

The blonde traced the (now faint white) scars on Jungeun’s back, wondering if she needed to edit her research trip to include scar healing.

But she’d focus on that after the new years’ feasts.

Right now, she wanted nothing else than to revel in the presence of her wife, knowing they could sleep in tomorrow as they had Yeojin postpone tomorrow’s schedules.

(Little did they know, Yeojin had great joy telling everyone with a wag of her finger, “you’re fired…temporarily.”)

Jungeun snapped her head up to Jinsol dozing off, returning back to her reality.

Jinsol just said something.

What did she just suggest?

---

Haseul was getting bored - using most of her brain this month to plan Vivi’s “not” birthday bash - so devised a distraction: a volunteer music class. Only her best students showed up. As usual.

Haseul rolled her eyes again as the girls fought over something that didn’t have anything to do with her lesson. As usual.

“How is ‘so’ a needle sewing thread?”

“No it’s not spelled that way. It’s ‘so,’ like the verb.”

“‘So,’ is an adverb.”

“No, not ‘so.’ But sew. They’re homonyms.”

“Teacher Haseul, can words be homophobic?”

Before Haseul opened and say that yes, words can hold offensive meanings behind them. Her lesson on slurs not so many years ago when Yeojin asked aloud if Vivi was a “w-word” still fresh. (They were called healers now.) Haseul told her two best students to continue working on scales.

They carried on, forgetting their argument, and Haseul smiled, loving the sound of their music.

Unlike Jungeun and Jinsol who knew how to conceal their emotions, Haseul couldn’t fight her smile from fading.

Because while Yerim and Heejin sang their hearts out, never missing a note or breath, Haseul was counting her days when it would only be Yerim that remained.

She had watched Vivi help Heejin pack in the room across. Heejin asked if there was a way Vivi could make her bag bigger on the inside so she could put more of her belongings inside. Vivi referenced a novel Haseul hasn’t touched yet: Mary Poppins. (Heejin got it right away.) And Heejin hoped the Kim kingdom would have the novel for her to read. Yeojin, Yerim, and Chaewon joined her with somber smiles as Heejin place her most important things in her suitcases, her mother’s apron being last.

Maybe it was best Hyunjin was tracking Sooyoung down to request something for her sister’s benefit. No doubt the seneschal would miss Heejin the most. But with immense happiness on Heejin’s face as Vivi told her all about her Heejin’s birthplace, Haseul knew it was for the best.

Heejin was going home.

---

Jieun and Kibum - who went by the names IU and Key, not to be mistaken for the other Jieuns and Kibums in the fifty-member castle staff - were hard workers.

As stable boy - man, Key would correct - and head cook - chef, IU would correct - they never left a job unfinished. Unlike most castle staff, they weren’t born or transferred into their roles but hired for their commendable jobs elsewhere. IU was a court musician who picked up shifts in the kitchen when staff was rushed during solemnities and banquets. Key was a royal guard who had given up his role for the new generation of knights.

(Enter Sooyoung.)

People hated them for relinquishing their roles, especially for making way for a majority women staff, but they were strong in their beliefs and hoped to bestow their philosophies on their pride and joy.

Heejin.

She took after their headstrong attitude. Their physical talents? Not so much.

With the batter splattered all over the counter, floor, her hair, and the ceiling, Heejin pouted for messing up another one of her mother’s recipes. It was the Cavalry Banquet and they were making a rum cake per Taeyang’s request.

Maybe that’s why she messed up, Heejin reasoned. She wasn’t used to stirring rum into the mix. Maybe she would find a different path like her parents did. They hoped she would not feel pressured to take after them. Before she bursted into tears, IU took her daughter into her arms, wiping the batter off Heejin’s face.

Nurture with love and patience, was one of her parenting techniques.

“Well why do we have to make a whole cake for this Cavalry?” Key smacked his lips clean of the batter.

Hate the game, not the player, was one of his parenting techniques.

Heejin’s father had a more stern approach, blaming everything on the environment so their daughter would always have a large dose of self-esteem. But once he started, he couldn’t stop. He could be in the troupe when he saved enough money to retire.

IU thought that would be an excellent job. He could take Heejin with her as she had a wanderlust like no other.

“I thought Cavalry was just one person, but it’s a whole group of these witches.”

Heejin giggled, bouncing in IU’s lap, her bunny smile poking out. 

Key winked at his wife who rolled her eyes at his theatrics and then scolded him for using the w-slur. It was a good thing the horses couldn’t actually understand him because she was sure he practiced his stage audition in front of them.

---

“How does she do that?” Yeojin’s jaw dropped as Hyejoo sailed down the rope course.

It took years for Yeojin to even complete it and Hyejoo did it at ease - stumbling a little at the ascending monkey bars - and finishing a whole minute after Hyunjin. Which for a rookie was unbelievable. Hyunjin looked disappointed as her time was slower, taking a peek at the markings on the hourglass, and wondered who to blame.

Looking at the frosted equipment, then at Yeojin’s blue lips - she couldn’t tell from Hyejoo as she would always be warm like she was - she attributed her slow time to the cold environment.

Hyejoo shrugged and wiped off non-existent sweat.

(Hyunjin knew it was non-existent. Yeojin didn’t.)

The squire looked between a sheepish Hyejoo and an uptight Hyunjin - she’d been uptight since dinner last night and Yeojin considered offering her a laxative - and wondered if they were long lost twins.

Maybe triplets if you added Yerim.

Opting out of Haseul’s music lesson, they were showing Hyejoo how they kept in shape during the off-season. Bringing out a collection of ropes, rings, and ladders, Hyunjin constructed a rope course using the walls of the estate. (Jinsol made it retractable in case wolves used it to sneak in.)

There were fewer missions to carry out during the winter and now that Hyejoo had a crest, she wanted to know how she could keep it.

According to her mother, it was a lifelong career unless there were extenuating circumstances. Hyejoo knew her unwelcomed wolf identity was one example of these circumstances that ended her mother’s career. Yet it was the same circumstance that boosted hers. 

“You know…” Yeojin started, giving more advice than Hyunjin at this point.

Yeojin wasn’t even wearing the right clothes to work out in, arriving to their scheduled course run ten minutes late with a steaming mug of coffee.

“...one way to get the ladies is by being a knight,” Yeojin wiggled her eyebrows.

The “twins” shared a look.

Hyejoo knew it was a perk but it wasn’t one she was interested in. Jiwoo had told her time and time again that if Sooyoung wasn’t a knight, she would have fallen for her regardless. Hyejoo retched each time she heard it.

Hyunjin knew it was a perk but it wasn’t one she had considered. She became a knight to live out her parents’ legacy. The carnal benefits were temporary. The cheers were background noise. The cards were tedious. The pats on the back were unfelt. The worship was asinine.

The riches were nothing compared to the melodic singing in the castle only her ears could pick up.

(Hyejoo’s did too but Heejin’s voice didn’t impress her much.)

---

Jinsol was glad Heejin was past the age of being carried as Chaewon and Yerim fought to be in Jungeun’s arms. Balancing the two on each hip, Jungeun looked at Jinsol for help.

“I would help but I’m weirdly jealous,” Jinsol said, rocking a napping Yeojin in her cradle.

Jungeun rose an eyebrow at Jinsol but found it adorable that Jinsol was more clingy lately. They had their hands full with babysitting duties meaning they haven’t had much time together. Haseul and Vivi had gallivanted off to the market today. Sooyoung had immigrated back to the Kim kingdom with her family for hope of a quicker path to Head Knight. Yongguk and Minzy were on show in the neighboring Park kingdom.

And Heejin’s parents had passed mere weeks ago.

Life moved on and the Jung kingdom Head Knight Taeyang was gracious to take some of Jinsol’s duties while the two queens figured out what to do with Heejin.

Jungeun and Jinsol adopting them was out of the question.

Royal blood in their family only, according to the laws of the council.

Taeyang and Hyorin were at the top tier as well and already had their hands full with two rambunctious kids. One of them was off with her parents to carry out official duties.. The other was pulling on Jungeun’s hair to get her attention. 

If they didn’t find her legal parents soon, little Heejin would be sent to an institution and they might as well kiss her goodbye. No kid in an institution remained in the kingdom they resided in. Some didn’t make it past eighteen with the conditions they lived in.

(The Jungs were working on a petition for institution inspections to be carried out by a third party but that required a third party and for the council to actually care.)

The council had outdated beliefs about single parenting so made it imperative that two beings allowed to adopt.

The only viable options left were Vivi and Haseul.

Jungeun and Jinsol would bring it up when the pair returned from their market with their empty bags again.

---

Chaewon wondered if she turned her own hourglass too early.

She had (unfortunately) adopted a research obsession from Jinsol and was jotting the rope course times in her notebook she kept in her own bottom drawer.

She created a new row for a new name.

Ha Hyejoo.

After the Great Attack that resulted in the loss of the Kim monarchs, a flood of knight candidates took every kingdom by a storm and nearly everyone was inducted to replenish the staff. However, juvenile decisions were made among the teenage knights and many were lost within their first ten quests. The wolves infected a large portion of the population, wanting to outnumber their human enemies and build their own kingdom afresh.

Afterall freshly turned wolves were often wild beasts left to tear apart their own homes while those in control left the scenes, forcing the villages they attacked into the worst situations. Kill or be killed, by your own neighbor.

Silversmith work was at its highest in retaliation.

Fire with fire.

Chaewon could see that both sides were wrong. If it wasn’t for the superiority complex between the groups centuries ago, it wouldn’t have built a crescendo to this war.

(Speaking of crescendos, she should really join Yerim and Heejin for music lessons downstairs.)

The war had lost momentum over the years but it was an unfair fencing bout that brought her mother home, not a victory screech on the frontlines. Outside the castle walls, she knew havoc ensued. Just because her parents slept better at night, and concurrently her knowing she wouldn’t have to sleep with one eye open in case her mother had a nightmare, doesn’t mean the inhabitants of the kingdom did. The older generation left their posterity to suffer, voting for the most draconian laws to keep this carnage at a high.

The princess kept a record to be on the safe side. She needed to know who was the fastest, strongest, most agile, most frugal, and most easy to get along with.

(She adopted her paranoia from her other mother, she wouldn’t want to admit.)

Maybe she would need it one day.

Maybe she would need to pick the best knight to be Head Knight one day.

Maybe what she was really looking for was her own Hyunjin - not that the current one was aging but the knight had done enough for the kingdom already and didn’t even have the highest ranking Dalcom card yet. 

Because maybe - don’t tell her mothers - the war’s end would be far in sight and Chaewon would have to become her own version of Jinsol.

---

Taeyang and Hyorin loved Hyunjin’s headstrong outlook. She was never bullied by other children around the castle and she was never swindled into doing anyone’s dirty work. But right now, it was doing no one in their bedroom favors. Hyorin patted the back of the sleeping Yerim and gave a look to her husband to sort this out.

She had said her piece over fifty times, maybe Hyunjin needed a different voice of reason.

But then again, her husband did name her horse Good Boy.

“We love Heejin just as much as you do…”

“NO YOU DON’T! BECAUSE I DON’T WANT HER TO GO AWAY AND YOU DO!” Hyunjin screamed, showing her rare dramatic flair.

Taeyang blamed her spending too much time with the late Key when he was still as healthy as a horse.

(As healthy as a Good Boy.)

Yerim fussed in her sleep, softening her parents’ enough to take into consideration what Hyunjin was proposing. It was already difficult for the knights to switch shifts to care for two little ones.

Not that Heejin was hard to discipline by all means.

Keeping track of their kids’ whereabouts was enough to cause grey hair. The thought came to ask the court musicians yet they had also just had a new addition join them not that long ago and he couldn’t think to ask them to add another. 

If only Sooyoung didn’t leave so prematurely, having only one child of her own, maybe she could take on another mouth to feed.

(That was a figure of speech, the castle food bill was also footed by the queens themselves.)

They couldn’t take on another responsibility now.

Especially since the closer someone gets to them, the more likely they were to find out about their family tree.

(The freak out they had when they found out Vivi was a healer descendant made them uneasy but it seemed like she didn’t suspect anything. At least humans liked - and exploited - her kind.)

They adored Heejin but it was a risk.

Time for the big swords.

“Hyunjin…”

Hyunjin sniffled, not facing her parents.

“Hyunjin…”

Hyunjin never relented. She would make a good knight one day.

“Hyunjin, you know if Heejin was your sister, you wouldn’t be able to marry her.” Taeyang avoided Hyorin’s incredulous stare.

It’s not like Hyunjin wore her heart on her sleeve but they knew puppy love when they saw it. They could hear Hyunjin’s heart skip whenever Heejin was around, how her temperature rose higher than normal when Heejin held her hand, how the first person she ran to when they got home from an excursion was always Heejin.

Earlier this morning, Taeyang suggested that if Hyunjin wanted Heejin to stay so badly, maybe she could adopt her. After all she did say that “she loved her like a daughter.” Of course she didn’t mean it. She was just in denial. (Hyorin didn’t talk to him until it was time to give the girls lunch for being so abrasive.)

There was no telling if Hyunjin would feel the same years later-

(It would be stronger actually.)

-but sometimes one needed a little embellishment to make a point.

Hyunjin turned around, her nose runny but still high in the air, and accepted defeat.

---

“I hope Aunt Haseul wasn’t too upset,” Chaewon apologized, hastily putting her portfolio away.

“No, she was more focused on Heejin’s singing, making her sing all her favorites,” Yerim flopped on Chaewon’s bed.

They knew what Teacher Haseul was doing. Milking the last moments she could with their beloved cook (and her beloved daughter.) There was no telling when Heejin would return but everyone was trying to leave a good impression on her and make sure Heejin left with happy memories.

All but one.

Chaewon looked outside at Hyunjin working the rope course, making no effort to put it away soon. Yeojin and Hyejoo were tired - not Hyejoo she was just hungry - and were now raiding the kitchen, according to Yerim. Heejin sprinted out of the ballroom to make sure the two didn’t make too big of a mess.

Leaving a teary Haseul behind.

She excused class early which meant Yerim was now in Chaewon’s room, thinking of ideas for Heejin’s parting gift.

“I’m going to miss her but it’s for the best.”

Yerim frowned. Chaewon was starting to sound like Hyunjin and there was only so much stubbornness the handmaiden could stomach.

Chaewon could feel Yerim’s eyes lasering into her but she was trying to remain as subjective as possible. Heejin had treated her well throughout the years, snuck her food while preparing for major feasts and balls, given her summaries outside the classroom for books Chaewon couldn’t finish in time, and never let anyone else take the spotlight when she was praised. Even if she was the first in their generation that remained in the castle, she made sure everyone had equal footing and equal amounts to eat.

She would do well wherever she succeeded.

Chaewon knew that sacrifices came with being a leader, which is what she was born to do. Her parents released many people on staff but she was too young to form a personal connection with them.

She befriended the remaining staff and Heejin was like her older sister.

“You sound like we’re sacrificing her to the dogs.”

Yerim bit her tongue. She didn’t like relegating dogs to beasts but it kept her family history safe. It was her own moral sacrifice she had to make.

But it was nothing like giving up a friend.

---

Yerim was startled by Chaewon’s new look. 

Or should she say Gowon’s new look.

“And who am I again?” 

“Choi Li remember? Keep up Yerim!”

“Hah! You messed up.”

“I mean, Choi Li.”

Chaewon took one last look at her reflection in a nearby puddle, not recognizing herself with black hair. All of that charcoal was going to be hard to wash out. But her light hair color against their dark shades meant it had to Chaewon.

(Maybe they could have Haseul stand outside the castle gates so the rain could wash away some of the charcoal before she could take a proper bath.)

Chaewon and Yerim familiarize themselves with all the entry points in the alley, having ditched their guard to take on the task. (He was going to be fired but all jobs came with sacrifices.) If caught, Chaewon could either run towards the market (which was luckily buzzing with activity), towards the residential area (which was lively due to new residents moving in), or shoot an arrow and get hoisted up.

Yeojin waved from above where she would be watching to ensure Chaewon’s safety throughout the event.

Chaewon made sure her bow and quiver were tucked neatly behind the empty barrels. Yerim joined Yeojin on the rooftop.

Chaewon cleared , still unsure if she wanted to mimic the squeaky rambling of her mother Jungeun or the slow monotone of her mother Jinsol. She was throwing herself to the dogs but she trusted the person she was supposed to meet here.

After all, they lived together.

But only one of them would know that.

---

Vivi was fortunate Heejin didn’t wear too many frilly things as she shoved the last of her formal wear - all five outfits - into her suitcase. Looking around the half empty room, Heejin’s side resembled a barren desert.

Vivi could already feel how cold her nights would be without her adopted daughter sleeping beside her.

When they first moved in together after the adoption, Vivi and Heejin were on different sides of the affection spectrum. Vivi was more reserved and Heejin was a hugger. The former asked for maybe separate beds so Heejin didn’t feel uncomfortable with someone who was supposedly her new “mother.” But hearing the young girl cry out in her sleep, Vivi took her into her arms and rocked her gently, murmuring praise and endearments. Something she’d taught Jinsol to do around Jungeun when she had a crying spell.

Heejin apologized for not addressing Vivi as mom but Vivi was understanding. In fact, she wasn’t sure she wanted to be called that either. As a castle physician, any illness related death put her at fault in her mind. And she had her hands red with Key and IU’s untimely passing.

(No one blamed her. Guilt was a long standing Kim castle tradition. Exhibits A and B: Sooyoung with her family and Jungeun with hers.)

“I heard Queen Taeyeon’s daughter has a library of books.”

Heejin’s head shot up. Vivi was sure going to miss how excited the girl was at simple things.

Kim Seohyun, considered one of the smartest royals of their generation, would have plenty of books to share with her cousin’s dear young chef Heejin. Taeyeon had been reduced as a failure by many since her marriage with the Queen Jessica didn’t follow through. Adding single motherhood to that - no one knows who the other parent was and no one dared to ask - and the public crucified Taeyeon and Seohyun’s image. But they were resilient. 

(Keeping one’s head held high in the face of uncertainty was another Kim castle trait. Exhibits A, B, and C: Vivi and sometimes Jungeun and Sooyoung.)

“I can’t wait. I’ve practically read everything here twice.”

“My own Baudelaire,” Vivi ruffled Heejin’s hair.

“Does that make Yeojin a ‘Sunny Baudelaire’ with her incessant biting?” Heejin joked back.

Years ago, she would’ve never gotten any of Vivi’s references but now that she’s exhausted the library - and some of Jinsol’s private collections - it was time she find new novels to read, new adventures to partake.

New people to fall in love with.

---

“It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

“You of all people should not be telling me that,” Haseul bit back.

It wasn’t that she wanted Heejin to leave. She was an amazing babysitter to Yeojin. Whereas Hyunjin was too stern, Heejin played the roll of good knight to a tee. Also, Heejin was an amazing help in the kitchen, laundry room, courtyard, any room really.

But besides her practicality, Heejin was like family to them all.

Haseul joked that she was like her mother whenever she was asked to look after her when IU was hired for banquets across kingdoms or Key was trading horses for derbies far off.

But she didn’t think she’d be her literal mother.

Literal as in, on paper.

Which is what Jinsol was asking for her to be.

And the example of Jungeun and Jinsol starting off as a paper marriage wasn’t easing Haseul’s worries. Because now the two were madly in love with each other. Haseul was sure Jungeun was off in Vivi’s room, convincing her of the same thing.

(Vivi didn’t need much convincing. She knew how to separate her own emotions to the duties to this family.)

Jinsol was asking for Haseul to marry Vivi so they could adopt Heejin. It wasn’t a masquerade. It wasn’t conniving. It wasn’t even a lie. People wed all the time for benefits, unethical or not.

Whether it was seeking asylum, strengthening trading routes, or love-

(Haseul pretended she didn’t know what the last word was.)

-marriage made decision-making easier and painless.

That’s not to say Vivi would make a terrible wife. With everything she’s done and had to do to earn her spot, she should’ve had a line of suitors out the castle doors. Haseul knew she’d be one of them but Vivi didn’t need to know that now.

Haseul thought she’d have time to earn the older woman’s attention.

But with Jinsol looking at her with her hopeful eyes, Haseul knew she had to commit to this decision. And she didn’t know if she was terrified or hopeful that the Jungeun and Jinsol’s outcome would be able to repeat itself with Vivi and her.

---

“Knock knock,” Jinsol said aloud, accompanying her actual knocking with sound effects in case they couldn’t hear her.

Vivi and Haseul were figuring out what outfit Heejin would travel in so she could finally close up her bags. Haseul was “helping.” She agreed to every statement about what to wear and what not to wear in the Kim kingdom as if she lived there.

Haseul didn’t know anything but Vivi was always right.

They welcomed the queen in, unsurprised that Jungeun was brought along with her, holding hands all the way up until they reached the bed.

“We’re exchanging travelling advice?”

“Yup!” Heejin smiled.

The smile that hadn’t gone away since Jungeun and Jinsol said they’d look into getting her transferred. They were saddened to lose such an important person but they were happy for what would come for their chef and their niece.

“I’d say, make sure a door is a door before you run into it.”

Vivi and Jungeun snorted at the memory of Jinsol first visiting the Kim castle. It wasn’t for a happy occasion but Jinsol headbutting into every floor to ceiling window until she found an entrypoint was still funny.

Jungeun rubbed the back of Jinsol’s hand, wondering what she would have done if she had gotten out of bed to see Jinsol being a fool outside. But then again, her condition kept her in bed for hours, days, and weeks.

“You’re going to do great there Heejin. My cousin will take care of you well and I know my aunt will absolutely adore you.”

“I’m only afraid that she’ll tower over me,” Heejin confessed.

“Oh I wouldn’t worry about that. The Kim family is pretty short,” Haseul chimed in.

“Haseul, how do you know that?”

Queen Taeyeon and Seohyun rarely visited. Since the attacks, the roads have been under strong surveillance and construction on multiple routes has backed up traffic. Also, they had their own kingdom to worry about. Any time the Kim and Jung kingdoms needed to do direct business, Jinsol traveled to them.

“Vivi told me!” The court musician proclaimed, smiling widely from cheek to cheek.

Jungeun, Jinsol, and Heejin tried not to let the confusion paint their face. But Vivi let hers show, tickled that her on-paper wife remembered even the little things she told her.

(Still unaware that Haseul remembered everything Vivi told her no matter how minuscule.)

---

Jungeun was sure she chipped a tooth on her brownie mix, moving her tongue around to make sure she didn’t lose any teeth before swallowing. Jinsol was braver, swallowing whole chunks when she heard her wife struggling to chew next to her. Vivi and Haseul were on their fourth cups of water, balancing the sour pineapple taste with the hazelnut spread on their toasted broad. Chaewon was fortunate to have taken lessons in mannerisms to keep a good face. But she was going to sneak into the kitchen later tonight to eat something with sustenance.

Yeojin and Yerim were competing for first place at who had the most obvious disgusted face.

“It’s that bad?” Heejin squeaked.

Vivi pouted, wishing Hyunjin was there. The young knight would agree with all of them that this “meal” was memorable in its own ways but Hyunjin could console Heejin for her first attempt at head chef. Or at least try. Hyunjin wouldn’t be that cold-hearted even if she pretended Heejin’s existence was a ghost for some reason.

Jinsol and Jungeun shook their heads and before they could get up and console the girl, knowing she was afraid she’d lose her place in the castle, her parents were at her sides.

“Our first time doing things aren’t always perfect. When I first sang a song in front of Queen Hyoyeon and Queen Jessica, I was off tune,” Haseul advised. “And I wasn’t beheaded.”

(Jinsol inhaled sharply at the mention of her mothers.)

“And when I first performed surgery, I forgot to muffle their screams with a towel and didn’t give enough opium for pain relief,” Vivi said nonchalantly, tucking Heejin’s hair behind her ears.

 (Everyone at the table made a silent promise to never get in a situation that required surgery.)

Heejin fought the tears from falling. She thought that if she messed up tonight, she’d be on the next carriage out.

“You still have your place at the castle, Heejin,” Haseul soothed.

“Isn’t that right Your Majesties?” Vivi smiled sickeningly sweet towards the queens, her eyes fiery and determined.

They were still terrified by what Vivi just admitted and nodded adamantly, Jungeun squeezing Jinsol’s hand in fear. But not too hard so she wouldn’t have to have surgery.

Heejin bowed her head in thanks. Tomorrow will be a better day. It was moments like this that reminded her of the importance of found family. Even if anyone could’ve offered advice like Vivi and Haseul did, there was something maternal about the way Vivi clasped her hand on her shoulder and Haseul rubbed her back.

She still couldn’t find it in herself to call them “mom” but she would call them family.

All of them.

How she thought Jungeun and Jinsol, who’ve been so accommodating since she moved in, would fire her on the spot made Heejin get over her self-doubt. She’d try harder for breakfast.  For now, she’d scratch brownies and toast off the menu.

“You know this one’s not so bad,” Yeojin smacked her lips as she tried the toast with grapes on it, making Yerim gag beside her.

---

The Jung castle now had a sauna. Steam rose to the high vaulted ceilings and fogged up the windows. Sooyoung had single handedly prepared dinner and was putting the finishing garnishes on top, quite proud of her work.

Jiwoo giggled as she finished bringing the dishes down, groping for where the counters were in the steam, entertained by her wife the past hour. They were used to preparing meals for three in their cozy hut that Sooyoung went a bit overboard, knowing they’d have leftovers for tomorrow if the food didn’t get too spoiled.

(“Jiwoo this pot is humongous! You can fit a whole swan in here.”)

The castle had a well-insulated cooling storage unit and used the outside air to keep food lasting long. Maybe they could use that to store food.

When Sooyoung felt hands on her midriff, it wasn’t from her beautiful lover, but the former head chef.

“Why aren’t you wearing a full shirt?” Heejin whined.

She didn’t want to harlot-shame but too much skin showing in the kitchen was dangerous. Heejin almost couldn’t find Sooyoung in the steamy room. Touching Sooyoung’s skin was an accident but she went along with it, having to her way through the counters to find who caused this to her kitchen.

No, not her kitchen anymore.

Sooyoung’s kitchen.

Keeping her hands covering the new chef’s stomach, Heejin waddled them over to the windows to vent out the room.

As the room cleared, she took a look at the finished meals and was impressed.The adults she left in her (former) bedroom had high hopes for Sooyoung’s cooking, having missed it when she moved out. They didn’t forget to compliment Heejin who was more adept at incorporating Western flavors into her meals. Whereas Sooyoung was able to make something out of nothing - something she picked up spending days in the woods as a knight.

They would’ve enjoyed them both exchanging their cooking secrets.

One being appropriate kitchen attire.

“Forgive her Heejin, she doesn’t own many full shirts,” Jiwoo apologized. Not having enough money to buy new clothes was a curse and a blessing. Hyejoo overwashed their clothes with her wolf speed because laundry was her least favorite chore, shrinking them in weeks.

With the few days they lived at the castle, Heejin was already disgusted how in love these two were. She had just left one disgustingly cute couple in her bedroom - definitely not her foster parents.

Now as Sooyoung and Jiwoo were talking with their eyes, Heejin needed to leave this room too.

Casting a longing look at her favorite room in the castle, Heejin left the married couple to themselves as she went to say goodbye to the rest of her home.

---

“Are you Gowon?”

“Who is-why yes! Yes, I am!” Chaewon bellowed, scruffing her voice as part of her disguise. She also tried to talk faster as another layer of sabotage.

Heejin looked left and right as she held a wrapped up bundle close to her chest. Years of collecting these cards, particularly for one specific knight, she had to bid them goodbye in order to make enough money for the upcoming knight auction.

The younger girls in the castle knew about it, wanting to help but Heejin refused. So when Chaewon spoke about a villager who would exchange good money for her cards, Heejin was quick to take on the offer.

(Chaewon, Yerim, and Yeojin were still figuring out how to sneak the cards back to her and asked Vivi if the mythical tooth fairy could also deliver trading cards. But that would require knocking one of Heejin’s teeth out and they weren’t sure how to go about doing that safely.)

“You got the stuff?” Chaewon asked, her chin meeting her chest to get the perfect low voice.

“Yes, yes, I do, right here,” Heejin said, handing the wrapped up bundle over.

Chaewon recognized the covering as some of the finest fabrics that only a royal could have. She would’ve scolded Heejin to be less obvious in bartering but that would ruin her disguise.

(Maybe she could write a note when one of them delivered trading cards under Heejin’s pillow after knocking her teeth out. Maybe they could have her make those rock-hard brownies again then it would look like her fault.)

Chaewon was careful not to touch Heejin but the stack of trading cards wasn’t budging. She tugged lightly, not wanting her impatience to show. Or her cover would be blown if she let out her usual whines of irritability.

“I apologize. It’s just...it took so long for me to collect those,” Heejin admitted, wondering if this was a good decision.

There were other ways to go about getting money. Yeojin volunteered to set up a magic show - where she learned magic from she wouldn’t tell - and since the girl was a natural charmer, she could rack in tips that could buy every knight at that auction.

But Heejin wanted to do this on her own.

Chaewon nodded and took the bundle delicately, making a show of stowing it away in her bag so Heejin knew it was in good hands. She made sure that when she handed Heejin the money, she stuck in a few more bills and schillings for Heejin’s trouble.

---

Heejin swept her hand across the desks of the reading room. The room where she received her formal education. Her parents told her one can learn from anywhere, not just from a teacher. Since Jaden was adamant in having a royals-only classroom, Heejin didn’t start her formal education until after Haseul and Vivi became the new teachers.

She could see the sunlight dimming outside the window, signalling her last night at the castle.

Four loud pairs of feet ran into the room, ruining her solemn farewell.

She’d have plenty of time to cry in the carriage ride. It was almost a half-day trip. Right now, she had to be strong for them. As the eldest in their group, she couldn’t show that she was having second thoughts about her transfer.

“There you are. We were looking all over for you,” Chaewon started.

“We weren’t sure what to get you and we don’t have time to go down to the market,” Yeojin said.

“The horses aren’t feeling up to it today.”

Everyone looked at Yerim, wondering how she knew that, and trudged on.

“And it’s not really a gift since it’s yours. But we thought you should have it back,” Chaewon finished.

Hyejoo, who was there for moral support, had no idea why the three castle dwellers were excited to give this to Heejin. Brainstorming of farewell gift, they couldn’t think of anything. No book in the castle would suffice as the recipient most likely would’ve read it and she didn’t care much for expensive gowns and knick-knacks.

Hyejoo shoved their gift into Heejin’s hand, doing her part as she had nothing to say. They were worn-down knight cards but as they shuffled through them, one particular face was a constant.

(“I’ll tell you later,” Chaewon whispered at Hyejoo’s confused face.)

Heejin was in shock as her old deck was handed back to her, wrapped in the same cloth it was in when she gave it to Gowon: the travelling businesswoman and fast poet. They were in the same order she had them in - Hyunjin’s cards tucked neatly every other few cards in the center so in case of flooding, they wouldn’t be too damaged.

(The girls couldn’t return the cards right after knowing they had to deceive, lie, and cheat Heejin to buy them. The East’s notorious swindler won Hyunjin’s hand at the auction making everyone uneasy towards people who lied. Especially Heejin and Hyunjin. )

She opened for an explanation but Chaewon, Yeojin, and Yerim shook their heads no.

“How-?”

“Nope.”

“But-”

“Uh-uh.”

“Who-”

“We’re not telling you.”

“But-”

“Okay, I’ll tell you if you finally call me Aunt Yeojin!”

“I’d rather die first.” Heejin stuck her tongue out at her “aunt” then looked to everyone for some type of clue. Gaze ending on the newest member of their friend circle.

“Yeah, I have no idea what’s going on either,” Hyejoo finally spoke up.

The rookie watched as Heejin brought each other them in for a hug, including herself even if she had only known the girl for a month, amused at how each of them were fighting off breaking down. Even Yeojin was struggling, pounding on her chest to keep the tears at bay. Besides Chaewon, Hyejoo never felt close to someone not of blood-relation to miss them but she sympathized with the girls, hearing someone’s heart throbbing in pain.

(She wondered where the noise was coming from but only saw four girls shaking their heads vigorously and teasing the other for blubbering.)

Hopefully, like herself, Heejin would find a way back to the Jung castle one day and make their family whole again.

---

“And next up, we have the handsome and dashing Dong Hyunjin!” Jo Kwon proclaimed loudly as he gestured towards the curtain Hyunin was gripping the dear life of.

Eight women in particular - one of them behind the curtain who had come to check on Hyunjin before her turn - held their breath as Hyunjin took the stage.

Jungeun was surprised at how angry Jinsol looked as eager men moved closer to the stage to get a better look. She had never seen Jinsol this defensive before. Maybe it was a new side of her she was growing into while she took those journeys out into the woods with the other knights.

“I explained the rules already but let me say it again because I know most of you don’t pay attention to me even if you should. Rule Number One: No men.”

Jinsol smiled, sinking back into her seat as a series of groans echoed throughout the room.

“Rule Two: Only those between the ages of eighteen and twenty-four can bid.”

More groan and one even cursed.

“On it!” Yeojin toppled over Yerim, eager to flex her squire identity.

Yeojin escorted the man out, getting a nod of approval from Jinsol. It could’ve been a date for his sister for all they cared but Jinsol and Jungeun wanted this to sail smoothly. Hyunjin was popular among the kingdom but even if she was guaranteed to be the biggest moneymaker, her safety and wellbeing were more important.

Hyunjin fiddled with her hands as everyone around her wondered her worth.

Haseul and Vivi readied themselves to hand their money to Chaewon - eighteen or not, they knew the queens would make an exception - pooling their money together in case Heejin couldn’t meet the top bid. Jungeun and Jinsol were ready to come up with an argument in case someone they didn’t like won Hyunjin over. After all, their opinion should rule over anyone’s.

Like everyone else in the castle, they wanted only one person to win Hyunjin’s date tonight.

For her sake and for Hyunjin’s.

---

It would be her last sunset in the Jung castle, standing in the middle of the roundabout to see the glowing orb descend into the horizon.

After many tears and laughs, Heejin excused herself from the classroom and said she would be late for supper. Hyejoo had to pry Yerim from her arms and Heejin looked at her friends fondly, knowing Hyejoo was a wonderful addition. She hoped the rookie’s new residency would mean they wouldn’t miss the chef’s absence too much. But she didn’t say it aloud, knowing they’d only argue back that they were equally important.

Jiwoo and Sooyoung had already set the table and would cover dishes so there was no need for Heejin to do anything anymore.

She wasn’t needed anymore.

“So you’re really going?” A voice called behind her.

It was a voice Heejin hoped she would wake up next to every day.

A voice she thought matched with hers completely. In pitch, tone, and timbre.

But that was what she got for reading those romance novels, especially ones where one could plug in your name and another’s name to make it look like the story belonged to them.

“Yeah,” Heejin uttered, unsure what she would turn around to.

Why did she want Hyunjin to be heartbroken over this? To show that there was a chance? Is that why she was actually happy Hyunjin hadn’t said goodbye yet? Because she created some sick fantasy that somewhere in Hyunjin’s life, she mattered?

“I don’t like that you’re not looking at me,” Hyunjin said.

Has she damaged Heejin that much that she can’t even look her in the eyes anymore? All those times she ran away was to keep Heejin safe from her, but at the announcement that it was Heejin’s turn to go, Hyunjin wanted to hold on.

She had wanted to say goodbye many times throughout the day, thinking she had her chance when Heejin was alone in the classroom but ducked into the storage closet when the rambunctious kids barrelled down the hall to give Heejin her cards back.

Cards they both thought Heejin lost.

Cards that represented how much Heejin wanted Hyunjin even when Hyunjin was too stubborn to admit the same.

“I don’t know if I can face you right now.”

“Why?” Hyunjin’s voice broke.

It pained Heejin that she was satisfied with that sound. Why did she want her to care?

“Because if I take one look at you, I might rescind my transfer.”

This move was good for Heejin, that they could agree. But if they stopped the ball in motion, it would mean there was more to them than this friendship they had. This friendship of longing looks and what-ifs and untimely meetings and grim secrets.

How cruel would it be to start something beyond friendship now?

Hyunjin was right behind Heejin now. She could feel her heart beating, having the sound fill up her very soul and wonder why she denied this for so long.

“What if I want you to?”

Heejiin whipped around, tears streaming down her face. Hyunjin had been so focused on her own feelings, she should’ve been able to hear her crying. She had been more than selfish these years and Heejin was going to let her have it.

“You can’t say that. No, you don’t have the right to say that.”

“Heeji--”

“NO! You can’t even stay in the same room with me for more than an hour when you’re here and you-you-you can’t even talk to me about anything other than our family and the weather and what is there to eat in the kitchen. You don’t have the RIGHT to want me to stay.”

Heejin didn’t know why Hyunjin didn’t stop her from pounding on her chest but she pressed on, punctuating her words with her fists. She didn’t want Hyunjin to feel like she deserved such a crass deliverance but Hyunjin showed no signs of interrupting. She needed to release all this tension before the next day.

“I have always counted down the days you have left on your missions until you were back safe and sound. I have always made sure there was food waiting for you. I kept my school notes clean just so you’d stay updated in class. And you gave me nothing Hyunjin!”

Hyunjin could feel every punch to her chest crack and tear down the walls she built. She had unfairly made out Heejin to be this reaper, locking her outside her fortified heart and now she was breaking her way in.

This time, Hyunjin would let her.

“I’m sorry.”

Heejin shook her head. If she accepted her apology, it would mean that Hyunjin’s behavior towards her was justified. She turned her world upside down and Hyunjin should suffer for it. 

“I’m so sorry, Heejin.”

But if she didn’t, she would be fighting fire with fire. And how could one do that to the one they loved? On Chaewon’s eighteenth, Heejin had overhead Jungeun tell the princess that if someone returned, even after being gone for so long, it meant they didn’t mean to hurt you. But it didn't erase the pain.

“You’re right. I am a coward. And it would be foolish for you to accept me. I...I thought I was protecting you.”

Heejin would deny that Hyunjin hands were washed from all the mixed signals she sent her. Hyunjin was guilty. But so was she. She was never upfront about her feelings while Hyunjin ran away from hers.

“From what?”

One day, it would catch up to them.

“From me.”

That day would be tonight.

“I don’t need you to protect me. I’m a grown woman. But I don’t know if you know that since you’re never here!” Heejin didn’t know when she stopped hammering on Hyunjin’s chest but now her hands were resting comfortably on Hyunjin’s shoulders.

“I know,” Hyunjin didn’t know her hands made their way to Heejin’s hips - possibly to steady her and she gave her a well-deserved beating. Or maybe to hold her close and never let go.

The skies black, closing off the world around them, but for the two women in the driveway, their hearts were visible, ready to accept what the other would give.

“I can’t say goodbye to you Heejin.”

“Then don’t.”

Hyunjin squinted, unsure what Heejin meant. She must’ve gotten her cryptic way of talking from Vivi. Her new mother. She never even asked Heejin how her new family arrangement made her feel.

“I never said goodbye to you when you left on your missions.”

“Because I ran away too fast. I was out the door faster than it took you to wake up.”

“No, it’s not that.” Heejin reached up and grazed Hyunjin’s hardened jaw, surprised she was allowed to touch her like this.

Even if it was just for the night.

Even if it would be over by the morning.

“Because I couldn’t say goodbye to you yet.”

Closer than they’ve been in ages, immersed in the warmth they’ve held off on for years, Heejin and Hyunjin shared their first kiss.

---

“Going once. Going twice. Sold to the woman in red,” Jo Kwon announced, pointing towards Hyunjin’s lucky date.

Yerim’s jaw dropped.

Haseul’s eyes bulged out of her head.

Vivi was cutting off the circulation in Haseul’s arm.

Jinsol stood up in protest.

Jungeun did the same.

Chaewon yanked the curtain back to face who bought Hyunjin because that sure did not sound like--

Heejin was two beats away from running away.

A woman that was not her pranced onto the stage, deposited the twenty pounds, more than double the amount of money Heejin had in her pocket - and way more than Haseul and Vivi had prepared - into the pot. Heejin watched as her lifelong crush get taken away from her and could feel her a sharp pain envelop her.

Chaewon kicked herself in the head. She should’ve given Heejin more money. She should’ve set more restrictions. Looking over at her seething parents who were trying to reason with Jo Kwon, she could tell her anger wasn’t the only one felt in the room.

“Hey what did I miss?” Yeojin took her seat next to Yerim.

Unable to verbalize what she just witnessed, which could’ve been the quickest auction in history, Yerim pointed at the stage.

Hyunjin knew she shouldn’t look around the room. Her training had always told her to keep her composure. She was sure anyone could’ve won her hand tonight. Maybe even Heejin if she really wanted her.

(And maybe she did with the way Hyunjin could hear Heejin’s heart hammering out of her chest with each step she took closer to her date.)

But no one stood a chance against this woman: the daughter of one of the richest families in all the kingdoms combined.

Yujin smiled as she held out her hand for Hyunjin to take.

---

“MY EYES! MY EYES!” Haseul wailed.

The six eldest castle residents were watching the sunset, letting the kids get a head start on dinner. Even if they ate triple servings, there would be enough for them when they went down as Sooyoung cooked enough for a cavalry. 

They looked down to what got Haseul’s attention and saw Hyunjin and Heejin in a tight embrace in the driveway, then Heejin tilted her head up and brought Hyunjin for a sweet kiss.

They knew the younger generation was getting to the turning point where they would have to think if they wanted romance or not. It was a given that the two eldest in their generation would be the first to figure it out. With what Vivi, Haseul, Jungeun, and Jinsol have told them so far, Sooyoung and Jiwoo were surprised it took them that long. Hyunjin had the self-discipline of a goddess and Heejin, the patience of an angel.

Swept in their own feelings about what they had witnessed, they settled back in. Jinsol and Jungeun took up one of the lounge chairs, not letting a hair slip between their bodies. Jiwoo sat on the balcony, her legs dangling over the edge. A strong Sooyoung held her steady from behind. Vivi and Haseul stood in the middle, leaning on their elbows, having nothing else to watch now that the sun had gone down and the ground level was not safe for their parental eyes.

“Our little girl’s growing up,” Vivi squeezed Haseul’s hand, a tender expression on her face.

Sooyoung and Jiwoo chuckled. This afternoon, they had found out the two of them had adopted Heejin. Once they got alone time with the queens, they’d tease about the musician and physician’s too-good-to-be-true set up endlessly.

“Yeah, she is,” Haseul squeezed back, mirroring a look of warmth to her on-paper wife.

It then hit all of the parents that Heejin might not be the only one to leave the nest. Once the markets were back in swing, Yeojin and Yerim would be going down to the village more. Inspired by Heejin, they could find their passions and that could be their ticket out of the castle too. Once the ground thawed, Hyunjin and Hyejoo would be out on missions. For the Ha parents, Hyejoo would be away from home for more than her usual days a month. Once the council would notice their calendars, Chaewon would be asked to pick a spouse. For the Jung parents, the clock was ticking way too loud.

(Maybe they should dig up the arranged marriage petition they drafted years ago.)

And once this year came to an end, they’d have to return to their regular lives. School would be in session. Trade lines would reopen. Animals would come out of hibernation.

Jinsol would receive her next assignment out.

“Are you alright my love? You’re shivering,” Jinsol wrapped her arms tighter around Jungeun.

Jungeun nodded into Jinsol’s neck - the other adults looking sadly at the image, wondering what it was like to be in their position. Jiwoo didn’t have to worry about Sooyoung leaving for weeks on end anymore. Vivi and Haseul were gone for a whole day at most.

They’d have to let Heejin go. And Hyunjin. And Yerim. And Yeojin. And Hyejoo. And Chaewon. But Jungeun wished she could stop time and hold onto Jinsol just a little bit longer.

For she was scared that once Jinsol mounted her horse and rode off, she’d go back to her old self and she didn’t know if she was strong enough to become that person again.

 

NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE: NEXT NEW MOON

 

Q (ourtuneisohigh): 2JIN NATION, THANKS FOR BEING SO PATIENT. Blame Hyunjin on this one. We hope the wait was worth it. (The 2jin confession made N cry. Shhhhh. Don't tell them I'm exposing them.) We have two-three more chapter(s) before a time jump occurs so buckle up because knight!Jinsol is about to come back. That aside, I hope you all are having a great 2020 and are saving up your votes for Loona. We're gonna get them that win.  Twitter | CC 

N (LazyNinja on ao3):  This update is one of my personal faves. Hope you enjoyed it, finally some progress for our 2jin and seeing parents ViSeul. Melting my heart at the family dynamics. I put in hard work trying to build the lore and the families, if you’d like to see more about the families or map of the Kingdoms check out my Twitter. Thanks for your comments, take care of yourself, stay hydrated and see you next new moon. Twitter | CC