hi,

i've been doing a lot of thinking and one thing stood out the most- it's unfair.

it's unfair how easy it was for you to just leave when you certainly promised me you won't and i'm still here waiting. it's unfair how i let you see me, my wounds, my scars, everything, and here i left thinking how i probably haven't scratched your surface. it's unfair how i believed everything you've told me, and if i'm being honest, if you tell me anything at all right now, i would believe you. it's unfair how a single word from you reels me right back to you and even thousands of words from me couldn't stop you from leaving. it's unfair. you're unfair.

i know this isn't some kind of breach of contract and you weren't obligated to do the things i would do for you, but couldn't you at least honor your words? was i that irrelevant for you that you just chose to disregard everything you've said? i never asked you to promise me anything, you know that, but you did anyway. you swore things with me. was being dishonest your payback? you got exhausted from lying too much, is that it? 

i'm tired of thinking of reasons why you left, but i can't seem to stop. clearly, there's a reason. i know you loved me, but now i'm questioning if you ever actually did. it's funny what parting does to people. i was quite sure i loved you, and you loved me, but here i am thinking if i was the only one who ever truly loved you. it's redundant, i know. i'm sorry. 

i know you loved me. i know you loved me because watched it in the way you smiled when i crack a joke even though it's not even funny. i know you loved me because i saw it on the curve of your lips, that familiar tug of the corners that simul