I watched how Krystal’s perfectly made eyebrows move until the left one was higher than the other. She's questioning me about your involvement in one of the most heinous crimes I’ve ever seen in flesh and I wanted to hit her pretty face with the sugar ceramic on top of the table booth you have just abandoned but I stopped myself.

 

I’ve never seen her before Tiffany Hwang got killed and you never mentioned her but she knows you. She even called you perfect then she's suggesting stupid things. How could she even say that?

 

 

 

I breathe in and out a few times before speaking because I’m sure her Excellency will not take it kindly if I talk to her not so nicely, after all she’s allegedly one of the most prominent prosecutor in the city Court of Justice. It's not helping that my mind was having a slow mo breakdown about what just occurred between us.

 

 

I hope you get home fine Soojungie.

 

 

"What are you implying?" I asked opting for a safer word choice.

 

 

"If I were you I wouldn’t be so sure that Soojung is clueless about Hwang’s murder." She answered me while examining her perfectly trimmed nails. .

 

 

"Why is that?" I replied politely gritting my teeth.

 

 

"How long have you known Soojung?"

 

 

I tried to blink away my frustration towards the lady beside me. Her she goes answering question with another question again.

 

 

"5 years." I said without hesitation. "Why aren't you answering my questions?" I can't help but add.

 

 

She leaned closer. Too close for my comfort, because she's way way pass the circle of my personal space and she's looking directly in my eyes. The lighting of the room was not helping because up this close, she's you. Really you, with a mole and no scar. It's like she has the perfected version of your face, but I'd always choose the imperfect one.

 

 

She looked surreal, like the one described in novels. I wanted to look away but those eyes were just too much.

 

 

She's whispering.

 

 

"Long enough, can you recognize it if I'll show you something that is apparently hers?"

 

 

I shook my head yes, thoroughly distracted. My mind was going blank because of her scent. Aren’t lawyers supposed to smell like ink and papers and stress? Your evil twin cousin smells like channel 05. I tried hard to focus on the conversation. She was annoyingly distracting. 

 

 

Thankfully she pulled away and took something from the envelope in front of her. She didn’t try to invade my personal space again. She just raised her left hand and moved her fingers, beaconing me to move closer. My brain can not fully register what's going on but the familiar object on top of the manila envelope made me move hastily from my seat.

 

 

 

It's the necklace I gave you on your eighteenth birthday. I raised the ziplocked plastic to see it more clearly. I don't think anyone else can have the same white gold necklace with my family heirloom except if it's stolen from you or if you lost it.

 

 

 

You must've lost it somewhere.

 

 

 

"Where did you get this?" I asked your cousin or twin whoever she is, not looking away from the necklace you used to love so much. I never told you that its pendant was my family heirloom. Maybe I should've told you. Maybe you would have taken care of it more carefully. You and you're terrible things safe keeping.

 

 

"It’s on the shower curtain rod of the toilet where you choose to throw up on." She said simply, snatching the necklace from me.

 

 

"Hey!"

 

 

"This is a very important evidence."

 

 

"Then why is it with you? How come the police didn't see that when they snoop the mansion." I tried to take the necklace back but she has already sealed the manila envelope in front of her.

 

 

It's really a stupid move in my part because again we're dangerously close and she's doing her thing again with those cold onyx eyes. I wanted to look away but I just can't, regardless of how much I was panicking inside.

 

 

"We should really surrender that to the police that'll give them some lead. They don't have suspects yet." I tried to ease the tension within and outside my head by stating the obvious.

 

 

This made Krystal snort.

 

 

"Simple, they didn't try hard enough. Do you want little miss perfect to become the number one suspect?" 

 

 

"I don't like what you’re implying." I said matching her tone. It's as if I was on trance and she's doing it purposefully. I managed to look away from her. She didn't like that though. She held on to my chin with her index finger and forced me to look back at her.

 

 

 

"Think about it."

 

 

 

"They'll...they will charge- yes they'll probably file an administrative case against you, or obstruction of justice or, and and.."

 

 

"I know, but they are getting desperate. Do you want Soojung to become a sacrificial lamb? The general demands arraignment by next week."

 

 

"Soojung is innocent!"

 

 

I managed to pull away from her out of anger. I was angry all of a sudden. All I wanted is to be with you, not to get involved with this kind of mess. It's not helping that there's military involved. I was breathing heavily and Krystal seems to be enjoying my reaction, she's looking at me amused.

 

 

 

"Help me prove her innocence then."

 

 

 

She patted my head, while looking at her wristwatch. I just stared at her. My mind was starting to race again. You can't get involved in this kind of mess. I'm pretty sure it’ll be almost impossible absorb the fall out this time. My worry overcome the anger.

 

 

I started contemplating about possible loopholes, the slightest bit of technicality that can make you not part of this mess. My heart won't stop beating fast even though. We kept silent for a long time. Krystal was busy with her phone tapping furiously. She seemed uninterested in continuing our conversation.

 

 

 

"Prosecutor Jung, got everything already let’s get going." 

 

 

 

Seulgi came out nowhere, carrying coffee and a briefcase. Your evil twin's eyes didn't even leave her phone's screen when she spoke to her.

 

 

 

"I'll just follow you there, here take this with you."

 

 

She motioned her hand towards the manila envelope on top of the table. I waved hi to Seulgi to make her aware of my presence. She smiled at me and I smiled back at her, feeling a little better.

 

 

"Hello there Ms. Liu. It's nice seeing you here." Seulgi said politely before leaving. She didn't wait for my answer but I really don't mind. I was still watching as Seulgi march out of the coffee shop when Krystal spoke again.

 

 

 

"You should start researching again. Investigate. I want you to give me the whereabouts of these persons at that day. "

 

 

"Isn't that police work? Besides I'm not agreeing to this yet."

 

 

"Just do it. You know who are involved, I don't think our friends can access everything until it's too late."

 

 

"I said I'm not agreeing."

 

 

"You will do it."

 

 

"What makes you think that?"

 

 

"Because you don't want Soojung to be accused of murder."

 

 

I glared at Krystal and she had the audacity to smirk at me. Great. Your evil twin take my glare as a yes.

 

 

"I want this done before 5 tomorrow."

 

 

"I can't. I have part time work."

 

 

"Then till 8, end of discussion."

 

 

"Why me?"

 

 

"Why not? Come on, walk me to the car park. I can't get soaked because of you right?"

 

 

"What?"

 

 

She didn't answer my question, she just stood up and walked towards the exit. I heaved a sigh before following her. I need to know more, or so I say to myself.

 

 

"This is conflict of interest." I voiced out the concern that has been bugging me even before I know the other details of the case.

 

 

I reached her arm, as I try to make her slowdown a little. She looked at me like she's bored and annoyed at the same time.

 

 

"That's not your problem Ms. ert. Give me your umbrella."

 

 

"I don't have one."

 

 

"Perfect." She said in her annoying monotone. I watched her, as we stand side by side near the entrance of the coffee shop.

 

 

We must look like a very odd pair for the patrons that were looking at us curiously. I can't blame them. Krystal looks like she walked straight out of a magazine catalog of pencil skirt while I look like a homeless skinny kid.

 

 

It's surprising that I was actually taller than her now that we’re standing side by side. It was comforting in a sense. Her confidence was infuriating and attractive at the same time. The fact that she knows and she looks like she couldn’t careless it makes it worse.

 

 

I was gawking at her like the first time we saw each other. She was still busy tapping her phone furiously and she didn't seem to mind my hand on her arm but I took off my grip on her.

 

 

That caught her attention. She turned to her side, looking at me curiously. Not really bothering to hide that she's staring at me from head to toe. It's not the demeaning stare though. She just looked curious genuinely curious. I refrained from doing the same again. I need to concentrate on other things. Like having another conversation with you. I wonder how I can make that happen.

 

 

A loud horn blows outside the cafe and Krystal hurriedly moved towards it. The rain was pounding hard on the sidewalk and even those people who have umbrellas were getting wet. It was annoying how your evil twin cousin just walked gracefully out of the door and I instinctively took off my jacket and held in on top of your cousin's head as she moves towards the cars passenger’s seat.

 

 

Is this lady for real? I was dripping wet when we reached the car but I really don't mind, since it's already apparent that I'll have to go home at this state anyway.

 

 

Krystal didn't even thank me when she got inside the door. She just get in, look back at me, then she was gone.

 

 

***

 

I sneezed as I pull my sweatshirt over my head. I feel like hell after my rain adventure but I cannot not go to work today. There are bills to pay.

 

 

Things were tougher for me these days. I no longer live in our house, because I just gave up making my mother understand.

 

 

She still thinks that I am sick or something like that. I don't know how she think she can "cure" me, but I just give up when she make me stay in the seminary because apparently it'll heal my disease. I wish you we're there when this things happen, so I can share it to you. I bet you'll have a good laugh when I told you the whole story.

 

 

I stared at your coffee mug in my kitchen cupboard as I thought of the stories I longed to tell you. I don't think you'll have time for it though. On our last conversation, a lot of things have become obvious, but I still want you back, I guess. A part of me still want you back no matter how much mess you would bring to my boring life.

 

 

 

I get the apartment keys from the drawers beside the fridge before scampering out of my empty home. I have an appointment with a client today. Like usual, I let them choose the meeting place even if commuting to wherever could be tough at times. It’s one of those days when I have to take the bus and then the train.

 

 

 

 

The bus was easier part. It’s not rush hour yet. I took the seat beside the window, two seats from the driver side. My phone has been ringing since I stepped in, but I ignored it. I knew pretty well who it was because of the ringing tone.

 

 

 

~If Heaven and Hell decide, That they both are satisfied, Illuminate the "No"'s on their vacancy signs~

 

 

 

Your sister was on one of her moods again.  I wonder what happened this time, though not curious enough to want to listen to her whine the entirety of my bus ride. I would have kept on ignoring her until my stop if not for the nosy teenage girl beside me.

 

 

 

"Can you please answer that Mr. It's annoying"

 

 

 

I looked at her for a moment, she's chewing a bubble gum and she's looking at me like she knew better. I ignored her, but I answer the phone.

 

 

 

"Hello Jess?"

 

 

"Why do you sound like that, are you sick?"

 

 

"Cold, what is it this time?"

 

 

"You really should bring umbrella kiddo, tsk tsk.. Come to the hospital please. Let's eat lunch here, Vic brought baked mac."

 

 

"I have a 2:00 jess, I dunno if I can come."

 

 

"Oh please, just get your skinny here, I promise to give you a ride."

 

 

"But-"

 

 

 

"No, buts besides I have a news about baby jung. Don't you wanna know?"

 

 

 

"Fine. I'll be there in 10."

 

 

 

"Seeyah babe. Kisses."

 

 

 

"kay, bye."

 

 

 

I slumped against the back of my seat as I pocketed my phone. I wonder what you could have done in the duration of 2 hours Soojung? I hope your sister can give me a good news about you for a change.

 

 

I can feel someone staring at me, so I look to my side. The teenage girl is looking at me funny.

 

 

"You're a girl."

 

 

I just stared at her.

 

 

"You're too handsome for a girl. Are you real?"

 

 

She moved to touch my face but I slapped her hand. I looked at her coldly and she got the message. She moved to the vacant seat behind us. No one bothered me again until I get off the bus.

 

 

 

I don't know why but the encounter with that girl made me angry. I tried to control my breathing by counting before inhaling and exhaling. It will not do everyone any good if my temper issues will be back again.

 

 

 

My conversation with you must have shaken me more than I thought.

 

 

 

I walked towards the direction of the hospital with the unexplainable anger in my chest. Oh no Soojungie this is not good.

 

 

The drizzle made my red hair get wetter, as my shoes make a rhytmic sound in the familiar pavement. We used to walk this direction before you choose that guy over me.

 

 

I held on to my chest, my fist gripping to the fabric of my sweatshirt. I breathe deeply through my nose. How can you do that to me Jung Soojung? I did everything. I tried to be anyone you wanted me to be. I tried sickly sweet because you wanted that. I tried touchy and affectionate because you said that made you happy. I tried nice because you told me I shouldn't be rude. I stopped smoking because you said you'll leave me if I don't.

 

 

 

I didn't light a single cigarrette stick for 3 goddamn years but you still left me alone.You're a liar!

 

 

She's a liar.

 

 

Says the voice in my head.

 

 

Ungrateful liar.

 

 

The voice whispered softly.

 

 

I sat on the bench near the side entrance of the hospital to make the voice in my head go away.

 

 

She left you. She left you like everyone else.

 

 

"Stop that. Stop it. She didn't. She didn't. Soojung loves me. She wants me back" I said to myself again and again. I didn't mind how pathetic I look to the passerbys. I just want the voice to stop.

 

 

"What are you doing?"

 

 

I looked up to see the nosy intruder still whispering to myself. Her head was tilted to the side, she's staring curiously at me.

 

 

"Soojung?!"

 

 

I embraced your waist tightly the voices in my head stopped. I can feel you squirming from my grip. I held on tighter.

 

 

"Don't leave me again. Please. Please..."

 

 

You stopped struggling. My whole body was trembling and I was sweating like crazy, panting over the fabric of your shirt. We stayed like that for a what seemed an hour, or probably just a minute. I don’t know, I just hold on to you to make the heavy feeling in my chest slowly dissipate until it's gone.

 

 

"Thank you Soojung." I whispered to your tummy. You smelled like channel 05. You must have changed your perfume, you smell like burberry summer a while ago. I shrugged it off, I didn't let go until I've regain my breathing. You're just standing like a statue in front of me. I must've surprise you.

 

 

"I have all the blood samples now, what does Dr. Song ad...Hello again Ms. Liu."

 

 

 

We both snapped our heads to the direction of the voice. The lady I've been hugging a while ago was still leaning a little towards me. Seulgi was looking at us funny.

 

 

"I'll wait in the car." she dismissed herself before either of us have spoken. 

 

 

I swallowed again and again not really knowing what to do. I'm just thankful at this point that the voices has stopped before I hurt anyone again. Stupid temper. Stupid Voices. Stupid Amber. I'm sorry Soojung.

 

 

I heaved a sigh.

 

 

"That never happened. Fix yourself. I need the files 8pm sharp."