It was going to be okay. Only one of the few lies Byulyi had told her that day. Everything had changed. Not nothing. Everything. Lies. Fake promises. 

Yongsun couldn’t hate her. Not really. It seemed that she had reacted better than she expected. But how can you even react when your best friend of nearly ten years tells you she’s in love with you? Honestly, she couldn’t blame Byulyi either.

A month had gone by. Easily for Byulyi it seemed. They hadn’t even talked about it. As if Byulyi had forgotten the entire conversation. Not just the promises. Yongsun almost believed the confession was just another one of her dreams. 

But everything had changed. 

A month ago. Only one bedroom was ever used.They ate breakfast together. Dinner together. Byulyi still smiled at her. They talked. They were best friends. A month ago, they did everything together. 

Now, they did nothing together. Talking only when necessary. At home together if there was nothing better to do. Friday sleepovers long forgotten. No hellos. No goodbyes. No good mornings. No good nights.  No calls. No texts. No bickering. No arguing. Nothing. 

At first, Yongsun didn’t cry. Only because she didn’t understand why and what was she grieving for. A week after their conversation, Byulyi’s strange behavior couldn’t be blamed on simply stressful and busy schedules. Yongsun had waited to eat dinner together every day for a week. Tired of waiting she would eat alone but leave a second plate on the table. In the morning the food remained untouched. Just as she had left it the night before. Yongsun slept on the right side of her bed. The left side of her bed waited. All night. The waiting never stopped. And Yongsun gave up after a week. 

Even though they didn’t have the time to hang out everyday they at least made time to eat dinner and go to bed together. But that was a month ago. And now everything had changed.

Had they not lived in the same apartment, Yongsun might as well have disappeared. Yongsun became a ghost to Byulyi. What could she have expected. Day by day she had pulled away further and further. Until she were strangers. Just two people sharing an apartment for no reason except that they were broke college students who couldn’t afford it alone and moving out was too much work. 

Their second bedroom, Byulyi’s designated room when they had first moved in never really had been used unless their friends slept over. Until now. The left side of her bed stayed vacant but their second bedroom now occupied.

Nothing hurts like a broken heart. They never had the chance to be anything more but it certainly felt like a break up. More like a divorce at this point. Maybe that’s why it hurt the most. Yongsun had a taste of what something more felt like with Byulyi. It wouldn’t have hurt as much if she hadn’t had the dream. Yongsun lived in a reality in which Byulyi loved her. How could she forget the love? The Woman? But alas, the Woman of her dreams and belonged only in her dreams. Finally, a dream that wouldn’t come true. 

From best friends to absolutely nothing. She didn’t have much of a choice. Yongsun couldn’t will their friendship back again if Byulyi didn’t want it. It wouldn’t be fair anyways. But anything would be better than getting treated like thin air. Even if they had argued, it would’ve been better. There would’ve been a clear reason for this cold war. 

People were beginning to notice. Their friend group especially felt Byulyi’s absence. They would all hangout now. But no Byulyi. Her arsenal of made up excuses to avoid meeting with them was never ending. At most she would hang out with only one member of their group. The one time they had trapped her into meeting up with them all, Yongsun included, Byulyi had sat herself farthest from Yongsun and had seemed to forget to say hello to her. Greeting everyone but Yongsun. Interacting with everyone but her. Wheein and Hyejin had even Yongsun if they had been fighting again. But Yongsun didn’t really know the answer to that. No one really knew what Byulyi’s deal was. But it was clear Byulyi was doing her best to pretend like Yongsun didn’t exist.

Rather it appeared that she preferred Sandeul’s company. Yongsun had heard from her friends. Once their friends