Byulyi was not yet ready to be a fool. 

Certainly, she loved her mother and her mother loved her. But now the question is when would she begin to love herself more. 

When they were younger. The two best friends, bored out of their minds during one of their routinely sleepovers began some form of twenty questions. They lay side by side on Byulyi’s bed, the time nearing four in the morning. The tranquil silence of the dormant night enveloped them. Only their soft breathing and sound of the clock ticking on the wall pierced the quiet. The two basked in the gentle warmth they felt from each other’s presence, slowly giving into the lull of sleep. 

“Would you give up your family for the one you loved? Like if your family didn’t approve of them or something?”, Yongsun had innocently murmured so long ago. 

“Yeah, of course. I think would do anything for the one I love. Even if my family didn’t approve”, Byulyi had replied earnestly and almost immediately, certain of how she would react if the time ever came for her to make the choice. 

“Really?”, Yongsun had questioned, shocked by Byulyi’s certainty in her answer. 

“Yeah, I would do anything for love. What would you do?”

“Nothing. I love my family too much. I couldn’t do it”

The memory invaded her mind in the form of a dream. Her own words haunted her as she realized the time had come and she had forgotten her earlier passion for her unknown lover from so long ago. The dream played everyday like a broken record. And she was ever the hypocrite. When Yongsun had been the one to vehemently disagree with Byulyi but still the one to confess. 

Byulyi hadn’t really understood before what Yongsun had given up to her on that night so months ago. It wasn’t just a confession. Yongsun had put herself out there. With candor and love. Regardless of the consequences. Knowing that she, Byulyi might not feel the same for her. Not knowing how Byulyi would react. Yongsun had done it still. 

And I still couldn’t even be there for her as a friend?

I promised her parents to take care of her. I promised her I would be there for her always. I promised myself I would always make sure she was okay. 

I failed. 

Finally, Byulyi had come to the realization of her failures as a friend. Failure to keep up her promises. 

She had hurt Yongsun. Though it was inevitable. Byulyi didn’t return her feelings and left Yongsun as a friend too. She had consoled her only to leave Yongsun’s bed before she woke up. 

The dream. Her words. Echoed endlessly in her mind. Tugging at her willpower to do something. Anything. 

She knew that no words could take away the hurt she had gifted Yongsun but an apology was months overdue. 

Yongsun casually thanked Wheein and Hyejin when they had gone out for coffee between classes. Thanked them for taking care of her drunken self. Even going as far as to say, “I can’t believe you guys even remembered to close the curtains and you left Advil for me”.

“What?! We did?”, Hyejin had retorted instantly, forgetting that Byulyi had taken care of her. 

“Yeah we did remember”, Wheein elbowed her with a stern nod, “Hyejinnie was so drunk she forgot unnie. And it was no problem at all.”

“Yeah it was nothing. You would’ve done the same for us”, Hyejin attempted to cover up with a pained expression on her face. 

Yongsun stared weirdly at the two but didn’t think too much about their behavior. The two had exchanged uneasy glances before uncomfortably following the older one into the coffee shop. 

They were shocked by Byulyi’s behavior towards Yongsun. But knowing her secret it made sense. They hoped that their two older friends would make up eventually. Maybe there was some hope. 

Yongsun had even offered to pay for their coffee. Though guilty their taste buds and sleep deprivation couldn’t say no to free coffee. And if Yongsun was offering, there was no harm right?

Hand shaking with nerves, Byulyi, reached up knock on their apartment door. Usually she would let herself in with her own keys but she needed a way to approach Yongsun. Thus she had resorted to pretending she had forgot her keys inside the apartment when she had went