Nothing hurts more than the person you love, loving someone else. Taunting you. In front of your own eyes. Forgetting you. Being okay without you. In other words, Yongsun was bruised and battered from Byulyi’s new blossoming relationship with Sandeul and all the ones in the past. But never had Byulyi ignored her for a relationship. Never put her second. Until Sandeul. Seeing and hearing about them together was a punch in the gut every time. 

Yongsun had held her hopes for years that Byulyi would one day figure out her feelings. But that day seemed nonexistent with the way life was progressing lately. Byulyi would fall in love with Sandeul and Yongsun left behind in the dust again. She knew at times she was desperate. But how can one rid themselves of a love so strong so easily. So quickly. 

What perfect time to dream when the other was carefree and in love with someone else, Yongsun sarcastically commented to herself. The dreams that she never failed to enjoy and gave her some purpose as she attempted to turn them to reality, now simply annoyed her. Starting the past few weeks, she would dream of a Woman. Being together. In the ways she wished for years. The Woman. Hers. Yongsun. The Woman's. Just one hit of loving her Woman. Real or not. And she couldn’t get enough. Though determined to create a truth, rather than living a fantasy, not only Yongsun’s feelings were involved this dream. 

A soft warmth enveloped her hand. The salty wind gently rippled through her long, dark velvety tresses, pushing it into her eyes. Successfully, obscuring her vision. Familiar, thin fingers tenderly brushed the hair behind her ears. She could see now.  Down. Barefoot. Damp golden sand glittered and crumbled with each step forward. Up. A handful, bleached cottony clouds lounged along the immaculate sky blue. The warmth holding her hands guided her forward. Right. Clear, pale waves barely tinted a bright blue lightly kissed the warm sand. Left. Her hands were intertwined with the well-accustomed source of warmth. The warmth. A Woman. Pulling her forward. She was smiling. Love in her eyes. Love in her smile. Love in her touch. Yongsun realized a few things right then. First. She would give anything be witness that same smile forever. Til the day she died. Anything. Second. Anywhere the Woman led. She would follow. Anywhere. Whatever the path. She would. For Yongsun. It was enough. Third. Love. In her. Around her. With her. Love is her. 

A beach vacation. Yongsun had been barely six years old. Only her family had been there. No Woman. In the dream she was herself now. But it was no fantasy. It had really happened. Starting with the beach, the Woman inserted herself into Yongsun’s favorite memories. The revised memories now plagued Yongsun’s dreams. 

The dreams continued. Every day. Every time her eyes closed. Relentless. As if they were making up for their lack of presence the past few years. Dream by dream. The Woman built a home in Yongsun’s heart and mind. Driving her crazy. Days turned to weeks now.

These kinds of visions didn’t simply leave Yongsun delighted and carefree like she had felt in the dream. They left her hungry. They were torturous. Yet perfection. Which disappeared the moment her eyes opened. Now the Woman and her were in love. But not together. 

Sleep and the Woman both she did her best to avoid. 

Going to sleep meant living and breathing in a world which the Woman loved her as Yongsun loved her. But waking up meant living in a world which the Woman loved someone else and Yongsun still loved her. Sleep meant they were happy together. Awake, only the Woman was happy. But Yongsun knew she would give anything to keep that smile on the Woman’s face. Even if that meant letting someone else be the cause of that very smile. How could she turn these dreams to reality without sacrificing her self to the Woman and only hoping that she too would fall in love. Together. When the Woman was already happier than she had ever been with someone else. She would never get what she wanted.

Yongsun was