Understanfing

I feel hurt,in pain...how can i love you?
 
 
After i reached my home i was still crying...it was time to eat but i wasn't in the mood to,so i went to take a shower.Those words,damn if they stink.
 
 
"What?Amikably?Try not to fight whos fault it is? Are you kidding me?" My saddness became rage,such a thing it killed all the feelings i had left for him.
 
 
"Yea,i was at fault too,but is he not the same?"
 
 
In fact this went on for months,i became so skinny in such a short time. My finger could not hold my ring anymore,but it was always with me...But people always tought i was about to divorce,that i was cheating with his friend...and in the end he belived it too...he didn't trust me. They where right we started to... What it made me so mad...was that he gave such a statment even before talking it out with me. What am i? A pushover?
 
 
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"I screamed,screamed like there was nothing holding me back.I was hurting inside,i was in pain...but here at this moment no one cared...in the end...i am only the one who cheated with his friend...and his statment hinted to that clearly,like it was my fault...
 
 
I crumbled on the ground withouth strenght to get up,i called my company CEO.
 
 
"Hi..."
 
 
"How are you?"
 
 
"Not well"I said with a rough voice...he heard it.
 
 
"What do you want to say?"
 
 
"I won't talk in person...i will just let you be my voice"
 
 
"I understand"
 
 
"Tell that it was just a difference in personalities,and nothing more"
 
 
"Only that?...Don't you want to vent your anger?"
 
 
"I won't and you won't let me either.I think the best now is just to make things go like this,if i attack him more than i should, everything will become bigger that it is.My image is tarnished already if i attack then...i must as well keep a low profile"
 
 
"People will talk anyway,saying you are cold and so on"I made a small smile with no strenght.
 
 
"Yea...let them do what they see fit. I know what really happened...i am already destroyed..."
 
 
"...I will do as you say..."I look at my phone.
 
 
"Will you abandon me too CEO?"
 
 
"ARE YOU AN IDIOT?WHO DID YOU TAKE ME FOR"!" I wanted to laugh but i had no strenght.
 
 
"Thankyou..."
 
 
"Gosh,just go to bed and relax.Making a statment in person...one day you should address things anyway think carefully about it later on let's decide on a day...it could help in clyrifying you"
 
 
"I know...but now i am not ready..."
 
 
"...Take care"
 
 
"...yea"I hang up the phone and leave it there in a corner. I want to throw a fit at him,i really want but it's humiliating too much humiliating and i don't want to see him...
 
 
Days went by,rumors spread all over becaming a mess.As i tought i became a cheater while he was just a handsome guy suffering from his wounded heart,free from every responsability he ever had.Yea,it's always like this for women...
 
 
I kept working,even tought many brands decided to withraw their offer to work with me.This is absurd.I may be a divorcee but what it matters to people? Well i myself became a brand only...there is nothing i could even do to make them see things trought,i am not going to beg them,i have my pride.
 
 
"Kyo...how are you feeling?"
 
 
"I ...am trying to move on"I hint a smile.At every event i try to make myself more charming and happy,but even this is making people think that they where right,that i was happy about the divorce...but he was the one to want it first,now i really wonder what he is up to...maybe he is the one to have a girlfriend hidden somewhere.
 
 
As the week went by,the declaration left by my company had my toughts about the matter,after that i had to talk with him and decide when to meet to sign the documents. If this is what he want to do,i surely won't beg him.
 
 
DRRRRRRR.I look at my phone and it was him.My eyes went cold as i let the phone ring for a bit.
 
 
"Wow...so persistent he really want to divorce"After awhile i picked up.
 
 
"...yobuseyo"
 
 
"......why did you answer only now?"
 
 
"Just wanted to see your persistence"
 
 
"I am going trought with it."He said with his serious voice.
 
 
"...When do you want to meet to sign the papers?"I said seriously too as my hands cletched holding a piece of my dress in my hand.
 
 
".......right now..."My eyes trembled as i tryed not to make my voice waver.
 
 
"Now it's impossible"
 
 
"What?Are you delaying time now?"A fish tank like you? No,you understimate me.
 
 
"My lawyer,today he was having a case of his own. That's why now it's impossible...After i talk to him i will call you."
 
 
"Fine..."
 
 
"Fine..."
 
 
"..."
 
 
"..."He hung up on me...i close the phone and call my lawyer. After talking briefly he gave me the days that he is free to be there with me.
 
 
"Kyo we have to shoot"
 
 
"Fine"I will call him later.
 
 
.....Few hourse later i call him back he was ready to answer me.
 
 
"So quick."I say.
 
 
"I was waiting"
 
 
"I could tell"
 
 
"So?When is he free?"
 
 
"Well the day most near is tomorrow,i bet this is fine for you"
 
 
"...another day?"
 
 
"What?Are you delaying?"
 
 
"...i have a conference for my drama"
 
 
"...I see...well there is the day after tomorrow and so on,these days he can spare a few hour for us...you decide"
 
 
"...the day after tomorrow"
 
 
"...fine...this time i am the one to hang up first.
 
 
Sigh...i am exausted. I fell like fainting.
 
 
"Kyo...are you ok?"
 
 
"I am, don't worry"
 
 
"You are not fine at all,are you kidding me?"
 
 
"The day after tomorrow i will be officially single"I said looking at the sky"
 
 
"..........THIS IS CRAZY!THAT MAN IS A JERK!"Let him be we are fault on both sides.
 
 
"Ya i think he is the one cheating"
 
 
"I don't care...let's go" I put myself together and head to my car.
 
 
"Where to?"
 
 
"Home. i am tired"
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