One owns fault

I feel hurt,in pain...how can i love you?
 
Song hye kyo arrived at her hotel room,she assured her manager that she was ok and that she wanted to be alone,hesitant the manager agreed to her request and left.But she was behond rage in that moment.So much that she threw to the ground her small new brended purse.
 
 
Kyo calm down.You need to stay calm or else it would be all in vain, everything you did in the past few years.She sat down after she remainded herself to keep calm.
 
 
"This is crazy...i can't belive it, just how much time should i wait to have a life where i can be happy?What did i ever do so wrong?"As she remembered what happened with him some time before, she can't help but cry for the rage she felt.She cried like she didn't in years,silently but it was heartbreaking.
 
 
In the mean time song jong ki was instead inside the airplane to go back in korea. Even there he felt a mix of emotions.What she said made him feel as if he was the bad one,while she admitted to her faults he should have been overjoyed but he wasn't.When she said that she rejected many work job just to stay with him a few minutes more it was like he was slapped in the face. Crae,the fact that she didn't say anything it was just like her, she never really talked much about some things but she was sincere,still she never said a word and he misunderstood her times and times again. Then when she asked if he was cheating he didn't know how to answer.Saying that he was seeing another woman may not be entirely true,but he can't even say it wasn't. The reality of things was there.When things where going the wrong way he suffered about it,a lot, and in those times a girl stayed by his side. It was kim ji won. Crae,it was her,they started to work together and seeing him that way she tried to confort him.In those times he felt reassured and talked to her about a lot of things related to his marriage and one day...he did it.He kissed her. Even tought she wasn't happy about it,she didn't dislike it either and so it happened a few more times outside working hours. While working together,maybe because he was too immersed or maybe because he really felt something for her,song jong ki did his best in the scenes with her,showing what was in his mind and heart. But when he went back home the reality always struck him hard.Between them started a cold war.She began to work much more and he only fought with her when he saw her,love faded,jealousy was taking over him,doubts and many more things.When rumors about him cheating surfaced he became angrier and degenerated the relationship with her,maybe because of guilt but he did hurt her.During the times she was linked to his friend he couldn't understand why she did it.No matter what, he had to stop this mess.He accused her,like it was all her fault no matter how many times she tried to explain, he was way too mad and in the end he decided to let go,the soon the better.Thinking that maybe it would work with kim ji won.
 
 
After he made public his intentions he was happy to know that she would see it from the news,it was like he wanted to punish her when in reality he didn't have the courage to admit his own fault,still keeping his image. He new well that the one to get the more blackleash would be her so it didn't really matter to him but then he realized,maybe too late. What he have done. Kim ji won felt guilty towards song hye kyo and decided to end things.He was sad and felt strangely alone,he tought about the reason she would have left him,there was no need to feel guilty,but she was and decided to leave. But the maddest thing was that even tought he felt alone it wasn't because of the things kim ji won said to him,in reality he didn't even care as much as he tought. But...when he saw the news and what people where saying about song hye kyo he felt it,her lonliness,the way she became so thin,her beautiful self seemed so fragile. The day kim ji won decided to leave him,as he watched the news of song hye kyo, suddenly it started to rain. As if the sky where trying to wash away the mess he made.Even tough he new it would never leave his head.
 
 
Time passed,rumors slowly died down, at least they wheren't as persistent as the beginning. He felt guilt toward song hye kyo but could never apologize to her. Still sometimes he found the will and curiosity to search online about what she was doing but it was only sometimes.In the end people around him always gave him news about her,even if he didn't ask,for exemple now she is active in entertainment shows too and her popularity arose by leap and bound.Sometimes a smile crossed his lips since he knows how funny she could be,but then he went back to his unisterested self.In the past after the divorce many of his friends told him off,telling him how stupid and what a jerk he has been toward song hye kyo and a few even decided to leave his side,similar to yoo ah in,who really cherished song hye kyo. Not to mention park bo gum,who was in a really bad position because of him.Park bo gum wasn't an idiot and knew well that song jong ki wasn't all that good so even he decided to leave his side.Their friendship ended.Kwang soo remained,but he always scoled him for what he did. . This is another reason for being mad with her.
 
 
During the past years he had a few girls,he always wanted to make it sound like it would be something serious with each of his relationships,but who knows why,it never went past a month or a year and people found out even tought he really wasn't happy about it. In those moments he could understand her feelings about when people accused song hye kyo of falling in love with every one of her coostars,but it was too late to even admit it to himself.
 
 
One day he was asked to star in a new show in china, it was the type who became a hot topic in just a few years for their strange setting on things.He decided to participate because it was a good opportunity for him.But if he knew,if he knew just who was going to be there,no way he would have gone there,not in a million years.
 
 
The one he wanted to avoid the most...Song hye kyo.
 
 
It was the first time in many years that they saw each other,it was the first time that he was able to look at her in the eyes again,she became more beautiful as they grew apart from each other. She was incredibly cute in her costume.When they where paired up,it all seemed like a set up.It was the worst in every way.But then again earing her voice again had an effect on him.Even the way she talked was really different from before.It seemed like she became more mean,she new how to say such hurtful things and then when he became even meaner she finally left a bomb to his feet. When she left...she said
 
 
"Just let me tell you one thing.I may have done things that hurt you,i am sorry for that,but i tried my best to adapt to my married life with you,you may not know but i gave up many things and project to spent a day more with you because...i really loved you and cherished you.But it seemed like i didn't show it enough..."
 
 
Since that very moment,not once did he forget those words.Why,why did she say those words?Why now?Why...did he miss her all of a sudden?
 
 
 
A big thaks to my friend Kirtijain for all you support,thanks dear!.
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