CHAPTER 5

After dropping Wheein off at their company building, Moonbyul and Hyejin went straight to Seulgi's apartment. Apparently, Seulgi invited Moonbyul, Hyejin and Minhyuk to hang out on Seulgi's apartment to drink since they all have free time on that day. Unfortunately Wheein and Irene both have a schedule for recording they weren't able to come.

Hyejin was riding shotgun on Moonbyul's car, noticing that her friend was in deep thought.

"Hyejin-ah." Moonbyul starts, her voice was just above a whisper, seemingly embarrassed.

"Hmmm?" Hyejin hums as she looks at her unnie's direction.

Moonbyul then shakes her head, deciding not to continue whatever she's about to say.

"Byul-ssi, just spit it out." Hyejin encourages her, she's too curious to let whatever it is to slip away from their conversation, or lack thereof.

"Eric and Yong never got together?" Moonbyul finally asks, she believe what Yongsun said but she felt like asking Hyejin to somehow make it feel realer.

"Yes." Hyejin confirms. "Never." she said, looking at Moonbyul for any sign of regret, and she found it through Byul's eyes. "That's what happens when you don't ask."

The night when Moonbyul made a scene was never brought up again up until now. They knew better not to bring up anything Yongsun related to Byul, so they never got the chance to talk about it.

Moonbyul just smiled, nodding and admitting her fault. There was radio silence for a minute, as if Moonbyul was having an internal conversation with herself before she speaks again, "But it did lead me to Wheein, didn't it?"

"It did." Hyejin smiles genuinely. She's happy how that worked out for them in the end...but she's also worried, because Byul was lost in her own thoughts earlier and apparently its about Yongsun.

The worry on Hyejin's eyes didn't go unnoticed by Byul. "You don't look too comforted by that." Byul chuckles nervously, she wants- no- needs Hyejin's validation that she deserves Wheein and judging by Hyejin's smile she didn't seem too satisfied.

"No!" Hyejin chuckles, as she flails both her hands. "It's not like that, unnie." she tries to reassure Byul. "I know you love Wheein. I just..." she hesitates, but she figured she might as well just say it. "I just hope you're sure you've moved on from Yong-unnie, because if not, then all of you will end up getting hurt and that's just- I don't want to see that happen."

She needed to know if Byul is only seeking refuge from Wheein, she needed to know if she sees Wheein as some kind of cure for her pain because that's not how it should be; people are not medicines.

Moonbyul steps on the break when they reached Seulgi's apartment.

She didn't know what to reply. She appreciates Hyejin's concern, and rightfully so. She thinks about how tough it must be to be in Hyejin's position. "I'm sorry." its what came out from first.

Hyejin smiles at her reassuringly, as if to say that it might be hard but she's fine. "I just need to know that you're not using her as a rebound, Byul-ssi. You know that I love you, right? But Wheein is my best friend, and my first priority is to protect her...even if its against you and Yongsun-ssi"

Hyejin's tone wasn't accusatory, it was actually vulnerable yet firm; Moonbyul knows she meant every word and it probably wasn't the first time these thoughts entered her mind. Moonbyul couldn't help but smile and be comforted by the fact that Wheein has someone like Hyejin in her life.

"To be honest, I can't say I've completely moved on from Yong, Hyejin-ah." Byul confesses,  'completely' being the keyword. "But I do love Wheein, and I appreciate and respect her so much that I wouldn't have pursued a relationship with her if I didn't see a future with her."

Hyejin didn't realize she was holding her breath until a relieved sigh escaped . She found the sincerity in Byul's words that she hoped for; smiling at the fact that they have finally addressed her worry, and she already got some sort of assurance from Moonbyul.

"I'm happy to hear that, unnie." Hyejin declares, holding Byul's hand and squeezing it tight.

Moonbyul smiled back, being reassured that Hyejin's only looking out for all of them. She chuckles realizing that Hyejin's acting like the mom friend when she's the maknae of their group.

"We better go inside. Seulgi-unnie said Minhyuk-ssi is already there." Hyejin states before the two of them gets out of their car and proceed to Seulgi's apartment.

The four of them spent the rest of the day drinking and singing their hearts out.

Moonbyul didn't know why it affected her so much knowing that Yongsun and Eric never dated; maybe it was guilt, maybe it was regret, she really didn't know. What she does know is that ever since she knew that information, she couldn't help but steal a glance at Solar every chance she gets while they work on their duet.

"Do you think these lyrics are okay?" Yongsun asks her without turning her eyes away from her paper. She's too absorbed with what she's doing, while Moonbyul is too absorbed with her passion for what she's doing.

"They're fine." Moonbyul assures her, not really looking at the paper but knowing well enough that whatever Yongsun wrote on it is good enough.

"Are you sure, because I feel like its lacking something-" Yongsun asks but stops abruptly when she turns her head to look at Byul, meeting the woman's stare as if it can pierce through her.

But Byul quickly averted her gaze from Yongsun to her paper, pretending as if she wasn't looking steadily at their leader, then proceeded at making comments about Yong's lyrics.

The night quickly passed by as Solar and Moonbyul, along with some RBW staff worked on the 'moonsun' duet. Making their song progressed smoothly, and Yongsun's surprised how well her and Byul are working together despite their past. So far it hasn't been an hindrance for them to act professionally. Next thing Byul knows is that its time for them to go home for the day.

"Are you sure you don't want me to give you a ride home?" Moonbyul asks Solar, the rain outside is heavy and it would give her comfort knowing that their leader gets home safely.

"I booked a taxi earlier, so its fine." Solar politely refused Byul's offer, even though she's really tempted to accept it.

"Well...next time, when you know that we have a schedule to work on our song, you don't need to book one. Its totally fine for me to drive you home. Your apartment is really not that far from ours." Moonbyul states casually. She didn't feel guilty, she tells herself that she's just being a good friend. That's what they are now, right? They're bandmates and they're friends before they became anything else, anyway.

Solar smiles, while she's happy that her and Moonbyul are really on good terms now, she can't help but be reminded that its only because Byul has already moved on from her; that thought really make Yongsun feel like there's a void in her chest. "Until next time then." she replies, because who is she to decline spending time with Moonbyul?

The rain poured down continuously, and much to Solar's luck, the taxi she booked broke down in the middle of the road. The towing service would come for about 50 minutes due to the heavy rain. It would've been nice if Yongsun brought an umbrella with her but she forgot to bring even that.

Her only option is to wait until the towing service comes or prepare herself to get wet since she tried to book another taxi but was proved hard, due to the heavy rain.

Her luck didn't seem to be in vain though, hearing her phone ring to see that Byul is calling her.

"Did you get home safely?" Byul asked, hearing the news that there was actually a storm.

Yongsun sighs. "I'll be home for about 45 - 40 minutes."

"45 minutes? So you went somewhere else?" Byul asks before she could stop herself from prying. Yongsun's apartment isn't exactly that far, it shouldn't take that long considering that they went home 30 minutes prior.

"Well, our car broke down so..." Solar trails.

"Where are you?" Moonbyul asks.

"Near Hwangso...I think." she answers, having a hard time locating exactly where they are because of the heavy rain, but fortunately seeing the signage of the restaurant.

"Okay. Wait for me." Moonbyul said, immediately cutting of the line, not giving Yongsun a chance to argue with her.

Yongsun beamed a smile when she saw Moonbyul's car pull up in front of her taxi. Excitement got the best of her; she got off the taxi immediately without an umbrella after giving the driver her payment and thanking him. She was just glad she could finally go home, and didn't have to wait for almost an hour.

So there she was, standing at the rain, watching Moonbyul as she opens her umbrella in hand and gets off of her car, walking towards her.

"Why did you get out?" Moonbyul asks, putting the umbrella on top of Yongsun to shield her from getting soaked from the rain even further.

Yongsun didn't know why she lost her ability to say a single word. She was just grateful that Byul came to her rescue, maybe. Yongsun was reminded of all the times Byul had done this before, because apparently Yongsun has a bad habit of forgetting her umbrella when she knows its a rainy season.

"Where's your bag?" Moonbyul asks, but didn't wait for Solar to answer, as she leans inside the car to get Yongsun's bag. "Come on." Moonbyul said as she guides Solar to her car.

Byul opened the car door for Yongsun on the backseat.

The smile on Yongsun's face faltered when she saw Wheein on the passenger's seat beside Byul.

"Unnie." Hyejin greets their leader beside her, making her presence known.

"Hyejin-ah. Wheein." Solar manages to say, looking at them respectively.

Wheein smiles at her, "Here's some tissue, unnie." she hands Solar a generous amount of tissue before she turns her attention to Byul, wiping the rapper's face with the tissue in her hand.

Hyejin noticed the pained look on their leader's face, she knows the older girl was trying hard not to let her emotions show but Hyejin is already familiar with Solar's actions by now. She didn't know why her unnie is being a masochist; watching Wheein wipe the raindrops from Byul's face and the back of her neck, knowing full well that its only hurting her.

"Unnie, it's a good thing that you were along the way where we decided to eat. Otherwise you'd be stuck there longer." Hyejin states just to break Solar's gaze from the two people at the front seat.

"Yeah." Yongsun croaks out as she finally turns her head away from the two to face Hyejin.

Moonbyul couldn't help but look at her rear view mirror when she heard Yongsun's voice crack.

Wheein stops when she sees Byul looking at Yongsun through the rear view mirror with concern filling her eyes.

It was like a domino effect...

Hyejin couldn't stand the radio silence so she clears .

Byul then sits straight up tearing her gaze away from the mirror and then starting the car's engine.

Wheein turns her body away from Byul's direction and sits properly on her seat, looking at the rain as it drops on the car window.

Yongsun does the same, she looks away, looking afar, as she fights back the tears that's threatening to fall. She's thankful she's somehow wet, that when a tear rolled down her cheek it was barely noticeable.

Well. Barely being the keyword since Hyejin noticed it. She placed her hand on top of Yongsun's hand and squeezed it tightly. Yongsun squeezes her hand back without looking at her.

Yongsun thinks her luck really was in vain after all. How she wished she just waited for 45 minutes stuck in the traffic; maybe her heart wouldn't feel so broken then.

When the members of Mamamoo arrived at Yongsun's apartment, the rain still hasn't stopped but it was more bearable.

Hyejin decided to stay at Yongsun's apartment. She can't possibly leave her unnie in the state that she's in. She knows Yongsun would need some company right now, and she's hoping she could help her feel better.

"Unnie, I can stay at your apartment tonight, right?" Hyejin asks, but her tone was more like Yongsun didn't have any choice.

"Of course, Hyejin-ah." Yongsun said softly, her voice was still a little hoarse.

"Great." clapping her hands lightly together. "Byul-ssi, Wheein-ah, you won't miss me too much, right?" she asks her other friends.

Moonbyul shrugs dismissively. "You're probably the one who'll miss me." Byul says greasily, causing Hyejin to roll her eyes.

"Take care then." Wheein said smiling at both Hyejin and Yongsun, she was obviously not in a cheerful mood, Hyejin wishes its because she's sleepy but she knows it probably has something to do with the way Byul looked at Yongsun.

"Take care too." Yongsun replied, flashing the best smile she could, "Thank you for picking me up." she said at both Wheein and Byul, but her gaze was directed only at Wheein. On her peripheral view she can see Byul smiling at her but she didn't dare look at her.

"It was nothing, unnie." Wheein smiled.

After bidding their final goodbyes for the night, Hyejin then opened the car door and opened her large umbrella, respectively, to shield her and Yongsun from the rain.

They were already in their pajamas, Yongsun and Hyejin are settled in Yongsun's bed.

The blonde girl was still quiet, and she was still trying to hold back her tears.

"Unnie, you're allowed to cry. It's okay." Hyejin reminds her. As soon as she said it, Yongsun leaned in to hug her, as if she was Yong's mother, cradling her child. She caresses Yongsun's hair as the girl cries continuously.

"I know that she really found someone new." Yongsun states in between sobs, thoughts of Wheein and Moonbyul floods her mind, including the way Byul leaned in to Wheein's touch when the younger girl was wiping her dry. "But it only felt real for me tonight."

Yongsun was crying so hard but there no sounds, "And it hurts so much." Yongsun added, as if Hyejin couldn't see how Yongsun was having a hard time breathing because of the pain.

Their leader look so miserable that Hyejin felt a tear fall from her own eye. "Unnie." She was at a loss of words, what could she possibly say to make her friend feel better?

"Did I do something wrong?" Moonbyul asks Wheein when they were seated in their shared bed. The younger girl hasn't said more than one word to her. She wonders if its about picking up Yongsun, but that couldn't possibly be it. Wheein's mature enough to make that a big deal.

"I don't know, did you?" Wheein retorts, pushing her hair back with her hand.

"Is it about Yong?" Moonbyul asks carefully, she really didn't want to bring her up, but if Wheein has a problem about her then she has to know.

Wheein visibly inhaled as if she was about to say something, but then she sighs in resignation. "No."

"Then why are you acting so cold?" Moonbyul asks softly, she can sense that Wheein is holding back. And she's not willing to lose another relationship just because of miscommunication. She never wants to be kept in the dark when there's a problem they should address.

Byul scoots closer to her girlfriend, wrapping her right arm along Wheein's back with her hand on Wheein's hips. The younger girl's features softens with the contact.

"It's not you." Wheein states. "It's me. I'm the problem, because whenever we're in the same room with Yongsun-unnie, I feel like an outsider, I feel like I'm invading something, and I hate that I know I can't compete with her." she replies, looking down in embarrassment. It sounds so valid when its running around her mind but it feels silly when she says it out loud.

"Look at me." Moonbyul sighs, touching her chin guiding her head to face her so their eyes could meet. She was looking at Wheein intently, as if she was memorizing her face for future reference. "I get it, we all have our insecurities, and sometimes it gets the best of us." Moonbyul states understandingly. "I can't promise to take them away completely."

"But I'm here." Byul declares, her stare was so soft that Wheein felt like her heart could melt at any second. "I'm here to shield you from your insecurities. I'm here to reassure you every single time you need it. And you don't have to compete," Byul smiles and shakes her head. "...because there's no competition; you're my girlfriend and I love you." she continues, before leaning in.

Her lips met Wheein's soft ones, and Wheein couldn't explain why it actually seem like its working. Their kiss was sweet despite the salty tears falling from Wheein's eyes, and as their kiss deepens, Wheein's insecurities feel more and more like a thing from the past.

A few days after; the storm has finally left, and the sky is finally clear again.

But it doesn't seem to be the case at RBW's practice room. If anything, the big storm is just on its way.

"All I'm saying is that I think its a little out of place in the song." Moonbyul states calmly but with a sharp tone.

"Well clearly, I'm not doing anything right in this choreography, so why don't you just do it all by yourself and teach me after?" Yongsun replied, she's been trying to control her anger, but Moonbyul has been contradicting her every suggestion from the start of their practice.

Yongsun actually feels like Moonbyul is out to get her.

"What, you can't take constructive criticisms now?" Moonbyuls asks, "You clearly had a lot to say on our live performance earlier, but you didn't see me complain." Moonbyul remarks.

They had to perform for a school festival earlier and Yongsun has been on edge that she actually the littlest things ticked her off, maybe it had something to do with how extra clingy Moonbyul and Wheein was on stage, but she's not going to admit that out loud.

In Yongsun's defense though, she actually only said something when Moonbyul forgot some of her lines when they were singing on of their songs. "I just told you to focus, was I wrong to say that?"

"And I'm just saying that what you're suggesting doesn't fit our choreography." Moonbyul retorts.

"Girls, maybe you're just too pressured with the timetable? I can see that you're both rushing things. Maybe that's the reason both of you are arguing now." their manager points out.

Both of them were on edge that they almost forgot that their manager was still in the room.

Their manager might be right. Solar did want to finish the entirety of the song soon, she can't handle seeing Moonbyul anymore without feeling a pang of pain in her chest. It became too much for her to have Byul near her for longer hours, only to be reminded by herself that Moonbyul is not hers to love anymore.

But Byul...Byul wasn't sure if she really did want to end it as fast. Sure she would love to finish the song soon so she could have longer hours to spend with her girlfriend, but at the same time she has been accustomed to being with Solar for a while longer; its their only chance to have casual conversations like normal friends do.

She didn't understand it herself, or maybe she just didn't want to. Part of her wants the song to be perfect, including the dance, that's why she's been a little more picky about Solar's suggestions, but if she's being honest it also probably have something to do with prolonging the process.

"Just relax, take it easy, okay?" Their manager advised them.

Both of them nodding but no one really looked like they agree.

Moonbyul was about to say something when her phone rang.

The rapper immediately took out her phone from her bag.

"Wheepup, hi." she greeted, some of the tension in her body evaporates. "Yeah we're still practicing, manager-unnie is with us." she states.

Solar knew exactly why she felt like she had just been stabbed when she saw Moonbyul's face light up almost instantly when 'wheepup' called. And she also knew exactly what she has to do, so she grabs her bag  and bids their manager a goodbye while Moonbyul continues to chat with Wheein. Solar told their manager that she's tired and promised that they'll just continue tomorrow with a better attitude before heading towards the door.

When Moonbyul noticed that Solar left, she excused herself and promised Wheein that she'll call her later. She grabbed her bag and followed Yongsun.

"Yongsun, wait." she calls out, but the other girl continued walking, pretending not to hear anything.

Moonbyul jogged just to catch up at Yongsun, "Yong, can we at least be professional about this?" she asks, holding the older girl on her arm to stop her from walking. They reached the parking lot when Byul was able to catch up to her.

Somehow, being at a parking lot brought a lot of memories back.

"I am being professional about this."Yongsun replies. She wanted to calm herself down; she didn't want to get her emotions get the best of her and that's what will exactly happen if she stayed.

"Yes, I can see that." Moonbyul remarks with a lace of sarcasm.

But Solar didn't respond and continued to walk instead.

But Moonbyul will not let her walk away from her with a misunderstanding so she keeps up with Yongsun's pace. "Why are you being like this? Look, I'm sorry for my comments on your suggestions, I guess I was being too perfectionist."

"It's fine. I'm probably just tired too." Yongsun dismissed, but Moonbyul obviously didn't buy her excuse.

"There you go again." Moonbyul throws both her hands in the air.

"There I go what again?" Yongsun finally stops in her tracks, crossing her arms along her chest defensively.

"There! Being like that." Moonbyul points out, slightly losing her temper. "Saying that there's no problem when there is!" she states, not bothering to hide the bitterness underlying her tone. She didn't know she could still be so affected knowing that Yongsun didn't even gave her the chance to fix their problem, and kept it all to herself instead.

"Because there isn't any." Yongsun said, barely holding it in. She knows she's lying, and she knows that Moonbyul is right but admitting that would lead to more problems and she didn't want to burden Byul with what she's feeling.

Moonbyul sighs in disappointment. "How am I supposed to fix the problem if you won't tell me what it is? If I don't know what it is?"

It seemed to Yongsun like they weren't talking about their choreography anymore, and rightfully so, because Moonbyul's mind is filled with the reminders of why they broke up. Moonbyul feels like they're arguing about something that happened long ago.

For the first time, Yongsun meets Moonbyul's gaze. "Byul, you can't solve every problem." she replies with conviction. "And believe me you don't want to know what my problem is." she says before walking away from Byul again.

"Just tell me what's the problem." Moonbyul follows her again.

"You really want to know what my problem is?" Yongsun asks with a raised voice, she couldn't control herself emotions any longer. "You really want to know?"

And Moonbyul looks at her expectantly, with the same energy that Yongsun has. They were both agitated.

"Me!" she exclaims, Yongsun couldn't hide her anger, but it didn't seem like it was directed to Byul anymore, it seemed like it was rather directed at herself. "I'm the problem!"she states, her voice was already shaking because of emotions overwhelming her.

"Because I'm hurting even though I know I have no right to feel that way." she reasons. "I wish I could stand the pain that I'm feeling and just be able to pretend that I'm okay..." a sob escapes but there were no tears. "...because I'm the one who asked for this, right?" She was doing her very best not to cry, she wanted to at least look strong in front Moonbyul even though her words were saying the exact opposite.

"How I wish I can tell you that I'm happy for you." Solar continues, looking straight at Moonbyul but the other girl has her head down.

Moonbyul couldn't look at Yongsun, she couldn't stand seeing her in pain and not do anything about it so she keeps her eyes fixated on the ground.

" How I wish I can tell you that I'm happy for the both of you." Moonbyul looked up to meet her ex-girlfriend's gaze and she saw Yongsun with a defeated smile. " How I wish I could... " Yongsun repeated.

It was Yongsun's turn to look away, letting out a sigh and her shoulders fall before looking down. "But I can't..." Yongsun admits, looking up, her eyes has already had tears falling from them when they met Byul's. "And I feel so horrible. I feel like I'm such a bad person."

Yongsun's eyes didn't leave Byul's, "Because the truth is until now I'm still hoping-" she pauses trying to hold back her tears again, "I'm still hoping that you'll tell me that it's still me..." she confesses, "...that it's always been me..." she lets out a sob again, "...that it's me that you still love."

Moonbyul only realized that she was crying too when she was able to taste her own tears. She didn't know what she expected. She didn't know what she hoped to happen when she insisted to have this conversation or argument or whatever this is.

What was she supposed to say? Yongsun is crying in front of her, telling her all the things that she would have wanted to hear. Letting all her guards down and pouring her heart out.

All Moonbyul wanted to do at the time was to wipe away Yongsun's tears. She wanted to say all the right things to stop Yong from crying. She wanted to say whatever it is that Yongsun wanted to hear if it meant that she can take away her pain but she can't.

"I love Wheein." Moonbyul declares, no matter how much she didn't want to say it at that moment it was the truth. Moonbyul loves Wheein, and they can't pretend like Moonbyul's girlfriend is non existent and that her and Solar can just go back to how they used to be.

"I know." Yongsun simply says as she held Moonbyul's gaze. "I know." Yongsun repeats as a sign of both acknowledgement and reminder. She's not blind to not see that Byul really loves Wheein; nor is she numb to not feel that Wheein genuinely makes Moonbyul happy.

"She loved me at my worst." Moonbyul states, acknowledging all the times she pushed Wheein away; how many times she ignored Wheein's efforts to make her feel better after Yongsun broke her heart. Its stuck in her mind how Wheein stayed beside her, and how Yongsun left her.

"You had me at my best." How Moonbyul wished Yongsun just talked to her. How she wished Yongsun would've just told her about her worries. How she wished she just held on a little longer.

Back then, Moonbyul was willing to to do all the hard work if it meant having Yongsun by her side. She tried her best to be worthy of Yongsun's affection. And she was glad that Yongsun loved her enough to be with her. Maybe enough was even an understatement, because they were so happy to the point where all of their problems felt so small.

But it didn't matter.

It doesn't matter now because no matter how much Yongsun loved her, she didn't love her enough to fight for her.

"But you threw it all away as if it didn't mean anything." Moonbyul's lips were trembling, from pain, from anger, from disappointment, she really did't have it in her to even process what she's feeling in that moment.

Yongsun flinched at Moonbyul's words. "Byul...is that really what you think?" she asks, understanding that she hurt Moonbyul badly, but she hoped Moonbyul would at least understand why she did it. "I just made a choice."

It was for them. Yongsun made the decision that Moonbyul couldn't make, but it was for them.

Moonbyul nodded in agreement, she had a sad expression on her face as if she also feels sorry about Yongsun's choice.  "And you chose to break my heart." Moonbyul affirms, with tears still flowing from her eyes.

This time Moonbyul's the one who takes the first step; walking away from Yongsun.