CHAPTER 1

It has always been Kim Yongsun for Moon Byulyi.

They have been together for five years, and it always seemed like they were so happy that nothing can come between them -at least, its what Moonbyul thought.

Because one night, Byul came home to their share apartment and Yongsun was already packing her bags. Byul didn't know why she didn't see it coming. It was all too sudden for her that she didn't have time to process where it went wrong, nor did Yongsun gave her a chance to.

Five Years.

Five years, and yet, it seemed like it was so easy for Yongsun to throw that all away.

Moonbyul wanted to be mad - to be angry, but all she could feel was pain.

Pain that Yongsun didn't even gave her a chance to fix their relationship.

Moonbyul wonders if she could ever get use to this; waking up without the pink haired yeba bothering her.

When she enters the bathroom there will be no one confidently dancing in front of a mirror, there will be no one to comfort her when she's tired from work, there will be no one to reassure her that everything's going to be fine.

She wonders how she could survive their dance practice tomorrow seeing Yongsun and not being able to hold her.

She thinks twice if she should just skip it; but then she realized she won't get to see Yongsun if she doesn't come, so she decided to go.

She'd rather look at her from afar than not see her at all.

-Dance Practice-

"Unnie, you didn't have to move out. You could just switch rooms with Wheein. I'm sure she'll agree" Hyejin suggested. "Right, Wheein?"

"I'm not a fan of grumpy Byul, but I'd do it." Wheein agreed.

"You're both going to miss me, aren't you?" Yongsun teased, trying to think lightly of the situation. "Don't worry, we'll still see each other everyday. We have practices and events." she reassured her dongsaengs.

"Exactly, so what difference will it make if you stayed at our apartment?" Hyejin questioned, it will surely be hard for her to adjust to the new atmosphere in their apartment. The presence of their leader that never fails to brighten up the mood won't be there anymore. She couldn't even imagine what Moonbyul must be going through.

"We have so many memories there and I don't think I can deal with that..." Solar reasoned but was cut short when Moonbyul entered the room.

Yongsun didn't expect Moonbyul to come, if she's being honest she was kind of hoping she wouldn't get to see her today. It will be easier for her not to be reminded of what she had just let go of.

But none the less, the sight of the blue haired girl comforted her. It crossed her mind that Moonbyul might quit, she prayed hard the night before that she won't; Moonbyul showing up at their practice is a good sign.

"Unnie, I thought you're not feeling well?" Wheein asked curiously.

Wheein made breakfast for the three of them, trying her best to start the day with a good mood but Byul didn't even open the door for her, she didn't leave her room. She told them she doesn't feel well through text, so Wheein and Hyejin decided to give her some space.

"Can't miss practice." Moonbyul shrugged.

But as Wheein stared at where Moonbyul is looking at; she realized that what she meant by that is that she can't miss the chance to see Solar.

The day went by with Moonbyul stealing glances at Yongsun when she thinks the other is not looking, and Yongsun trying to catch a glimpse of Moonbyul, only to see that the other girl is already looking at her.

The practice went unexpectedly well, both of the older girls were professional enough to set aside their personal conflict.

Solar's current apartment isn't too far from their former home so she still took a ride with her group members on the way home.

Moonbyul was uncharacteristically quiet the whole ride home, which is expected but is still surprising.

When Solar stepped down the car in front of her new home she bid the members and their manager a goodbye.

The car was about to start again but Moonbyul told their manager to wait. "Give me ten seconds." she said without tearing her gaze away from an unaware Solar whose busy finding her keys.

Moonbyul didn't move from her spot, she just stared at Yongsun through the car window.

Wheein and Hyejin shared a knowing look.

"Just ten seconds, I promise." Byul states.

1...

2...

3...

4...

5...

"Please..."

6...

7...

8...

She just wanted - no - needed Solar to look at her. Just one look. One look to help her sleep tonight, to make her feel just a little bit better. One look to make her hope that tomorrow will be better.

9...

10...

But Yongsun didn't turn her gaze in her direction, so she signals the driver to go.

It became a routine, that Moonbyul didn't even have to say anything anymore, their manager will automatically wait for 10 seconds before it drives the car away from Solar's apartment.

But not once did Moonbyul see Solar look back.

It was a month after Yongsun and Byul's break up...

Moonbyul drank more than she could handle. Again.

She went out with Seulgi and Minhyuk, but the two have to work early the next day so they couldn't take care of Byul; hence why Hyejin and Wheein came to pick her up.

"Who are you?" Moonbyul asked in a slur, as her friend helps her get to bed.

"Unnie, it's Wheein." The younger girl replied, rolling her eyes; they were going back and forth with the same questions since they picked her up from the bar.

Wheein didn't know why she kept answering but she still does.

Hyejin then appeared with Moonbyul's pajamas, placing them on the bed. "I'll just get her a glass of water."

"Wheein-ah!" Moonbyul said enthusiastically, as if she recognized Wheein just then. "Why are you guys so kind to me?" Byul mumbles.

"Byul-unnie, let's get you changed okay?"  Wheein ignored her question as she tries to help her friend up.

"You look pretty with your hair blonde. It suits you." Moonbyul said as Wheein starts to remove her top. "Woah. At least take me to dinner first." She exclaimed.

Wheein didn't know how to react, she felt her cheeks heat up in embarassment, her pale cheeks slowly turning rosy pink. "Unnie, I'm just going to change your clothes."

Hyejin then returns with an amused smile. "At least we know its still our greasy Byul." She remarked as she places the glass on the nightstand.

"Wheein-ah. Have I told you that you look pretty?" Moonbyul asks.

"About a hundred times now." Hyejin giggles which earned an annoyed look from Wheein; tolerating Byul doesn't help their situation.

"Please tell me you're going to help?" Wheein begged Hyejin who's enjoying the scene unfolding in front of her.

"Well that's because you really look pretty." Moonbyul states with a goofy grin. "Maybe that's why Yongsun gets jealous sometimes. But she doesn't have to be jealous. She's the most beautiful person to me. Always." Moonbyul mumbles to herself, but it was loud enough for all of them to hear; the mood suddenly dampens.

Wheein knows she shouldn't feel disappointed. She should just be flattered that her unnie finds her pretty, but Moonbyul just reminded her that she could never compete with Yongsun, so she couldn't help but feel a pang of pain.

"You look pretty too, Hyejin-ah. Please don't be jealous." Moonbyul smiles at her.

Hyejin almost laughs, but she stopped herself because there's a pout displayed on her best friend's face.

Hyejin doesn't think she's the one Moonbyul should stop from being jealous.

2 months passed after Yongsun and Byul's break up...

Because of their busy schedules, they were too preoccupied to deal with their broken hearts.

During the days, they both have their fans who love and support them, but when the sun hides and the moon takes charge, they both end up crying their self to sleep.

They didn't know if they should be thankful, because not having the time to deal with their problems also meant not having the time to heal.

So when their CEO announced that they can have a month long break Solar was relieved.

The moomoos noticed her cold war with Moonbyul, she already expected it since they've been distant on their performances, but maybe with this break they can have time to heal so they can go back to their greasy old selves. Maybe not as close, but at least close enough for the fans to not worry.

She just misses their mischevious interactions, and their sweet conversations.

She misses her.

She miss Moonbyul so much and it hurts her knowing that she doesn't have the right to feel so.

Moonbyul insisted earlier that she will wait for Yongsun outside their rented restaurant because the rain was heavy.

She brought an umbrella just in case the older girl didn't bring one; Yongsun often forget hers and Byul would always lend her hers. Its been kind of their thing.

They have a small gathering along with some of their friends, namely the Red Velvet members and Minhyuk and Loco. Even with their busy schedules they find time to have a gathering once in a while.

"Unnie. Come inside now; she's not coming." Wheein said sympathetically when Yongsun cancelled on them on the last minute.

But instead of going inside Moonbyul walked in the middle of the street, standing in the rain.

"Unnie!" Wheein shouted in surprise. "You'll catch a cold." she said in concern. She's been doing nothing but drink. Moonbyul doesn't even try to eat; so Wheein's worried a simple drizzle would make Byul sick.

"Do you think if I get sick, she'll finally talk to me?" Moonbyuls asked, and if it were any other circumstances Wheein would've thought she was just joking, but in this instance Wheein knows she's dead serious.

"You're acting like a fool." Wheein said in gritted teeth, she didn't like how Moonbyul looked so desperate, and how she knows she can't do anything about it because she's not Yongsun.

"If I get sick and end up in a hospital, I think she'll talk to me then...right?" Moonbyul said, spreading her arms as if she's welcoming the rain, while still holding the bottle that intoxicated her in one hand and her unused umbrella in the other.

"Let's come inside, please." Wheein held Moonbyul's arms trying to drag the girl inside the restaurant, but the older girl is stronger than her.

Hyejin and Seulgi stepped outside to check on Moonbyul and Wheein since they've been outside for a while.

"What are you guys doing?" Hyejin called out when she sees Wheein seeming like she's playing tug of war with Moonbyul without any umbrella.

But she didn't get an answer from the two as they continue their conversation.

"If I get sick, she'll take me back for sure." Moonbyul stated. She didn't care if she gets sick; that's the whole point.

"She won't take you back anymore." Wheein shouted, she regretted it as soon as she said it but Moonbyul needed to hear it.

Hyejin and Seulgi both grabbed their umbrella's to cover the two from the falling rain but Moonbyul took a step back, "What did you say?" she asked Wheein with anger filling her voice.

"Moonbyul, stop." Seulgi warned, stepping between Wheein and Byul while Hwasa gently pulls Wheein back under the roof.

"Whatever." Moonbyul said before leaving.

It was the first time Wheein saw Byul like that; so aggressively broken as she would describe it.

...And much to Wheein's dismay, it was far from the last time Byul, because Byul has been a drunk mess ever since.

Byul would always come home to their apartment drunk, that is, if she'd even manage to go home; sometimes, Wheein and Hyejin would have to pick her up from a bar because she happen to pass out from too much alcohol.

On occassions when Byul's not passed out, Wheein would see her drunk dial her Yongsun-unnie; and she'd always see Byul cry when Yongsun doesn't answer, which is every single time.

How Wheein wishes she could carry some of the pain Byul was carrying. It frustrates her how she couldn't do anything about it; because Moonbyul never listens to her. She's not even sure if Byul sees her.

It seemed to her like Byul's mind is full of Kim Yongsun and anything that is not Kim Yongsun is irrelevant to her right now.

All she could do was be there for her unnie.

Even if being there for Moonbyul meant tying up her hair while she throws up on the toilet or sometimes it even meant cleaning up her mess after she couldn't make it to the restroom.

At times, Wheein and Hyejin would hear sounds of objects crashing the floor from Byul's room, then they'd hear sobs right after.

It was heartbreaking to say the least.

But nothing breaks Wheein's heart than knowing that Byul thinks she's alone in all of these.

Because Wheein and Hyejin was right there.

They were both there for her and Byul's too focused on Yongsun to even notice that.

It was a month after Mamamoo's month-long hiatus...

Hyejin and Wheein both stepped outside the cafe to welcome Solar when the latter told them that she's already in the parking lot; they haven't seen their leader for a month after all. The two maknaes made it a joke that Yongsun really took the one month break literally, since it felt like she broke up with all of them.

"Wheein! Hyejin!" Yongsun called out enthusiastically making a beeline towards the girls and hugging them tightly. "I've missed you guys."

"Well, whose fault is that?" Hyejin questions playfully, rolling her eyes.

"I know. I know. But I'm here now." Yong answered.

Yongsun almost forgot that she has someone with her if it wasn’t for Wheein...

"Oh, Unnie, You didn't tell us you'd bring Eric-oppa." it wasn't that Wheein didn't want the boy there, but she was worried about Moonbyul's reaction if the older girl ever decides to show up.

"Oh- no. I just gave Solar a ride." Eric stated, the surprise in Wheein's voice didn't go unnoticed so he tried to avoid any misunderstanding.

"Red Velvet and Minhyuk are inside, you should come as well so Minhyuk won't be the only guy, since Loco can't come today." Hyejin offered, trying to be polite. Moonbyul told them she couldn't come so she thought there shouldn't be any problem. "I'm sure they won't mind."

"Oh...okay." Eric agreed, too eagerly in Hyejin’s opinion.

As they entered the restaurant, Yongsun and Eric was greeted by their fellow singers as they take their respective seats.

Seulgi was about to serve their meal when she saw Moonbyul approaching.

While placing the food down the table, Seulgi silently warned Solar that Moonbyul’s already at the door. Her nerves were on edge knowing that her friend Byul never liked Eric that much, she just hopes Moonbyul have extra self-control today.

Hyejin gave Solar an apologetic look, which Solar answered with a reassuring smile.

"This is going to be messy for sure." Minhyuk remarked, which earned Eric confused.

"Relax, you guys." Irene whispered. Moonbyul didn't look drunk; maybe she won't make a scene, Irene thought to herself.

"Unnie!" Wheein greeted her bandmate.

Moonbyul shot her a small smile before focusing her attention on the newly blonde girl that she hasn't seen in a long time; if she doesn't count their encounter in her dreams and thoughts.

"Yong." she says ever so softly, as if her name could break in .

Yongsun turned to face her and greets her back, "Byul." she gave her a smile, but not as genuine as she would've been if the presence of Eric beside her didn't make her anxious.

And as if on cue, the smile on Moonbyul's face faltered when she saw the guy beside Yongsun. The guy who's been "married" to Solar on a stupid tv show. The guy they fought over a few times; the guy who just wouldn't leave Yongsun alone.

"Eric." she acknowledged his presence with a smile, but it definitely wasn't a friendly one. Eric stood up to shake her hand but she just stared at it without the intention of taking it.

Eric proceeded to lightly scratch his head to refrain himself from more embarrassment, when the other girl didn’t reach for his hand. He smiled at her instead; he thought that maybe Moonbyul isn’t in a good mood for handshakes. "Nice to see you, again." he greeted.

"I wish I could say the same." Moonbyul replied, not hiding the malice in her voice.

Moonbyul chuckled, trying to pass it off as a joke but everyone who heard knew it was far from humor.

"Moonbyul, don't make a scene." Seulgi whispered as a warning, placing her hand on Moonbyul's shoulder in attempt to calm her.

Fortunately, Moonbyul listened to her and settled in her seat next to Wheein.

"Seulgi and Irene! Congratulations on your new cafe!" Minhyuk exclaimed, trying to pacify the situation.

The rest followed by giving their congratulatory messages as they raised their cups, except for Moonbyul, who was chugging down her wine.

Wendy was about to congratulate her bandmates when Moonbyul interjected into their conversation. "You should congratulate Yongsun too." she stated, her eyes looked cold as she stared straight at Yongsun.

Byul thought that maybe the reason why Yongsun broke up with her was because everything about Eric is easier. With Eric, Yongsun didn't have to hide, since their relationship is acceptable to society. Surely, Yongsun's parents wouldn't have a problem with Eric. It would be muh more convenient to all of them.

Moonbyul didn’t want to admit it, but Eric is obviously a decent man that could very well take care of Yongsun. He’s someone Moonbyul would approve of if she didn’t want Yongsun for herself. She was inwardly seething with the thought of it.

"Congratulations, Yong-unnie." Moonbyul said in an attempt to mock her ex-girlfriend. "You finally found someone to replace me." she said out of spite.

Hyejin held her breath, hoping that Eric doesn’t assume that her unnie is talking about him, or else Moonbyul just revealed her relationship with Solar to Eric Nam.

But judging the expression of Eric’s face, he looked genuinely confused with the sudden outburst.

No one dared to speak, mostly because no one knew what to say. "Cheers!" Moonbyul exclaimed as she raised her wine glass. "Come on, Wheein, Hyejin, Minyuk- let's toast to that!" she urged her friends.

"Byul-unnie, stop." Wheein said just above a whisper, just loud enough for Moonbyul to hear; trying to prevent her friend from making a fool out of herself.

But when did Moonbyul ever listen to her?

The rapper stood up abruptly.

"Let's go outside, Byul." Minyuk offered, trying to ease the tension. "Let's talk about this outside." he tried to lead Moonbyul outside but the girl was able to push him away.

"Didn't you know about the three month rule?" Moonbyul asked staring down at a stunned Yongsun. "Everyone who has fallen in love and broke up knows about that!" she exclaimed.

She heard some of her friends gasp but she didn’t care. She couldn't. She was blinded by the fact that Yongsun was so quick to move on while she couldn't even take a single step forward.

Yongsun was about to say something but Moonbyul cut her off. "You're supposed to wait. Wait for at least three months before you go and find someone else. Don't you know that?!"

Maybe it was Eric being naïve, but it made sense to him only just now why Moonbyul isn’t in the mood for handshakes.

He didn’t expect Moonbyul and Yongsun to be involved in a romantic relationship together, but he can’t say he’s surprised either.

"Unnie, that's enough." Hyejin says in a authoritative tone, trying to stop Moonbyul, grabbing her arms but the rapper was able to shrug her off easily.

"I'm not done yet, Hyejin." the icy stare that Moonbyul shot her sent chills to her spine.

"Unnie, let's just go." Wheein pleaded, but as usual Moonbyul ignored her.

"I still have two weeks left." Moonbyul's voice cracks, her tears threatening to fall any moment. As if it would change anything. As if she could take Yongsun back in a span of two weeks. She repeats herself. "Two weeks!" she gestures with her fingers.

Yongsun couldn't say anything, she could explain to Moonbyul that Eric is just a friend but she's sure it'll only fall into deaf ears. Moonbyul doesn't have a great history when it comes to listening when her mind's already set.

"Why are you itching to replace me, huh?!" She wonders how long they've been seeing each other; just thinking about it makes her furious.

"Unnie, please stop." Wheein pleaded again, while the rest of them were too stunned to react.

"Moonbyul, I don't want any trouble." Eric finally managed to say, he was about to explain himself when Moonbyul looked like he was about to hit him.

Before Moonbyul could step closer to Eric, Minhyuk and Hyejin held her tight. "You might be a man but I could easily break your face." Moonbyul threatened which caused Yongsun to stand up in anger.

She didn't like Moonbyul behaving like this, this isn't like her. She's supposed to be loving and sweet and caring. She didn't like that she made Byul like this. "Moonbyul, go home!"

"I did everything! Everything, Yongsun! What else do you want me to do?" Moonbyul shouted. She didn't want to shout at Yongsun, but the ache in her chest makes her want to explode.

"Damn you!" she shouts as Hyejin and Minhyuk struggles to hold her down. She hates how helpless she is, how she gave everything to Yongsun but somehow it still wasn't enough.

"Are you really that heartless?" she hates how she tried so hard to reach Yongsun since their breakup, how she begged her for another chance but never got any reply. "Come on, answer me! What?!" Her voice cracked at the end but she didn't seem fazed by it.

"Moonbyul! Stop!" Irene shouted louder than Moonbyul's outbursts, which finally caught the other girl's attention.

She finally stopped; her actions finally dawned on her, but tears started to fall from her eyes as soon as she calmed down.

Yongsun wanted to wrap Moonbyul in her arms, she wanted to wipe away those tears like she used to do, and she almost did. Almost. But she has to be strong, for the both of them. Moonbyul just proved to her that their relationship has become unhealthy; how dependent of each other they've become.

"Kim Yongsun, I love you so much." Moonbyul's voice was trembling as she tries to fight back her tears. "I love you too much, it's killing me." she sounded broken just as much as she looked like it.

Byul saw Yongsun open , but nothing came out. She then laughed humorlessly at how pathetic she was before wiping her tears and walking away.

Wheein and Hyejin followed Moonbyul, while the rest of them tried to comfort Yongsun as she catches her breath from crying too hard.

Her friends were trying to comfort her with words but she couldn’t seem to hear them. Her mind is too focused on what just happened. She hurt Byul so bad that she ended up despising Yong. The look on Moonbyul’s face kept replaying in her head.

And she hates herself for not being able to do anything but cry.

Moonbyul just wanted to be reckless, she wanted to drive anywhere away from the cafe, away from the girl that's been causing her too much pain.

Wheein and Hyejin tried to stop her telling her that she wasn't in the condition to drive but Byul has always been stubborn. She kept on reasoning that she wasn't drunk and that she can handle herself. She said she just wants to be alone, and fairly enough her two younger members let her be.

So now she's driving, she knows that she's driving beyond the speed limit but she doesn't care. She wants to let loose. She wants to take away the pain and for a moment she thought that if her car crashed the pain will stop.

And not a second later she hears an explosion and she loses control of the handle.

A/N:

I hope you are all ready to be on a roller coaster ride with me all over again?