It was here, the event Taeil had been so dreading for days at that point. He was standing backstage, wearing his nice jeans and the blazer he'd bought just in case when he was a sophomore in high school, too nervous and depressed to even bemoan the fact that it still fit him three years later. The whole of their choir was circled up, with the directors standing in the center, leading the whole group in vocal warmups. Their turn on stage for the competition was in about ten minutes, and Taeil could not have been less excited. 

Defeat had already settled in his stomach. When the whole group had come off the bus, everyone dispersed to go say hello to their friends and family in the audience. Taeil hadn't even bothered to look; he didn't want anyone to notice him searching for faces he knew wouldn't be there. Instead, he'd taken an extended bathroom break, allowing himself to wallow in pity for the moment until the rest of the team came back.

 He was going to ruin everything; he would definitely up his solo and prevent the team from going to regionals. At least no one would be there to see him do it, but he wasn't excited to have his whole choir team turn on him too. They seemed to like him, for whatever reason, but Taeil figured that would change fairly easily. 

There was just...no reason for him to be there. He didn't serve a purpose on the team, and nobody wanted to see him either. He'd never felt more useless. 

Warm ups just ended, the choir directors had spoken some encouraging words, and now all they could do was wait. They were on next, crouched backstage, clutching each other's sweaty palms. Taeil should have been used to this, but he wasn't ready to up. He wasn't ready. 

The choir team before theirs finished, and the guy standing next to Taeil smiled. 

"Good luck. You're going to be amazing, dude," he whispered.

Taeil didn't know what to say to that. "I don't know..."

"Seriously. Believe in yourself. We all heard you at rehearsals." 

"Um...good luck to you, too." 

And then the stage hand was beckoning them onto the stands and they were lining up in their rows, and Taeil couldn't stop his hands from trembling, how could he stop his voice from doing the same? Of course he was going to up. And then the curtains were going up and the moms and dads cheered for their kids and Taeil's heart sank into his stomach until his world seemed to stop. 

There was Johnny, sitting in the third row, clearly searching the line up for Taeil's face. As soon as he saw Taeil his expression turned into that beautiful, sincere grin. All Taeil could do was gape at him. 

He came. He actually came. Taeil was in a state of complete shock. He really and truly hadn't believed Johnny would show up, even after saying he would, past experience had taught him not to believe such statements. But Johnny was here, here for him, and Taeil didn't know whether to laugh or cry with joy. He really chosen the perfect guy to be his crush. 

"Good luck," Johnny mouthed, a smile still on his lips. Slowly, Taeil managed a smile. 

Now he really had to do a good job. But he should've been even more nervous with Johnny here, but somehow, Taeil felt much better than before. It felt like even if he did mess up, at least one person out there wouldn't mind, wouldn't hate him for it. Like he had someone supporting him, for the first time in his life. 

And then, the music started, and Taeil began to sing. 

The first few seconds were pure torture, all of those faces looking at him do something so vulnerable like sing. He'd done this before but after all, he'd always been in the back, and he was pretty short in the first place. Truly, he had never been seen before this moment, and it was nothing less than terrifying. 

But soon enough his autopilot kicked in, and he just sang his little heart out. Johnny was out there, smiling at him, watching him willingly put himself on the line, and his choir teammates were next to him, singing along with him. Maybe...he was proud of himself. Maybe this would be okay. 

The first song ended and Taeil watched the crowd stand up for them, Johnny clapping loud with those giant hands of his, cheering loudly, a little bit embarrassing but Taeil couldn't stop himself from blushing and giggling. 

Time seemed to pass by in a blur. The group sang one more song, the soloists and duets sang, and Johnny smiled and cheered for every song, not bored in the slightest, and Taeil couldn't wipe the grin off of his face. It was going perfectly, better than he ever could have imagined. 

So as nervous as he was, it didn't destroy him when the song containing his short solo began to play. He sang along with the chorus part, taking deep breaths, his fingers shaking a little, but not enough to throw him off completely. It was his time, for the first time. 

Finally, the other voices died off, the music played loud, and the world fell silent as it was Taeil's turn to have his solo. Too nervous to look anywhere else he stared straight at Johnny, but the song quickly fell naturally from his lips. 

Basically he was on autopilot, he could barely hear himself sing at all, but he watched Johnny with all of his concentration. Johnny was smiling with encouragement, but once Taeil started to sing, his expression seemed to change. His eyes were wide, mouth slightly agape, and he refused to look away. Taeil knew it wasn't a negative reaction, but he still couldn't read it. 

Those sixteen counts finally finished, and Taeil stepped back into line, grinning in amazement at himself before joining the chorus again. He did it, he ing did it, and from what he could tell, he hadn't ed up, like, at all. He stared at the ground for a second, the shocked and happy smile still on his lips, before looking back to Johnny. His eyes seemed shy, somehow, wearing the littlest smile. And was he blushing? Taeil shook his head; it must have been the distance or the dark lighting. 

No time seemed to pass at all until the end of the competition, taking a bow with all of his choir mates and gracefully stepping backstage. But as soon as they were back there, all the grace seemed to fall away: letting out a collective scream, they all jumped up and down, tightly hugging each other. 

"We did it!" The normally quiet choir director yelled at the top of her lungs. 

A guy Taeil barely knew pulled him into a hug. "You were so ing good! That solo was killer!"

"You too!" Taeil said back, his timidness seeming to fall away in the relief and elation of the moment. 

Everyone went around hugging everyone; it didn't matter who was and wasn't close friends. Every single person came and told Taeil how good he had done, and Taeil didn't think he'd ever recieved so much praise in his entire life. 

Once everyone was done packing up their things, parents and friends and siblings began to filter in to congratulate their loved ones. Taeil sat there anxiously, was Johnny just going to leave now? Was Johnny even there in the first place? Had he imagined his crush's presence in a fit of delirious nervousness? 

"Taeil," a deep voice spoke behind him. He whipped around to see that tall, perfect frame standing in front of him. Johnny had actually come, grinning from ear to ear, and Taeil returned the expression. 

"H-Hi Johnny," Taeil said, a bit shyly. "You actually came."

"Of course I did. Didn't I say I would?"

"Yeah," Taeil breathed out, unable to stop blushing and smiling and fidgeting and all around making a fool of himself next to his choir teammates. But that was what Johnny's presence always seemed to do to him; Taeil had to just accept it at that point. 

"Are you doing anything now?"

"No, why?"

"Do you wanna get coffee with me?"

Taeil breathed in a surprised breath. "I-I would love to." He swung his backpack over his shoulders and looked up at Johnny. 

"Follow me. I'll show you my favorite place." Johnny started walking and Taeil followed him, out of the building and onto the street, on the way out of campus. As soon as they were a distance away, Johnny turned to Taeil. 

"You were amazing, really. I knew you were good, but I had no idea you were that ing good. I was so amazed. Especially your solo...it made me feel things." 

Taeil tried to not read too much into that last sentence and shook his head a little. "Ah, Johnny, it wasn't that good." 

"No. Taeil. It was. It was that good." 

Taeil flushed; he didn't know what to say. "W-well, thanks..."

Johnny grinned before making the most adorable little 'oh!' face, reaching into the inside pocket of his long coat and pulling out a single red rose. "Here. I didn't want to give it to you with all your choir people around, but after a recital, you always need flowers." 

Taeil had concentrate so hard on literally just walking with Johnny, utterly speechless as he took the rose with shaking hands. He repeated over and over again in his head that this was just a nice gesture, nothing romantic, that when you went to someone's show you had to bring flowers, it didn't mean anything. "Th-thank you," he managed to stutter out, gripping it tightly, noticing that all the thorns had been removed. 

"It's nothing," Johnny spoke with a grin. "Oh! Here we are." 

Taeil was still in a fog until they had finished ordering, not even mentally there enough to protest Johnny paying for him. It wasn't until they sat down and waited for their drinks that Taeil regained his wits. 

"Thank you for everything. For coming, for bringing me this, for...just for this." Taeil was never to good at articulating his words, especially around Johnny. 

"I told you I was gonna come, right? So I did. I really wanted to." 

"I didn't believe you at all until I actually saw you there in the crowd."

Johnny frowned. "Why would you think I would lie to you?"

Taeil began to shake his head, noticing Johnny was upset. "No no no. It wasn't about you. I just..." He sighed. "That day you asked to come was not a good day for me. I was feeling really bad about this whole competition thing." 

"What for?" Johnny asked, leaning in closer. He seemed concerned but at the same time clearly paying attention to what Taeil had to say. Just as Taeil took a deep sigh, about to speak, the buzzer for their coffees vibrated against the table. "Hold on, I'll go grab these, then tell me." Taeil nodded, watching Johnny's beautiful frame thank the barista and bring the tray to their seats. It was funny, comparing Taeil's barely, coffee, almost ice cream frappe thingie to Johnny's plain iced americano. Johnny took a sip of his drink and leaned back in, looking at Taeil intensely. "You really seemed upset that day. I didn't want to pry, but I was worried... what happened?" 

Taeil released a deep sigh. "So...I had originally asked my parents and my brother to come. But they both wouldn't come." 

"Why not?" Johnny responded, and Taeil was surprised to hear the slight anger in his tone. 

"Well, Hyungil had a game, which I get. My parents said they had to go to Hyungil's game though." 

"Isn't he not even on, like, a real team? Isn't his team just a club." 

Taeil nodded with defeat. "Exactly." 

Johnny released an aggressive sigh. "That's so ed. Didn't you do choir in high school? Did they at least go those events?"

"I was in choir in high school, but they never came to see me then either. But I get that, I was always in the back, so I understand. What would've been the point in them coming then?" 

"The point would have been to support you in something you're passionate about. It shouldn't matter whether you were in the back or not." Taeil sighed and shrugged; Johnny was right, but it hurt to think his parents wouldn't do such simple things for him. "They never call you or anything, they-"

"Don't remind me," Taeil interrupted with a sad chuckle. 

"Well...they're full of bs. Really. Honestly, I think your parents are the ones losing out by treating you this way. They are missing out on getting to know how cool and amazing and talented their son is." Taeil blushed and looked down at his pants, and Johnny did the same. "At least I...at least I can get to know you like this. I'm...I'm really glad I came." Johnny's voice was so soft and quiet, looking up at Taeil. Taeil could feel his heart threatening to break through his chest, clutching the seat, sipping his drink like his life depended on it. 

"I'm really glad too," Taeil answered. He finally looked up too, the two sharing a brief moment of tense eye contact before Johnny shook his head a little and cleared his throat. 

"Anyways...it's so unfair how your parents treat you. I'm sorry you've had to put up with it for so long."

"It's alright. I'm used to it." 

"You shouldn't be," Johnny answered, his voice stronger. 

Taeil sighed, yet again. "I just...I know I shouldn't bother to invite them to these kinds of things. I already know that I'll get rejected, and it'll hurt much worse than before. But I wanted to make them proud, just one time, and I thought this was such a good opportunity. But how can I make them proud if they don't even give me the chance to show them?"

Johnny thought about his answer for a moment. "You shouldn't need opportunities like this to make your parents proud. If they were decent parents, they already would be."

Taeil's jaws dropped a little. "Oh..."

"You don't need to prove yourself more than you already have. You've gone above and beyond in being a good student, son, and person."

"You...that's...that's really true, I guess. I have worked really hard." 

"You have. You've accomplished so much. To any sane parent, you would be their biggest source of pride. Taeil: it's not your fault. Don't blame yourself for the way you've been treated." 

Taeil took the last sip of his drink, swallowing thickly. "I-I.."

"I mean it." 

He was speechless. "Okay," Taeil simply responded.

Johnny smiled at him, finishing off his americano. "Promise me you'll take this to heart, okay?" 

Taeil thought he would do just about anything Johnny asked. "I will. I promise." Johnny grinned all the way and stood up. 

"Ready?"

"Yup." Taeil brought the tray back to the counter and followed after Johnny, the two heading back to their dorm. 

"The coffee there was damn good, right?"

"I couldn't exactly taste the coffee in my drink, but it was definitely delicious." Johnny laughed loudly, reaching their dorm building quickly. That must have been why Johnny liked it so much, Taeil thought, it was so close by that Johnny could just run and grab it. Clutching his rose, they made their way back up to their room. As soon as they were inside, Johnny shut the door and stood in front of Taeil. 

"You were so good," he said gently. 

"You don't have to say it any more."

Johnny smiled softly. "But I want to." With that massive hand of his, he reached and rested his hand in the crook between Taeil's neck and shoulder, lightly rubbing the exposed skin. "Taeil...if you don't feel comfortable, you totally don't have to. But I don't like thinking about how you probably spent days stewing over how your parents didn't come. If you ever want to talk about anything with me, I'm here. I promise. I mean, even if you don't want to talk about it and just want a distraction, we can hang out and stuff...alright?"

It was really hard to concentrate with Johnny touching him so affectionately, and even harder to not get completely weak in the knees at Johnny's words. Johnny really was a great friend, wasn't he? Taeil didn't deserve him, didn't deserve his friendship or even to have a crush on him. Taeil could never make Johnny half as happy as Johnny made him. But this was okay, so much more than okay, in fact. Taeil was lucky that Johnny did want to be friends with him, if nothing more. He was so lucky. 

"Y-yeah," Taeil stuttered, looking down as Johnny's fingers caressed his sensitive neck. "I will." 

"Could I give you a hug?"

Taeil in a big breath and looked up at Johnny, barely managing a nod before he was enveloped in Johnny's strong, muscular arms. Taeil released that breath with relief, feeling so utterly safe, his nerves seeming to fade away. Johnny was warm and big and strong around him and Taeil had to fight the urge to snuggle into him. 

"I'm here for you, alright?" 

Taeil nodded into his chest. "Alright." 

"And you'll be here for me too?"

"Of course," Taeil answered, barely above a whisper, trying for the millionth time to not read into it too much. They fell softly silent, their breaths syncing up in this bout of physical contact, the most Taeil had in so long.

"You're so small," Johnny finally mumbled, a teasing tone on his lips. 

"Hey!" Taeil whined, wiggling in Johnny's arms, not really wanting to escape all the way though. Johnny let him go, to his chagrin, but the laugh they shared definitely made up for it.