“I am breathing but, seems like my heart is broken.”

Agust D, 28

A week had passed, and I was glad that my father was on the road to recovery. While his sickly complexion remained, he was able to sit up now, albeit still with some assistance, and his cheeks were not as hollow as they had been on the day I arrived home.

Getting his strength back only meant one thing: he had the strength to rebel against me.

Which, for that matter, meant that he was on his way to health.

“You need to eat, Father,” I said, bringing the spoon to his lips, “Open up.”

He turned away.

“Here. You haven’t tried this one yet,” I said, “Smell it. It was made with the finest black bean sauce money can buy, and I got it for free!”

He shook his head, stubbornly facing away from me. “No.”

I pouted. “Listen, if this is because it’s from the palace, then that’s not a good reason not to eat,” I nagged, “It’s really good, you have to try it.”

He gave me a look and started to sigh.

I grinned, knowing he was starting to cave in. “You know you want to try it.”

Shutting his eyes in resignation, he opened his mouth and I cheered. “Good job, I’m proud of you,” I , as he chewed slowly, “It’s good, isn’t it? Don’t even bother hiding it, I know it’s good.”

There was a knock on the door, and I looked up to see Hoseok enter. “Well, if it isn’t the next Merchant of the family.”

He sat opposite me. “Want to follow me to the market today?” he asked, “Everyone’s going to be there, since it was closed for the past two days because of the blizzard. They should see you in all your fine glory.”

“Are you sure it’s not because you want to find an excuse to visit Naeun’s jewelry stall?”

Two spots of pink appeared in his cheeks. “What are you talking about?”

I rolled my eyes. “A little birdie told me she’s going to be at the market today,” I told him smugly, “Of course I would love to meet my future sister-in-law.”

Father snickered, surprising us both. “Ouch,” he said, clutching his side as he let out a rasp, “Haven’t heard a joke in a long time.”

“Even he's laughing at you,” I pointed out, “But you know what? I think it’s sweet of you, Hoseok. For someone who’s never committed to something aside from being a smelly drunkard beyond a week, this is a miracle. Now stop giving me that stupid grin and get dressed or something. You can’t be going to the market looking so drab.”

He scratched the back of his neck. “But my favorite color is green,” he whined, “Besides, I’m wearing a coat over.”

“I saw a grey one this morning, the one Jimin was folding. That looks good.”

“But grey is a depressing color-“

“It’s winter. Everything is depressing. Now hurry and get dressed. Look at me, I’m always ready.”

He pouted. “Not everyone looks like a court lady like you,” he complained, getting to his feet.

“As if I’d wear my brown rags when I have a gorgeous collection of dresses,” I said after him, turning back to Father.

In my conversation with my twin, I hadn’t noticed that he had taken the bowl from my hands, and was now eating by himself.

In fact, he was already halfway done, and looked like he was going to finish the rest of it soon.

I raised my eyebrow. “Told you it was good.”

“Only because you want me to eat,” he croaked hoarsely, “I’m eating for my daughter.”

“Uh-huh, sure. You do that.”

“Are you going to keep sending and fetching him from school like this?” Hoseok muttered under his breath as I waved at Jimin from outside the school.

I jabbed him with my elbow. “Of course I am! What else am I going to do, now that my childhood career has ended?” I replied snidely, before peering through the fences of the village school, “Jiminieeeee! Over here!”

The group of scholars turned at the sound of my voice and my younger brother sighed as they laughed.

Beside me, my twin shook his head in resignation. “I don’t know, find something to do?” he answered, “I mean, I confess, there’s nothing a woman can do anyways-”

“Shut up, I’m trying to do my job here,” I muttered, squinting at a group of rowdy scholars who were shoving each other and laughing loudly, “There he is.”

“There who is?”

I watched one of them separate from the rest, walking out of the side entrance where a village official waited for him. “Jung Jaehyun.”

“You’ve been coming to the school to find Jaehyun? Why?”

“What do you mean, why? That idiot of a scholar is a bully!”

“There’s nothing we can do, Eunji. His father literally built this school.”

“Who cares? I’m here to remember his face,” I said, turning to him, watching my brother walk out of the school gates, “If he touches a hair on my brother, he’s dead to me, his father be damned.”

“And what are you going to do?” my twin taunted, “Bat your eyelashes at him and make him fall in love?”

I gave him a look so murderous that he took a step back.

But before I could provide him a reason to be even more fearful of me, Jimin appeared. “Noona, I appreciate the enthusiasm, but really, sending and fetching me to school? In the winter?”

Hoseok ran to his side. “That’s what I said- oh, hello, Taehyung.”

I noticed Jimin’s friend - and the young man my mother had almost betrothed me to - behind him. “Hello, Taehyung.”

The boy grinned brightly. “Hello!” he chirped, “Let me guess. You’re going through all the colors in the rainbow?”

Man, he does not sound his age. Even Hoseok’s voice is higher.

I lifted my skirts and curtsied. “Why, Mr Kim, I was not aware you were even noticing,” I commented, “I am deeply humbled by your attention.”

Like Yoongi, he stuttered over his words, eventually settling for a flustered laugh. “Right, um, Jimin, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, “I’ll make my leave now. Goodbye Hoseok-hyung, Eunji-noona.”

I gave my best smile. “See you tomorrow.”

He bowed, but not before I saw the pink in his cheeks. Whether it was because of the cold or because of me, I was pretty sure it was the former.

Jimin rolled his eyes, hooking an arm around mine, dragging me along. “I swear, noona, quit playing with him like that. He already thinks you’re one of the prettiest girls in the village,” he chided, “Why are you even here?”

Hoseok fell into step beside him. “I tried to persuade her not to come, but she insisted on seeing who Jaehyun was,” he said, hopping out of the way as I tried to throw a punch at him.

“Noona!” he protested, “I told you not to fight my fights!”

I held onto his arm tighter. “First of all, don’t you even try to raise your voice at me,” I remarked airily, “You’re not even fighting, so let’s not even go there.”

“Why would I fight someone whose father-”

“You know,” I interrupted, as the Merchant’s Guild came into view, “The members of the school council who contribute to the school should serve the people. It shouldn’t be the other way around. Without the students, they’re essentially funding an empty house. They should remember who they are and get off their high horses.”

Jimin gave Hoseok a weary glance, before turning to me. “And what are you going to do if you see him pushing me around?”

“Same thing I asked her too,” my twin piped up.

“Shut up Hoseok. Jimin, if he pushes you, I will give that son of a pig-”

“Ahem,” someone interrupted us.

“-the treatment he deserves,” my voice faltered, “Mistress Song!”

Words couldn’t explain the feelings that had ignited in me; for years, there was something akin to deep admiration for the mistress of the gibang, despite the public scrutiny of her occupation of choice.

And, as much as I tried to deny it, she was some sort of mother figure to me, during the countless times she had shown compassion to my brothers and I.

The woman in a deep red fur coat smiled down at me as if she knew, holding a smoking pipe in her hand. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t the little street mouse and her brothers,” she said, a plume of smoke escaping her lips, “Although she looks like she’s been living well.”

“Living well?” Hoseok scoffed, “Look at her. She’s been living like a queen!”

Mistress Song placed the whistle to her burgundy lips, taking a long drag. “Is that so?” she asked, as the smoke surrounded us, filling my senses with something heady, “Interesting. What were you up to in the Capital, my little girl?”

“Um, I was in the employ of a noblewoman,” I recited my carefully prepared story, “I learned to read, write, and paint.”

“Fascinating. It must have been so different from this little village.”

“It definitely was.”

“Were you employed in the palace?”

“Oh, no. I’m just a peasant. Why would they want someone like me there?”

Mistress Song’s gloved fingers reached for my chin, tilting it up. “Do you know what I see?”

I shook my head.

Transfixed on her immaculately perfect face, I watched as her lips stretched into a smile. “Well, as a courtesan for the longest time, I can tell you this,” she told me, turning my chin to look at my face closely, “You already look the part. You need only sell it, and even the thickest of thieves would believe you were descended from royalty.”

I looked down at my feet. “It’s just the clothes making me look more extravagant,” I mumbled.

She let go, taking another drag of her pipe. “I disagree. I’ve always told you, your skills are wasted as your father’s daughter. If I were him, you wouldn’t even return home,” she commented, “You should have stayed from whence you came, it seems like you were thriving. Also, you never know, you might have caught a big fish in the palace. Maybe a prince, if you were lucky. Lord knows there are too many of them.”

Too bad she doesn’t know that I wasn’t at the Capital.

She might as well have talked about me not leaving the mountains.

Well, it’s just too bad that Yoongi isn’t some handsome prince.

She winked at me, before turning to my two brothers. “Grey looks good on you, Hobi,” she said, calling him by the nickname she used to call him as a child, “Why haven’t you worn it before? You particularly dazzle.”

He blinked at the unexpected compliment, and we watched her float through the crowd of people outside the Merchant’s Guild, making heads turn with the striking shade of red that commanded attention around her.

Well, Mistress Song is as charismatic as ever.

I don’t think that would ever change.

“Come on,” my twin urged, leading us towards the guild, which was a large building where we held our marketplace during the winters, “I need to get Eunji some ornaments.”

“You mean you need to use me as a cover while you speak with your girlfriend on the sly.”

“At least I had some kind of character development, instead of talking to a creature from the depths of hell.”

“Oh, you did not-” I started hotly.

Jimin raised his hands in between us. “Can we simply relax?” he asked, “Why all the debating over who does what?”

I folded my arms over my chest. “He started it,” I muttered, “Also, I better hope you don’t mean what you said about Yoongi, he’s ten times the man you will ever be.”

He waved a hand dismissively. “I don’t take offense at that, you’re probably right.”

I huffed, feeling agitated that my brother didn’t even try to argue with me.

Through the past week, Hoseok always had something to mention about Yoongi, and it was never anything good. Whether it was Yoongi being demonic, or Yoongi being predatory, it was always Yoongi this, Yoongi that.

I could take anything except insults against Yoongi. Especially whe he wasn’t here.

Especially because I knew that even if he was, he wouldn’t lift a finger to defend himself.

It was unfair of my brothers to discredit him like that.

Sometimes I wished Yoongi was fearsome, at least I wouldn’t be so bothered.

His tenderness made me miss him even more.

Jimin bumped his shoulder against mine. “Relax, noona,” he said, interlacing his fingers in mine. “He’s being petty because you made him wait instead of going to see Naeun first.”

I made a face, tucking a stray hair behind my ear. “He doesn’t even need me, look at him, already making his way to her stall.”

Jimin chuckled. “Sometimes, we just need to know that our family’s got our back,” he said, as we passed a stall selling wooden weapons.

“Well, he could be less of an idiot about it,” I murmured distractedly.

I could use a staff to practice in the courtyard in the mornings.

Would be nice to have something from my old routine.

And it’s a great way to let out whatever frustrations I have.

“When were we ever good at expressing our feelings?” Jimin sighed beside me.

A scruffy little boy was yelling prices, and he stopped when he saw me. “Eunji-noona!”

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite little thief,” I commented, reminded of Soonshim, “How are you, Baek? Still sneaking into the gibang for free food?”

“Mistress Song gives me food on the regular,” the boy chirped, “But she made me promise to do a respectable job.”

“I see you’re selling catapults and the like. Did you make them?”

“My brothers make them. I sell them.”

“Hopefully not at a high price.”

The boy’s eyes twinkled. “For you, noona, I’ll throw in a discount if you buy two items.”

I smirked. “Bold of you to think I’ll buy two items I don’t need.”

He shrugged. “A man’s got to make money,” he said, despite the fact that he was a thirteen-year-old boy with a tendency to steal jewelry right under the noses of rich men, “Is it true you trained with the sword?”

I nodded, raising a wooden staff into the air, testing it in my hands as I swung it over my head. “I was an archer too, albeit a novice.”

“I’ve got a bow here somewhere,” Baek piped up, looking around, “Here. My brother took a long time for that one.”

I took it from him. “Hmm,” I commented, drawing back the string, “Do you have an arrow?”

If I were at the palace, I would challenge Viscount Kim to a shooting match to see just how good I am against him.

Jimin watched me nock an arrow.

“Are you really going to do that here?” he asked with a smile, before a shadow fell over his face as he stared at something past me. “Oh, , what is he doing here?”

“Huh?” I asked, bewildered, “What are you looking at?”

I turned, firstly seeing my brother.

And then I saw a bunch of youths in scholar uniforms.

“I think I’m going to find Hoseok,” my brother said.

“Oh, no, you’re not,” I said, grabbing his sleeve, “You’re staying right where you are.”

Just then, I met Jungkook’s gaze.

It flitted from me to Jimin, before his eyes widened.

Jaehyun was oblivious. “Oi, Jimin!” he crowed, swaggering over, “What a surprise to see you here, of all the stalls! Getting something for me?”

My brother looked down at his feet as Jaehyun clapped him on the shoulder.

“He was getting it for me,” I said smoothly, leaning against the display table, “We’ve never met, Jung Jaehyun, is it?”

Taller than me, he scanned me from head to toe, something almost rapacious in his eyes. “Yes, ma’am. You must be his elder sister. I’ve heard many things about your beauty.”

He looked like a vulture circling around its dying prey. Gross.

Nevertheless, I willed myself to remain composed. “I hear you’ve been tormenting your fellow scholars,” I remarked with a pout, “My brother being one of them.”

The rambunctious boys behind him whistled, making Jaehyun grin even more dangerously. “Is that what Jimin told you.”

“Oh, it wasn’t him. In fact, I’m appalled that he didn’t. But now that it’s out in the open,” I said, the bow in my hands, “I want to see exactly what you do with him.”

“We just play around, don’t we, Jimin?”

The mute silence that responded cast a slightly uncomfortable smile on the perpetrator’s face.

I clamped down a hand on my brother’s arm, shoving him towards Jaehyun. “Show me how you play around.”

By now, the people were starting to mill about, pretending to shop while curiously listening in on our conversation.

I knew Jaehyun and his cronies were starting to feel uneasy, but they didn’t want to back down from a girl. I could tell as much.

As for my youngest brother, he looked worriedly between me and Jaehyun, who was now placing an arm around my brother’s shoulders.

Jimin froze up, shooting daggers at me. He looked like he wanted to sink into the ground and never come up.

“That’s all?” I said with a pout, “Where do the purple bruises come from?”

Jaehyun turned pink. “He must’ve fallen. Sometimes I accidentally push him.”

“Do it.”

He