7. Insecurity

 

Every human that breathing under the sky of the earth has the capability to feel secure or insecure. Insecurity comes when people has a doubt on something or when they feel unsure about everything happen in their life.

A doubt can only emerge when someone is not believing into something.

 

But..

 

To believe on something also not easy.

 

Many thing needs to be considered, we can’t just believe into something that has no trusted source. Maybe we can also worried about the risk of believing it.

So that’s why, when you believe to someone, it can be mean that he or she is someone you know for your whole life, or someone that you care and trusted the most.

 

But then again,

Insecurity can also appear when you want to believe on that someone you care and trust the most, but somehow,

 

The condition around you and him or her aren’t supporting you.

Useless worries, unwanted fear, or even unnecessary threat can consume your head and change your trust into an,

Insecurity.

 

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1 January 2019

"Chaaaengg !! Mina is hereee.." mom informs me from downstairs.

“Okay mom, I’ll get down in a second!” I yelled back.

"Finally. What takes her so long?" Finally, she arrives. She told me she was on the way to my house like 20 minutes ago but she just arrives now. Our houses is close enough for you to even walk, but 20 minutes is just too long.

I shut down my laptop, i was watching some random videos on youtube waiting for her. I already done cleaning my room and prepare my bed for the harry potter marathon.

 

I walk down the stairs with my heart beat getting faster every time my feet touch the next step. I promise to myself that i will try my hardest to forget about my feeling to mina, i will work my best to appreciate mina as my best friend and not more.

I know mina will never stop with the skinship, or even lessen the skinship, but i need to be strong for her even though it is hard for me.

 

Finally, I arrive on the last staircase.

I stand behind the door, with my hand still hanging on my side because I’m still preparing myself for everything that might be happen as soon as I open the door and meet her.

 

"Okay chaeng, you can do it." I made my mind.

I took a deep sigh, "now open the door and greet your BESTFRIEND."

Finally, my hand found it's way to the door knob and slowly open the door.

 

 

 

"CHAENG !!" she screams and quickly hug me tight.

"Mina h-h-hi! You miss me that much huh?" i said while this girl still hanging on me.

"Yes.. And i bu.. Oh hi omoniem !!"

"Oh hi mina !" turns out my mom was walking to the kitchen and it was in the same direction to the door.

Mina quickly release my poor body and reaching out to my mom. She hugs her too and showing something she bought for us.

"i bought some cakes for us omoniem. The Son family loves strawberries right? So i bought this."

 

Both of them walk to the kitchen leaving me in awe. Mina and mom always getting along with each other well since the first time they met. Mina said my mom is one of the sweetest and the most caring person in the world, and i totally agree with that.

Mina showing the strawberry cakes to mom and currently they are talking about their hypothesis about the cake recipe. Mom loves to cook and mina has a little interest in that, mostly on something sweets.

 

 

"The mixture of the sugar and the syrup was too good, isn't it omoniem ?" mina asked.

"Yeah, it doesn't taste too sweet but just enough, perfect for me. And the whip cream...."

"Oh yes yes! This bakery has the best whip cream in town. They even sell the whip cream separately in packages. Someday if i came to visit you again i'll buy you one, omoniem." with the sweet smile plastered, and her eyes full of excitement she said.

"You are really sweet mina ssi, but you don't have to, i can't ask this lazy kid to buy me some." mom squint her eyes with her eyeballs definitely looking at the direction of me.

"Mom......" i whine.

"I'll take her with me then, so she can move herself from her laptop. Deal ??"

"What deal?"

"Actually it is a good idea, chaeng" I can’t believe mom is actually standing on the same pledge with mina instead of me.

"See chaeng, even your mom is siding on me."

"Whatever." i said with a smile.

They both giggling to each other after my respond cause they know they just defeated me once again.

 

 

 

After we all done with a slice of cake, I, with mina's help, clean the table and the dishes before going upstairs to my room.

Mina also bought some chips for the harry potter marathon. Mina loves to snack, she can skip her meal just to eat some bags of chips.

 

"Here. You need to drink more if you are planning to finish those chips for yourself." i hand her a mineral water bottle. I prepare it before hand, she might hurt for eating too much snacks.

"We will eat these together you know."

"But heavens know you will eat like 80% of it."

"Well.... It might be true."

"See... So here, take it."

Mina than take the bottle and put it beside her. I giggle after her childish act just now.

"Thanks chaeng."

"No problem, i'm the one who should thank you for the strawberry cake." i said while walking to the dvd player with the CD on my hand.

"I know you like strawberry, so i really want you to eat the cake."

"Mom enjoys the cake too."

"I actually don't know that the whole Son family loves strawberry." she said proudly.

 

Wait.

So she actually brought the cake especially just for me?

 

"So.. What is omoniem favourites?" she asked.

"She likes... Oranges i guess."

"Oh i see.. Noted that. Hehe"

"So you actually bought the strawberry cake just for me. Only for me?" i dare myself to ask.

"Of course! Exclusively for my chaeng chaeng who were feeling down yesterday." she said with a slight of aegyo.

"Stop with your aegyo." i mocked her cause those kind of aegyo is too dangerous for my heart.

"Whateverrrrrrrrr...." mina still with the aegyo.

"Ug