Jimin

 

"Eunae ? Hi, is Eunmi alright ? I didn’t heard her tonight.

• You kinda grow into it right ?

• What ?

• Anyway, Eunae smiled, Eunmi wasn’t here tonight, she left.

• What ?

• She’s going back to work. I’m going to leave too, soon. Now that we know the truth, there’s no reason for us to stay."

 

Her last words felt like a slap across the face all over again. No reason to stay.

Eunmi couldn’t have found a single reason to stay ?

Eunae left the room and I saw that Yoongi had heard her. He came to me and grabbed my arm.

 

"Hey, what does this mean ?

• You heard her.

• But... I thought they wouldn’t be upset after a while.

• They won’t be, but.. This is just a part of their live they... don’t need anymore. They’ve been mourning, they’ve got used to a life without us so now...

• They don’t have room for us anymore ?"

 

He let go of my arm and sat on the couch.

 

"I thougt... I thought this was just... a phase, I thought we would be like before. We’re their friends and...

• Are we ?

• Of course.... How can you doubt that Jimin ? Eunmi just left, doesn’t it make you feel anything ?

• I... I can’t say what it makes me feel... We are... living on different planets now.

• I need to tell the others."

 

I sighed, despite the guys acting like they were cool with the girls being angry and ignoring us, I knew they would be crushed. Specially Jungkook, how would he feel knowing the girl, the first girl he ever had feelings for was about to leave his life, and maybe for ever ?

 

I found Jungkook at the girl’s place, he was laughing with Yuri over some book, no, now was not the time to flirt with some girl Jungkook ! I pushed Yuri away.

 

"We need to talk.

• Hey careful, you could have hurt her.

• Oh, Jungkook’s so sweet, Haneul said, don’t steal him away Jimin.

• I’m sure it’s important, Suhee said to help out, her hand on my back, go Jungkook, Yuri and Haneul won’t run away."

 

Jungkook smiled and I rushed him out of the room.

 

"What’s your deal Jimin ?!

• Eunmi left !

• What ?

• She left in the night, she is out there again, and she’s not coming back any time soon, and Eunae is going to do the same.

• Wh... I don’t understand... Leave but..

• Ok, let me get this straight for you, if you do nothing, if we do nothing, Eunae is going to leave this place for good and you are going to loose her. So stop flirting with Yuri because it’s easy ok ? Be a grown up and go find the one girl that actually matters."

 

Jungkook bite his lips and sighed.

 

"She hates me, you saw it didn’t you ?! She hates us all,just like her sister, and it got worse since yesterday ok ?

• You can fix this ! I held on to his arm keeping him from going back.

• No, I can’t fix it for me or for you.

• What ?

• You think I’m stupid or something ? The only reason you care about me and Eunae’s relationship is because you’re hoping it will also fix yours with Eunmi. Well guess what Jimin ; next time you care about someone don’t go sleeping around with other girls when she’s not around, that might keep your relationships from falling appart.

• It was a mistake.

• Not, it wasn’t, Jungkook pushed me away, it was you and that girl from your shelter, and Haneul, and then Suhee, you could have said no, but you didn’t, and then you asked for it, and now it’s blowing up to your face because Eunae knows and Eunmi knows and she isn’t THAT forgiving. She may forgive us one day for making her think we were dead but she won’t be able to take you back, I’m sorry but you made your own bed, now you’ve got to sleep in it, and so do I."

 

He left me standing in the hallway alone, what could I have said ? He was right. All of this was too ed up to ever work again.

They were messed up and so were we, how could it work together ?

How could I have hoped things would just go back to what they were ? I sat down, unsure of what I should do next.

 

 

Eunae

 

Luckily enough, I had only a day to wait, and I didn’t had much to pack. I followed Mrs Han through the living room. Only Jimin and Jin were there so I had to do what was right, or at least try to be the nice guy.

 

"Well,it’s goodbye guys, I smiled lightly, take care and... Well, let’s just hope this war ends soon. Jin I’ll try to find something for your allergies,it must be tough here with all the... dust.

• Thank you... Good luck... Out there.

• Eunae...Jimin got up, you... You take care too. And..

• I know, I sighed, I’ll take care of Eunmi too.

• I...

• Well, we’ve got to go now. Say bye to the rest for me."

 

I followed Mrs Han through a long and dark corridor, we went next to two big doors saying "lab"and I couldn’t help but feel a bit scared by what that meant.

 

"Are they here... The soldiers ?

• I can’t tell you that. But I guess lab talks for itself.

• You’re right...

• WAIT !"

 

I stopped and I felt someone wrapping their arms around me. A shiver went down my spine, as Jungkook squeezed me against him, his head above mine.

 

"Please don’t go."

 

Mrs Han stepped aside, probably feeling awkward.

 

"Don’t...I said.

• Please... Please Eunae stay. I know that you hate me, and you can hate me all you want... It’s ok if you’re angry, and you don’t talk to me, and it’s ok if you need space but... Please, promise me you’ll come back.

• I can’t promise you that Jungkook, I put a hand on his, please let go of me. Our lives... They aren’t... linked anymore.

• Don’t say that. Eunae I... I regret this, I do, but I can’t do anything to change what I did, I can’t...

• Jungkook... I don’t blame you.. I blame you a little, I admit, but...

• I’m still in love with you, he whispered, I thought... I thought I wasn’t but... Knowing you were leaving me for ever... I can’t live with that. Promise you’ll come back.

• I can’t....

• Please. I’ll do anything for you.

• It’s not about you ! I pushed his hands away and turned around despite the tears, it’s about how I am terrified of loving you again and loosing you again ! I can’t... It hurts too much. Loving someone that you know you may loose... I don’t think I can come back because if I fell in love with you again I’m just going to suffer even more, and I’m not ok with it. I don’t like the pain that much. So you have to let me go and accept the fact that we may never see each other again."

 

I did a few step backward and finally turned around too follow Mrs Han. She didn’t said anything, did she always knew about our feelings ? Probably.

Jungkook stayed behind, he didn’t followed us,and I didn’t looked back.

 

Eunmi

 

At work things were horrible, people had been badly hurt from the bombs, the emergencies had never been so full, and I kept wondering how long would this war be ?

Dr K kept asking about Eunae, and his obsession started to feel a bit scary. But for the first time, I realized, I didn’t had to feel bad about myself anymore, I could look at the few mens around, I could even flirt without feeling guilty. I could be a young women in her twenties again.

There was this cute guy working as a doctor, well, he was really an intern, but I always thought he was cute.

And I had a shift with him.

I had started to take night shift after leaving the underground shelter, since the force wasn’t giving us any missions for now, I figured I could.

 

"Hey, Eunmi, you started working at night ? A girl said.

• Yeah, it was about time

• Have fun with Dr Jiwon tonight.

• Oh, is he nice ?

• He is, cute, nice, single, I really don’t get what’s wrong with him."

 

I smiled, I hadn’t laughed in a while, but smiling was ok, honest smiling not the fake smile you put on to make people believe you’re fine.

After taking care of a few children’s temperature and changing perfusions I went to the resting room for night shift.

 

"Oh. Dr Jiwon.

• Oh, Eunmi right ?

• That’s what it says, I said showing my badge.

• Long time no see, I heard you got stuck in a basement during the bombing.

• I did.

• Must have been scary.

• Where were you ?

• Home, lucky for me, I heard at the hospital things were horrible, people rushing in with every kind of injury.

• Right...

• Want some coffee ? Your sister isn’t here ? Twins right ?

• Yes. Identical twins actually.

• Wow, I had a women who gave birth to twin last week, it was scary, she was very early on her pregnancy, but the trauma of bombs made her go into labor.

• How did it go ?

• Well it was a long night, and I was shaking a lot,but they all made it, mom and kids. I’m just scared about how it’s going to go with the war, I mean houses are destroyed, people are going to die out in the streets or in shelters, so with two premature babies...

• She doesn’t stand a chance.

• Well we still have food and supplies, a lot, but... building everything back is going to take time,and if there is some kind of sickness that spreads.

• Yeah...

• Anyway, sorry, you must have a lot of things on your mind, he smiled.

• Me ? Why ? I’m fine.

• Oh, it’s just, these last months you looked... well, not fine.

• Oh, I... Lost someone. But i’m fine now.

• Did you saw a therapist ?

• Thera... Oh no. I don’t like that.

• Why ? In times like this they can be pretty useful.

• You see one ?

• Every two weeks, because of all the deaths, it’s hard not to quit. He smiled, it’s the first time you and I have an actual conversation.

• Is it ?

• Yeah, it’s kinda nice. Tell me more about you, I’m curious. I know you’re a great nurse, that you have an identical twin sister who works here too, and I know you don’t like therapists.

• Well, that’s about it, I smiled, I also really like chocolate, so I’m going to buy some.

• Take one for me then. I like chocolate too."