Jimin

 

I had a brief talk with a boy named Jaemin, he was barely eighteen, and he was very scared. I could only talk to him, since the scientist were scared that a human presence would be too much at once, they rather had him talking to a few different people every day.

Working with these people was different then with the soldiers, they talked easily about their pasts, about what they were, and what they had been through, but it was like their will had died. They didn’t had any idea of what life could be like for them, because they thought life was done with them. They thought they didn’t deserved to go home, they were dead, how could they ?

I spend a few days like that, talking to different people, they were all at different stages, some were accepting that maybe there weren’t dead, and some were starting to ask to see us in real, but some were very scared, terrified this was all a lie and it would just be an illusion or a trap.

I felt sad for these ones, they still had so much work to do before they could accept to go back to normal life.

When we tried to explain they had been tricked by scientists, a lot of them asked "how do we know you’re not tricking me right now then ?". It was hard to find the right answer, but I finally decided that the truth in that case was the best thing to say. "I can’t, I can’t prove anything to you. But if you could try to trust me, maybe you will be able to believe me, I’m your friend right, friends don’t lie."

 

Every day I went to the camera room, to watch Eunmi. Sometimes she was comunicating with someone, I couldn’t hear her voice, but I could see how confused she looked. She was in this dark room and some stranger was talking to her, and she had to answer, and he was telling her she was alive, how could she believe it was true ? After all this time feeling dead.

Everyday I asked the ones that had talked to her, how was she today, did she felt ok, did she made any progress ?

 

"Why is her room always dark ?

• She likes it better that way. But we were able to put small lights on the ceiling, so it looks like a night sky, it seems she likes it.

• But...

• Some patients need time, for now, she feels more comfortable in the dark, safer. But one day, she will be ready for the sun and life again. Don’t worry, they all will."

 

I hadn’t called Jungkook or Eunae yet, first because I hadn’t talked with them in a month, second because I didn’t knew how to tell them. Specially to Eunae. What was I supposed to say ? "Hey your twin sister is alive and she is in the lab where I work, she’s gone a bit nuts but she’ll be fine soon according to the doctors !".

I hadn’t told anyone actually, because I felt like Eunae should be the first to know, but telling her was just so damn hard !

It took me an entire week to call them and ask them if I could visit them.

 

Eunae

 

I put some fruits on the table and looked over to Jungkook.

 

"Why does it feel weird that Jimin is coming over for coffee ?

• It feels like we’re adults right ? Welcoming each overs and stuff !

• Yeah... That too, I laughed, but.. a month ago he couldn’t even look at me and now he wants to come here on his own and look at me in the eyes ? That’s just weird.

• I told you he would come along. He must miss us.

• Or he wants to kill me.

• Why would he ?

• I don’t know it’s Jimin ! Who knows what’s inside his head."

 

Someone knocked and I jumped out of fear.

 

"It’s me, Jimin."

 

Jungkook went to open the door and we smiled. Jimin came in with an emotionless face.

 

"Guys...

• Coffee ? Tea ? I asked.

• None I...

• Come on while you’re here drink something !

• Ok tea then...

• Thank god..."

 

I made tea while Jungkook and Jimin spoke about how Jin and Taehyung were doing, and how life was weird outside the bunker, but as soon as I sat down Jimin went silent. I sighed.

 

"Jimin, if you’re still not comfortable around me... You shouldn’t have come, I won’t be mad because you avoid me a little longer.

• It’s not that I... I have something to tell you, and I think you should put that down, he said talking about the cup of tea, this is going to.. shake you, a lot.

• What is it ? Jungkook took my hand. Are you ok ?

• I am, I... It took me some time to get over the news too but... Hum.

• Just tell us, this is very stressful.

• Eunmi is alive."

 

I blinked a few times before looking over to Jungkook who looked as stunned as me.

 

"What now ? Jungkook said, Did you go insane ?

• It’s the truth. I saw her, she was held captive in a lab, they have been experimenting on her but now we’re working to make her feel safe again and..."

 

I grabbed his shirt and held it high so he would look into my eyes.

 

"What lab ?! Where is she ?!"

 

He put his hand on mine and shaked his head.

 

"It’s a secret.

• DON’T ! DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME MY SISTER IS ALIVE AND JUST THINK YOU CAN KEEP HER AWAY FROM ME !

• I’m not... Trying to keep her away , he pushed me and got up,I just can’t tell you anything about the lab yet.

• Why ?

• Because. I’m sorry, I brought pictures."

 

He took some printed pictures out of his coat and gave them to me. She looked so different and yet... The same. I started to see red spots and suddenly, everything went dark.

 

Jungkook

 

It took hours of persuasion and yelling to get Eunae to sit down and think. Think about it, really think about it, obviously it wasn’t easy to convince her that the best thing to do right was to do nothing. So I decided to call Mrs Han, who as a more powerful member of the force might be able to get Eunae to visit her sister. Jimin had told us it wouldn’t be possible for some time, but Eunae wasn’t very trusting about him.

Before he left I sat with him outside the house.

 

"We’ve been through so many crazy thing, he said, how do you handle it ? How do you found peace like you did with Eunae ?

• I didn’t, I giggled, everytime we’re about to have peace together some crazy happens, I smiled, but this time I believe this is going to make our lives better and not worse.

• I wouldn’t bet on that.

• Why ? Eunmi is alive, shouldn’t it make you happy ?

• It does. It’s... shocking, I’m still in shock, and I think I will be until I can talk to her. And it’s probably the same for Eunae, it’s so unreal you know.

• I guess it is.

• You don’t feel that way do you ?

• No, I’m just glad, and I see why you two are so moved, I am too... I just... I’ve pushed my emotions away for so long, to help Eunae, to help the kids in the shelter, I kept hiding my feelings and now.. It’s like I can’t feel anything right away. I need time to process.

• Hm, Jimin sighed, I’m scared.

• Why ?

• That she will have changed.

• Of course she’s changed, she thought she was dead, it has to mess you up a little..

• Yeah but... What if she is changed beyong repair ?

• She isn’t broken.

• She might be ! Look at the soldiers !

• You’re fixing the soldiers!You’ll fix her too !

• They can’t be fixed ! He hold his head in his hands, they can be fixed until some point, but the trauma and the habbits sinked in so well, they will always present troubles in society, be a potential danger.

• But it’s different with Eunmi right ? She’s been there for a short period. Don’t worry, I put an arm around him, she’ll be fine, and you’ll be fine too Jimin, you are fine ok ?"

 

I slowly nod and I put my head on his, even if he was older than me, tonight, I felt like he was the one that needed me for the first time.

 

Mrs Han told us to wait, and Jimin told us to wait, all the waiting was getting Eunae closer and closer to madness and confusion. I had to be patient, I knew it, but sometimes I felt like I couldn’t think straight anymore, like if I was broken too.