Hyunjin doesn’t think she’s ever been this happy. When she sees her reflection in the various mirrors of her house, she can barely recognise herself, the sight of her smiling face almost alien to her. Her face hurts sometimes from smiling too widely, but it’s a hurt she’s ultimately willing to endure. She just can’t help it.

So when her cheeks ache slightly from being stretched into a grin, Hyunjin chooses to ignore the pain, instead focusing on standing up from the park bench to greet her girlfriend with open arms. Girlfriend. Heejin is her girlfriend. The word alone puts Hyunjin straight onto cloud nine, remembering the fact that they’re now more than friends never failing to make her feel giddy.

It’s that happiness that she tries to remember as she checks the time yet again. 5:21pm. She can’t help but to be pissed off. Heejin had be the one insisting that they meet up at 5, and yet she’s the one that doesn’t bother to show up on time? Unbelievable.

Heejin turns up less than two minutes later. Finally.

“Sorry I’m late!” Heejin says as soon as she’s within earshot. Her words are breathless, her tired expression and the way she’s panting making it obvious that she ran here. Hyunjin can no longer find it in herself to be mad, instead greeting Heejin with open arms and a smile.

With a grin of her own, she accepts Hyunjin’s hug, murmuring some half-hearted excuse into the fabric of Hyunjin’s jacket.

Slightly winded by Heejin’s enthusiastic embrace, Hyunjin places a hand on her back lightly. “Hello to you too,” she says with a slight laugh, having already forgiven the girl, “don’t worry, it’s not like you’re late for anything important.”

All too soon, Heejin pulls away.

Before Hyunjin can even start to miss Heejin’s touch, Heejin’s hand slips down to find Hyunjin’s. Their fingers interlock smoothly and naturally, as if they had done the motion a thousand times before.

“Of course I was,” Heejin says, pouting as if Hyunjin’s words had somehow offended her, “meeting with you is always important.” To emphasise her words, Heejin clasps Hyunjin’s hand a little tighter, but still gently, as if she is the most precious thing in the world.

Although such cheesy words would usually only inspire an eyeroll or maybe just a sigh if Hyunjin were feeling nice, Hyunjin unexpectedly does neither and chooses to stay silent. She hopes that her non reaction would somehow keep the other girl from noticing just how much the words had affected her, but the opposite occurs.

“You’re blushing!”

“What? Of course I’m not.” Hyunjin denies vehemently, even though she can feel the heat in her cheeks.

“Not blushing, huh?” Heejin’s free hand rises to press into Hyunjin’s rapidly warming face, the other hand still busy holding Hyunjin’s. Sensing Heejin’s movement, Hyunjin pulls away with the speed of a ninja, still adamantly refusing Heejin’s ridiculous claim.

Blushing? Over a pretty girl holding her hand and calling her pretty? That would be lame. Hyunjin would rather die than admit just how lame, just how in love she is with the girl beside her. So, yes, she may in fact be blushing a little, but she’ll take that knowledge straight to the grave.

“I’m definitely not blushing,” Hyunjin indignantly says, swatting away Heejin’s hands. “Get your hands away from me!”

“Are you just turning into a tomato then?” Heejin cheekily retorts, bringing her arms back to her sides after finally giving Hyunjin’s cheek a slight pinch, allowing Hyunjin to relax slightly. “It’s okay if you are. I think you’re really cute all red like that.”

Heejin goes in for another sneak attack, this time foregoing using her hands altogether, choosing to land a brisk peck on Hyunjin’s cheek. Her movement was so fast that Hyunjin might not have even noticed it if not for the annoyingly smug smirk on Heejin’s face afterwards, if not for the feel of Heejin. Naturally, Hyunjin’s body reacts to the action - her blush deepening and even spreading to her ears.

“See?” Heejin says, clearly satisfied with herself, “you’re blushing.” Giggles bubble into Heejin’s throat, the sweet sound making Hyunjin suddenly forget her embarrassment and annoyance. Since laughter tends to be contagious, Hyunjin only laughs in response, grabbing hold of Heejin’s hand once again and pulling her along.

The beach hasn’t changed much since their last visit: the waves still lap onto the sands languidly, the breeze still carries the distinct scent of the ocean, the sea shells are still scattered around the place. In fact, the only thing that seems to have changed is them.

Hyunjin’s slightly surprised to see that the they are the only two people there. Granted, it is winter; the first snow fell about a week ago - making the weather a tad too cold for beach going. She’s glad they’re alone though. Not that she’s in any way ashamed to be with Heejin, of course, but Hyunjin still finds it difficult to say that she’s dating a girl. It still feels like… something to hide.

Hyunjin starts to play with the ring on her finger, a habit she had unwittingly formed by twisting it every time she became nervous or bored. Ever since Heejin had given it to her, she always touched it whenever she started to miss the other girl. Heejin turns to her, sees her fidgeting with her ring and beams.

“I like seeing that on you,” Heejin says. Her body’s fully turned to Hyunjin, taking the risk to walk backwards in order to give Hyunjin all of her attention.

“Well good,” Hyunjin responds, “cause I’m never gonna take it off.” Hyunjin’s statement makes Heejin smile impossibly wider.

Soon after, Heejin stops in her tracks. “Yep, right here is fine,” she proclaims, before sitting down and patting the spot next to her. “Sit down.”

Hyunjin does so, grimacing all the while, going slowly and cautiously so as to not get any sand into her shoes. As expected, tiny rocks and shells make their way into her socks anyway and she makes a disapproving sound at the back of . Great.

“Why did you want us to go to the beach today?” Hyunjin asks, half out of curiosity and half just to complain. She likes the beach just fine, after all good memories were made here. But there are dozens of places around town they could have gone to, all of them with heating and much better seats.

“We need to talk,” Heejin says. Her tone is so serious, voice lower than usual, that it sounds strange coming out of . Especially after how light the conversation had been on the way here.

Uncomfortable with the sudden change of mood, Hyunjin tries to break the tension with a joke. “Uh oh. You’re trying to break up with me? Already?”

“No, nothing like that,” Heejin assures her. She doesn’t even bother to laugh, instead continuing to speak. “It’s just… do you remember the last time we came here?” Heejin asks, even though she knows the answer. They both know that the memory of their first kiss is permanently ingrained in Hyunjin’s brain, especially after Hyunjin admitted as much in her letter.

“Of course I do.”

“Do you remember what we talked about?” Heejin asks, “and the promise we made?”

The promise? Hyunjin remembers every promise she’s ever made with the other girl. All the important and significant ones all the way to the minor ones that were made as jokes rather than serious agreements. Hyunjin had thought that this particular promise fit into the second category. Leaving home when they have no money, it’s absurd to even think about.

“Yeah?”

“I wasn’t so sure back then but…” Heejin says, hesitating before her next words, “I think it’s a good idea. Let’s go.”

“You can’t be serious,” Hyunjin lets out, “Heejin, our exams are coming up! We can’t just up and leave.”

“But you promised!” Heejin whines. Her bottom lip juts out into a pout and her eyes turn soft, as if Heejin knows that acting cute will lead to her getting her way. She’s right of course - Hyunjin could never turn down her puppy dog eyes.

Sighing, Hyunjin decides to play along. Heejin is the most stubborn person she’s ever met. Arguing would be useless. Hyunjin knows that there’s nothing she could say to change the other girl’s mind. “If we could, where would you go?”

“I’d go wherever you are,” Heejin says, “there isn’t really anything else that matters.”

She looks at her, eyes sparkling, making it clear that her words are nothing short of truthful. Like Heejin really believes that nothing matters except for the fact that she is with Hyunjin. Hyunjin thinks that she’ll never get used to the way Heejin looks at her, like Heejin didn’t quite believe Hyunjin’s really hers.

“Well, obviously, dork.” She pulls Heejin into a sidehug, muttering her next words into Heejin’s hair. “Tokyo, maybe?”

“I dunno. Every time I hear you in Japanese class...” Heejin trails off, grimacing. “Let’s just say it’ll be hard to get around Japan with you dragging me down.” Hyunjin takes offense at this, letting the girl go in order to playfully thump the back of Heejin’s head. Heejin chuckles, and while rubbing her head she gives another suggestion. “How about Paris? That’s always been a dream of mine.”

“Yeah well, I’m pretty sure my Japanese is miles better than your French.”

Even though Heejin laughs again, Hyunjin can tell that something’s wrong just by looking at her. She seems a bit too desperate to leave, as if the thought of staying in the small town might kill her. There has to be some unspoken reason why Heejin took her all the way across town to talk, right?

“What’s the real reason we’re here, Heejin?” she asks.

Heejin’s expression suddenly changes, her eyes now downcast and completely losing their sparkle. Her shoulders tense up and she starts to play with the sand next to her, picking up a handful and letting it fall between her fingers.

Hyunjin can’t help but to feel as if this is her fault. Maybe she should have just played along without asking questions and not ruined the mood like she always seemed to. “You don’t have to tell me,” Hyunjin says bitterly, “I know it might not be any of my business. I’m sorry. I… I probably just made everything worse--”

“No, no,” Heejin interrupts, “don’t say that. You’re the only thing that makes me feel better. I appreciate that you care enough to ask.” Heejin laughs a little, but it sounds hollow and harsh. “You know, you’re the only one that’s cared enough to notice that anything’s wrong.”

Heejin bites her lip, eyes still not daring to look at Hyunjin. “The situation at my house’s getting worse. I needed to get out of there and see you.”

Ah. Of course that's the problem. It always is. 

Hyunjin has only met Heejin’s parents a handful of times, but she already knows she hates them. Anyone who could make her Heejin feel this bad immediately goes onto Hyunjin’s hitlist.

Heejin’s words stab at Hyunjin’s heart. She hates that she can’t do anything but be there for her, hates how useless she feels about it all. She can’t change a single thing. It feels even worse because Heejin is the one who makes her heart soar in her chest, makes her so happy it hurts. It hurts because she can’t ever make Heejin as happy as Heejin makes her. Because Heejin deserves all the happiness in the world.

“And… I want to leave for real, no, I need to, but-” She finally looks up, her gaze connecting with Hyunjin’s. “I wanna leave with you. Somewhere. Anywhere.”