It’s pretty late.

After their classes ended, they walked to the nearby beach to hang out, making dumb jokes along the way. Hyunjin had made an utter fool of herself trying to make Heejin laugh, yelling nonsensical words embarrassingly loud all the way there, making Heejin chuckle and hit her playfully.

The sun went down maybe an hour ago; Hyunjin’s breaking her curfew but it doesn’t matter.

The worst punishment she had ever gotten from her parents was a week without her phone and that was for something much more serious than being home late [she didn’t know that windows broke that easily, alright?].

She doubts they’d care much anyway. She had sent a text their way about hanging out with Heejin for a few more hours. Even though Heejin had only met her parents a few months ago, they already trusted her more than they did Hyunjin, so they wouldn’t mind - or at least that’s what Hyunjin rationalises to herself.

So as Hyunjin’s sitting back enjoying the wind coursing through her hair and the calming sounds of the waves crashing, she has no worries in her mind. It’s always relaxing just to sit and talk with Heejin, she finds. Joking around with the other girl never failed to fill Hyunjin with a comfortable warmth she had never felt with anyone else. 

“It’s getting late,” Heejin says. 

When Hyunjin turns to look at her, she sees that Heejin’s eyes are closed and there’s a gentle smile on her face. Unknowingly, Hyunjin also smiles to herself. She can’t help it. 

“It is,” Hyunjin agrees.

Neither makes a move to get up. Instead, Heejin rests her head on Hyunjin’s shoulder, the feeling of Heejin’s long brunette hair against her bare skin tickling her pleasantly. Hyunjin tilts her head to rest it above the other girl’s. It’s hard to believe they met not too long ago; to Hyunjin it felt as if they had known each other their entire lives.

It takes a few moments before either of them talk again. 

“I wish we didn’t have to go back home,” Heejin says.

When Hyunjin looks at her again, her eyes are open and shining. They’re filled with an admirable enthusiasm, the very same enthusiasm that drew Hyunjin to befriend her in the first place. “Promise me something, Hyun.”

Hyunjin can see the light of the moon reflected in those dark browns of hers and it comforts her, making her feel safe in a way that only Heejin can. It’s almost ridiculous to Hyunjin how the other girl had buried so quickly into her heart, becoming the most important person in her life in less than five months.

“Anything.” 

Heejin’s smile widens for a fraction of a second - Hyunjin’s favourite sight - before she turns serious.

“One day, we’ll go on an adventure. Just the two of us.” She takes her head off of Hyunjin’s shoulder and leans back to lie down in the sand. “Promise me that we’d have no responsibilities, that we won’t have to go back home. We’d go home when we want to and no sooner.” With every word Heejin says, Hyunjin’s heart flutters harder and harder in her chest, though she can’t pinpoint exactly why. 

Copying Heejin’s actions, Hyunjin too lies down on the beach. Tomorrow when she has to wake up early to dust the sand off her uniform, she knows she’ll regret her decision but right now nothing matters. At this moment, nothing but lying next to Heejin matters to her.

“That honestly sounds perfect, Heejin.” Just the two of us sounds perfect, Hyunjin wants to say but doesn’t. 

“Where do you think we’d go?” 

Hyunjin pretends to think for a minute, even though she knows her answer. “Hmm,” Hyunjin says lightly, stealing another glance at the girl lying beside her, “I want to go everywhere with you.”

Much to her delight, Heejin reacts in the way she wanted her to. Heejin rolls her eyes and scoffs, pushing Hyunjin’s shoulder. “Too greasy,” she complains, her grimacing face turning into a smile when she hears Hyunjin laughing. Eventually, Heejin breaks into laughter as well.

After their laughter subsides, Hyunjin answers again.

“A road trip, all around the country. You, me, and a ty rented RV. Or we’d go across all of Asia, immersing ourselves in cultures we’ve only read about.”

Heejin’s silent so Hyunjin turns to her side. With Hyunjin’s cheek pressed up against the cool sand, she can see Heejin peering up at the moon, an unreadable expression on her usually smiling face. 

“I’d love that.” Heejin’s words are quiet, more a whisper than anything else. Eventually, she feels Hyunjin’s gaze on her, so she turns on her side as well. “Too bad it’ll probably never happen,” she says.

Hyunjin raises her right hand, the one next to Heejin’s arm. Her pinky is raised to the other girl and Heejin looks at it curiously.

“Pinky promises?” Heejin asks, incredulously. She breaks into a laugh when Hyunjin only nods in response. “What are we, five?”

“Heejin,” she says, a faux-seriousness to her voice. “This is serious.” Hyunjin points to her own face with her free hand. “See this? This is my serious face.” With her words, she moves her pinky even closer to Heejin’s.

After Heejin too raises her arm, her pinky comfortably curls around Hyunjin’s.

“We’ll have that adventure. I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen,” Hyunjin says.

“Whatever it takes, huh?” Heejin smiles a little, squeezing Hyunjin’s pinky a little. Her eyes fall to their interlocked pinkies and the smile becomes bigger.

“I promise.”

I promise, Hyunjin thinks, I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy.

“Have you ever kissed someone?” Hyunjin doesn’t know why she asks her this, but once the words come out of , curiosity starts to bubble in her stomach. 
For some reason, the thought of Heejin kissing someone makes her feel sick to the core. [Or at least the thought of Heejin kissing someone else] 

“No,” comes Heejin’s simple reply. Hyunjin’s ashamed to admit this but the thought of being Heejin’s first kiss excites her in a way she doesn’t understand. “I’ve never met a boy worth kissing.” 

They become silent again, but this time the air is tenser. Hyunjin’s mind is going a mile a minute with her thoughts. “Am I--” Hyunjin stops herself from asking if she’d be worth it, thinking that she may not be able to handle the answer, “would you kiss me?” 

Heejin just laughs lightly. “What are you talking about, Hyunjinie?” 

As soon as Heejin lets out those words, Hyunjin realises that she has two options. 

1. Pretend that it was just a joke and never bring it up again.

It’d be so easy. Heejin already laughed so she probably assumed Hyunjin was kidding. Maybe Hyunjin’s desire to kiss her would go away with time. It wouldn’t be worth risking their blossoming friendship, a friendship that has quickly become one of the most important things in Hyunjin’s life.

But Hyunjin prefers option 2.

2. Kiss her. [Dear God, just kiss her]

She does the latter.

She cups Heejin’s head in her hands and kisses her just like she’s always wanted to. [Has she always wanted to? God, she’s so confused] 

Immediately, it’s a sensory overload - everything her own first kiss wasn’t. It is hot and sweet, fast and slow, it’s everything at once and Hyunjin finds that she’s having trouble breathing because of it.

Heejin’s lips are soft against her own, and Hyunjin tastes the other girl’s chapstick smearing between their lips, its sweet watermelon mixing between them. She feels Heejin’s eyelashes tickle her skin as her eyes fluttered to a close, feels Heejin slowly start to kiss back. She squeezes her eyes shut, trying to focus on feeling every touch, every taste, every little thing that went into this moment.

Heejin’s hands hover just barely above the bone of Hyunjin’s hips, so close that Hyunjin could feel the heat of her palms holding her through her jumper. Hyunjin’s own hands - still cupping Heejin’s face - make their way down to wrap around her waist, bringing them impossibly closer.

Their noses bump against each other as they both try to tilt their heads, causing Heejin to lightly laugh into Hyunjin’s mouth. Her laughter tickles Hyunjin’s skin, causing her to smile as she leans in further.

After too many seconds, Hyunjin pulls away to breathe and as soon as she does a wall of embarrassment hits her. She can’t help but feel as if she had made some insurmountable mistake by kissing her, launching into a tirade almost immediately.

“, Heejin,” Hyunjin exclaims. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking! I’m such a bad friend for taking your fir-” 

To her surprise, Heejin kisses her. She doesn’t grab her like Hyunjin did, simply leaning in slightly to connect their lips again, ignoring Hyunjin’s words.

Instinctively, Hyunjin’s eyes flutter to a close. All the thoughts that began to swirl around her head disappear with Heejin’s faint touch. As soon as their lips brush against each other again, everything changes.

If the first time they kissed was a sensory overload, too much all at once, the second is not enough. It’s deliriously slow this time, their hands and lips and arms barely moving. It’s as if they were pressing against each other just for the hell of it, just because they couldn’t bear to be apart.

When Heejin pulls away, Hyunjin instinctively leans back into her warmth. Please don’t pull away, Hyunjin thought, please, please, please.

Halfway through their third kiss [or fourth, or fifth, honestly Hyunjin had lost track], Hyunjin realises what she’s doing. She’s kissing a girl, her best friend at that. Worst of all, she liked every second of it. 

Hyunjin’s eyes burst open and she pushes the other girl away from her. What is she doing? Why does it feel so natural?

This isn’t allowed, this isn’t right, this is--

As Heejin stumbles backwards, her face contorts in hurt. “Hyu-” 

“No,” Hyunjin blurts out, “don’t talk to me- don’t- just forget about it, okay?”

She runs her hand through her now-messy hair, collecting her equally-messy thoughts. Her breathing is still laboured, only becoming worse with her nerves. 

“Hyunjin, I-” Heejin starts, a pleading tone to her voice. Heejin’s hand raises to touch her but Hyunjin can’t handle it, can’t handle any more of her.

“Please, just- just forget we ever--” She can’t even say it, the word ‘kiss’ is lodged in and she can’t bear to say it, can’t bear to even think of it anymore. “Forget we ever did anything, okay?” 

Heejin’s looking at the ground. Her arms are stuck by her sides, hands in clenched fists. Hyunjin swears she could see her brown eyes glistening but in her flustered, jumbled state of mind, she ignores that her best friend may be shedding tears for her. 

“Please,” Hyunjin repeats, “just forget this.”

“Okay, Hyun,” is her soft, barely-there response.

If Hyunjin had listened harder to her words she might have heard how shaky her voice was, how unsure the words. She might’ve heard Heejin’s voice crack and figured out how much those kisses meant to her. 

Instead of listening, Hyunjin starts to walks home alone in silence. She sheds a few tears herself as she picks up her bag and books, but she doesn’t care enough to wipe them away. As Hyunjin treks home, the road ahead of her becomes hard to see, her glazed-over eyes blurring everything in sight.

She doesn’t look back.