The days that follow ; our heart

It doesn’t mean much when someone says they love you, but when you love them back it means the world to you. You treasure every minute with them, every chance they whisper those three words, every time they hold you and smile , the way their eyes light up like stars in the darkest night when they see you.

So when he takes my hand and places a soft kiss on my fingers while we’re in the car on the way home I know this is what perfection really is.

But i let myself not get carried away with these thought of love and wishfulness. I know my place and his. I know where and who he truly belongs with. That place is no where near me. He will eventually grow tired, and realised that I am not who he thinks I am. Then my time with him will end , and i have to gracefully let him go back to the place that is his.

The cool air of the night wraps itself around my skin as i overlook the city lights. Work had just ended and i was taking a quick breather while Kris finished his day as well. I had promised to wait for him till he was done so we could have supper and head back to my place together.

Smoke from my cigarettes wisps past my eyes as i lift it up for another puff. The deep breathe and the exhale often saved me from panic and anxiety attacks. It reminded me that i needed to breathe.  

Its awhile before a warm body presses itself against me as a coat engulfs my body.

“ Ready to go? “

I smile to myself and nod. Stubbing out the cigarette in the ashtray as I take his hand.

The carpark is empty as we stroll towards his vehicle. We share stories from our day and laugh at the silly parts. This brand comfort is so hard to come by, it was something i had been searching for years ever since Yi Fan left , and i only found it when he returned.

Dinner is simple, Kris warms up the food from yesterday as I pick up Coal from the ground. The puppy yelps excitedly attempting to slobber my face with his kisses.

“ I miss you too Coal, your dad really needs to spend more time with you “ he cuddles closer to me before he finds a comfo