Medicine ; do not overdose

I didn’t think when i showed up here.
Didn’t think about how hard i been keeping the distance between us.
I only thought about how he needed someone after finally facing his demons and coming to visit.

“ Why are you here ? “

Realizing how I comforted him unconsciously i tried to let go but he held my arms in place.

“ Why are you h....”

“They were worried , no one had seen you all morning , I figured you decided to come here alone “

“and? “

“ Just to make sure you were safe. I’ll leave , sorry for intruding “

He sighs and lets go of my hands as we both get up , the crisp grass crunching at our feet.

There’s a weird look on his face, something that’s hard to read.
Usually i could read him pretty well, today i ran a blank.

“ I’m tired. “

“ You should go back and... “

“ No i’m tired of trying to be okay , trying to wait for you to comeback. Trying to figure out what you want. “

This was what Ara meant earlier. This was it.

“ I’m giving you this last chance to tell me what you really think, what you really truly want. If that is not me then i’ll move on completely. But i will not look back , i will not run to your side when you’re hurt and there will be no more second chances “

My eyelids held the tears like a dam, each word breaking the concrete.

“ I can’t even be your friend anymore Eunmi, because it will hurt beyond what you can comprehend “

I didn’t think it would come down to an ultimatum like this.

“You have to give me an answer now.”

My eye looked up to meet his, tears already streaming down. It felt like I had lost my voice.

“Eunmi , you ... “

“I don’t have an answer for you.”

“Then i will decide for you.” He picks his bag up from the grass dusts the dirt of it. Before turning his back on me and walking down the path towards the main building.

My knees hit the grass and my body is shaking uncontrollably. In the most dramatic fashion the sky starts to drizzle tears mixing with the cool drops of rain. The temperature drops and i pull my jacket closer to me but my tears refuse to cease.

This was the end i had worked so hard for. But it hurt so much beyond anything i could have prepared myself for.

When i finally pick myself up, the rain has gotten heavier. Drenched and shivering I flagged a cab back to the hotel. My body was shaking, and hair dripping like i had just taken a dip in the pool. The lobby was crowded with fans, everyone looking at me like i was crazy.

The hotel staff stared at me annoyed when i entered. Everywhere i went a tiny puddle of water would form. I apologized as i tried to find my way to the lift. It was cold and my head was spinning.

I held on to the bars on side of the lift. Trying to keep myself up before i got to the room.

I just had to wait.
I could rest soon.

There seemed to be so much noise. People were talking but I couldn’t make out what anyone was saying. It was as if someone had stuffed ear plugs into my ears and played a loud endless beeping soon.

I groaned and tried to move.

“Ally !” my eyes open slowly trying adjusting to the light. I was in my room. My body was in so much pain it hurt even when i tried to readjust my body.

“Why is everyone in my room ?” When my vision returned I saw Ara, Min Soo Oppa, Chanyeol and ..... Kris ?

“Ally, the doctor says you’re fine , you just had a really bad fever but they gave you some jabs and put you on a drip. You’re probably up cause the fever dropped”

“Fever ? I ... When ?”

“ Someone found you lying in the lift out they thought you’d been murdered or something. “

“ I don’t understand i was going back to .... to my room and ....”

“ You out babe. ”

I sighed. I was always the problem. My eyes look across the room to see Kris sitting alone in the far corner.

“ I’m fee