...What am I even doing...

Dahyun checked her phone for the time. It was 1:30 PM, and the girl mentally face palmed herself for skipping class. This wasn't the first time she skipped, but the last time was long ago. Yes, too long ago...

She checked her phone once again and saw lots of miscalls from Tzuyu, unopened text messages from Chaeyoung, and Jihyo. But it all didn't matter when she saw the most recent one.

(Dad)

-Hey sport, I won't be coming home again today. I have an open meet up, and am invited go have a talk there. The meetup is in Tenryu State, in one of  Evimero's prime islands. I will probably be there for a good 3 days. Sorry Dahyun, I will be back hopefully by then.

Figures...

She then placed her phone back on her pocket after deciding not to reply. It's not that she didn't want to reply—she did—but she didn't have the mental strength to. She carefully threaded her steps (walking where her feet will guide her). The path she used to take has never seemed as empty as this moment. It didn't take long for her to hear a honk of a car's horn. She checked to see where the direction of the horn was at, and saw a silver Chevy Camaro. The driver seat's window went down which revealed a familiar face.

"Wha'cha doing walking around here at this time of the day? Don't you have classes?" the girl asked.

"..."

IU shook her head and parked the car beside the street where the younger girl was walking. She then signaled the girl to enter and take a seat. Dahyun replied by shaking her hand while continuing her walk, as to say that she wasn't entirely interested. The older girl drove at the same pace as the pale girl and insisted for Dahyun to get in.

Dahyun wasn't one to go in other people's car, but for some reason, she felt like all her reasoning flew out of the window—or something—and she decided that it was best to go in. Plus, it's not like a famous artist will do something terrible out of the blue with a person like her right?.

The car ride was rather hectic for Dahyun. The singer/actress was not a bad driver—just a clumsy one—and Dahyun had to help her with a lot of things; remind her to check on the stoplight, her blinkers, and the like. There was even a time when they went on a drive through on Starbucks—let's just say that her mind was more on her belongings than the wheel—and it was mentally taxing for the younger girl.

"Unnie, what's up with you?" Dahyun asked

"Wae? What's wrong Dahyun?"

"What's all this for?"

"All what for?"

"You brought me out on a random road trip... But it feels more like me, being your road secretary... or something?"

"Aww, you're too cute!~"

"Ehh?"

"I guess you could call it that"

Dahyun deadpanned at the statement. She felt like she was talking to a little kid at this point, and so she decided to brush it off. "...Where are we going, unnie?"

"It's a secret"

"... I don't get you unnie"

"Well, you're not the first" She replied with a smile.

"..."

The trip went back to its original silence—comfortable and calming—and all you can hear is the random kpop being played on the radio. It remained silent for a good five minutes, until the older girl complained after hearing Red Velvet's 'Bad boy' being played.

"I hate Red Velvet"

Dahyun looked at the girl with curiosity and asked, "May I ask why?"

"Well, it's more of a running joke with my staff, but it was repeated for far too many times that it got annoying"

"I see..."

"Yup, so now... I despise them"

"Yet you're not changing stations?"

"Nope~ I'm using spotify, not a radio station"

"Why not change songs then?"

"Cause, they're actually a pretty good band"

"...I don't get you..."

"You're not the first~"

"I see..."

The older girl laughed and said, "You're finally opening up even just a little bit"

"Hmmm?"

The older girl shook her head and said, "It's just that, when I saw and heard you play on the cafe's mini stage, I thought that you have finally moved on from your past trauma".

Dahyun stared at the girl driving and asked hesitantly,  "Wh... what do you mean?".

"Well, I was a big fan back then, in fact, everyone in the household was. Also, almost everyone in Okinonawa knew your mother. She was the best pianist during her time. She was rather silent about her social life though, so things didn't escalate that quick"

"I..."

"Here we are!~"

Dahyun checked outside the window, and was surprised at where she was brought to. She was back in front of the school's gate.

"A diligent kid such as yourself should not be loitering out of school at this time around, now would she?"

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be, I myself used to get out of school for a breather every now and then"

"..." Dahyun decided not to speak, but went out of the car out of courtesy. She didn't really want to go back to school—due to obvious circumstances—yet by now, she knew that she had no other choice in the matter. "Ummm... Thank you for the drive I gue-" Dahyun stated, but was soon cut by a ringing phone.

"Hold on to that thought for a minute" IU said after picking up the phone.

"Hello~"

"Yah! IU! Where are you right now? Are you out skipping work again?!"

"..." there was a moment of silence 

"What's up with that long pause?"

"Umm... what long pause?"

"...Why am I even prying if I already know the answer to the question"

"Cause you wub me?"

"You trying to act cute again? Stop it, it's bothersome"

"Yes ma'am!~"

"Ugh, finish quick, you're needed in the office"

"Okay~" IU ended and put down the phone.

Dahyun watched the girl converse and it reminded her of a sitcom—or something.

The young actress then reached out to whatever can of drink she can get from a cooler at the back seat. "Here, catch!" IU shouted as she threw a can of fanta grape towards Dahyun, making her catch it. After the younger girl caught the drink, she gave the girl a heads up saying, "I'm serious about the offer though, do take some time to think about it"

"...I will..."

"Great!~ See you soon Dahyun!~"

"...Okay" Dahyun ended and watched as the car left towards the silhouette.

"Now that I'm back here, I might as well waste time somewhere..." Dahyun thought to herself and left to the rooftop.

 

( * )

 

The rooftop never felt so empty...

Dahyun was leaning on the rails of the rooftop. Something about the atmosphere changed—once a place to calm one's self, became a place of emptiness. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply—to try to relax her mind—but to no avail, it was all for naught. Her soda can was lying empty beside her bag. She looked down at the field where her class is being held. "I should be down there with my classmates..." was all she could think of. She closed her eyes once more, and after a while, she heard the door open.

"DON'T JUMP!" A voice from behind was heard in a form of a shout.

Dahyun looked back and saw light brown orbs looking at hers. The girl in front of her was panting, her body is bent down from exhaustion, and her hands were resting on her knees for support.

"I never planned on jumping... Even of it does sound like a good idea, I can never bring myself to go that far..." Dahyun thought to herself and leaned her back on the railings, her hands gripping on the base of the railing. "Don't worry, I had no intention" she said with a sigh. "What are you doing here?" she added.

"Looking for you, dummy" Sana said, her body position never changed, and she was still catching her breath. Dahyun watched as the girl stood up and fixed herself, and was amazed at how the girl kept her smile on up until now. Heck, she was amazed of the fact that the girl was searching for her for all this time. But she won't say it out loud.

"Well, now you found me... and now you know that I'm fine... You can leave no-"

"NO! I can obviously tell you're not fine!"

"Well, it's none of your busi-"

"I know it's not. But... I want it to be..." Sana said, her face now downcasted.

Dahyun looked at the girl that was pouting, she can't bear to see anyone sad—no matter who they are—and what's worse, is that the girl was sad because of her. The fact that she took the time and effort to do something, She can't seem to find a clear reason to be angry at the girl at all.

"Sorry... I know it's none of my business, but I really want to-"

"Then, can I tell you a secret?"

Sana looked up, her face lightened up from that one question. She nodded her head almost instantly and said, "Of course"

"Then let me tell you a story" Dahyun said, and sat down. Sana followed suit and sat beside the girl. The two girls adjusted their position and made themselves feel comfortable. Once the two were comfortable enough, Dahyun started speaking.

"It was a time back in middle grade... And like what Nayeon-unnie said, it was the day of my grand performance up on stage"

 

*Flashback*

"Omma!~ I'm gonna play in the biggest auditorium in all Evimero!~" Little Dahyun exclaimed. The wide smile on the young girl was beaming. She felt jumpy, her excitement was bursting out of her chest—she was that kind of girl. Nothing can make the day any worst for her.

"At least, that's what she thought"

"Settle down Dahyun, we will get there soon enough" Ms.Kim stated, she watched as her daughter was wiggling and shaking on her seat.

"How many tickets were bought?" Taehyung asked from the back seat. The boy was sitting down while holding his favorite soccer ball.

"I heard it was sold out" Taeyeon stated.

"Sold out?" Dahyun asked.

"Yup, sold out" Taeyeon ended.

"Wow! So that means, thousands and thousands will watch my sister perform on stage? Nice!" Taehyung cheered.

Dahyun suddenly tensed up upon hearing the amount of people. "Th...Th...Thousands?" she asked while stuttering. She suddenly felt the tension and stress on her shoulders.

"Yeah! I can brag about my awesome imoto to my friends more now!~" Taehyung stated.

"Someone's a sis-con" Taeyeon said in a teasing manner.

"No, I am just a handsome brother who's proud of his cute little sister"

"Whatever"

Dahyun felt the pressure even more now. She swallowed the lump that formed on and said, "Umm... I don't feel too good, can I not do it instead?".

"Aww, you can do it Dahyun~ Fighting!~" Taeyeon said.

"Yeah sis, break a leg!~ Not literally though~" Taehyung said with his thumb up.

"B...broken leg?" Dahyun stuttered.

"No Silly!~ Break - a - leg" Taehyung said, and laughed after he finished the statement.

"I don't know how breaking a leg can help me, onii-san"

Ms. Kim giggled and focused on the road while explaining, "It's an expression that means 'good luck' Dahyun".

"Oh I see, then I hope Onii-san trips and falls later!~" The little girl said to her brother.

"Wait, what?" Taehyung was left dumbfounded. But immediately snapped once he saw the soccer field for his game today.

"Thanks for accompanying my son, Taengoo" Ms. Kim said after parking the car by the foot ball field.

"No problem sis, anything for you" Taeyeon said and exited the vehicle.

"Taehyung, don't forget to drink water okay?" Ms. Kim stated.

"Yes mom!~" he replied.

"And, I'm sorry for not going to your game"

"Nah, it's nothing mom" The boy stated and kissed his mother's cheek. "What's important is Dahyun's recital" he ended, and ran to his team after waving goodbye.

"Bye Mom!~ Bye sis!~ Do your best for me okay?" Taehyung said with a wink.

"Bye! Onii-san!~" Dahyun said while waving goodbye.

"Safe driving!" Taeyeon said, before following the boy who ran to his team.

After buckling up, and checking the seats, the mother and daughter went on their way to the Grand State Hall. 

"Okinonawa is about one mountain away from where the soccer field was, so we had to follow the road leading there by the mountain side".

"The mountain that we had to pass, has an area with steep turns. People call it the zigzag road"

"During the drive there, I was still a bit tense from the fact that at least a few thousand people will watch me perform, but I can remember what omma told me back then that changed it"

Dahyun was rather silent the whole trip and Ms. Kim noticed her daughter's sudden change in mood. "Are you still worried about later?" she asked.

"Yeah... What if I make a mistake... and... and they will all laugh?..." Dahyun muttered softly.

"You won't make a mistake, you've been practicing for this for years now! You got this in the bag" Ms. Kim assured her daughter.

"But, there will be thousands of eyes on me..."

"Well, you could always imagine them all in their underwear or something"

"Ew!" Dahyun said, her worrisome expression quickly became joyous.

"You worry too much dear, nothing of that caliber will happen, I promise you that. Infact, I won't allow that!" Ms. Kim stated while cracking her fingers. "Plus, if they do... well, let's just say that they would have to think twice before doing it again" she ended.

"Wae? What will you do?"

"I will back hand slap them all!"

"All? as in everyone?"

"Yup, Every last one. Including the owner of the Grand State Hall"

"Hahahaha! Omma! Don't do that! Hitting people is bad~"

"Oh, yeah. I totally forgot about that. My bad~"

"Hahahaha!~"

"But seriously, you would do great"

"How can you tell?"

"Well first, you were the one who told me that you really wanted to do it to make me and your grandpa proud. Second, you love piano very much that you even named the piano your appa bought you..".

The second statement made Dahyun giggle.

"And lastly, cause I'm your mother. And even if the whole world says that you can't. I will be the one to tell you that you can".

Dahyun looked at her mother and smiled wholeheartedly.

"That is how I can tell. Plus, if you really do get fully nervous. Just remember that I will always be there watching. I will be sitting at the front row, praying for a successful event like always. Just play as if I am the only one listening, if you really are that nervous. But I know, that music is in your heart. And once you sit on that seat, and placed your fingers on those keys. You will know what to do"

Dahyun suddenly felt better, her face sais it all. "Thank's omma" she said softly.

"You're welcome"

The young girl chuckled a bit and said, "Omma, Saranghaeyo"

Ms. Kim paused for a while and looked at her daughter. She was definitely surprised, but at the same time, not really. It was her daughter after all. "Saranghaeyo, Dahyun".

"Wow I like your mother already Dahyun-ah" Sana said.

"Everyone did" Dahyun replied with a smile, and continued.

"Anyways, we arrived the zigzag portion of the mountain, when suddenly..."

"Okay, we're at the zigzag. I guess I will lower my speed down to 40" Ms. Kim stated.

"Wow, the turn is so steep here" Dahyun stated, she looked and appreciated the view on the left.

"Yes, so we better be carefu- AHHH!" The mother screamed as she saw a top speed gt350 rushing towards them. She pressed on the break and moved left to avoid the car, but to no avail. The speeding car couldn't control itself and collided with their vehicle.

"By rule of inertia, the slower car will be the one to stop the force of the speeding car. I remember after getting hit, the airbag expanded, but later deflated due to the car falling off the cliff. The last thing I remember is hitting my head by the door and everything was black after"

"I woke up a few days later on a hospital bed, I remember feeling very bad pain by my arm and leg. I was too weak to move my whole body as well. Once I opened my eyes, I saw my brother holding my hand, squeezing it tightly"

"Onii...san?" Little Dahyun weakly voiced out.

"Da...Dahyun?" The boy looked up and smiled as soon as she saw her sister finally awake.

"Onii-"

"Da...Dahyun!" the boy screamed while hugging the girl lying down on the hospital bed, sobbing. "You're finally awake! You... you're finally awake" he said, sobbing within every phrase. "I thought you will never wake up anymore" he ended.

"onii-san... I can't breathe..." Dahyun lightly said while grunting in between.

A little while later, Taeyeon entered the room and rushed towards Dahyun the moment she saw that she was finally awake. "DAHYUN! wait, let me call the nurse."

The girl smiled and watched as the two frolic about in the hospital. Moments have passed and everything was settled down properly. Dahyun was now sitting down and chatting with Taehyung and Taeyeon on her room.

"I'm glad to see you're safe Dahyun" Taeyeon said, her face looked like a mess from crying too much.

"Yes, In fact, I feel like I'm strong enough to stand" Dahyun assured her aunt

"Well, don't force yourself too much" Taeyeon said

"I won't" Dahyun replied, then asked, "Oh where's appa?"

"..." There was a rather tensed up atmosphere in the hospital room and silence filled the area. It was when no one answered, that she suddenly remembered why she was in the hospital on the first place. "Actually, where's omma?" she asked, then suddenly rushed out when everyone looked like they were hurting once more.

"WAIT! DAHYUN!" Taeyeon exclaimed trying to stop Dahyun from rushing out of the hospital room, but she failed. 

"OMMA! OMMA!" Dahyun ran towards the Emergency room. Upon entering, she slowed down and caught her breath. She walked searching door to door checking for her mother's name on each room. She then saw her father sitting down outside a room and approached him. With her adrenaline finally settled down, her steps became weak as she got tired from the running. Her eyes watery from crying.

"Ap...pa..." Dahyun muttered while sniffling in between.

"Da...hyun?" Mr. Kim said, and slowly lifted his daughter to his knees. "What are you doing here out of bed?"

The little girl wiped her tears away and slowly asked, "What happened to omma?".

"..."

"appa?"

"Omma is in the room Dahyun... She's... sleeping" Mr. Kim stated, his voice got course in every word.

"Sleeping? So she will wake up right?"

"..."

"Omma will wake up right?"

"..."

"I would get to see her every morning again, right?"

"..."

"She will be cooking my favorite dishes again, right?"

"..."

"She will be tucking me to bed and kiss me to sleep after singing me songs at night, right?"

"..."

"APPA! OMMA IS JUST SLEEPING, RIGHT?!" Dahyun shouted this time. Everyone waiting outside—including everyone in the medical profession and the guests of hospital patients—was watching the girl cry out.

"I... don't know if she will..."

Dahyun was silent, it took her a while for everything to sink in—it was probably cause she was still a child that she can't seem to take in everything easily. Her tears suddenly forced itself to come out.

Her tired body suddenly ached all over and she started to hyperventilate. The pain of both physical and emotional trauma finally started to build up, and all she could do is hug herself tightly while fighting her urge to cry. She had to be strong—she wanted to be strong—for everyone's sake, but in the end, she was still just a kid.

It didn't take long for Dahyun to grip on to her father's coat and bawl out on his shoulder. Mr Kim was stunned, he felt weak seeing his daughter in this state. He then instinctively hugged his daughter and both of them cried.

"It didn't take long for me to get out of the hospital bed, but my mother's case was different..."

"Why so?"

"She never got up"

 

( * )

 

[tbc]

-------

 

Hey guys, sorry for the long update! I was busy with life. I hope this long chapter made up for my times away—for those who are waiting for an update (If there is any haha :P).

Anyways, This is part one of the flash back. I really wantd to emphasize on Dahyun's emotions here in this part of the flash back. The second part will be a bit more... let's just say that the next one will be the deciding factor why she became the way she was.

Once again, thank you for reading!~ I hope to see you in my next update!~