I wish no more, its time to accept the time rather than to wish for more and get cheated.

Taeyeon POV

Its calm. I can feel my surroundings calm, and calmer and nothing else. I can hear slight faint sounds of some beep that I’m not able to recognise as what. I felt weak and I can’t even move my finger. Something is not suiting well and I don’t want to react to any at all. I’m feeling a sense of sadness as I felt my heart crush itself. I know there is something that is happening without my notice and its very bad. I wanted to get up and run to the time I closed my eyes, but I’m still thinking to where I stopped and closed my mind giving it a complete rest to myself. My memories all started going back and forth. I remember.

The time I had with Yoona and tiffany. The joy and sadness we shared together.

The time when Yoona introduced me to Jiyong and Seunghyun. We were all trainees.

The time when Jiyong and Seunghyun debuted with 3 more members as a group called big bang under YG entertainment.

The time when me, Yoona and Tiffany were restricted to meet outsiders and we just stayed together so we can debut too. We shed sweat and tears to reach our goal.

The time when we debuted finally along with 6 more members under SM entertainment.

The time when we created history with our songs and became famous with our every step.

The time when Tiffany revealed that she likes Jiyong.

The time when I heard that Yoona revealed to Jiyong that she had a crush on him.

The time when I wanted Tiffany with Jiyong, so I created an imaginary relationship for Yoona with Seunghyun and .

The time when I decided to get close with Jiyong so I can make him close with Tiffany as she was shy.

The time when I realised that I had feelings for Jiyong.

The time when Jiyong actually proposed me instead of Tiffany.

The time when Tiffany shed tears as I betrayed her accepting Jiyong.

The time when Tiffany said okay with mine and Jiyong’s relationship.

The time when I received a promise ring from Jiyong which resulted as the best day of my life.

The time when we kissed each other with all our emotions put together.

The time when we held hands and faced the world.

The time when we were our each other’s strength and weakness.

The time when I wanted to have a solo career but SM kept saying a straight NO.

The time when I got call from an American recording label that they wanted me to sign.

The time when SM restricted me from signing any companies so they can have me under them.

The time when I decided to sign under the American label.

The time when I decided to break my relationship with Jiyong.

The time when I made Yoona and Seunghyun both get drunk and lead them to a one night stand as I thought it’s better tiffany have Jiyong than Yoona.

The time when I made an overnight statement through social media that SM is having me under a slave contract.

The time when I revealed to the world that Jiyong is a drug addict and hence i don’t want to hurt myself.

The time when I read articles on Yoona and Jiyong with all hate comments.

The time when both big bang and Girls’ Generation received backlash but still they went strong. Thanks for their dedicated fans.

The time when I made up things in front of media so I can be on a safer side.

The time when I finally flew the very next day to America.

The time when I received plenty of calls from all four.

The time when I released my first English album.

The time when I first won an international award.

The time when I had my concerts in Korea.

The time when my fans always stood by my side thinking I got cheated by my members and Jiyong.

The time when Girl’s Generation was going well but Jessica decided to drop from the group.

The time when I was diagnosed with mutiple illnesses.

The time when I read articles on Jiyong and Tiffany in a relationship.

The time when I had to act out in front of people as if I’m fine when I’m actually not.

The time when I read about the marriage of our group members.

The time when I was too happy for sunny when she had her first child becoming the first parent from Girl’s Generation.

The time when I received an invitation from Yoona, of Jiyong’s and Tiffany’s wedding.

The time when I landed in Korea back after 12 years.

The time when I met all the members and all accepted me with a happy face.

The time when everyone forgave me.

The time when I first met Jiyong and Yoona, the two people I ditched the most.

 The time when I met Tiffany and she looked so beautiful.

The time when I met Jiyong and released all his feelings he had on me.

The time when Jiyong asked for my ring.

The time when I throwed the promise ring I got from Jiyong along with his.

The time when I entered the filed ceremony hall with an empty heart.

The time when I fainted and had blood splattered all on me.

Blood? I tried to collect my memories as if there was any firing that took place and had blood all on me or if someone throwed up.

Yes. Yes. I remember I stood next to Yoona when I entered the hall and I held to Yoona. She was weak and her hands were cold. But did she? Oh no !!! Did she throw up blood. Oh no.

“YOOONGGG” I shouted as loud as possible. I started hearing voices. But my eyes were trying open at the least. I wriggled a bit as I felt some female held my hands. Seohyun. I felt her touch and the voice. Are my members here? where am I? why am I lying here. I remembered as I suddenly felt the sight of Yoona lying lifeless. And there goes my body on a full alert as I release my eyelashes and open my eyes giving it full access to see where am I.

All I noticed was a white ceiling. I turned to my side with Seohyun and Yuri calming me down with tears. They were completely drenched in tears as I can see their red puffy eyes.

“What you people are doing here? And, where is she?” To my question Sunny who stood behind the two doctors who were checking on me slowly came front and rubbed my back. That’s when I realised myself laying in hospital bed. I tried to getup as a female nurse held my hand and said me to calm me down. She was the one who treated me while my stay in Korea. I came back to reality.

Hyoyeon came next to Sunny as the doctors went back saying things to Sunny. I just wanted to die now and no more. I had all the bad luck stuck on me during the wedding and probably I think there are articles with my name on top as I fainted in front of many people. There might be articles all on internet floating about me and my illness. But something is missing. I scanned the room as to which Jessica, tiffany and Yoona were missing.

Yoona!! Wait. Yoona and blood. I shivered at the memories that I still tried to recover from. I held Hyoyeon’s hand. 

“Yah. Where is Yoona? And what was the blood. I remember blood on me before I fainted. What’s happening?” I asked as she started crying out loudly. I was confused.  I kept looking at the other girls as Jiyong entered the room. I slowly looked up to him. Wasn’t today his wedding. Is he crying because I fainted.

“Ji. What happened? Where is Tiff? And where is Yoona? She must be here. Call her. At least Seunghyun. He promised me that he’ll stay by my side the whole day” I said in a confused state as tears streamed down his cheeks. He came and sat next to me on the bed and hugged me. I felt his tears stain my body as I was still in my hospital gown.

“Ji. Is something wrong with Yoona?” I realised a series of thoughts all of a sudden from blood to people crying around me. It’s either I’m diagnosed with a serious disease or something is wrong with Yoona or Seunghyun. Probably Yoona. For few days she kept telling I need to be careful as she won’t be always next to me. Seunghyun kept telling me how he had no chance with Yoona. Jiyong kept telling me not to bother and lean much on Yoona as I would stay up hurt. And Tiff meant the same as Jiyong. And before I closed my eyes in the ceremony I felt blood on me and more than that people did scream Yoona’s name too. I felt her hand cold and hard. Reality kept hitting me so hard.

“Please take me to Yoona.” I begged as Jiyong kept mum and the cries of Seohyun increased as she dashed out of the room.

I looked at the hanging clock which showed it’s 6 and its evening by the darkness I can see through the window. I analysed the situation as its been more than 7 hours I’m on bed. And this is nothing new, only the people around me had my situation as a shock. For me its usual, after fainting I get hospitalised and again after hours I’ll be back okay. I shook my thoughts and as I removed the IV carefully I had in my hand and pulled some tissues from the box nearby and held against my hand. I dashed out as Yuri called my name with hoarse voice. I walked a bit fast as I reached the floor receptionist and asked her for Yoona. She looked at me shock.

“Taeyeon-shi you need to head back. Though these are VVIP wards you can’t be seen here like this.” The female looked at me and tried to hold my shoulders as I shrugged. I glared at her as I continued.

“To hell with excuses, I asked where is Yoona?” The female didn’t bulge as she tried to rub my back.

“I can understand your feelings Taeyeon-shi. The process is going on. And I don’t think you can take a look of her. I’ll call once the process is over.” I was completely confused as what type of process is Yoona undergoing.

I heard few steps as I turned to them and saw two doctors and Seunghyun dragging his feet behind them. He passe