Moon Byulyi is tired.

(From running out of her apartment building or from all of the mess between her and Yongsun she doesn’t know. All she knows is that she’s tired, she’s tired, she’s goddamn tired.)

She finds herself in the same park she and Yongsun used to frequent.

(Byulyi scoffs. There seems to be a lot of used to in her life and she doesn’t know what to make of it.)

She plops down on a rusty swing and tries to trust the creaking older-than-time chains that strain to hold her weight up.

Sighing deeply and letting her eyes roll up to watch the night sky, her legs pump beneath her and she is into the biting cold air, her hair fluttering in waves behind her.

The night is beautiful, but the beauty is lost on her. 
She is snapped out of her trance after the first teardrop kisses her cheek.

‘Goddamn.’ Byulyi curses, halting her swing. She plants her feet on the ground firmly and rests her elbows on her knees, burying her face onto her palms. ‘God ing damn.’ She sobs.

What does Yongsun see in Eric, no, Yoondo, that she doesn’t have? Is it because Byulyi's too greasy? She’ll stop. Is it because Byulyi's too annoying? She won’t bother her anymore. Is it because-

Because she’s Byulyi? Because she’s always not good enough?

‘Ah.’ Byulyi lets out a shuddering exhale, ‘Of course. Of course. Of course!’ she growls into her palms, and her tears flow steadily.

‘Why do I have to be so ing imperfect?’ Byulyi removes her face from her cupped palms and asks the heavens, whose only response was the continuous twinkling of the stars. ‘Why do I have to be me? Why can’t I be stupidly perfect like whatshisface?’

(Eric Nam. Nam Yoondo. Don’t say whatshisname, Byulyi. You know you remember his name because it’s the only ing thing leaving Yongsun's lips nowadays.)

‘I’m sick and tired of this.’ Byulyi complains but no one hears her. No one. Of course. Byulyi should be used to it. No one gets her. No one understands. They can try to sympathize all they want but in the end, Byulyi is still the one who is going through it and there is nothing they can do to ever make Byulyi believe in them because-

Because in the end, they are happy and Byulyi is not and she doesn’t understand what she has done to deserve unhappiness so bad.

‘. it all.’ Byulyi swears and kicks herself off the swing, her forearm rubbing against her eyes to dry the tears. She ambles her way out of the park, feet sore and stride languid. She sees an open convenience store and pushes the double doors open. Her eyes lock on the fridge and she reaches out to take a bottle of soju or two but-

But suddenly there is a hand on her wrist and it feels warm to the touch. She traces the hand on hers with her eyes to the owner and to her surprise she sees none other than Ahn Heeyeon, who flashes her a glare. Byulyi levels her with her own heated stare and tries to shake off the firm grip of her friend but Heeyeon is stronger. She all but tightens her hold on Byulyi.

‘Off, Heeyeon. Take your damn