jū.

don't be sad, he'd want you to smile like how you made him on those last painful seconds

________________

He could barely talk anymore. The mask that let oxygen flow through the younger's failing lungs blocked his access of talking to his lover. 

Baekhyun was quiet by his side, watching closely at Chanyeol's chest as it fell up and down.

He missed all of the happy memories they spent together. The kisses they shared under the pine tree in the garden, under the bright sun.

Those were the days Baekhyun missed the most. Now, all that was left was a empty garden full of dead flowers that are being beaten by the rain and cloudy sky.

Baekhyun felt his hot tears escape from his eyes again.

Like every day. 

It was night now, Chanyeol had his eyes open and his gaze was on the blank wall in front of him.

"I don't want t-to d-die." Staying as strong as he could Baekhyun held his hand tightly.

His voice broke.

"Y-you'll be okay. You're g-oing to m-make it." 

They both knew it was a lie. How so bad both wanted to believe in that lie though, to let it bring comfort in their rocky waters.

Chanyeol looked over at Baekhyun before kissing his hand with shaking fingers. 

"Please...d-don't cry Baek-" 

Baekhyun in a breath he didn't know he was holding. It was amazing how much his heart hurt due to these past months and his lover laying in a bed almost lifeless.

"I'm n-not..." wet, warm and sticky tears fell from his tear ducts.

Wheezing soon took over Baekhyun's ears as Chanyeol gripped the mask with his long, numb, pale fingers with his life.

Baekhyun sobbed loudly before tuning in on the heart monitor. It was still beating which made Baekhyun relax in the tiniest bit.

What he had to wait for was when it stopped beating.

When Chanyeol had finally pushed Baekhyun out of the room with a heavy heart to use the bathroom, Baekhyun washed his face in the sink.

The water that splashed on his face was cold and unenviable. Wiping his face on a paper towel he left the restroom to have his heart drop out of his chest and crush on the floor.

There laid Park Chanyeol, his patient since a year ago, his lover and best friend, unmoving and silent on the bed as nurses surrounded his body.

It was too late, all of the promises and wishes came coursing through the elders body like a tsunami. Chanyeol would never see daylight again. He'd never grow old and get grey hair. 

Chanyeol would never get to visit Fiji, never eat food again in his life. He would never marry or become a father. 

Baekhyun's world came crushing down before he could take a step, before he heard the doctor say,

"Date and time is September 3rd at 12:08 am, room 311, after six years patient Park Chanyeol has died of Bone cancer."

Baekhyun's legs fell beneath him and his hands grabbled at the floor. His loud cries filled the hall. Nurses came to his side to help him throughout the heart break but all Baekhyun could hear was Minseok's words,

"But i'll never forget how i wasn't there, by his side when he died."