“What’s it say?”

Minho rubbed his sleepy eyes again, squinting at the letter that just arrived from home. Mom must have been in a hurry when she was writing it -- her handwriting was horrible. He glanced over at Gilbert before he went back to reading. “Looks like I’m heading back to Korea over the summer.”

“Oh? That’s exciting!”

He nodded as he moved on to the next line. Aunt Boyoung, Dad’s sister, was getting remarried and invited them to come to the wedding. It would be nice to see everyone again. Already, he was sure, Mom was contacting her friends and Minseok’s and his to make sure that they knew they would be there. Probably had their itinerary all planned out. And laminated. And hanging up on the fridge. 

Minho smiled at the thought as he folded the letter and stuffed it in his robe pocket. He grabbed the bowl of dirigible plum jam and a couple of pieces of buttered toast. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone running toward their side of the Great Hall, his gaze drifting up to see that it was Aaron. His brow furrowed as Aaron drew near and he glanced down at the hand he rested on his shoulder. 

“Something’s wrong with Kibum,” he said all at once as he tried to catch his breath. 

The knife full of jam clattered against his plate and he hurried as Aaron led the way back to Slytherin’s table. A spot was already cleared on the bench beside Kibum, whose back was turned to the rest of the Great Hall. Minho slowed as he approached, deciding instead to drop to his knee in the patch of morning sunlight rather than crowd Kibum on the bench. 

His face was bright red, more than likely embarrassed by everyone watching him, and his chin quivered as he struggled to hold back the tears welling up in his eyes. He didn’t meet Minho’s eyes as he knelt before him. Minho covered his hands that were holding a piece of crumpled up parchment between them with his own. 

Minho looked over Kibum’s head, the concerned Slytherins immediately going back to their breakfast when he made eye contact with them. “Do you want to go somewhere else?” A tear slipped down his cheek as he shook his head. “Do you want to wait to tell me?” A sigh, then a nod. Minho squeezed his hand around Kibum’s and scooted a tad closer on the floor. 

He stayed like that until the bell rang for class, and then he moved up to sit beside Kibum on the bench as the others started to leave. It wasn’t until the Great Hall cleared after the second bell rang that Minho loosened his grip on Kibum’s hands.

“I think I’m going to be sick.” 

Minho grabbed the mostly empty pitcher of pumpkin juice and held it in front of Kibum. Just in time, too. He gulped, rubbing Kibum’s back in slow circles as he retched into the pitcher. Minho set it to the side, but not out of reach, when Kibum sounded like he was done. Silence filled the Great Hall, amplifying the sound of Kibum’s sniffling.

“What happened, Bummie?” 

He held out the crumpled letter and Minho took it, smoothing it over his knee before he started to read. 

My darling Kibum,

I am truly sorry that you had to find this out at school. We wanted to wait until you were home for the summer, but we just got back from the doctor, and the results aren’t good. 

Grandma has cancer. Lung cancer. She has, at the most, six months left with us. 

If you would like to, I could write to Headmistress McGonagall and ask for you to be taken out of school from now until the end of term, so you can spend as much time with her as possible. If not, I understand that, too. Whatever you’re the most comfortable with, sweetheart, is what she wants for you. 

I’m sorry, I can’t write more right now. She needs me. Please write back to us soon to let me know.

Love, Mom

Minho lowered the letter to his lap, his eyes pricked with tears. “I’m s -- “

“Don’t say it,” he whispered. “Don’t you ing say it.” 

Nodding, Minho gulped and folded the letter. He stuffed it in his pocket, right next to the letter from his mom. “What can I do to help you?” He looked over at Kibum when he didn’t answer right away to find him struggling not to cry again. Private...they should go somewhere private. Everyone should be in class by now, but the question was, up or down? The study closet or one of their common rooms? He let his instincts guide him as he helped Kibum off the bench and held him close with a hand around his waist. 

Down.

Down the stairs they went, and when Kibum leaned toward the shadows of the Slytherin side, Minho followed. It took him several tries to get the password right and the common room was blessedly empty when they walked inside. Once the wall closed up behind him, he set Kibum down on one of the couches by the fire and went over to stoke it. The flames were dancing again by the time he returned to Kibum’s side. 

More than anything, Minho want to reach out and hold Kibum until he felt better. Until he cried all the tears he was holding back. Until all the tension and stress was gone from his limbs. He wanted to help, but…

Kibum just sat there, his face an emotionless mask as he stared at the rings on the table left from years and years of neglected teacups. He didn’t look at Minho, he didn’t react to his hand on his arm. Nothing. He just sat still. Staring, unblinking. “You should go to class.”

“What?”

“You heard me.” 

Minho’s heart ached at the biting tone. He didn’t mean it; he was just in shock. “I’m not going to leave you.” 

His gaze drifted from the coffee table to Minho’s hand on his arm. “Everyone else does. You will too, someday. I might as well get used to it now, huh?” He let out a hollow laugh, and Minho blinked as a tear fell down his cheek. 

“Kibum…”

“What?” he chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re gonna promise not to leave me? Everyone ing dies, Minho. Everyone. Don’t lie to me. Don’t pity me…” his voice cracked and Minho’s hold on his arm tightened. “Don’t…” His hands trembled as he held them together in his lap. 

The bell rang, startling them both. Minho wiped his eyes with his free hand and looked over at the wall where the entrance was. Kibum shouldn’t go to class today, which, luckily it was a Friday, which meant he had all weekend to recover as much as possible. But, there was still the matter of his, well, their classes for today. 

“Will you be okay for a little while?” Kibum made no reaction, except to tense up a little more. “I won’t be gone long, just, like, fifteen minutes at the most. I need to explain to O’Neely why we won’t be in class.” Still, nothing. “I’m really sorry, Bummie. I don’t want to leave you but I don’t think you want to come with.” 

He shook his head slowly. “Fifteen minutes?” 

Minho almost lost the will to leave the room, just at the sound of his voice. “That’s all, I promise.” Reluctantly, he let go of Kibum’s arm and stood. Kibum didn’t turn to watch him go; he didn’t move at all. Minho didn’t look away until the last brick settled into place, blocking Kibum from his view. 

And then he ran.

* * * * * * * * * *

It wasn’t fair.

None of it.

As soon as the last brick fell into place, Kibum covered his face with his shaking hands, sobs wracking his body. He could hear it...how pitiful and stupid he sounded. Crying over the inevitable was ridiculous and he should know better by now. 

He had fifteen minutes to get it all out.

Kibum wiped the dribbling snot on the sleeve of his robe -- tomorrow was laundry day, anyway, so it didn’t matter. He shivered, despite the warmth from the fire, and rubbed his hands over his arms as tears sprung to his eyes again. 

He should have known, really. Mrs. Prue worked for one of the apothecaries, as a healer. She had probably been working with Grandma for months now. However long they had known. The trip to London during Christmas was probably to visit her doctor. Also, why would Mom take that much time off of work? 

Why was he so ing stupid?

His eyes squeezed shut when he heard commotion outside, and he wiped his eyes before he bolted away from the common room and into the hall between the dorms. No, he shouldn’t go to his room, he might get discovered there. Voices grew louder with the clinking of the bricks, and Kibum rushed down the hall to the Lacuspectio, ducking inside the darkened room. 

The chilly air washed over him, nearly stopping him in his tracks. He staggered further into the room, careful to mind the boulders and natural dips in the rock bed. A curious mermaid stopped to watch him sit down and it swam away when he glared at it. 

Should he stay at Hogwarts or should he go home? Finals were looming, only weeks away now, He probably should stay to prepare for those, but… What if the diagnosis was too generous and she died while he was here? 

Kibum swallowed past the lump in his throat as he started to cry again. He buried his face in his hands and tried to catch his breath. It was too much. Why tell him now? Why not wait? How long...how long had they been keeping the truth from him? His muffled sobs filled the Lacuspectio, echoing around him. He covered his ears, trying to block out the sound of it. 

There had to be a reason why this was happening again. Maybe his family was cursed. Maybe he was cursed. Maybe he’d lose Mom in a couple of years to cancer as well, and then Minho a few years after that. And then, he’d be alone, as the universe obviously intended.

, he might be sick again…

Kibum flinched when a hand rested on his shoulder -- he hadn’t noticed anyone coming inside the room. He wiped his face as clean as he could as he looked up. Minho...he was back. Kibum could feel it, the ugly scrunching of his face as he tried to keep from crying now. But, once he had started, it was hard to stop. 

Wordlessly, Minho pulled him into a tight hug. Kibum fisted his hands in Minho’s sweater vest as he buried his face in Minho’s shoulder, unable to hold back his tears any longer. They rocked slowly back and forth, Minho’s hands rubbing Kibum’s back as he quietly hummed a tune that Kibum didn’t recognize. 

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like this, but it was long enough for Kibum’s tears to run out. Minho’s hold never wavered, not even when it was clear that he wasn’t crying anymore. Kibum loosed his fists from Minho’s sweater and wrapped his arms around his waist with a long sigh. 

“Why does this keep happening to me?” he mumbled into Minho’s shoulder. 

Minho stopped rubbing his back for a second. “It’s not your fault, Bummie.” He opened his stinging eyes, only to close them immediately. “Whatever you need today, I’ll make sure it happens, okay? If you need a nap, I’ll make sure you’re not disturbed. If you need some fresh air, we’ll go walk down outside for as long as you want. If you need food, I’ll bring you some.” He rested his head on Kibum’s. 

He could hear it then, the tremble in Minho’s voice. He must have been trying very hard not to cry, too. Kibum slowly drew his arms back, letting go of Minho. “A nap sounds good,” he said as he sat away from him, Minho’s hands dropping from Kibum's sides to his own thighs. A nap would help them both reset, he decided. Hopefully, he would be thinking clearer after he woke up. 

“Lead the way.”

* * * * * * * * * *

The common room was quiet as they walked down the hall, making their way to Kibum’s dorm room. Kibum shucked his robe as he opened the third year dorm room and tossed it at the foot of his bed before he toed off his shoes. He kicked them off his feet, one of them ricocheting off his trunk and bouncing to the other side of the room. Minho slipped out of his shoes and set them by the door, his eyes flicking to Kibum as he flopped down on his bed. He rubbed his eyes with a sigh before he covered them with the crook of his elbow. 

Minho took a deep breath as he took off his own robe and started to fold it, setting it on the top of Kibum’s trunk. Kibum lifted his elbow, glancing down at Minho who was still standing at the foot of his bed and scooted to the side. 

It was a tight fit, with both of them on the bed. Kibum rolled over on his side, making more room for him, while Minho arranged the curtains around the bunk, blocking out the dim light of the room. The glow-in-the-dark stars pinned between Kibum’s favorite pictures were the only light for them now. Minho settled down on the edge of the bed, giving Kibum as much room as possible. 

“I didn’t know you had this many.”

“Hmm?”

“Stars.” He only remembered giving Kibum the one, but there were...seven here now, in varying sizes.

“I found them in the closet one day.” Kibum sniffed, and Minho looked over at the back of his head. “You brought them up to study for astronomy or something. You can take them back if you want.”

“It’s okay. I can give you more if you like.” 

A long pause, then his voice cracked as he whispered, “O...kay.” Minho reached out, rubbing Kibum’s back again. “It’s worse this time, I think.”

Minho stopped rubbing for a second before he switched from back and forth to slow circles. “How so?” 

“I know what to expect. With...Dad...I just didn’t know. That it was possible. Death, I mean.” He sniffed again, followed by a long sigh. “I sorta wish they had told me when they first found out.”

“About Grandma’s cancer?”

“Mm.” He rolled over onto his back, and Minho’s outstretched hand settled in the space between them. “Maybe then I’d be a little more prepared.”

No one is ever prepared for the death of a loved one, but it definitely wasn’t the right time to voice that thought. Minho rolled onto his side, facing Kibum, and adjusted his head on the edge of the pillow. “I wish...I could do more.” 

“For me?” Minho nodded against the pillow and Kibum let out a watery chuckle. “Hey, don’t worry. You’re already doing more than enough, just by being here.” In the dim light, he met Minho's eyes with a sigh. “I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier. You didn’t deserve that.” 

“Bummie…”

“No, don’t try to defend me. I knew you were trying to help, and I just -- “ his voice broke again and Minho took his hand. “I don’t know why I’m crying again,” he said, covering his eyes with his free hand. 

Minho rubbed little circles into the back of Kibum’s hand with his thumb. “It’s okay to cry and be sad. Especially on days like today.” Beside him, Kibum gulped as he turned to face him. He released Kibum’s hand and reached up to wipe away some of his tears as they fell. 

“I hate crying.”

“I know.” His hair tickled Minho’s arm as he rested his head back down on the bed. “I’m here for you, okay?” Kibum sighed, nodding his head. “Even when we can’t be together in person, I’ll be with you in spirit.” He took Kibum’s hand in his, thankful to the darkness for hiding his blush, and held it against his heart. “You’re always with me, even when you’re not. And...and if you feel like you’re all alone, just remember that you’re not…” 

Kibum’s fingers splayed across his chest for a second before his hand dropped onto the bed. As the minutes stretched on, his breathing grew increasingly steady -- he must have been exhausted. Minho was sure that he was asleep until Kibum whispered, “You’re in my heart, too.” 

He found Kibum’s hand, holding it lightly as he closed his eyes. He wouldn’t sleep, he didn’t think, but he didn’t want to move and disturb whatever rest Kibum would get. So, he made himself comfortable, smiling to himself when Kibum let out a snore.