Here's another letter. It's going to be short since it's pretty late here, but I don't mind.

I don't think I'll ever get tired from typing these.

I'm coping better now, well that's what I'd like to think.

Jjong-d, there are lesser posts about you now. That, I don't know if that makes me feel happy or sad. Happy because I don't have to be reminded of this tragedy, sad because I won't get to see more of your posts now.

It's now 2 AM here, meaning that it's 3 AM in Seoul. Just one hour ago I started sobbing again. I can't stop listening to Lee Hi's Breath which you've written. The lyrics.. it was like a punch in the face when I read them. The only thing that was going through my mind at that time was ", , . He's been feeling like this the whole ing time."

I've said this before, but I'm still in remorse. I'm angry. 

Angry at how you made things so damn obvious but we couldn't catch onto your signs.

Angry at how we thought you were okay, at how we thought you're really just a bubbly angel in the inside.

I've watched and saved tons of videos about you off YouTube, Instagram, Facebook. All of them. It hurts to see you smile. I'd honestly rather you show your frowns. Why did you have to hide your pain like this?

Jinki is so strong, Jjong. I'm sure you know about everything. Please, comfort the four of them. I know they need your comfort more than all of us combined.

I'm listening to the playbacks from WORLD IV. I feel better listening to Excuse Me Miss, man these four grown men have done you dirty, haven't they? I was previously listening to Replay, and even though I'm not watching the video and by just listening, I could still picture you crying towards the end. 

Heart wrenching.

I cry a little less now, but I know soon, one day from now, everything will hit me again all at once. And by then, I know, I just know that.. it's going to hurt more than it does now.

I have yet to tune back into your recorded radio sessions, but I'd have to mentally prepare myself before I do that. I still remember on the last day of your radio DJ session, you were crying for 20 minutes straight. You're not alone, y'know? I actually cried along with you for those entire 20 minutes.

Nope, not kidding.

But hey, at least we both acknowledge this, right?

You as a whole, have become my inspiration. A huge part of my future minset, that is. I'm not sure what I'll do in the future, but it'll have something that connects with what you've left for us.

I hope the episode of Goblin Night with you in it will be released, and your comeback will be published as well. I don't want your last effort to go to waste. I'm sure you completed your comeback for a reason too right?

Before I log off this chapter, I'm dedicating your song to you, because you deserve your own masterpiece.

KIM JONGHYUN - END OF A DAY

"수고했어요, 정말 고생했어요." - Kim Jong Hyun

Sleep tight, Jonghyun. I'll be back soon.

From the one with most regrets,

재이.