Kyung,

My chest feels tight.

There were a lot of things that compelled me to write this.

It feels like thorns pricking the back of my head, willing me to stop walking; to stop thinking about all these flashing lights surrounding me and all the questions thrown my way as if I'm hearing everything all at once. But all that seems to echo are the words he wrote on a lone piece of paper.

There are also a lot of things that you'll never be aware of so I decided to offer you a few of those things—or at least what I know.

My fingers are cold. My breathing is harsh. It feels like drowning—dispersing into nothing; fading into darkness, shrinking into irrelevance. Or maybe my head is exaggerating the simplest of scenarios though what occurred recently begs to differ. Here I sit, alone with no source of strength nor motivation. The sweat on my brow forms, drips and the fear shows its ugly face though I try my best to not let my expression falter. But all that echoes are the words he wrote on that damn piece of paper.

Kyung, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I've kept you locked inside the house for weeks. I'm sorry I used our daughter as a pawn. I know that this isn't enough to make up for doing something as evil as that. But worse than that, I'm really sorry for letting myself become a pawn as well. I was consumed by the thought of having you that I completely lost all the logic in me.

But I'm determined—determined to tell you the truth.

My heart nothing but tightens, feeling everything that I shouldn't be feeling with all these eyes trained on me like I was a felon who committed the gravest of crimes. I felt guilty though I wasn't and the burden of this was something that I might have to bear until the earth swallows me whole. I look at my shoes beneath the table, my hands folded on my lap, I keep myself composed though what I want to do is nothing more than fall apart.

Byung Soon—she really is gone.

My grip tightens on the fabric of my skirt as I repeat the line I've read a hundred times before all over again inside my head— the line he wrote in the letter he left on the kitchen counter last night.

The girl you saw two days ago, she's not ours. She's someone else's. I was stupid enough to get myself wrapped up in this whole mess because the longing consumed too much of my thinking. Don't worry, I miss Byung Soon as well. She's my only reminder that proves how I had it all good before; eventhough you were happy with someone else. But I will tell you one thing—

I close my eyes tightly, still ignoring the questions being simultaneously thrown at me. I know that even if I do decide to answer them, I would just be a blubbering mess with all the conflict that's going on inside my head. It's so difficult to find even the tiniest places of solace.

That girl—she's Seohyun's. She was hidden because her father left when she wasn't born yet. Kyung, Seohyun wants Joo Hyuk and it's frightening how her conscience was wiped away just because of how desperate she is. But I guess I understood her. At some point along the way, I guess I also felt the same thing for you. I'm sorry.

I don't know how I'm going to make things better. I don't know how I'm going to fix everything I've ru