This wasn’t right. First thing I did was fall down and use my jumper and pillows around me as a cover. I was so deeply ashamed! I really didn’t think I’ll see him tonight. Gladly, Taehyung’s reaction was quick and he excused Namjoon out of the door and came back to me.

“This wasn’t really part of the plan. I didn’t expect him to show up,” he said and I just nodded. I lost my words, what can I say.

I took a pillow and hit my face with it. What the hell was it? He was here and saw me in this…this whatever thing it was. What will he think about me now? How can I look into his face again without being so damn ashamed for what he saw? This cannot be real. Someone, please slap me! It was like an illusion at some point, a dream. But in that kind of erted dream, he’ll come to me and- JIMIN ARE YOU CRAZY? WHAT GOT INTO YOU? When did my mind change into the erted monster? My head met the floor and hosiery got tighter.

I quickly stood up. “I need to change into my own clothes. This just isn’t me,” and I run back to my room. This thing was making me go crazy. Way too tight and so uncomfortable. How can somebody wear this thing? It’s unbelievable what are some individuals willing to do just to attract someone. If that person doesn’t like you for who you are then why should you put something like this on? That’s terrible.

What was even worse I found out that getting out of this was much more complicated than getting in. For a moment, really just a tiny little moment I thought that fastest way would be changing into a tiger and tearing this whole thing apart but I couldn’t do that. After all, it was a gift and doing that would be just mean. I sighed and looked at the maze on my body. Slowly, I found the way out of it, putting it on the chair and wearing my sweatpants again, feeling much much more freedom. I went back to my guests.

BamBam was openly grinning, Taehyung tried not to but failed miserably right as he saw me and only Baekhyun really looked apological when others were basically laughing.

I grimaced at Taehyung and he just blew up. “Muaaahaaa did you muahaaa saw him? Pfft, he looked so shocked I bet he had to calm himself down ptfffhaaaaahaha,” he was bending as he laughed. Yes, rumors were true, the best friend will firstly laugh at your misery before actually feeling bad for you. This was describing Taehyung perfectly. He didn’t know when to stop.

“Yes, yes, thank you, Tae, now I feel much much better,” I blushed madly. This was the most embarrassing moment of my life. And it was in front of Namjoon. Why him? What I know, guys said it was supposed to be cake delivery, how comes Namjoon was there?

“Why was he even here?” I asked and looked at them.

“Oh, Jaejoong couldn’t bring cake by himself so he sent Namjoon who was just nearby. He didn’t have a problem with it,” BamBam said. It was hard for me to believe it but I let it go. It wasn’t that important anymore. What happened, happened.

“Okay… Can we not talk about this anymore? What about watching some movie?” I hoped. It would be even more embarrassing if we’ll be talking further about that. I didn’t want to really…

BamBam, of course, was more than happy I asked and took out one of his half action half romance movies. I sat down, leaned onto the couch and even tho I wanted to pay attention I couldn’t.

It’s going to be awkward around Namjoon after this incident. I probably won’t be talking to him much, avoiding is the best way tho… But, what if he’ll want to talk to me or go for a run like last time? No, no, no, I’ll have my heat in two weeks, it’s in the best interest of both of us we’ll keep some distance. At least I should.

I took out my last future me letter we wrote. Taehyung saw me and pat me on the shoulder.

“I know we always read them out loud but you don’t have to read it if you don’t want to,” he knew what I probably wrote there and it was really painful.

“Don’t worry so much, Tae, I’m fine with that,” I smiled at him and looked at the TV. “But now we should finish watching a movie first,” I leaned my head on the side of the couch and for the rest of the movie my mind kept on replaying Namjoon’s face at the moment when he saw me. I couldn’t get rid of it.

Was I falling in love with him? Impossible. Yet my fantasy went wild. And my heart ached. Why am I easily to fall in love? Why do I always fall so easily? I was tricked once, why can’t my heart learn just understand that? I guess heart is just way too stupid and but brain is doing what he can to prevent the heart from getting hurt. At least I still can fall out of love, I don’t have the worse symptoms yet. I’m not jealous of other omegas that are around Namjoon, nor I feel sad when he’s not here, nor I smile all the time when we’re together. I’m not too deep to not be able to save myself.

I saw few omegas that were trying to get Namjoon’s attention but none of them succeed so far. Maybe Jin was right, maybe Namjoon was really and honestly interested in me but it could also be just a mask. He may just want me as a trophy. And I was worried about that the most. I don’t want to be someone’s trophy again.

Longer I thought about it the longer I felt like I was scared to risk something. I was trying to excuse it with reason that I