Thunder clapped outside his window, but Sehun didn’t notice. After dropping Minyoo off at his house, Sehun had come home and collapsed onto his bed.

He laid on his back in the darkness. Earbuds in, volume up, he tuned out the world.

Junmyeon had made him a playlist for moments like these. He titled it “Emotional Healing”

He could be such a dork sometimes.

But Sehun scrolled past “Emotional Healing” in favor of another song. As the beginning notes filled his brain he remembered those months ago.

Jongdae warned him not to listen to this song. And at first, Sehun had listened to him. But then he’d started down a path he couldn’t stop.

It started innocently enough, just a Spotify search here and there. But then Sehun needed to see him too.

He’d subscribed on YouTube replaying the music videos over and over. Kyungsoo discovered it, unsubscribed, deleted the YouTube app from his phone, and made Sehun promise not to watch his videos again.

It was easy enough for Sehun to promise, seeing him so much had honestly been painful, but Kyungsoo never said anything about listening. Soon, Sehun’s account showed hundreds of downloads from the same artist.

Something about his voice flowing into Sehun’s ear brought both pleasure and pain.

But Junmyeon must have told the others to look out for this because one day Sehun found Minseok deleting the songs.

“Let me keep one song, please!” Sehun begged

“It’s not healthy for you to listen to this Sehun.”

“But the songs are just catchy, anyone could sing them.”

“But he’s singing them.”

“C’mon Minseok hyung!”

“Junmyeon would want all of them deleted.”

“You can tell him you did, he won’t know.” Sehun pouted and pulled on his hyung.

Minseok relented, “Ok, which song do you want to keep?”

“This one.”

That song he chose played through his earbuds now. He let the song envelope him, its melody covering him like a blanket.

That voice reminded him of happy times. The carefree safety he’d felt in the company of his big brother rushed back to him. That voice cradled him and dulled his pain.

But that voice caused him pain too. That voice grated against his ears, made his eyes burn, and his stomach ache.

Yet somehow, when that voice sang the final note and the song faded to silence, Sehun pressed replay.