Episode Nine

Oh Hayoung

“It’s your fault Minjae died, Oh Hayoung! You’re the sole reason…”

The voices were repeating in my head. Minutes before, Kai and I were fighting in the clubroom. He said it again, over and over again. It was my fault. That I deserve to die.

I didn’t kill my brother. I didn’t.

“The little kid wasn’t your son! You’re just taking care of him because you want to lessen the guilt! Well guess what, it won’t erase anything and you know it!”

No. NO!

Minjae’s my son. I-I’ll protect him until I can. I will.

My feet were walking on their own; going around aimlessly as nightmares… bad memories started haunting me in the back of my mind. I was back in the deepest and darkest depths of my soul. No one… no one can take me out.

M-Minjae oppa… M-mianhe…

“Minjae oppa! Where are we going?!” I screamed out loud, walking after my brother along with his two best friends Kai and Sehun who was also my boyfriend. The wind was blowing. We were walking through a wide grassland. I didn’t know where we were. I just followed them blindly because I didn’t want to be apart for too long with my brother. They said it was a secret, where we’re going. I agreed blindly, just wanting to make sure they are okay… that they are well and safe.

I didn’t know back then that I would be the one who’ll hurt them in the end.

“There’s the house, Minjae-yah! Quick, let’s go! Saeun must’ve been there!” Kai shouted, running in quickly to the lone house in a distance. My boyfriend simply ran after him, not even turning his back to look at me. Only my brother was the one who stayed for a moment. He glanced at me with worried eyes before speaking.

“Stay here, okay Hayoung-ah? Don’t come close to the house, no matter what I said, okay?” He mutters, tapping my hair lovingly.”Oppa will be back quick, I promise!”

“B-but oppa, why can’t I come? What are you getting in the house?” I innocently asked.

“I-I… I’ll get something very important to me… I’ll be back soon and show it to you okay? Just wait here, Hayoung-ah.”

I did just as he said. I waited patiently, even when it took them a long time. I didn’t know how long exactly, I never had the best patience in our group. All I did was sit on the grass and watch it sway with the wind. The grasses were a little brown, withered due to the intense heat.

Suddenly, I had an urge to do something terrible. I didn’t even realize how it happened. I always kept a lighter stuck in my clothes. I lit it up and a small smile came to me. It was a growing satisfaction. A stupidity I did when I was still young and innocent.

I lit up the almost dried grass and I watched it scattered away. Slowly and slowly, it covered the whole landscape. I heard a loud scream, but I didn’t know what it meant. The view was too beautiful right before my eyes. I couldn’t stop myself from admiring it.

I didn’t know… I didn’t…

I was too lost that I didn’t notice the three boys back too soon. I was too lost that when Kai gripped my collar, I didn’t know what to say.

“What did you do, Oh Hayoung?! What the are yo