A short story in reference to the Face Down prompt in KFics Anthology Contest (Wattpad)

-🌹-

TRIGGER WARNING
violence
foul language

-🌹-

Junhoe is in one of those coffee-induced afternoons in a coffeehouse near the uni, killing himself for thirteen hours straight trying to finish a marketing analysis due on the same day. There's a headache in his head and it isn't because of the five cups of coffee he had. Groupmates are unresponsive in the groupchat and, as he surmises, would only pick up the slack two hours before deadline. He's too shy to remind them to do it as early as possible.

He's one less paragraph in, the conclusion to his part to finish it off, when the typing line appears and reappears, mocking him because he can't think more sentences. Jittery hands flew to the Iced Americano beside the laptop in response, melted ice already making the beverage bland as it is supposed to be, because for once, since his typing streak ten seconds ago, he could think jack. The cold, bitter taste hits his tongue and tries not to wince as much as he did with the first cup (he hates coffee but drinks for the sake of keeping himself awake).

Junhoe puts down the sweating cup back at the hardwood table and taps his converse on the ground in apprehension, unable to stomach more caffeine. His heart rate is so fast it feels like he ran ten laps without rest.

His eyes roam around the nice, quaint coffeehouse, distracted all of a sudden, and he finds it in the form of a girl sitting two tables away. Like Junhoe, she's here on a typing errand, her long, slim fingers gliding over the keyboard as if transcribing the ideas off her head, and unlike Junhoe, has more productivity going on at the moment. Her fiery orange-dyed locks are something worth of a double take since it's so eye-catching you had to stare. And when he does, Junhoe feels like metal attracted to a magnet.

It must be instinct, but Junhoe's gaze trails down to her legs. Her denim shorts give little to imagination to those unblemished legs that seem to run for miles and miles long. His gaze is taken away when the girl flicks her orange-dyed locks away from her shoulder, exposing her collarbone unhidden by her camisole.

Junhoe must have been staring for too long because the girl turns her head at him, the first expression he sees on her face is one that makes her forehead knot. It catches his breath as he sees not just her side profile, but the whole thing, and he can't help but think how she's so beautiful. Then it takes a beat or so for him to realize that she's looking at him wondering why the hell he's looking.

He looks at his laptop in an attempt to look away but her because , she must think he's a creep, and that thought pushes him to type something, just something, and his screen only shows a cluster of letters together.

Someone slides in the chair in front of him and Junhoe wants to thank her and ignore her at the same time. Thank her because of the distraction and ignore her because the pretty girl sitting by the window must think he's already off the market, which, in an outstanding record of twenty-two years, he isn't.

"Thank goodness you're here," Chaeyoung sighs, oblivious to his mood right now as she settles in her seat, textbooks on top of the desk with a thud, her honeydew bubble tea at hand. "Café's packed!"

Junhoe hits the backspace, a little too noisy than intended, and he does it with short presses instead of holding. The brunette notices this and with unblinking innocence, asks, "What?"

Shrugging it off, he replies, "Nothing," because it isn't Chaeyoung if she isn't oblivious most of the times.

He does the mistake of wandering his gaze back to the girl by the window, who by then, continues her work on her laptop. He sighs, a long deep breath, sulking that she's probably thinking he's some creep and that he's not single anymore. Chaeyoung follows his line of vision, a ghost of a smile on her lips as she sees the redheaded girl.

Chaeyoung gives him a heart attack when she waves and calls the girl's attention. Apparently, her name is Lisa and he can't help but think how it's such a pretty name for a pretty girl like her. Lisa turns around and like a sappy romantic movie Chaeyoung forces him to watch with her, it's all in slow motion with hair blowing away and all that. At least, that's what Junhoe feels.

Lisa sends a polite smile (Her smile is a sight to look at. Perfect 100%), along with a slight nod. It doesn't miss his vision when she sees Junhoe, gears working in her head, he's Chaeyoung's boyfriend, and he wants to explain right there and then that they're not. A lot of people mistake them for dating and usually, he wouldn't give two cents but this time, he wants to insist that they are not, definitely not in a million years, dating.

(Chaeyoung has been there for him for too long it's strange to see her more than just a friend.)

"I know her," Chaeyoung says as she settles her eyes back at him. "She's in my department. Wanna introduce you to her?"

It must be the caffeine that he is a bundle of nerves, but mostly, excitement. Junhoe leans forward. "You'd do that?" he asks, amazed at how he found such luck and grateful for having her who would do such thing.

She sips on her bubble tea, chews the straw once, then nods, her ever sunshine smile widening in return. "What kind of friend am I if I don't do these kind of things?"

And when he grips her hand, partly because he's so happy he could burst and partly because of the caffeine, he doesn't miss the falter in her eyes. But only for a fraction of a second he can't discern if he sees wrong or not.

-🌹-

A week later, Junhoe gathers enough courage (and alcohol courage—his hyungs forced him to drink alcohol, a pretty ty advice, if he is asked, since he had to hide that he drank a little, when his breath is a telling truth) to ask for the girl's number who, by the way, is a Thailand foreigner going by the name Lalisa – Lisa, for short.

Two months later, Junhoe is on the brink of insanity discerning if Lisa's actions are considered friendly or reciprocated to his ty attempt of flirting.

Five months of constant good morning and goodnight texts, picking her up to and fro her apartment, and he got the long-awaited yes he has been waiting for.

Junhoe is accompanying Lisa to her class, holding hands, paces slow, as if they don't want to leave the presence of the other, and it's true because Junhoe wants everything but it to be over (it's the honeymoon phase and he wants to stay at Lisa's side forever).

Lisa leans her chin on his shoulder blade, her doe-like eyes sparkling with the glow of a newlywed, lips pouting, and Junhoe catches her lips with his because she's just so irresistible. It produces a smile from his beloved and he thinks she will forever be beautiful in his eyes.

"Baby," she calls and he tries not to smile so much. He likes how she says it in a cutesy tone.

"Hm?"

His girlfriend swings their arms. "Come live with me."

Junhoe laughs at that, believing that it's a joke. "You just want to spend so much time with me, do you?"

"I'm serious. Live with me at my apartment."

His laugh fades away, seeing how she means it. "What...?"

"It kills me everytime I don't see you. Plus, the landlord's creeping me out. It's not much better that he knows I live alone and he has a spare key to my apartment. I mean, I think I can tackle him down if he does something fishy but what if he does something bad? Like robbing me or something..."

A frown plasters on his lips. Junhoe knows the landlord she's talking about because of his frequent visits and he doesn't like the way the landlord is looking at her.

"What about your parents?"

He knows Lisa's on her own since her parents are in Thailand but their opinion matters too.

"My parents couldn't care . That's why I'm thrown in here anyway... Come on, baby. Please... for me?"

"I'll consult my mother first, okay?"

"What are you, a preschooler? You don't need her permission," she grumbles. "Just come live with me."

Junhoe chuckles. Lisa can be impatient sometimes. Okay, maybe not sometimes because there are instances when she gets irritated. Like that one time she waited for five minutes outside the university's gates because his professor personally praised him for his paper, or that time when they went grocery shopping for her food and the line was too long that Lisa called out the cashier by saying she "could do a better job" than her.

It can be unbearable from time to time but he's too smitten that he's willing to accept everything about her, good and bad. After all, what kind of boyfriend would he be if he's only there at her best?

Someone calls Junhoe's name and it takes the couple to stop walking. Chaeyoung's waving, steps almost hoping as she arrives in front of them. He doesn't miss the way Lisa's grip on his hand stiffens, sparkling eyes changing into an unreadable one. Junhoe can feel her tense up but he doesn't have the time to address it when Chaeyoung speaks.

"Hey, you two lovebirds! It's been a while since I met you two. How you doing?"

Junhoe grins. She's right about that. Maybe it's because being in a relationship means that single life, the one that always meets up with friends, is gone since his timetable has to fit one more person. It's normal, Lisa says, and his friends would understand. So little by little, he distances away from his friends because Lisa says if she loves spending all of her time with him, he should too.

"Ah," Lisa groans, her other hand massaging her forehead. "Oppa, I don't feel so good..."

Junhoe shakes their intertwined hands a little, forgetting about Chaeyoung for a while. "Baby, what's wrong?"

His girlfriend groans a noncommittal response and he's more worried than ever. Sending Chaeyoung a little smile, he says, "I'm sorry. Let's catch up later, hm?"

The response doesn't come when Lisa goes to grab his sweater sleeve, dragging him to a nearby bench. He's confused for a while since he's expecting her to lose strength when the grip on his sleeve tells a different thing. In his line of vision, he sees Chaeyoung shaking her head before proceeding on her way.

"Baby, are you okay—"

Junhoe doesn't get to finish when she digs her fingernails on his arm. "Are you ing out of your mind?"

The pain settles on his arm. Lisa's out-of-the-spur anger is uncalled for but he doesn't say anything because pacifying her is more of a priority.

"What are you talking about?"

His cluelessness only drives him to feel more of her wrath. Junhoe winces and realizes that even underneath the clothing, her nails are imbedding too much it stings.

"I told you I'm uncomfortable with that girl and you have the audacity to flirt with her in front of me. Are you ing with me?" His girlfriend's raising her voice in public and it takes a few students to throw them a glance. Junhoe feels his ears reddening.

"It's not that. You know Chaeyoung's a close friend—"

A hand flew across his cheek in such force that it produces a sound. Now people can't help but stare. Junhoe holds his cheek, eyes wide at what his girlfriend did.

"Lisa..."

If anything, she's still fuming, too absorbed in her own rage. "You don't get to talk back at me!"

Calming her down is more important than his pride, he decides, since it's the first time Lisa's showing an extreme case of jealousy. He shoves his embarrassment deep down and tries his best to understand her, even though she's being unreasonable right now.

"I'm sorry. I'll not do it again, okay?"

"You better be! Worthless piece of ..."

She mutters the last sentence under her breath. But it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt any less.

-🌹-

After the incident, Lisa realizes her mistake of humiliating him in public. She hugs him before they part ways that day and with a breaking voice, she says, "I'm sorry... I was carried away so much that I..."

Junhoe stops her before she cries further. Having her admit her mistakes is enough. She then proceeds to explain that it must be because when her mother remarried, her step-dad would physically abuse her so much that bruises would appear. Drunken nights were the worse because after making sure her mother was sleeping, he'd come in her room and... [by this time, Lisa can't speak much further and Junhoe hauls her in his arms because she's crying and the sight of her crying breaks his heart]

"Does your mother know?"

Lisa shakes her head.

"Where is he now then?" he asks, anger barely restrained in his tone. No one can hurt Lisa like that.

"Still married to my mom..."

He's so shocked he leans away from her, unable to process what she said. "What?"

"But it's okay. He can't touch me anymore because I'm here."

It's so heartbreaking that he hugs her again. "Haven't you thought about reporting him to the police?"

"No!" she screams, a little louder than intended. "Mom loves him more than me so she'll take his side, no matter what happens."

"What if I take your side then? Will that be enough reason for you?"

"Are you stupid? I said I don't want to, okay?"

"But this is an issue that isn't taken lightly—"

"Stop it, Koo Junhoe," Lisa says in a clipped tone and it's enough for him to shut his mouth. Maybe it's still a sensitive issue for her or maybe that he's pushing his boundaries a little, he thinks.

His girlfriend senses him tensing up. As a response, she asks him about his own family because he doesn't talk much about them other than his mother.

Junhoe shakes his head. "It's a long story. And you'll probably pity me so no thank you."

Lisa pouts, gives him her best puppy look and he's chuckling because she knows his weakness very well. "Please please please? Promise I'll not pity you. And it's unfair, you know? I just shared something very personal, something you only know."

"Fine," he says, giving up.

With a sigh, he proceeds to tell her what she wants to hear.

Junhoe's mother raised him alone. When he was little, he would ask her why he didn't have a father like the other kids at school. She'd reply with a smile brighter than the sun that his father was on vacation somewhere. In return, Junhoe would be persistent to persuade her to make him come back since the kids were teasing him so much for not having a father.

It was only when the owner of the rooftop house they were living in kicked them out for not paying months worth of rent that he discovered the truth about his father. His mother was called degrading names, then was reprimanded for letting herself be that she was living a miserable life she couldn't even afford rent.

With tears in his mother's eyes, she confessed that his father wasn't on vacation, but rather in prison for her back when she was in high school. She also apologized to Junhoe because she was a bad mother for not taking care of him properly. And he remembered being speechless because it was the first time he saw her mother cry.

No matter how hard it was for the both of them, she would always give him her best smiles, even though she was tired, even though they could only eat one meal a day (and sometimes, it was only Junhoe who could get to eat) even though all she wanted to do was to cry at the unfairness of it all.

After that day, Junhoe decided that his father was good as dead. He swore he'd be a good son and graduate to find a job so that she wouldn't suffer anymore. His desire to give his mother a good life was partly the reason why he was single until Lisa and how he had a tendency to be an overachiever.

"And how are you and your mother these days?" Lisa asks then, tears already drying in her eyes.

Junhoe smiles. "My mother met this amazing boss who owns a restaurant. She was only there to be a janitor but I don't know, something happened I guess, a chef quitting or something, and this restaurant was on their way to achieve their first Michelin star. Mom always had a passion for cooking and the owner discovered her talent, promoted her to be a kitchen assistant, and after some years, their head chef now. Her salary's more than enough for the two of us, enough for her to buy a house and enough for me to be sent off to college."

Junhoe leaves out the part that his mother's boss is none other than Chaeyoung's mother, that's why he's so close to her, afraid of Lisa getting mad again.

-🌹-

Eight months after and everything is going a bit too fast. Junhoe manages to live with Lisa, despite his mother's strong protests, because Lisa says her landlord broke-in one time when she was sleeping. The news scared him more than his mother's objection so he moved out of their house, whether she likes it or not. His girlfriend needs her more than ever.

The adjustment period is quite hard. Lisa's erratic mood swings are more frequent than ever, to the point that she'd slap him, or even worse, have things thrown at him.

If she didn't told him about her past, Junhoe would've called her crazy. He knows she has issues to deal with herself so he tries to be patient. Plus, it isn't love if he can't endure it.

"Baby, what's your account password?" Lisa says, brows scrunching something at his phone.

Junhoe averts his sight away from the dishes he's washing to his girlfriend sitting by the dining table. "Why, baby?" he asks in the most caring tone he can ever muster, afraid of her being offended.

Lisa looks at him. "If you trust me, you will give me your passwords. Don't you trust me?"

Removing the gloves, he exits the kitchen to go to the adjacent dining area, sensing that it's going to be a long talk.

"I do, it's just, well, there are also things that I have to keep for myself, you know?"

She missed his point, based on the look on her face. Shifting his footing, he has a feeling of what's going to happen next. Lisa's unpredictable but if there's one thing consistent about her, she gets easily triggered.

"Is there something here that you're afraid I'll find out?"

"Of course not. Why would I do that?"

"So by not telling me your passwords, you can freely message girls behind my back, is that what you're saying?"

"No... not at all—"

"You . Be thankful that you're with me. No one will even think of touching your ugly of a face."

Junhoe sighs. Here she goes again. "Fine, I'll give you my passwords. Happy?"

"Happy? . You just ruined my evening... Sleep on the couch, bastard." Lisa rises up from her seat and throws the phone at him that he barely catches with his hands, before walking inside the bedroom, slamming the door.

Eleven months after they met on that nice coffeehouse, Junhoe's tapping his knees in anxiousness, his hand going over his phone at the table from time to time, checking if a message from her is received with delay. Across his seat, Bobby notices, and it doesn't take a magician to figure what he's thinking about.

"Quit worrying about your girlfriend and have a good time for once," Bobby says in a rather diplomatic tone, as if what Junhoe's doing is not illegal at all (it isn't but if you have a girlfriend like Lisa, these things can sound 'illegal').

Hanbin chuckles beside Bobby, stuffing his face with grilled meat. In the middle of him chewing, he comments, "Whipped..."

Junhoe frowns. They don't understand. He isn't supposed to be here. He can't even enjoy the premium beef sizzling in front of him right now. Lisa made it clear that he should hang out less with his friends who are 'worthless losers' since he's being 'infected' with them.

It's hard to adjust at first but he figures in relationships, it's normal. He doesn't have a lot of experience in dating since this is his first and quite frankly, he doesn't want to mess this up. Lisa is such a blessing in his life and he doesn't forget how others say he's so lucky he's with her.

Junhoe's phone rings, a reserved ringtone just for her, and it keeps his nerves on edge because somehow, that sound is telling him he's in a lot of trouble.

Lisa
y r u at samgeori butchers?
I TOLD U TO COME HOME AFTER SCHOOL
U ING COME HOME RN
3:53pm

Lisa's been extra controlling lately, even having GPS on him to see where he is when they're not together. Junhoe lets her have control since he'll get into more trouble (and bruises) if she doesn't.

Junhoe
okay i'll come home baby 
3:53pm

It's the cue for Junhoe to leave. Without even tasting a drop of water in his mouth, he gets up, eyes trained to the phone he has on his right hand, and mutters, "Lisa wants me to come home."

His two friends refuse, wave their hands adamant on not letting him go, and force him to sit back again to eat meat since he hasn't tasted it yet.

"Damn, June. Can't you handle your own woman?" Hanbin grumbles. "It's Bob's birthday and she seriously can't leave you alone, even for just a day."

The phone rings again before he can argue.

Lisa
R U WITH A GIRL RN??
3:54pm

Junhoe types in a reply, quite frantic at his girlfriend sending texts in capslock. If there's anything he learns about Lisa, it's that it's bad news when it's written in caplock.

Junhoe
i'm with bob and bin
sorry i didn't tell u
dragged me by force because it's bobby's bday today
and i know u will not permit me so i insisted i couldn't go
3:56pm

Lisa
What did i tell u about hanging out wd them???
r U ING DRINKING RN?
I swear if youre not here in less than 5mins im breaking up with u
3:56pm

"Hyung, I really have to go," Junhoe says. The recent texts are not helping him calm down. "If I don't, Lisa will kill me."

The both of them chuckle, amused at seeing Junhoe scared to death like this. Finally, Bobby waves him off. "Go. I know you love her more than us."

He doesn't get to reply to that when Lisa assaulted his phone with various texts containing expletives thrown at him. It's a regular thing he's used to nowadays. He doesn't know where it's coming from but whenever she gets angry, it's always because she thinks he's cheating behind her back. Junhoe types in, no i'm not cheating baby, i'm coming home right now i'm sorry, please wait for me i can explain, no there are no girls with us, i love you you're the only one.

Junhoe arrives at her apartment, now their apartment, since she coerced him to live with him two months ago. His mother doesn't like the idea and most of all doesn't like Lisa but he thinks she doesn't understand because she doesn't know her that well yet. He doesn't force his mother to accept Lisa but he wishes she'll just reconsider her judgment. All he wants is for his beloved mother to accept the love of his life.

Inserting in the key, he twists it on the left with his hand on the knob to raise it a little since it can only be opened that way. When he opens it, Junhoe greets, "Baby, I'm home—" and he doesn't get to finish his sentence when a slipper went flying on his face. It doesn't cause much damage but he's shocked nevertheless.

"Lisa?"

Her tall girlfriend rises from the burgundy couch and strides towards his figure by the door. Sensing that something will happen, Junhoe closes the door behind him. And what he's expecting comes when her hand goes across his cheek. It stings. Junhoe holds his cheek, eyes lacing with guilt, because he thinks it's his fault. Her words tell him so.

The slap isn't enough for her as she gives him a series of slaps that he tilts his torso so his back faces her, afraid of her hitting any fresh wounds he had yesterday. In between of the hitting, she screams, "You ing cheater! You're lucky you're even with someone like me! Stupid bastard!"

The hits come like forever, along with the insults. Junhoe doesn't think of anything else but for it to stop. He braced every hits, gritting his teeth so hard he feels like they'll come off anytime soon.

-🌹-

The scratches on his arm sting like hell. Junhoe puts on the ointment he has on his pocket in conveniency. It's okay; scars can heal over time. The degrading things she told him earlier though? Maybe not so much.

There's a reason why emotional pain lasts longer than physical ones. It's that it's bound to linger in your head and makes it its home, the self, a boundless prisoner who has no chance for bailing out.

It isn't that easy. When you're told things over and over again, there will come a point that you will also doubt yourself and believe that it's the truth. So when Lisa says he will always be like garbage and that he will never get to do anything successful in his life, Junhoe's starting to think the same too.

Junhoe's failing, not just in his classes but his life's spiraling out of control. In a matter of months, he has developed a nasty habit of biting his fingernails whenever he gets anxious. He can't sleep at night for an unknown reason and sometimes it's too extreme that he drinks some sleeping pills before going to bed.

After Lisa's crazy episode, Junhoe took it upon himself to sleep on the couch on the living room. In the dark, he sees shadows shift, before the couch creaks and he feels Lisa's familiar warmth enveloping his body.

"I'm sorry," she mumbles. His shirt gets damp and he realizes she's crying. "I'm so sorry for hurting you so much. I've been stressed with school and mom called me earlier saying they'd come visit me and I don't want to because I'd see that bastard again..."

Even though in the dark, Junhoe's face grows concerned. He shifts so that they can share the couch altogether. With one hand, he runs his fingers through her hair because he knows how much it calms her down.

"It's okay. I'm here..."

"No it's not," she objects, her voice muffled by his shirt. "He's coming and – and I can't help but be scared to death because what if he does it again?"

"He will not," Junhoe replies in a defiant tone, intent to shield Lisa from the person who makes her like this. "Because I'm here. I'll protect you."

Her lips land on his chapped ones, murmuring, "Thank you..." under her breath. It feels like a kiss from a rose whose thorns are out to hurt him. The more he holds on, the more he bleeds. But he's too blinded by the beauty to even think of letting go.

The night goes by with her crying in his arms and she has been crying for too much that she gets tired and goes into slumber. When Junhoe notices, he sighs, looking at her with pity in his eyes, and wants nothing but for her to heal from the past.

He wishes that she stops torturing him in the process though.

-🌹-

Junhoe feels a hand bringing his arm down, only realizing late that he's biting his nails again. Chaeyoung comes up from behind, places a glass of water at the table in front of him and sits across, propping her elbows on the surface to lean her fists on her cheeks. Her brows are furrowing in a failed attempt of a glare to intimidate him because she looks cute. Chaeyoung and serious doesn't go hand-in-hand by the way.

"What?" Junhoe asks.

Her brows furrow deeper. "You made auntie cry the first time she hears you leaving."

They both know very well who she is talking about. It doesn't make it easier to hide the pain in his chest.

"Is she uhm... here?" Junhoe asks, trying not to sound too hopeful that his mother isn't here because he can't face her yet, not when he's drowning with so much guilt.

"No. Mom made her take a day off because she's so distraught about someone who abandons everyone after meeting a pretty girl."

He lets her backhanded comment slip. "I see... thank you."

Chaeyoung's expression changes. "You know, as a friend – a very close friend months ago before that Lisa took you away – I'm worried sick about you. I hear you're failing classes, you changed a lot, oh, and don't forget that you made your mother cry."

"—It's sorta a rebellious streak but like, you're twenty-three, so I don't know. Is this some late teenage angst you're going through?"

Her ramblings only made him sigh. Frankly, he doesn't know too. All he knows is he's battered and tired, and every time he stands up, he gets beaten down again. It's a freak show of some sort but like a puppet, he gets along with it.

"Junhoe... Junhoe..." Chaeyoung calls to get his attention back. "Talk to auntie, please? She's been miserable ever since you left. You know she only has you."

"I know but Lisa... she needs me. It's a lot more complicated than you think it is."

"Complicated enough for you to fail classes and abandon your mom?" He can almost feel her eyes rolling in her tone. "Look, maybe you think that I'm against you and whatnot but I can see that Lisa's been nothing but bad for you. Ever since she came to your life, you've been a mess. Is she worth it to waste your college life for this?"

"—Talk to your mother. It's okay if you abandon us, your friends, toss us aside as if we're nothing to you anymore but please, talk to her. She needs you the most right now."

Junhoe stays silent. No one knows what Lisa's doing when it's the two of them. The bruises and scratches are hidden underneath the sleeves and pants. Still, Chaeyoung's words creates an impact even though he doesn't show it. Silence reigns on them and he's thankful she doesn't say anything else.

The chair in front of him screeches, making him jolt a little and look at Chaeyoung. She doesn't return it because she's looking at something else outside.

Without a word, she gets out of the restaurant, Junhoe's gaze following after her. She comes near a man with ragged clothes sitting in front of the restaurant. She rubs her arms, like one would do when it's cold, and the man nods in a timid fashion. He sees her smiling like an angel who can make anyone feel welcome (like how she did to him ten years ago) and invites the man inside.

Junhoe, knowing what will happen next (really, Chaeyoung is predictable with things like this because she has a heart of gold), couldn't help but smile. She reminds him of her own mother who took them in after being kicked out, leading him to remember the past. It flashes like a montage in his head, each memory like daggers hurled in his chest. His mother who sacrificed so much for him, is suffering because of his decisions.

Junhoe feels his heart hurting a little more.

-🌹-

Junhoe hasn't yet closed the door when a plate comes flying on his face. If he didn't move away on time, he would find it a suspect of a broken nose.

"Where the did you go?!"

Another plate comes, this time, Junhoe couldn't avoid anymore. It hits his nose before crashing to pieces on his feet. He winces and realizes that something warm is trickling down on his nose. When he swipes a finger on it, he sees blood. .

"Where the have you been!"

Now Lisa's closer to throw punches on his his arms, on his torso, everywhere that is just him and maybe because he's too numb that he lets her do what she wants.

"Lis, j – just please, let me explain—"

"I know you were with that Chaeyoung ! You ed her, didn't you? You ed her so hard she must've been so sore, didn't you?!"

Junhoe frowns at the foulness of , not liking it one bit. This is the reason why he doesn't want to tell her he's meeting up with Chaeyoung, who, by the way, he hasn't seen in months, just to keep Lisa at bay about her cheating accusations (which is practically nonexistent). But Chaeyoung's begging to meet up with him and it isn't to catch up, but rather to talk about her mother.

"You ing ! Just like your of a mother who obviously failed in raising you!"

Junhoe grimaces, pushing back the flashback of the rooftop house owner saying the same things to his mother out of his head. It pushes him to the edge.

"Lalisa, stop," he says for the first time but it doesn't quite reach her ears. She goes on a tirade on how his mother deserves getting and all and he has heard enough to gather enough courage to say, "Stop it," in a loud voice and holds both of her wrists. Lalisa pauses, quite surprised at his actions.

"Don't talk to my mother like that. You can hurt me as much as you want but keep her out of this."

Junhoe puts down her wrists. He has had enough. It's like his mind went into auto-pilot that he doesn't make sense of what's happening. With one hand on the doorknob, his fingers keeping themselves from shaking, he says, "I hope you get professional help. You need it. Seriously."

-🌹-

Junhoe asks to stay over at his friends' that night, Bobby and Hanbin, because he can't go back to his mother he's only bringing sorrow nowadays. His friends are cool with it, even though they're not on speaking terms anymore, because as what Bobby says, "We'll always be brothers, man. Always."

(It's the nicest thing he has heard in a while that Junhoe's eyes gloss with tears. Afraid of being called a wimp, he wipes it away with the back of his hand.)

He feels free for the first time ever. They played playstation all night long and it's like the days of their youth came back. Bobby and Hanbin don't make him feel that he missed out on a lot of things, and continue treating him like old times, as if months of no contact didn't occur between them.

Before they know it, it's the dead of the night and usually, when it's the dead of the night, it brings the best out of people, a raw, unconstrained version of themselves.

Junhoe's in the middle of smashing an ogre when reality hits him like a truck. It's funny how sadness can hit him up in the most random times.

"I left her."

The two exchange glances. Without a word, Hanbin pauses the game, sensing that he wants to talk. Junhoe puts down the controller, a nonchalant expression on his face as he gathers the courage to say the next words.

"I've had enough. I don't want anything to do with her. At all."

"We know." Bobby shrugs, sensing Junhoe looking at him. "It's kinda hard not to assume anything when you're sporting a black eye and a crooked nose."

Fetching his phone to use as a mirror, Junhoe touches his face. Bobby's right. He winces and puts the phone down. He looks so ugly he can't even bear to look at himself.

"Dude, you know you can always fight back."

Bobby nods. "Yeah, you can always put her in her place or something. Maybe you were too feminine that she felt the need to take over for you. I mean, you're too submissive sometimes. Girls don't like that."

Junhoe stares at them and he realizes, they don't understand at all.

It's so convenient that the screen of his phone lights up, Lisa's contact ID appearing at the notifications bar so many times. Junhoe picks it up, heart warming over the texts he receives and he wants nothing but to run out of the house to come back to her arms.

Lisa
u know how i am wd my past and all
forgive me?
come home pls
i can't live w/o u
u know you're the only one who know me well
you're the only one who knows my past
you're special to me
you're d only one who can make me feel loved when no one wants to
so pls come back
ill b better to u ds time i promise
12:54am

Bobby goes over and snatches the phone away, Hanbin over his shoulder watching him type, their faces displaying amusement. They high-five together as Bobby throws it back on his lap. Opening his messages, he sees why they're laughing.

Junhoe
off
12:55am

-🌹-

Junhoe shuts his eyes tight, leaning his head back on the wall. He feels a weight on his shoulders and no matter how he tries, it doesn't come off. In his peripheral, he sees a shirtless Bobby lying on the carpet, surrounded by numerous beer cans and Hanbin on the couch. Both are sleeping soundly, knocked down by their drinking fest earlier. Junhoe has drank too but just a little so he's still awake. Besides, he doesn't think alcohol is enough to knock him down after everything.

Lisa
junhoe pls
pls come back
i need u
im a mess i know
and i know im always leaning on u so much
pls come back to me
i love u
junhoe
pls reply
i think ill kill myself
im thinking about it these days
sorry for bothering u so much
2:32am

Junhoe stares at the lit screen, the texts leaving a dangerous echo in the midst of silence. He taps his index finger on the side of the phone, frown marring as he thinks hard.

Should I or should I not?

It took him a mountain of courage to leave her after all the things she did. He must be considered dumb if he goes back again.

Without meaning to, his eyes glaze over the last texts she sends.

Ah. this.

He grabs his jacket and leaves his friends' apartment in a hurry. Lisa has the ability to make him feel like but when she's talking about killing herself, he can't sit around and do nothing.

When the first knock came, Lisa opens it and hugs him tight, tears already drenching his shirt. Junhoe sighs and as always, pats her head.

"I – I knew you'd come..."

With a million sorry's and tearful kisses, they're back together again, filling promises for tomorrow that everything will get better, that it will not happen anymore, because they love each other so much not to try once more.

Junhoe has Lisa beside him on the bed, now resting after crying for so much. Her sleeping face makes her look like an angel, like how he thinks of her when he saw her first on that coffeehouse.

He knows he's digging his own grave with what he's doing but he loves Lisa and sometimes, it's enough if he has love to get him by, right?

-🌹-

If there's one mistake Junhoe knows he did, it's believing that people change when they say they'd change. Lisa doesn't.

He rationalizes that maybe it's hard for people to turn away from their past that it haunts them wherever they go. Maybe Lisa sees the ghost every time and unable to gain control, she finds something to hold on to, and it comes in the form of him.

The abuse gets worse and worse everyday.

Even though it's in the middle of summer, he wears long-sleeves just to hide all the things that makes him feel so ugly and disgusted at himself.

The abuse doesn't stop. But this time, Junhoe has enough.

Lisa
come home
right now jackass
i know you're going to that chaeyoung
ing filthy cheater
1:32pm

Junhoe stares at the phone screen, boring holes with his gaze he thinks it's going to break any second now.

Lisa
im sorry i got ahead of myself again
please come back home
baby
pls reply
just anything
ill kill myself if u dont
ING ASS URE NOT REPLYIGN????
ILL KILL MYSELF
AMD BLSME IT ON U
SO THAT EVERYONE WILL KNOW HOW ITS ALL UR ING FAULT
ITS UR FUALT IM LIKE THIS
ALWAYS WILL BE
1:40pm

A smile appears on his Junhoe's face. He long-presses the button on top of his phone to turn it off, pocketing it after the screen goes black.

The restaurant in front of him feels too unfamiliar with all the renovations. The patio has a rustic tigerwood deck that gives hollow footsteps when one walks by. The owner's choice of an old-fashioned style comes at the exterior decorated with picture windows, lavender foxglove shrubs, and a decorative bicycle swirling with flowers on its every curve. They revamped the whole place, Junhoe notes, since the patio was full of wooden tables and chairs before.

With a deep calming breath, he walks over the wooden deck, his steps echoing along the floor, and pushes the restaurant's glass door open, the bell creating a melodious ring he's so glad to hear.

"Good afternoo—" Chaeyoung's smile falters at the sight of him. Her face shows concern, knowing there's something wrong. She exits out of her spot by the reception and goes to him. "Junhoe..."

Junhoe doesn't say anything. Instead, he hugs her, afraid he's gonna break if he doesn't. He feels rejected when she pushes him away and before he can leave with a broken heart, she takes his hand, dragging him away from the restaurant's vicinity to the cramped storage room. It smells like fresh produce and forest and it takes him back to the days when he'd catch Chaeyoung here, munching on apples or pears because she gets hungry in between shifts.

"I'm sorry; I had to take you away. Customers are staring and I feel you wouldn't like it," she says, her tone coming off as breathless. "What...what happened to your face?"

"...I have something to show."

He s his long-sleeves and it makes her forehead knot. He scolds himself because he can't seem to his shirt with the way his hands are shaking. Breathing deeply, he gathers himself and tries again, this time with more stable work.

"What are you on to...?"

Chaeyoung trails off, seeing the reason why he's stripping. She stares at the scratches and claw marks on his arms, some pinkish, some fresh that it's still reddening. Her sight trails to the ugly, purple bruises on his chest that peeks through underneath the tank top. Her upper lip quivers and goes closer, every steps feeling heavy as if disbelieving everything she sees.

Her sight is up to him, observing every bit of his face littered with cuts and he looks away because he can see her eyes watering. Junhoe can feel her shaky fingers trail on his right arm before she can't take it anymore and quiet sobs escape her lips. He hates the sound of her crying because it's so heartbreaking he can't help but do the same too.

With trembling hands, Chaeyoung holds his face, eyes telling him of everything that speaks of love and warmth, like how she was when they had nothing to go. She doesn't pity; she wears her heart on her sleeves too much that it feels his pain is her pain too.

Junhoe doesn't realize how much everything's wrong and ed up until he sees his sight glossing with tears. It's unmanly but hell, it's so liberating.

"I'm tired. So so tired..." he whispers.

This time she's hugging him on the waist, careful not to hug him so much because she must think he has more hidden underneath his tank top. She's right but he doesn't point it out. "You must've suffered so much..."

"I'm sorry..." he mumbles like a kid. "I'm so sorry for not listening at all."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for." By then, her words are garbled, voice too strained to even speak. "Nothing's your fault."

It feels like forever in her arms. Somewhere in his tears, he wants to laugh at Chaeyoung because she's crying as if she's the one hurt, not him. But it's okay. As long as the tears dry out, as long as the heart gets tired, it's okay, because Junhoe feels like home for the first time.

After they calm themselves down, Chaeyoung says sorry for crying so much because she knows how much he hates to see her cry and also sorry for the snot that got in his shoulders. Junhoe doesn't say anything because their crying fest disables him to even think of something to say.

"Do you want to talk to your mother?" she asks, hands too busy to wipe any trace of tears in her eyes.

Wordlessly, he nods. She leaves to fetch his mother after. While waiting, Junhoe wears his long-sleeves because he doesn't want to see one more person heartbroken again.

The door opens a minute later. When he sees the weary face of his mother, it's a struggle to keep the tears at bay because even before she arrives, she's already broken down in tears, and more so when they reunite in a hug long undue.

Junhoe mutters sorry over and over again, muffled by his mother's uniform. She holds him tight, Junhoe gritting his teeth to hide how painful it is for his bruises, but it's alright since he's more overwhelmed with everything she says in her embrace. Somehow, he feels like he's already been forgiven a long time ago.

-🌹-

It feels like coming back to a hometown after a few years. It's strange to see new buildings and sights to see that didn't belong there before. But it's nice because it's where he belongs all this time.

After getting rid of Lisa in his life, Junhoe's back on his regular routine. Back then, she'd prevent him from leaving the house, even for the reason that he has to go to school. He doesn't attempt to get his things from her apartment, in fear she'd lock him up forever. It's okay. Things are replacable. He can't fathom to stay a second longer in there.

Even if he has irregular classes, he's more than happy. For now, he's trying to love himself, piece by piece, until he can feel whole again.

It's when he's at the study hall, trying to get back to his routine, that the glaring truth of his shattered pieces appear when the past comes haunting him.

Hanbin has been short of breath, sounding as if his lungs are going to give out any second. In between pants, he says, "Your... ex... Chaeyoung... fighting..."

And it's enough for Junhoe to jolt out of his seat. "What?"

-🌹-

Junhoe arrives on the scene, nikes almost squeaking on the ground. He doesn't feel fatigue catching up for a bit when he sees Lisa tearing Chaeyoung's hair so much that tears are appearing on her eyes.

His hands ball into fists, barely constraining his anger. Lisa can hurt him until he's numb but certainly not Chaeyoung. No... Chaeyoung is too good for the world to be treated like this.

Red flashing in his eyes, he holds Lisa's shoulders and tears her away from Chaeyoung. A disheveled Chaeyoung breathes, at least tries to, when Junhoe holds her attacker in place.

Hanbin takes a shocked Chaeyoung, telling her in comfort, "Let's get you in the infirmary, okay?"

Chaeyoung is too stunned to even argue that she lets Hanbin lead her out of the place.

"What are you doing?" Junhoe shouts, a first he has ever done in front of Lisa. He lets go of her.

Lisa grits her teeth and sends a glare too vile for him. It reminds him of the days when she'd lash out, causing the fear too familiar to rise.

"I knew it! She's the reason you left me. You were cheating the whole time!"

Understanding her mood, he tries a more calm approach. He's scared to death that she'll hurt him again but they're in public and he knows she wouldn't do anything.

"I never cheated on you."

"Then come back to me. I need you, Junhoe. Please... I'm sorry for everything. I'll never do it again. Just... please come back."

Junhoe looks away from her. He sees her pain, all the things that makes her scared, and he's also afraid that looking longer at it would make him come back. But he also knows she's nothing but a mistake.

"No... You say you're sorry every time, but why do you always do it again?"

"Junhoe..."

Gathering up the courage, he continues, "You hurt me until I'm battered to pieces, until I can't feel anything anymore. I'm sorry but I can't live like this."

Lisa purses her lips, eyes glossing with tears he's too familiar to see. "I'm so scared, Junhoe. Don't you love me?"

It makes him frustrated because she's not even listening to what he's talking about, moreso try to understand it. He doesn't know what world she lives in to think that saying sorry is enough to mend the wounds she caused. It isn't. Coming back to her only meant that she'll hurt him, put a bandage on it, and hurt him all over again.

"I know about your fears, but it's been so hard for me to see past through that because I'm so tired. I love you but I have to love myself too."

By then, her tears come down like a waterfall. But it doesn't affect him anymore. "You're the only one who can understand me. Please... just come back."

"No." Junhoe stands firm, his face hardening. "We're done and that's the end of it."

-🌹-

After the confrontation with Lisa, Junhoe rushes to the infirmary to check up on Chaeyoung. When Hanbin sees him coming, he rises from the stool beside her bed, pats Junhoe by the doorway and leaves, sensing that the two need to talk.

Chaeyoung is sitting cross-legged on the bed, combing her hair with a brush, but it's too tangled up that she's wincing with every . Seeing him arrive, she tries to smile. From the way her hands are shaking, he knows she's far from wanting to. She hides it well but she's not fooling anybody.

Junhoe sits at the empty space, the bed creaking as he does so. He stares at the reddish hand mark on her cheek and he can't help but blame himself. It's obvious on her face, a huge contradiction on her milky skin. Consumed with guilt, he swipes his thumb over the mark with soft , hoping that he can heal it with his touch.

She stops her warfare with the brush and brings it down on her lap. "Oh Junhoe... it isn't your fault."

"She will not attack you if it wasn't for me."

"Stop blaming yourself for the things you can't control. You don't want this to happen, do you?"

He stays silent, too consumed in his own guilt. She isn't having it as she waves him over, her arms open in an inviting manner. "C'mere."

Without fussing over it, he goes in her arms. Chaeyoung has her arms around his neck, him, around her waist. She pats his back like a mother does and it makes his heart at ease for a little.

"I don't know how you endured it a hundred times. It's a first for me but I'm traumatized," she murmurs. "It makes me think how stronger than you think you are. I'm proud of you."

Junhoe smiles even though she can't see it. Without mistake, Chaeyoung knows the right words to say. She always has. It dawns on him then, that he can't bear to lose her again, not ever in a million years.

The flower bouquet on Junhoe's back crinkles with every step he takes inside the packed restaurant. The staff has their hands full and even though his arrival will make a staff greet him, no one does, too preoccupied serving tables left and right. It's an organized chaos nevertheless.

On the counter behind the register, elegant Mrs. Park catches his eyes. She shakes her head, spotting the green bouquet he hides behind him and gestures at the staff room, knowing full well the cause of the gentleman's arrival. He bows with an easy smile, not forgetting about his manners, and proceeds to the staff room.

Before he can swing the door open, Junhoe checks his reflection in the window to see if his moussed-up hair has been ruined or if there's some dirt on his face. Somewhat satisfied, he tugs his black coat, inhales sharply, and enters inside.

The staff room is empty, save it for Chaeyoung who sits on the red plastic chair situated in front of a mahogany countertop. Behind her is another partition to accomodate the sink, stacks of dinnerware placed on shelves on top of it. She faces the bay window decorated with little cactus pots, too immersed scrolling in her phone. On one hand is a stick of rice cake already consumed in half.

He goes over to take a big bite, taking her sight off the phone to exclaim, "Hey!"

Wanting to , he chews the rice cake as loud as he can and mutters, "It's good. Not expired..."

A laugh as sound as a bell produces from her lips. "Junhoe!" Chaeyoung puts down her phone, propping an arm on the table to lean her cheek on it. "What's up? Thought you're too caught up working in the bank?"

He shrugs and sits at the chair next to her. He sees her looking at the bouquet but doesn't say anything.

"You know, I always wonder why you're single for a long time. No boys to keep you busy?"

"Well, been in love with an idiot for twelve years now and I don't think any boy can't take my mind off him."

"You serious? Who is it? Is it someone I know?" he asks and copies her by leaning his cheek on his palm, the move making their faces closer together.

She rolls her eyes, unaffected by their closeness. "It's you, silly."

Junhoe grins. "I know." He brings out the bouquet and helds it out in front of her but she looks at it as if it's something foreign. Seeing this, he nudges her knee with his. "It's for you."

Chaeyoung accepts the bouquet. "You know I'm more satisfied if you bring me food than flowers."

She means it like she doesn't want flowers but seeing the twinkle in her eyes as she admires it tells him a different thing.

"That's why it's edible."

Her face glows with excitement. "Really?"

"Mhm."

Without hesitation, she tears out a leaf and munches on it. After a short while, she brings out her tongue, her face contorting like she tasted something bitter. Junhoe, unable to hold it anymore, burst into laughter. Chaeyoung is really easy to fool.

"Junhoe..." she whines and places the bouquet on the table. "You're really really really mean. I'll tell you on auntie!"

Even her threat isn't enough to make him stop laughing. "Sorry! You're just..." He is cut off with another round of laughter.

She pouts like a child does and it's too adorable that Junhoe stops altogether. "Okay, fine, I'll stop."

"Why are you dressed in a tuxedo? Are you going somewhere nice?" Chaeyoung changes the topic. "Is there an important event?"

He shakes his head. "No. Just... when I woke up today, I realized how lucky I am with you."

"Junhoe..."

"This is going to sound cheesy but... thank you for trying to fix a broken man like me, when I don't even have the confidence to do that myself."

It takes her to be silent, staring at him with an unreadable look on her face. Junhoe continues, "I still wonder at night why you're with me but I'm happy. I may not be the perfect boyfriend because I'm still trying to figure things out, but you make me feel like one."

"Ah... stop it. You're making me cry."

Junhoe chuckles, placing a chaste kiss on her lips, and takes her in his arms, unable to see her crying. She accepts without struggling and buries her head on his chest. He revels in the soft lavender fragrance of her hair, smelling a lot like a field of flowers, and it calms him down because that's just how she is.

Chaeyoung has been there for him through thick and thin. She has been there when the post-breakup haunted him too much that it chases him in his nightmares. She has been there to hold his hand when he'd go back into his nasty habit of biting his nails. She has been there for him all this time and he thinks he's such an idiot for looking at roses when he has one right beside him all this time.

The wounds may have healed but it still left scars only time can take away. But Junhoe's not complaining. He knows it can never end in a day. All he has to do is fill his life with so much love bigger than his pain. And he finds it in the form of a certain Park Chaeyoung, giving him love he knows he doesn't deserve. Still, it's not as if Junhoe's complaining either. She is the remedy to his sickness and one day he knows, the past will just be that, a past.

end.

for this face down prompt, i decided to shed a light on abuse against men (the prompt is about a girl experiencing domestic abuse but the contest said i can go off a tangent sooo...) okay long- note ahead but wait, hear me out.

korea, in particular, is a patriarchal country and with that, men are expected to show their masculinity, act strong etc. this is the reason that when abuse against men arises, victim blaming usually occurs. they are led to believe by many that they're not showing enough masculinity for abuse to occur to them.

and yes, i know how abuse against women is real (articles say that 8 out of 10 korean men abuse women) but when it's happening to men, sometimes, people forget that they have feelings too.

abuse isn't just happening in korea but everywhere in the world as well. i just think that since i'm using korean characters, i could use my internet to good use and research about it (how countries and their citizens look at abuse vary from country to country). you know how koreans look so little about mental health (look at park bom) but i digress.

i'm not undermining abuse against women but it's just a quick reminder that men suffer from inequality too.