Chapter 30

The Real Beauty
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"Sori, come downstairs, it's for you". Although she was surprised for a moment, Sori had to stifle the unpleasant groan that was making its way out of . Unplanned visits weren't her thing, now more that ever.



For the most part of the afternoon she had been lying down with a decorative cushion under the right side of her back, since her sciatica had been giving her hell ever since she had opened her eyes in the morning. The last thing she could possibly desire to do was getting down a flight of stairs to talk with someone she had no idea she would have to meet. Couldn't Jongdae deal with this on his own? She complained in her mind, already knowing she definitely needed to get up now that Jongdae had called her.



Mentally cursing herself and her stupid choices, Sori rolled on her side, doing her best to keep her back rigid until she really couldn't anymore, trying her best to spare herself some pain. If what her doctor had told her was real, she was definitely going to need to buy herself some hot packs to stick on her back until this stupid back pain left her in peace. Also, the stupid shortness of breath whenever she had to stand up was definitely not going to be missed once she gave birth.



Holding a hand firmly behind her lower back, Sori slowly waddled down the stairs, making her way towards the kitchen, from where she could hear a soft conversation going on. The house was mostly quiet, since the guys were all in the living room watching some action movie Sori didn't really care to see. The sound of her loud steps echoed ominously around the corridor, covering up the sounds of the conversation, thus making in impossible for her to understand whom was asking for her or the topic of the conversation.



For a moment the disappointment and anxiety she felt when she got to see who it was that was asking for her showed on her face, but then Sori managed to hid it behind a more stoic expression. What was Jin doing here? Was he here to discuss once again the same topics? Not that she was going to change her mind, but she really didn't feel like talking about it or seeing him at the moment. There were also some bags behind his chair and they smelt like BTS' pack house... did he bring her the clothes she had left there? Well, that was cute, but they were not going to fit her at the moment.



"Oh, hello Sori", Jin greeted her as soon as he caught her scent. His shoulders looked kind of stiff, as if he was uncomfortable with the situation they were in at the moment, but he had been the one to cause it, she reasoned.



"Hello", she greeted back calmly, not giving away the anxiety she was feeling at the moment. "Why the sudden visit?". Was that too rude? I mean, it's not my house, I shouldn't make the guests uncomfortable...



"Oh, uhm, yeah, about that... I was allowed to go out on my own as long as I came here, so... I brought you these little presents from me and the guys, and I hope you will like them", he stuttered a little while his cheeks reddened. "It's nothing big, but since the last time we saw each other you were going shopping, I thought we could buy you something small to help you out with your new wardrobe". Seokjin wasn't one for big speeches and sentiments, so his words were just about what Sori would have imagined for him to say, still, the idea of them shopping for her wasn't sitting well with her. Not to mention that she had been gifted way too many clothes and baby stuff from EXO already. "Narae told me you had almost everything for the baby, so yeah... just take a look for yourself". He shoved the various bags he had brought with him in her hands and went back to chattering up with Jongdae, basically ignoring her presence in the room.



Sori was grateful for that little moment of quiet she was guaranteed, so that she could take a look at the presents without having to overreact to show she appreciated the nice gesture. She did appreciate it, she just wasn't used to receiving presents, and having to open them up in front of other people made her cringe.



The first bag was quite small and its light blue color gave away that it was for Minsoo. It contained a little green bib and a tiny stuffed yellow puppy. There was also a short note saying: "From uncles Tae and Minmin, we love you". Her eyes stung a little while reading those words, but she managed to keep them under control. It felt good to know that someone loved her baby although they had had little to no contact with him so far. It gave her the hope, the chance to hope that if something ever happened to her, they were not going to leave Minsoo become some homeless child. Maybe they hadn't acted correctly towards her, but towards her baby? Were they going to act the same way? Sori didn't wander further than that with her thoughts, scared she would ruin her already dull mood. No need for that. She was going to take things as they came, and Narae was going to be there if anything happened. Narae and Baekhyun were going to be there for her baby if she ever couldn't.



In the other bag there was a soft looking fabric. It was quite simple by the looks of it, just some yellow here and there. Oh, it's a blanket! A tiny blanket for Minsoo's cradle! That was cute! So far she hadn't bought one and no one had gifted her one as a present. Moreover it was in a gender neutral color, just like she desired although she hadn't mentioned it in front of Seokjin, not to mention that he had chosen a color that was easy to match with the other baby stuff she owned. Not to mention that it was gray, so if it got dirty it wouldn't show right away. Sori picked up the tiny note that was left in the bag, noticing only then that there was a tiny word written in yellow. Well, two words: Uncle Yoongi. So it hadn't been chosen by Jin, but Yoongi hadn't found the courage to bring it to her in person. Well, Sori could still appreciate his gently gesture and the intention behind it, albeit they still needed to fix some divergences between them. Again, Yoongi was showing that he did in fact know her, yet somehow he was stuck on an idea he couldn't move on from, or so it seemed to Sori.



The last bag was slightly bigger than the others, which left Sori quite perplexed. What had they bought for the baby to have to be put in a bag that big? The outside of it didn't give anything away, but pressing on it Sori could understand it was going to be some soft material again. Maybe another blanket for the baby? Uhm, no, probably it was something else, because it felt too big to fit in the cradle they had bought.



Checking quickly if Seokjin was looking, Sori quickly opened the pack to find a soft pajama inside it. It was white with tiny white flowers embroided here and there in the front, while in the back there were simple but moving words: “best mom in the world”. Her eyes stung a little when she read those words, still she made sure not to spill any tear nor to be noticed by the two guys in the room. She made sure to keep her head bowed until she felt fine again, and she was quite successful too. She didn't need to read any note to know the present was from Namjoon. His scent was quite easy to smell from the very moment Sori opened the bag, and Sori could smell it all over the pajama. He must have held it as he had taken some time to decide whether to gift it to her for it to have taken his scent so remarkably.



“Thank you”, she whispered as soon as she was able to force her muscles to move again.



“Oh, no, don't thank me, I wanted to buy you something... different, you know. More like my style, but they didn't let me. I'm only here as a messenger”, Seokjin shrugged, faking indifference.



“In that case, thank you for having taken the time to bring me these gifts”, she told me in a slightly louder voice. Something inside her was trying to focus on the lack of gifts from Jungkook, but she was trying very hard to oppose to that kind of negative thoughts. She was going to focus on the presents she had receive rather than on the ones she had not received. She was going to be grateful and the rest could wait for later.



“Uhm, no need to”, he told her as he scratched his reddening neck. “I actually wanted to come to talk to you about... something”. He quickly eyed Jongdae, letting Sori know that he wasn't sure he should mention their last conversation in front of Jongdae.



“I'm going to catch up with Minseok”, Jongdae caught up right away and softly dismissed himself from the conversation, letting the two ex-pack mates chat comfortably. Minseok lately had been spending more time at work to help fill in for a coworker who had gone away for a long holiday, so he and Jongdae were spending less time together than usual.



There was a long moment of silence that stretched until Sori started feeling like she was losing her mind to the pressure she felt resting on her shoulders, the need to break the oppressing silence and get started with the topic the were going to face one way or another. At least that way they could get over it.



“Did you-”, she chocked a little on her saliva, so she took a moment to swallow and re-formulate the question. “Did you think about what I told you?”. Jin was currently looking at anything but her, hence there was no way for Sori to try and interpret his expression.



“Sure I did, Riri”, he muttered after a moment. It was weird for Sori to hear her old nickname after such a long time. It brought back some memories too.



“You all keep telling me you acted out because you were jealous, but what am I supposed to do if you are the one causing the problem? It was you who had to work out how to stop being jealous, instead you all expected me to cater after you all like it was my job to keep you happy. I only tried to make some room for me in a society in which I can only be a useless for the great majority of the people”. Jin shuddered for a moment and the a small winch could be seen as he heard Sori's last words, but what had to be said had to be said. They were all old enough to face the truth, and if she , who was a victim of the system, could face it, then so could the others.



“Come on, I never said you had to do something to keep me – us – happy, I'm just trying to convey what's been on my mind lately”, he shook his head, “And don't talk like that, you know I don't like it”. Eh, like hearing her say the dirty truth was scandalous for whatever reason.



“No, but you sort of implied it. If you were acting out because you were jealous then who's fault is it? Mine”, Sori's tone spiked a little when she replied to her rhetoric question, then she proceeded to make her point before she reached a boiling point and started just yelling whatever crossed her mind. Lately her patience had been quite scarce and she had noticed she tended to lose her patience more easily then ever before in her life. “And you might not like it, but it is what it is, like it or not”.



For a moment she waited for Jin to come back with some other unoriginal reply, but then she realized he was slowly counting under his breath. Once he reached the zero he took a deep breath and turned to face her again.



“Okay, look, let's calm down. I didn't come here today to fight with you again. I came here to talk with you like adults, because I do regret various choices of mine, and I do recognize I could have acted differently several times. Would have that spared you all these problems? I don't know, but you told me to think about you words and I did”, he took another deep breath and finally added, “If you could give me some of your time and attention, I would like to hear what you have to say about my personal reflections of these past days”. Well, now Sori didn't know what to answer. She wanted to be mad and to let out her temper, but if he acted all mature she couldn't do that, otherwise she was just going to look like a dumb . Not to mention that fighting on your own isn't funny, because you have no reason to come up with good come backs if nobody gives you back as good as you give. Now she had to think of an answer quickly.



Seokjin took his time to study Sori's reaction to his words, and also to wait for any sort of acknowledgment, which obviously didn't come since Sori was lost in her own thoughts. It was a long silence that followed Jin's speech, but then Sori agreed pathetically. If he had something to say and he felt like he needed Sori to hear it, as long as he didn't piss her off again, then she was going to lend him a ear.



“Fine, but don't make me lose my patience. Think your words through, because I've changed, Seokjin, and I won't listen to a whole list of bull like it matters to me, okay? Be serious for once”, she warned him.



He took a moment to collect his thoughts and then he started. “First of all, I would like to apologize for having turned a blind eye to many difficult and unpleasant things you experienced in our pack. Back then I believed that somehow things would fix themselves as time passed, but later on I realized nothing was going to fix itself on its own and that waiting like that only created a thick of tangle of misunderstandings. When I decided to step in, and I did, believe me, it did little to help you feel less lonely and excluded. It was clearly too late and I regret not stepping up earlier for you. I never thought those words would hurt you that deeply, because somehow I was certain you knew we all cared about it in the pack, and... I'm sorry about that. I could have done so much better than that, and maybe everything would have been different without even having to try that hard. Sometimes even a single word can do great things and I should have said it. As the eldest of the pack, I know I could do more to steer the youngest members of the pack in the right direction”. Sori just... listened. There was nothing she really wanted to add, no comment to make, nothing she really felt like saying. At this point she was just going to hear what he had to say and decide how to act from there. She didn't even raise her head to meet his eyes. She didn't want to risk giving away any of her thoughts.



“And, on this topic, I would like to apologize for a similar wrong behavior of mine about something you see as extremely personal, although to this day I find difficult to bring up. That is your relationship with Jungkook”, at those words Sori almost jumped on her chair. That was definitely not a topic she wanted to breech with anyone. She had more or less discussed it with Narae and Baekhyun, she had very carefully mentioned it with Hoseok and that was as far as she was willing to talk about. Now, for the way she knew Jin, Sori knew he was going to dig deeper, deeper than she was comfortable with – with anyone at this point in her life, and he was not going to apologize for it. He liked to be quiet and mind his own business, but when he was forced to take part in a discussion Seokjin preferred to be sincere. Painfully so at times. And Sori knew it.



“Yes, so, uhm, this is quite uncomfortable for me to say, but when you first joined the pack we knew your relationship with him was going to be... difficult, let's say. Leaving aside the fact that you have similar personalities, you are very different on every other aspect of your lives. From the background to everything else. And I don't know if you see the similarities you share, but from an outsider's point of view, it's clearly there: you both are quite fragile, you often need reassurance, you don't ask for help, you don't express emotions, you're introverts and you're quite immature at times. You like to do small things for those you care about and you don't expect to be thanked for it. The both of you can keep secrets and you can give great advices. I could add more to the list, but I hope you got my point”, Seokjin glanced in Sori's direction for a moment, just to see if he could grasp her reaction to his words, and instead he got nothing. Sori was as expressionless and still as a statue.



Well, that was new. In fact, Sori had realized those characteristics in Jungkook, but somehow she had never related them to herself. How had she missed theese sides of their personalities they shared when she had spent so much time over-analyzing every single thing Jungkook did and said around her?



“Moving on, I meant to say that from the moment you entered the pack I was afraid something negative was going to happen between the two of you and I was scared it was going to ruin the balance we had just found after having accepted Narae in the pack. Though you might not believe it, it took a while for Narae to settle in and learn how to cope with everything that went on in the house”. That was not surprising for Sori. Narae had grown up as an only child in a rich family, and she never had to do anything around the house. Basically every single need of hers was fulfilled the moment she opened to express a desire. It wasn't hard for Sori to imagine she had a hard time in fitting in with a group of boys who also expected her to lift her own weight in the house, which didn't mean Namjoon let her down in any of her requests, but it was still different fro

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I deleted the author note, it wasn't important to the story, I was just letting you all know why I hadn't posted anything new in a while :)


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AiiSoo #1
Chapter 35: I really really hope that Sori won’t return to BTS. Not with the current mindset that Jungkook has and even Namjoon too. I was really pissed that Namjoon tried to like give Minyoung a chance and had like a benefit of doubt that she could change. Not in a million years that that could happen. Even Jungkook himself that had stayed in the pack for years still kept the same learning from his previous pack, why would Minyoung changed hers in a matter of months. Although fortunately Minyoung kept true to her personality and getting kicked out in the end. At this point, I can see that Namjoon is not fond of confrontation and he is bad at it too. Not that everyone is fond of confrontation, but Namjoon tried to avoid it so much that the action hurts his pack. He almost did it again when he tried to talk to Minyoung in early of this chapter though.
I think this is a new information, or maybe I forgot about it entirely; Minyoung knew about Sori’s pregnancy way before Sori herself knows?! Was this mentioned before? That girl is just pure evil. But with her gone, BTS and EXO has to be ready if she get together with the enemy and attack both packs. If before, Minyoung hates Sori because she is a turned-were, now, she just basically hates Sori.
Thank you for this update..!
Chapter 35: About time already. But from her reaction being kicked, I could sense she’s about to plot something evil in her head.
Chapter 34: It's good that Jungkook tried to bring himself to finally get the helps he really needed. It's the first step.
AiiSoo #4
Chapter 34: It was nice to know what happened to the BTS pack after Sori left. And to know Jim’s thought and his point of view in some of the matters when Sori was with them. But knowing about it made me angrier to the pack. And maybe Sori too. At least now she won’t be so oblivious anymore or making her assumptions that the pack didn’t see what actually happened between the members. In Jin’s case, he decided to turn blind eye in a lot of cases. But his honesty was definitely appreciated. Quite refreshing to read too.
Jungkook has taken the first step in getting better although he was still in denial himself. The woman is a psychiatrist and trained. So it would dumb do him to believe that she won’t detect his lies if he decided to do so.
I hope all goes well for both Sori and Jungkook.
Thank you for this update..!
Chapter 34: I was so happy to read this update!
hope Sori and Jungkook will have their happy ending ♡
also every chapter you write is amazing, you put thought in every detail and it's really amazing in my opinion.
take care and hope to read more updates soon :)
Chapter 34: I love it!! I like that Jin and Sori got to talk as well. I can understand it’s going to take time to build back the friendships they’ve lost with her, but I’m so excited for her and Jungkook to meet again, he’s really trying and I like that you’ve focus on how his part is going on. Thank you for the UPDATE!! So excited so so excited every time I see an update from you!
july-pupetta #7
Chapter 33: Hi, how are you? Thank you so much for the chapter! I am always happy reading this story!!! I'm glad sori is bringing out her personality and saying how she really feels, it's okay for others to understand how her feelings. I'm also very glad that Namjoon is trying to find a way to improve the situation in the group and encourage a healthier and more cohesive environment. I am happy they are noticing how Minyoug has worsened relations within the group with her prejudices and treatment of Sori. It is good the others are trying to reconnect with Sori and are taking their time to understand her and give her space.
Thank you so much for the update and I am looking forward to your next chapter! <3
Chapter 33: She's starting to stand for herself and I liked it. Thank God Namjoon has decided to do something about Minyoung. It just had to be done.
Chapter 33: I was waiting for this update :)
I really loved how Sori stood up for herself with Jin and Yoongi.
hope you're feeling better ^__^
AiiSoo #10
Chapter 33: I like that Sori was determined on what she wanted. It’s up to her ex-packmates to adhere to what she wanted or just forget about bonding again, even as friends. I guess she was so sick and tired of all the previous dramas and just wanted to settle down with her baby.
Well, good for her.
Thank you for this update..! I hope you are feeling better than before though