Chapter 10
The Real Beauty“Soooriiiiiii, look at this!”. Baekhyun’s childish yell could be heard all the way to the town probably. Although Sori had only known him for five day, it felt like years already. The guy was very charming, and Sori couldn’t help but be fascinated by how different his personality was from hers. He somehow always managed to make her laugh.
Junmyeon was sitting next to her on the shore of the small lake. The three of them had made it an habit to meet there early in the morning ever since the previous week. They were like a breath of fresh air for Sori.
The tension in the house was too though to bear for Sori, who never liked conflicts in the first place. She knew she only had to forgive Jungkook and that tension would go away, but she didn’t want to give in to the pull she felt towards him. Whenever they were in the same room, his eyes would never leave her. He looked away blushing whenever she caught him staring, but he eventually turned to her again and it often seemed like he was trying to tell her something with his eyes. Unfortunately, telepathy was never a skill Sori developed, so she just ignored him and turned away.
She felt the splitting need to both forgive him and ignore him. She felt like her body really wanted to cave in and take him in her arms again, but her brain was completely opposed to that idea. She wanted him, but she also wanted him to suffer. In the end, to Sori it seemed right to just wait until one of the two would overcome the other to decide how to act from there.
“What are you thinking about?”, Junmyeon asked her. As he glanced down to look at Sori his eyelashes brushed against his skin. At times Sori found herself thinking he looked like an angel with all bright light of the day illuminating him. Maybe it was because of the peaceful atmosphere at the pond, but he totally looked like some kind of fairy. Sori was embarrassed by her own thoughts, but she often compared him to all those pictures of old Greek or Roman warriors that were in her school books, after all she had seen his body, and he had nothing to envy to those statues. Not to mention that Junmyeon was the ideal man to fall for: handsome, nice, wise, well-built, generous and caring. The fact that he was really rich only weighed more on the positive aspect of falling for him. How easy would it be to fall for him? Sori felt her cheeks warming up. She blushed whenever this kind of thoughts popped up in her mind, because it always made her feel like some desperate puny girl. As if anyone would be okay for her as long as they were rich.
“Nothing much, really, it’s just that I’ll have to go back sooner today, because Block B pack is coming to train with us, and Namjoon wants us to get to know the other guys before getting started”. She hugged her legs to her chest and put her chin on her knees.
“Oh, right, Namjoon told me about this. We’re starting the training with Block B soon too, although I think for us it will be a little different since we're all quite old and some of us were trained to fight ever since they were little children”. Junmyeon took a moment to observe Sori's expression, then he asked her: “Do you not want to learn to fight?”. His gentle smile was something Sori cherished and it never failed to bring a smile to her own lips. Junmyeon was always very respectful and that was something that always caught Sori's attention. And positively so.
“Mmm, no, I’m actually curious about the training and how I’ll do, but in comparison with the others I’ll just look pathetic”, she sighed. Her eyes met Junmyeon’s and she stopped him with her hand. “I know, I know, I’m just a normal wolf, I get it, but I’m still weaker than the other, Jun, no matter what we like to think. It’s a fact. Moreover, I know what these Block B guys think of me, and I don’t want to embarrass Namjoon with my presence, but since Jiho already knows me… I’m considering hiding until the training will end, but then Namjoon and Narae will be disappointed”, she sighed again.
“You know, the more I get to know you, the more I think Namjoon would be all but embarrassed by your presence during the training. Actually, I think you're the one he would like to see there the most. I don’t mean this as an offence, you know it, but you’re actually the less strong wolf in his pack, and I’m sure he’s often worried about you not knowing how to properly defend yourself”. His smile was dashing. “And talking about this, I don’t think he ever thought of you as a shame for his name or his pack, no matter how many times you tell me he doesn't like you being there. Sure, Namjoon may be stern, an annoying know-it-all, overprotective and whatever else you want, but I’m sure he never judged you for who you are, Sori”. His hands were now holding hers as he let her know his opinions on the matter.
“Ya, are you even listening to what I’m saying?”, Baekhyun’s overly annoyed voice resonated in the small opening in the woods. Sori and Junmyeon chuckled guiltily at his antics and at his tiny pout. By now Sori had understood Baekhyun’s personality, and she knew he liked acting like an overgrown baby, and he also needed just as much attention to be paid to him, and when he believed he didn’t get all the attention he deserved, he’d start pouting and whining like a real baby. Thankfully it had only happened a couple of times so far, but Sori was sure it was more than enough for the rest of her life.
She kept them company for another half an hour and then stood up, ready to go have lunch with the others and meet Block B pack.
“You’re ready to go?”, Junmyeon smiled at her. “Give all you have in the training!”
“Mmm, yeah, and you better tell us if there’s someone interesting in the other pack”, Baekhyun recommended Sori.
“I doubt any of them will pay me attention, so I won’t know who’s interesting or not”, she chuckled, “and how do I fight well if they’re all stronger than me? I bet Namjoon or Narae will insist to pair up with me and they’ll let me win to make me feel better about myself”, Sori told them, a bit resigned to her fate.
“You know what? I think you think too lowly of yourself and take it for granted that the other think about you in the same way you do. I never once thought about you in a different light because you’re a turned-wolf, but I keep hearing you say you’re different”, Baekhyun told her seriously. “Stop doing that”.
“I agree. You should stop considering yourself that way. You can do whatever you want and you know nobody’s stopping you. Moreover, knowing Namjoon, I think he’ll be tempted by the idea of pairing up with you for the training, because that way he’ll be able to protect you, but I’m pretty sure he won’t actually do that. He’ll probably let you fight your battle and learn from it”, Junmyeon added gently.
“But if he does I’ll obviously lose, and his reputation will be damaged. It’s better if I lay low and train with Narae instead”
“I already told you to stop thinking about yourself in this terms, didn't I?”, Baekhyun told her in a somewhat diva-ish and annoyed way, but he was still smiling warmly, though. “Take me as an example: I’m one of the smallest wolves in our pack and surely I’m not the strongest, but I won many battles. Minseok has no rivals when it comes to strength, Kyungsoo is the second best fighter in our pack and Chen is the best planner of the pack. We’re all small wolves, right? Use your body to your advantage, and use your brain whenever you can’t overcome your rivals’ strength!”. So far, Sori had never thought about things under that light, so she was a little awestruck.
For a moment she was left speechless as she took in the meaning of those words, then her phone dinged with the notification of the training, so she just waved at the two guys and made her way home while she was still focused on their words. While she was pretty sure there wasn't going to be a good outcome out of this training session, but perhaps if BTS ever got the chance to train with EXO she could ask them to teach her something basic! Maybe she could learn by observing their moves! For the first time in a while, Sori felt a sort of euphoria permeating her body. It good a good day after all: she had woken up feeling happy, she even wanted to sing, but what surprised her the most was that she ate a great amount of food and didn’t threw up afterwards! Today was a good day for Sori.
Feeling positive about the situation she was about to face, she picked up her pace and trotted towards home. The scent of Jin’s food could be smelt even in the middle of the woods. And then it struck her.
She was going to meet new people, and she was already disadvantaged because she wasn’t a born-were, but then it was going to be even worse than she had first thought, for she didn't look like a normal werewolf. Being a turned-were, Sori was softer and rounder than the rest of the members of the pack, and there was no denying people generally judged other people by their body shape. All the more when she was coming home late, right in time for lunch, and on top of that she had no knowledge of any fighting technique.
That was when she started to slow down, her happiness fading a bit. She knew Seokjin and Narae wouldn’t be happy if they were to discover she was thinking about skipping another meal without a reason they could consider acceptable. The image of their bright smiles in the morning, when they were eating together was making her feel guilty, but wouldn’t the others have a better impression of Namjoon if they thought they weren’t treating her as an equal? Maybe she could use that as an excuse? Would they believe it? Or maybe she could eat less then she normally would? Just so that they'd think Namjoon was still keeping her on her toes and making sure she was getting back in shape. Or maybe I am too obsessed with my body... Am I doing this because of Jungkook?
The moment those thought popped up in her mind, her paws stopped. Was she starving herself because she wanted to be thinner for him?
Sori whimpered. It was painful to admit even to herself, and she wouldn’t ever admit it in front of anybody else, but probably a part of it was to be blamed on Jungkook words. She let him get under her skin. She was being weak once again. But then again… she had to admit that the biggest reason why she wasn’t eating that much was because she was feeling nauseous and she was scared she’d get one of those horrible crisis in which no matter where she was nor what she was doing, she had to sit down, close her eyes and take deep breaths while praying her nausea would go away soon. Skipping meals during the day was just something she did when she was in the woods, just to avoid Jungkook, but when she was in town, she ate at least one meal a day.
“Yah, why are standing there like that? Jin wants you in the kitchen”. She was so lost in her thoughts she almost pooped her pants when Yoongi yelled at her.
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