On the other hand, if he didn't have her, one of the only nice things in his life would be gone. Was he not trying hard enough? Was he being too selfish in forgetting about her and only thinking of himself? It was nice that she wanted to help him, but how could she when she had no idea what he was going through, even as she said, not able to understand.

At least she wasn't pretending.

Her honesty is what he liked most about her. He let out a sigh and concentrated on feeling the wind in his hair, the night was perfect. Except for this. The night was perfect.

"Hoseok?"

Slowly, he turned his head to acknowledge her.

What on earth was he supposed to do?

Hoseok tried to push the lump that had risen in his throat back down to wherever it came from, but it refused to go. His fingers dug into his skin as he scrunched the fabric even harder. This wasn't how he was supposed to be, and he never expected Rose to be like this. He didn't want to be vulnerable when facing her - he wanted to be strong, but for some reason he just couldn't. Something was eating away at him and he didn't know what was wrong with himself. He just wanted to stop feeling like that, he didn't want to keep going if the only thing that was waiting for him were days filled with feeling like the scum of the Earth and inner voices telling him no one cared.

Finding the courage, he slowly turned around to face her, but was unable to raise his eyes up to meet hers.

"I just..." he began, his voice already wavering.

Rose stepped forward, but didn't go any closer in case he didn't want her to.

"I've been dealing with depression for a long time. Most of the time it's okay, but recently it's been bad. I don't know how to describe it... I don't even know why I'm here. Why was I brought into this world?" he asked, his wet eyes seeing a blurry outline of his girlfriend.

Rose stared at him for a moment, wondering how the hell she was supposed to answer that. It wasn't something she had ever thought of before.

"Because you're a dazzling star."

Hoseok gave her an incredulous look.

"I would never have guessed that you were going through this." she continued. "Because you've always been the brightest person I know. You're really good at cheering me up, and everyone else says they feel better when you're around. But you're not here to please or benefit other people, unless you find that is your passion. And if you don't have one, then we can find one together. I'll help you. We can go through everything until you find something you love. Something that makes you want to keep on going."

Rose smiled, but Hoseok could see her heart breaking.

It wasn't her.

She wasn't going to be the thing that made him want to run on.

She could at least help him to find the thing that he did want. She could do that much for him.

"Even if I find something, I don't know if these feelings will stay away..."

"Which feelings?" Rose asked.

"...Hopeless, worthless, useless..."

"Hey!" she shot back. "Who said those things? Who let you believe that?"

"I guess that's not how other parents talk to their kids, huh."

Rose frowned. Finding her strength, she marched forward and threw her arms around Hoseok, burying her head in his neck, clinging to him tightly. Slowly, his arms wrapped around her, his grip a little too strong. Somewhere in his heart, a warm spot was growing. She was still there. He hadn't scared her off at all despite him being messed up. Was there something wrong with her, too? What kind of person would want to stick around after hearing that?

"You're the most important person to me." she croaked.

Hoseok frowned as he held her close. Was she crying?

"I'm not going anywhere. You're not the only one going through this, but you're the only one who feels that way about you. Please know that you are loved by many people around you, especially by me. I don't understand what you're going through, but I will do whatever you want me to do to help. Just tell me whatever you need."

Some hours later, Rose pulled a blanket over Hoseok as he slept on the sofa and looked at his peaceful face. He'd always had such smooth skin. It had been a tough day for him. He had never admitted to anyone what he was going through and the whole ordeal had taken it out of him. He felt most relieved that Rose hadn't turned her back on him, like a small bit of weight had been lifted off.

Standing up, she went to the kitchen and began searching around for trash bags, eventually finding some under the sink. She quietly opened and closed the cupboards, looking for anything that might not help his depression when it hit badly. She had tried to do some research, but figured it was best to base it on Hoseok and his tendencies. Any alcohol she could find was thrown in the trash, any unnecessary medicines... things like that. After some time, she tied up the trash bag and left it by the door, reminding herself to take it out when she left. She ought to wait for him to wake up before going - she didn't want to leave him alone like that.

Exhaustion now sweeping over her, she lay down on the floor and looked up at Hoseok's face. Was this going to be a regular thing in their relationship? She could handle it, no problem. She hoped. Whatever would happen, she decided to always try her best to do right by him. She knew she could always talk to him about her problems, too, and she wondered if that helped distract him from his own.

Probably. 

It would be so easy to just break up and find someone who didn't have any issues.

But she didn't want anyone else, only Hoseok, exactly as he was.