The 3 of us came back with tons of food in our hands. Taemin was holding rice while Key was holding the kimchi soup and I was holding... Onew's... favorite, fried chicken. We placed it all on the table in front of Minho whose eyes sparkled at the sight of food that wasn't made by the hospital. He quickly reached for one but I slapped his hand away and gave him a glare. He pouted and looked helplessly as the rest enjoyed their meal but I also noticed that Jong Hyun wasn't eating at all. He sat near the window and stared out of it. I looked at him with concern. Oppa, what is wrong with you? Why don't you talk to me, or even look at me? Did I do something to upset you? My mind started to wonder off to the time when Jong Hyun oppa kissed me. You can't love more than one person at the same time, it you do... that's not real love. Taemin's voice seem to echoed in my head.

"... right, noona?" I looked towards Taemin, who was smiling at me.

"Deh. I... um, I need to... um, get some fresh air. Arrassuh." I said without waiting for an answer and I just left the room, I could hear Taemin and Key calling after me but I ignored them.

I just need time to think.

Think about what exactly?

About... a-about...

Whether you really love Minho or Jong Hyun? Whether Minho will get better? What happens if he doesn't? What happens then?

Shut up! Shut up! You stupid head, my head is already confused as it is... I don't need my heart to be in that position too. Just stop.

Why? Can't take the pressure? No worries, even if you manage to choose... would you regret it? Would you? I mean Minho loves you, yet you can't really love him back with a true heart, without feeling confused about your feelings toward Jong Hyun.

"I SAID SHUT UP!!!" I screamed, falling to the ground while I had my hands over my ears and my eyes shut tight. Why do you love? Why do people love? Do you know the answer?

Pabo. The answer is simple, you just can't understand it because you don't really understand love. I let out a sigh and removed my hands from my ears. I opened my eyes and realized that I was on the balcony on the same floor as Minho oppa's room. I looked up into the dark blue sky and inhaled the fresh air...

"Why am I so confuse? I'm with Minho oppa but at the same time I have feelings towards Jong Hyun oppa. Why? Why can't I remember?! I just wished that someone could just take all my feelings and lock them in a chest and throw it at the bottom of the sea so that I won't find it. That way, I can't feel... anything. That way, I won't hurt or get hurt by anyone." I sigh and looked down at my fingers.

After playing with my fingers for a while, I decided to return to the room because it was getting cold and I was freezing to death. I hugged myself as I made my way back inside the hospital and passed a few nurses. The moment I opened the door, Taemin lounged at me. I almost fell backwards but luckily I regained my balance.

"Noona! Please don't ever walk out like that without waiting for me. We looked all over for you but we couldn't find you." I held Taemin's shoulder and pushed him away from me so that I could see his face.

"What are you talking about Taem, I was right outside on the balcony. Didn't you see me?" he shook his head

"Jong Hyun was suppose to search this floor. I guess he missed that part." I felt my hands trembling but I tried to hide it. Did Jong Hyun oppa... hear me? Aish! Can't be possible, if anyone approached... I surely would have heard it. Where is he anyway? I asked noticing that he isn't in the room.

"Where is he?" everyone looked around and realized it too. Onew started to panic.

"Omo! Jong Hyun where are you? Were you kidnapped? You could have at least called us, why Jong Hyun... WHY!!!!???"

"Why what? Why are you screaming?" a voice said, everyone's attention went to the door. Jong Hyun stood there with a confused expression on his face. Onew cleared his throat. "You miss me already?" Jong Hyun joked

"Aniyo... I was just afraid that if anything happened to you, I won't be able to have dubu chicken for dinner tonight." Onew replied and turned away

"Hyung." Taemin sounded mad. I stood awkwardly in between them "Did you go see Se Kyung noona again?" when Taemin said her name, I felt like someone grip my heart.

"What if I did?" Taemin wanted to lounge at Jong Hyun but I stopped him.

"Come on Taemin-ah. Let's go for a walk." I suggested and took his hand.

"Ani noona. I want to know his true feelings." Taemin said letting go of my hand. I sigh.

"Taemin-ah look at me. It doesn't matter how he feels, it's he's heart. Whether it's her or not it's up to him. Don't get the wrong idea, Taemin-ah. Jong Hyun oppa and I are just... friends. Nothing could ever happen between us..." when I said that, I felt a sudden pain. It hurts so much just saying those words... Mianhe Jong Hyun oppa, but... no one can love 2 person at once, that's not true love.

JONG HYUN'S POV

"I just can't stay in the same room as Minho. It's just too awkward think about it too. He keeps watching me, why is he doing that? Aish. He was suppose to just keep his eyes on Hana." Hana... her lips.... AISH! Why is it so confusing? Seriously, aish. "Fresh air is what I need..." suddenly my phone rang, I answered it... hoping that it wasn't the group. It wasn't.

"Oppa. Where are you? Want to get lunch?" It was Se Kyung.

"Mianhe, I can't. My friend is in the hospital and I am visiting him."

"Jeongmal? Who is he? Can I come and visit?"

"Ani. I got to go." I said but before she could reply, I hung up.

I am the most greatest ninja, ani... I use to be the greatest ninja. Now I am just Kim Jong Hyun, the main vocalist of Shinee. What happened to me? I use to be so confident in what I do until... until I met you. Kim Ha Na.

"I should probably get back now, I'm sure Onew is hungry." I smiled to myself at the thought of that. I made my way back into Minho's room... from outside the door I heard them making a big fuss about something...

"Yah, Jinjja. Aish. I want to eat Dubu chicken..." at that moment, I entered the room.

"What the heck is Dubu chicken? Has Onew hyung lost it?" I asked and they all laughed. I wasn't joking, I'm dead serious...

"... but hyung... There is no such thing as a dubu chicken." Taemin said

"There is. It's all the way on the other side of the Han river. Could you go and buy it for me, Hana dong saeng?" Onew showed a pouting face.

"I...-"

"... or... how about we get that for dinner, you and Jong Hyun will go, arrassuh. While Key and Taemin will get lunch cause I am dead hungry right now." Onew suggested. Key, Taemin and Hana agreed but I didn't. I'll have to do it anyway... "Yah! Bling bling Jong hyun, are you even listening?" Onew hyung shouted at me

"Deeehhh. I heard you. Aish! You and your chicken. Seriously, when you get married to someone who loves chicken as much as you do, please remind me not to stick around for too long. I might get the craziness." I replied, again they laughed. Seriously what is so funny?

"Whatever Jong Hyun. Just... shut up and join the game. Where have you been anyways?" Onew hyung asked. I noticed that Hana heard...

"I was... busy with something." I lied. I wasn't even busy at all...

"Hyung, did you meet up with Shin Se kyung noona? Wae?! Wae hyung?! I thought you liked Hana Noona?" Taemin started to get emotional all of a sudden. I stared at him in surprise. He's upset because... he thought I liked Hana but hangs out with Se Kyung instead? Ais, Taem... if you knew how I felt, you won't be upset with me. I like Hana and no one else.

 "Do you want banana milk?" Hana asked him, he nodded and sniffled "Don't cry. It's okay if Jong hyun oppa likes someone else Taemin. You can't force someone into liking you, arrassuh?" she explained to Taem, then she stood up than pulled him along. "Say sorry to Jong Hyun oppa, then I will get you your banana milk." Taemin looked up from the ground to me and apologized. Don't be Taem, I am useless... no being able to tell her how I feel. I sigh but before she could let me reply, she was already pulling Taemin out the door.

After they left, I went to take another walk. I seem to be taking a lot of walks and doing a lot of talking to myself lately. What is going on with you Jong Hyun. Where's the awesome ninja? I looked at my watch and was surprise at how late it got. I should probably head back now, if not they will start asking me a lot of question. I sat quietly by the window and stared out of it. Why is forgetting you so hard? Aish, Hana-ah... why are you making me so confuse, why can't I love someone else but you...

"... right, noona?" I turned to look at them

"Deh. I... um, I need to... um, get some fresh air. Arrassuh."she said and left. Key and Taem called after her but she didn't bother stopping. What's gotten into her?

"Minho, do you know what is wrong with Hana, she seem distant now a days..." Key asked

"Same goes for Jong Hyun... what's wrong with those two?" Onew asked being the caring leader.

"I don't know guys, but whatever it is, they will be able to work it out themselves so don't interfer, let them be. Arrassuh?" Minho said not bothered if I heard it or not. I stood up and left the room. How can we work this out ourselves when you are the missing piece of the puzzle? Aish, Minho. Must everything be about you, all the time?  Suddenly the thought of Sang Hee came into my mind. (If you read my other fic about beast, sang hee is the main character. Their path crossed before.) Maybe this crush would last like that, I mean I did move on after finding out that she loved Dong Woon, I'm probably like Gi Kwang. Loving someone who could never love you back. I am getting tired of waiting but even if I go crazy, With the faith that i will have you, I will endure it.
 

Although I try to forget you, a life without you is like beethoven without music, a completely jammed autobahn. Although, i try to erase you, a life without you is like Picasso that quits painting, a magic with the trick figured out... like our song... love still goes on. As always, my heart is the same, I still left my shoulder open for you. My heart that you're clenching is yours alone, it's still beating for you.

(Shinee's Ring Ding Dong playing) I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard my phone rang. I took it out of my pocket and answered it not bothered to look at the caller ID.

"Yoboseyo?"

"Hyung. Noona is missing. She's not back yet and I think she's in trouble..." Taem was shouting over the phone. I had to keep the phone in a distant from my ear.

"Calm down Taem, I'm sure...-"

"Don't tell me to calm down!!!" he shouted over the phone. Then it felt like someone was taking the phone away from him

"Hyung, could you just help us look for her? We're going to split up. Where are you now?" Key asked me with a calm tone

"I'm upstairs." I lied

"Good. Look around that floor. We'll look else where."

"Wait, where are you guys?"

"I'm with Taem heading back to the hospital now. Onew is with Minho... go look for her. Now." Key shouted and hung up

"Shesh, don't have to shout." I shouted at the phone even though I knew he couldn't hear me. Wait. Did they say Hana is missing? Without thinking any further, I ran back inside the hospital and on Minho's floor, I searched everywhere. From one end of the corridor to the other, no sign of her. I was walking back to Minho's room when I heard someone shout, telling someone else to shut up. I thought it was a fight so I peeked out the door looking at the balcony, I saw only one person. A girl... wait... isn't that...

 She fell to the ground while she had her hands over her ears and my eyes shut tight. Hana-ah, please don't be like that. What's wrong with you? I let out a sigh. It hurts me seeing you with him, but it hurts even more seeing you unhappy. Mianhe Hana-ah. I saw her looked up into the dark blue sky and inhaled the fresh air...

"Why am I so confuse? I'm with Minho oppa but at the same time I have feelings towards Jong Hyun oppa. Why? Why can't I remember?! I just wished that someone could just take all my feelings and lock them in a chest and throw it at the bottom of the sea so that I won't find it. That way, I can't feel... anything. That way, I won't hurt or get hurt by anyone." My eyes widened in shock, did I just hear wrongly or did she say... she has feelings for me? I tried to listen somemore but she wasn't thinking out loud anymore. I wanted to hear the rest... I should probably pretend that I didn't see her. Deh, I'll use the longer way so that I won't bump into anyone. Reaching the room...

"... why Jong Hyun... WHY!!!!???" I heard Onew hyung shout.

"Why what? Why are you screaming?" I stood there with a confused expression on my face. Onew cleared his throat. "You miss me already?" Jong Hyun joked

"Aniyo... I was just afraid that if anything happened to you, I won't be able to have dubu chicken for dinner tonight." Onew replied and turned away

"Hyung." Taemin sounded mad. Hana stood in between us btu I didn't look at her "Did you go see Se Kyung noona again?"

"What if I did?" I teased Taemin, I could see that he wanted to lounge at me but Hana stopped him.

"Come on Taemin-ah. Let's go for a walk." she said and took his hand. I felt something pierce through my heart.

"Ani noona. I want to know his true feelings." Taemin said letting go of her hand. Better. I felt myself smirk a little.

"Taemin-ah look at me. It doesn't matter how he feels, it's he's heart. Whether it's her or not it's up to him. Don't get the wrong idea, Taemin-ah. Jong Hyun oppa and I are just... friends. Nothing could ever happen between us..." when she said that, my eyes widened in shock and my heart felt like it was frozen at that spot. Just friends... nothing could ever happen between us... do you believe what you are saying Hana? or are you trying to hide the truth with a lie?

updated. WOW! this a long chapie. Hope you like it. :) I sense some tense moment in the atmosphere. Please comment. :) Gamsahamnida.