Group chat: we are one (1)

Vivi’s dad: so i was thinking…

Mother: since when can you do that?

Vivi’s dad: aNYWAYS as I was saying I’ve been thinking what if we are just cosmic dust floating around through this endless galaxy with no directions or a destination looking for something we will never achieve...

Old man: I’m too drunk for this. U deal with him @mother

Mother: ???

Vivi’s dad: what if all of us are looking for happiness and love only to figure it out at the end that we will never fully achieve them? what if we are eternally doomed to live the same life all over again until we feel like we achieved it and then die to do it all over again?

Mother: okay… what’s wrong?

Vivi’s dad: nothing is wrong. i’m just wasting my time on this giant planet all alone and unhappy. i was just thinking about life and death and our mission in this world…

Mother:  you??? thinking?? about mortality??? *narrows eyes*

Vivi’s dad: ok fine. chanyeol ate all of the cereal and im hungry.

Mother: …

Vivi’s dad: Hunger has taken over my senses and all I feel is the eternal emptiness in me that’d never be filled.

Mother:…..

Baekie: he just wants u to buy him food lol

Vivi’s dad: me??? manipulating joonmyeon??? WOW… how could u… i’ve never been more insulted in my entire purposeless existence. Money can never fulfill the needs I have. No material object can relieve the emotional burden I carry every day

Baekie:…

Mother:  Im heading out to the store. Are you sure you don’t want anything?

Vivi’s dad: ….well… maybe take out and a pie would give me strength to win the inner war

Baekie: brat lol

Vivi’s dad: says the one who pretended to have twisted his foot so he wouldn’t have to turn off his game and help joon with the dinner. If i remember correctly, which i DO, you even made joon give you a massage

Mother: he did WHAT now????!!!!!

Baekie: ….gtg. I love you Joonie, you know that right? (｡♥‿♥｡)(｡♥‿♥｡)(｡♥‿♥｡)

Mother: ive never felt more used....

XXX

Bunny: Hey guys! Have you seen my umbrella? I can’t find it anywhere (∩︵∩)

Baekie: i took it sorry (๑◕︵◕๑)(๑◕︵◕๑)(๑◕︵◕๑)

Bunny: Don’t be sorry Baekhyunie!!!! Take it anytime you want!! Stay dry!!! The rain is so heavy today. Did you wear your coat?

Baekie: no i forgot (๑◕︵◕๑)

Bunny: Baekie!! *sigh* Fine I'll give it to you on my way to work. Are you still at the uni?

Baekie: yes. thanks ge!!!! I love you!!!! ლζ*♡ε♡*ζლ

Bunny: I love you too (๑♡3♡๑)

Vivi’s dad: are you seeing this @dae?

Dae: wish i wasn’t

Bunny: We are just being affectionate! You know I only have eyes for you!!

Dae: then maybe stop flirting with that him 24/7???!!!! (ง •̀_•́)ง

Dae changed Baekie’s name to HO

Ho: tHeN mAyBe sToP FlIrTiNg WiTh HiM 24/7

Dae: (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง

Bunny: Baby I’d never date Baekie you know that. I'm all yours!!!

Ho: never?? (｡•́︿•̀｡)

Bunny: Ok maybe if I wasn’t in love with Jongdae…

Dae:…

Dae: pain… betrayal… heartbreak…

Dae: u think you know someone…

Bunny: (๑♡3♡๑)

Vivi’s dad: @tol you are being too quiet.

Tol: ive accepted my faith long time ago. nothing can stand in between baekxing

Old man: baekxing?

Tol: baekhyun+yixing

Salt: wild

Bunny: you’re just jealous

Ho: you’re just jealous

Ho: oooooooooooh brooooo (●♡∀♡))ヾ☆*。(●♡∀♡))ヾ☆*。(●♡∀♡))ヾ☆*。(●♡∀♡))ヾ☆*。

Bunny: brooooo ლζ*♡ε♡*ζლ ლζ*♡ε♡*ζლ ლζ*♡ε♡*ζლ ლζ*♡ε♡*ζლ

Dae: bRO (ﾒ▼へ▼)ﾉ0=|⊃―

xxx

Private chat with kjd and dks

Ksoo: don’t take them too seriously. yixing really loves you. he never stops talking about you it’s both frustrating and cute.  + baek is a nice person (sometimes). you shouldn’t worry

Dae: i don’t lol. yixing loves me a lot and baek is one of my best friends. im not really jealous. we are just joking around

Ksoo: oh.. alright then

Dae: awwwwwwwwwwwww  you are such a sweetheart though!!! look at you getting worried for us <3333 you are the nicest in the bunch (not counting yixing, b/c no one can compare) but still…

Dae: Im telling everyone to stop calling you deadsoo

Ksoo: i didn’t spend years creating reputation for you to ruin it. do that and you’ll never eat my food again

Dae: fine (︶︹︺)

Ksoo: good.

xxx

Old man: guess WHAT happened today?

Ho: u finally retired??

Old man kicked Ho out of the group chat

Old man: guess who’s NOT gonna hear how joon embarrassed himself in front of a hot guy today

Tol added Ho to the group chat

Tol: sorry hyung but he bargains well

Salt: threatened not to have with you??

Tol: yeah

Old man: hello yes I was talking

Vivi’s dad: guys you’re gonna love this listen to the old man

Mother: pls no…

Old Man: okay so as you guys might know our own sehun recently joined the football team and joon being joon had to visit to see how sehun was doing

Mother: pls hyung ill do anything

Dae: I’ll do anything+2 if you tell

Mother: was i a bad mother for you jongdae?

Dae: 1) u are not my real mum, 2) if minseok is interested enough to bring it up then it must be really good

Bunny: agreed

Dae: (´∀｀)♡

Mother: not you too my pure child!!!

Old man: AS I was saying joon came to our practice today. at the end he came up to us to complement sehun’s footwork and suddenly our team captain minho came towards us to talk (read: flirt) with joonmyeon

Old man: so there is this tall, masculine, handsome guy with his guns and a smile that could rival the sun and there is joon pale, panicked-looking with a mouth so wide open i think he still has drool on his shirt

Mother: the sweat was running down his arms  WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO???

Salt: half (read: all) the uni is in love with him. he is tall, tan, handsome and very sweet.

Vivi’s dad: tall, tan, handsome and very sweet… Sounds like your type, doesn’t it?

Salt:…

Angel:…

Old man: WILL YOU LET ME FINISH??

Old man: so minho starts flirting with joon and says “sehun didn’t tell me he has such a good-looking acquaintance. who are you?”

Mother: oh no… the end is near…

Old man: and our self-proclaimed genius and the straight-a student just says “i’m sehun’s mum” with the most SERIOUS EXPRESSION EVER

Angel: LMFAO

Dae: IM FREAKING DYING OJMFBVDHFNV

Bunny: ROFL

Ho: HFDBGSDFJGNSFDK

Old man: THE POOR BOY LOOKED SO DISTURBED AND CONFUSED . YOU COULD LITERALLY SEE HIM WONDER IF JOON WAS SANE JHSFBVHFG

Tol: THIS IS TOO GOOD

Tol: Ksoo just choked on his drink while reading this hjbjdfgn

Ho: i’m getting this entire story tattooed on my

Mother: …

Mother: mY OWN family

xxx

Ho: hair: blue

      : out

      nut: busted

Bunny: …

Old man: can someone explain this???

Angel: Chanyeol just dyed his hair blue

Tol: hair: still black

       : still out

       nut: still busted

Ho: （´ω｀♡%）

Tol: (‘∀’●)♡

Old man: romance is dead. They murdered her.

xxx

Vivi’s dad: who wants to see vivi’s new photos? 

Seen by all

Vivi’s dad: I hate you all

xxx

Angel: he looked so good today I… that hair those eyes those lips!!!! damn I just want to cuddle him to death and cook for him, and pinch his cheeks and take him to family vacations and raise dogs with him!!!! He makes my heart go ?!?!?!?! I’M GONNA DIE SEHUNNIE

Mother: you are so pure none of us is worthy omg..

Angel: Oh Joonmyeon… i meant to send this to Sehun. Sorry must have mixed the chats.

Mother: i'm sure he’ll see this soon

AngeL: …Yeah after I send it to him

Dae: not the sharpest tool in the shed are we?

Angel: ?

Angel: !!!!!

Vivi’s dad: and at 10 o’clock we have local man write a sappy message about his crush in a groupchat where his said crush can see it and not realize it for 2 solid minutes

Old man: my fav show

Old man: jongin, u alive? Also @salt why are you not saying anything?

Salt: im usually quiet as you guys might have noticed

Salt: so... you have a crush, Jongin?

Tol: THE MOMENT WE ALL HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR

Ho: THE WAIT IS OVER

Angel: yeah

Salt: oh…

Salt: good for you

Bunny: this is tragic. Im so sad

Dae: U ES MADE MY PRECIOUS BABY CRY ILL END YOUR OBLIVIOUS ASSES JUST WAIT

Dae: @bunny they are young and stupid forget them. Wanna cuddle? Or bang and then cuddle?

Vivi’s dad: eW

Bunny: sounds good!!!

xxx

Private chat with dks and osh

Angry mom: so… who’s jongin’s crush?

Huge son: sorry, but it’s not my secret to tell

Angry mom: you’re right. sorry for asking

Huge son: (－ｏ⌒)

xxx

Bunny: How is the prettiest boy in the world? @dae

Dae: I don’t know. You tell me (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

Mother: ugh

Vivi’s dad: ugh

Old man: ugh

Ho: ugh with a dash of cute

Tol: ugh

Salt: ugh

Angel: I love you guys both but pls get a room and leave us be

Dae: are you still salty about the tall dude?

Salt: who made Jongin sad?

Vivi’s dad: *softly but with a lot of feeling* whipped

Ho: there was this tall guy flirting with his crush today and he is still pissed about it

Salt: oh

Tol: btw on completely unrelated note who was that TALL guy talking to you today?

Salt: Kris? He’s a transfer student. I was just showing him around

Ho: He is VERY TALL isn’t he?

Salt: yeah sure. had to look up the entire time. my neck is kinda sore.

Bunny:…

Old man:…

Old man: you really don’t see where is this going?

Salt: Oh!!!!!

Mother: FINALLY I CAN REST

Salt: Kris is the guy flirting with jonginie’s crush!

Bunny: *facepalm

Dae: *facepalm

Old man: *facepalm

Mother: *dramatic facepalm

Tol: *facepalm

Ho: *facepalm

Angel: …

Vivi’s dad: I crave deaTH

Ho: @god are you seeing this???