Seunghyun gave himself a few days; part of his ‘boundaries. A space that would keep him from skirting too close to an edge he only really sensed rather than saw. He emailed Youngbae a list of designers he thought would appeal to his aesthetic.

Youngbae opened the email and felt a small twinge of disappointment. He’d actually enjoyed “shopping” with Seunghyun and a part of him had hoped to do it again. The email detailing designers that might appeal to him felt a bit - cold. Youngbae read through it several times, feeling more unsettled with each pass. It was perfectly polite and yet - it was a tone thing but he couldn’t quite describe what it was about it that bothered him.

Disappointed, he closed his computer and decided he should spend the night in the studio. But his whole album was an exercise in frustration and he’d rather do anything else with his time. Still, obligations were obligations and he packed up and headed into work.

“Taeyang-Sshi,” the receptionist greeted him as he checked in. “The PR department was looking for you.”

“Me?” Youngbae asked. “Why?” He racked his brain trying to figure out why they would want him. There was no trouble that he could think of - and if were big trouble he’d be called to the CEO’s office, not PR. His album was nowhere near ready and-

“I don’t know they just sent down a note to send you up there when you checked in.”

“Oh-kay.” Youngbae texted Jiyong to let him know he’d be in late and diverted up to the administrative floor.

“Taeyang-Sshi,” the executive assistant for the head of PR greeted him. He tried to remember her name but he wasn’t sure they’d ever been introduced. She looked new. “Team Leader Noh has been waiting go on ahead.”

He made his way forward and knocked on the open door frame to Noh Eunhye-Sshi’s office.

“Oh, you’re here,” she said and she waved him in while ruffling through papers on her desk. “How are you settling in to your new house?” she asked as he sat in the large chair across from her.

“Oh - uh very well, thank you.” Youngbae’s brows furrowed as he tried to figure out what his new house had to do with anything.

“We understand Top-Sshi is helping you with the interior design.”

“Well, yeah,” Youngbae blinked. It hadn’t been a secret but he couldn’t remember having actually told anyone that Seunghyun had offered to help him with the house. Maybe Seunghyun had mentioned it.

“Vogue Korea has expressed some interest in doing a feature on the place, once you have it set up.”

“Ah.” A weight settled onto his chest. He remembered that he had mentioned it at his recent Vogue shoot with Jiyong. “I’m not sure.”

“It would be good for the company,” she said. “The CEO in particular, seemed to like the idea.”

“Yeah, they could, I mean.” Always the people pleaser, Youngbae couldn’t find it in himself to say no.

Hyung!!!, he texted as soon as he left her office. There was no answer by the time he arrived in the recording studio. Youngbae sighed. Sometimes Seunghyun was always there and sometimes - it was like the man didn’t know what technology was.

“Everything ok?” Jiyong asked when he finally settled into work in his favorite studio.

“Yeah, Vogue Korea wants to do a feature on my new house.” He tried for nonchalant and succeeded.

“Hey, man, that’s awesome!” Jiyong said. “Wait, I thought you weren’t even unpacked yet.”

“Yeah, I was stupid and mentioned the house at that shoot we did last week and-” It had just been an off-hand comment, a joke with the Vogue lady and now she was calling up to make good on his offer. “Seunghyun had better have good ideas,” he muttered to himself.

“Wow, Seunghyun’s helping you set up your place.” There was something in Jiyong’s tone that irritated Youngbae.

“Yeah, he offered,” Youngbae said, voice a little too casual. “Do you have that song you’d talked about?”

Youngbae fought to focus through their session. The song was good, he bopped his head to it appreciatively and he tried to be encouraging and positive when Jiyong looked at him expectantly. Really, it was good. He just couldn’t pay attention to it. All he could think about was the fact that he was going to be in Vogue, and it wasn’t a photoshoot or regular interview. It was a feature on his house, which was still swamped with boxes. He needed so much help.

“Ya, you ok? Distracted?” Jiyong asked as they were packing up. “You do like the song right?”

“Yeah, love it,” Youngbae said. He slumped his shoulders and actually looked at Jiyong. “It’s just the Vogue thing.”

Jiyong grimaced and there were thoughts behind his eyes Youngbae couldn’t quite parse. “Well, hyung will be helping you.”

“Yeah, that’ll be good.”

They walked in silence to the elevator and then looked up at the door in unison, watching the numbers count down. “You know I could help too, if you want,” Jiyong said softly, “I’m not Seunghyun, but-”

“Oh yeah, yeah I know,” Youngbae said a touch to fast. “Yeah that would be cool.”

“Anyways,” Jiyong said, stepping out of the elevator. “I’m glad you and Seunghyun are getting along. See ya, Bae.” Jiyong gave a little wave and sauntered off to the garage. Youngbae replayed their conversation but gave up trying to read all the layers. Relationships were complicated things.

Seunghyun had been expecting an easy night. Some wine, some music, maybe unwind a bit with some - then he opened his front door to Youngbae in a panic.

“Don’t you check your messages, hyung?” Youngbae asked, pushing past Seunghyun and shucking off his shoes, foregoing slippers.

Seunghyun followed him into the living room, not bothering to respond, blank face the only answer he needed.

“Yeah ok, I know, I know,” Youngbae said. Seunghyun was at best an absent landlord when it came to his phone. “Vogue wants to do a spread on my house.”

“Nice!” Seunghyun went to the kitchen for an extra glass.

“I just made a stupid comment and now Vogue wants to do a profile, what the heck!” Youngbae wasn’t hysterical, not quite, but there was definite panic.

“I dunno, this could be fun, good, whatever.” Seunghyun shoved a glass and Youngbae.

“I’m not a style icon, you know, I’m just a guy.” Youngbae drank in deep gulps. “You and Ji are the fashionable ones.”

“So don’t do it.” Seunghyun never understood why everyone seemed to have so much trouble saying no.

“I already agreed,” Youngbae said as he finished off his glass.

“Of course you did,” Seunghyun said as he poured another for Youngbae.

“Bae, you’ve been around enough, you have a good eye. The spread will be ok. I’ll help, it’s ok.” Seunghyun gave a gentle nudge, pushing Youngbae to the couch.

“I know, I know.”

Seunghyun put on some music and sank into the opposite side of the couch where Youngbae sat stressing.

“Sometimes I just-,” Youngbae drank and didn’t finish the thought. Seunghyun opted to wait. “Pink Floyd, nice,” Youngbae said after a full track. “Vinyl?”

“Yeah. It’s good for just chilling.”

“Nice sound.”

“You know it will be ok. I won’t let you look a fool. And you really do have good instincts. You’ve been around creative people for long enough. It will be ok.”

Youngbae leaned forward, elbows on knees, eyes down on the wineglass he held in both hands. Seunghyun watched as Youngbae spun it in his fingers.

“Sometimes I feel like such a fraud.” Just speaking the words made them more terrifying.

“Me too,” Seunghyun confessed.

Youngbae looked up at him, eyes wide. “But you’re, you, you’re so creative. You and Jiyong.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“I’m just vocals. I don’t write like you guys do. I mean I have ideas but-”

“And yet we still feel like frauds. Jiyong and me. I think everyone does sometimes.” Feelings Seunghyun often fought to ignore came bubbling up and he let them. Empathy for Youngbae rolled through him. “I think it’s just part of creating. And the pressure-”

“Yeah, the pressure.”

“But you just have to work on being you.”

“Sometimes I’m not sure- I’ve been picking songs for my new album and - they’re so not YG.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I like them. I want to do - something else.” Silenced stretched and one song shifted into another. “I don’t know what I want.”

“You know, maybe that’s ok.”

They sat together, side by side, just listening and being. When Youngbae’s glass emptied, Seunghyun refilled it. The record finished and the needle returned to its home but Seunghyun didn’t get up to replay it, didn’t put on anything else.

The silence was warm, comfortable. He never would have thought it possible but they sat together in his apartment with only the sound of his air conditioning kicking on. He blinked and realized Youngbae was singing softly under his breath. It was a delicate tune, easy and poignant. Seunghyun waited a few measures to gauge the beat then began to slowly beatbox over it. Youngbae looked at him and smiled. He drank while Seunghyun carried the beat then he his lips and began to sing.

Seunghyun had never heard the words before. He kept up what he’d started, adlibbing whenever Youngbae paused. During the second chorus he stopped to join Youngbae, freestyle rapping underlying sung words. They’d been doing it for so many years this came easily.

That magic, elusive feeling that only came in moments of pure creation enfolded them. Looking at one another they smiled as they both recognized the fragile beauty emerging between them. After the chorus he picked the beat back up and Youngbae began to rap, voice low and rough.

Seunghyun remembered that, originally, this was how it was going to be. The early iterations of Big Bang had not had Youngbae singing at all. Youngbae’s flow was still on point and Seunghyun grinned.

Youngbae added one more verse then broke off and they subsided into silence.

“Wow,” Seunghyun said. His heart thundered in his chest and he struggled to speak.

“It’s one of the songs I want on the album,” Youngbae explained, his breath coming in rough bursts. Their smiles turned to wide grins as they sank back into their seats, content. “I’ve been collaborating with a few writers I met a while back in California.”

“I like it.” Seunghyun said. He paused then added,.”I like you rapping.”

“Want I take your job?”

Seunghyun laughed and polished off his glass of wine. “Maybe.”

“You were never cut out for this were you?” Youngbae asked, suddenly serious.

“I don’t know,” Seunghyun found himself admitting. Celebrity was not what he’d imagined. Nothing close. “I can’t imagine doing anything else though.”

“Me neither.”

“I’m going to rap on Ri’s album.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Maybe I really will take over your job.” Youngbae looked cocky.

Seunghyun stretched his mouth, blew through his lips a couple times and then let rip the ace he’d been hiding up his sleeve. Time to put Youngbae back in his place.

Ganadaramabasa ajachakatapaha neuri bouhasa

Uju wireul bogo deutneun neukkim nan geop eomneun mongsangga

Domangga, an domangga neohui jigeum mulmannasseo

God God God God gomageul ssitgineun Shower

Youngbae watched him, slack jawed. He started whistling part way through and set his wineglass down to shake a hand in appreciation.

“Damn, yo,” Youngbae said after Seunghyun finished.

“Third verse is faster,” Seunghyun said smugly.

“Whatever, I could rap,” Youngbae said and he laughed. “Is that going to go on your album?”

Seunghyun shrugged. “Define album.”

“Hyung!” Youngbae laughed. They sat for a while longer. “I feel better.”

“I’m glad.” Seunghyun met Youngbae’s eyes and they smiled at each other. “You know, you should go to California. Do more of what you want.”

“Yeah?”

“Worst that happens is they tell you no, but make music you want to make.”

“You’re right. Thank you, hyung.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

Youngbae was a little too tipsy that night so Seunghyun lent him an oversized pair of pajamas (well, they were normal-sized on him) and pushed him into a spare room.

The next few weeks were spent actively working on Youngbae’s place. Seunghyun couldn’t help himself, so there were more shopping trips and late nights where Youngbae attempted to sketch furniture layouts, only to be mockingly told that he had no concept of how big a couch actually was. But the mockery was always accompanied with impish smiles and laughter.

Youngbae gave as good as he got and had taken to calling Seunghyun ‘old man’ at every chance. Seunghyun could have been affronted at such treatment from someone accepting help but - it felt too good to actually fall into easy banter with Youngbae..

“So you two are getting cozy,” Jiyong mentioned one day when they both happened to be at YG at the same time.

Seunghyun didn’t respond, just looked at Jiyong.

“Don’t look at me like that, what’s with you and Bae? You’ve never been BFF’s”.

“Do you have a problem, Jiyong?”

Jiyong narrowed his eyes. He knew all about Seunghyun’s theories on Youngbae’s uality though he didn’t share them. He was also protective. “Behave.”

“Whatever,” Seunghyun said and sauntered away. He didn’t need Jiyong telling him what to do anymore.

That night after a few hours in galleries - Youngbae seemed particularly taken with David Mach as further evidence of his good taste - and a few more hours over wine and finger foods Youngbae again crashed at Seunghyun’s. It was becoming a regular occurrence and Seunghyun found himself welcoming it. His conscious nagging uncomfortably until he told it to go to hell, it was nice having Youngbae around. And for Youngbae’s part, the spare room began taking on a home-away-from-home feel.

As predicted, the feature in Vogue was a success. “I sound so savvy, hyung,” Youngbae said as they read it through together in the YG lounge Big Bang regularly claimed as their own.

“Skilled liar,” Seunghyun teased.

“You know it.” Youngbae leaved through the magazine. “They liked all the toys.”

“I told you filling it with things that made you happy would be a good idea.”

“They seemed really impressed.”

“You did good, Dong Youngbae,” Seunghyun said and Youngbae actually blushed. “Ya.” Seunghyun clapped a hand on Youngbae’s shoulder. “Let me take you out to dinner, to celebrate.”

“That would be nice.”

Seunghyun took him to a little hole in the wall he knew. Actually, he’d discovered it with Jiyong and had ‘won’ it post-breakup. The maitre-d greeted him at the door and led them to his usual booth, drawing a curtain for privacy.

Youngbae perused the menu while Seunghyun consulted the wine list. They sat in comfortable silence, their thoughts their own but companionship filling the table. Once they’d ordered they filled the air with light gossip. Trainees, the group, shared friends, music-

“So I’ve got the go ahead on a couple of songs.”

“Yeah?” Seunghyun said then shifted back to allow their server to place his meal down. “Which songs?”

Youngbae’s eyes fluttered and he whispered quietly over his food before looking up at Seunghyun, abashed “Teddy-hyung’s song and that banger Ji wrote.”

“I like those,” Seunghyun said blandly.

“They’re pretty YG.” Youngbae poked at his dinner.

“They are.” Seunghyun took too-big a bite and let silence do it’s work.

“I just don’t want him to say no. The CEO is very-”

“Opinionated,” Seunghyun said.

“You really, really shouldn’t talk with your mouth full. Like really,” Youngbae chastised. He looked at his plate. “Anyways we’re looking at MV scheduling. The company wants me to film in California.”

“Hey that’s great! You’ll get a chance to go hang with those guys you’ve been collaborating with.”

“Yeah-” Youngbae actually stopped playing with his food long enough to eat.

“What?”

“Jiyong suggested Min Hyo Rin for the MVs.”

“Yeah? She likes me you know.”

“Huh?” Youngbae asked dumbly.

“She said I’m one of the actors she most wants to work with.” Seunghyun preened a little.

“Yeah well I’m gonna get her first,” Youngbae said.

“So the album is gonna be ready soon, huh?”

“I don’t know. I’ve only shared just those two songs-”

“But you told them you have a whole album,” Seunghyun said, leading.

“Yeah I just-” The cutlery clattered to the table. “Hyung, I know they aren’t going to go for it.”

“You won’t know if you don’t try.”

Under the pretext of proximity to the restaurant, Youngbae crashed in Seunghyun’s spare room again. He fell asleep almost instantly despite creative anxiety threatening insomnia. Something about Seunghyun’s place was just - soothing.

Seunghyun, on the other hand spent the night in creation, fine tuning the song he’d rapped for Youngbae, Doom Dada its working title. Dr. Strangelove played on the television in the background. Youngbae left early in the morning, bound for the studio. Seunghyun just kept working.