"I dare not stay long," She said in a hushed voice. It was pained, and I can almost hear the way her heart broke from what came from herself. "I just had to see you."

It's certainly been years since we have last seen each other.

Nothing changed -- she still looked the same, as if she doesn't even age at all. Her height had increased from when I last saw her. But nonetheless, it was the same Joohyun that I have always admired and cherished.

"You didn't tell me you were coming," I said, noticing how cold it was today. Maybe I was nervous -- surprised -- that she was back. Maybe it was just the wind tonight.

Joohyun played with her thumbs, looking down. It was unlikely of her to feel shy.

"I didn't tell anyone. Not even my family." She said. "I'll be leaving as soon as morning comes."

The reason she decided to impulsively go here in the middle of the night, I would never know.

She surely had ignited a long lost fire within me.

Maybe I missed her. But not as much as when she first left the city.

The way her eyes lit up thanks to the city lights and the illuminating moon tonight made it a lot more beautiful, as if allowing me to see the universe within it.

I certainly missed her; I just couldn't bring myself to admit it to her.

As if pulling me back to reality, she tugged at my arm.

"I don't have a lot of time," She said. "Let's walk through the city."

It was the middle of the night, and we were in front of my house.

I didn't want to leave without asking permission from my parents.

But then again, Joohyun was always the one who brought out the reckless Seulgi in me.

Nodding, I hopped out the window from the first floor, careful enough not to step on my mother's flowers that surrounded the house.

It had been years since I last saw Joohyun's smile.

Like all the other smiles she had, it made my heart flutter, too.

---

"I don't think I could live alone again," Joohyun said, admiring the stars in the sky.

'Me too,' I internally added, but I guess it would be best if I stay silent. I don't want to say anything at all, now that I haven't even prepared my heart for this.

I mean, it was so impulsive of her to throw small pebbles on my bedroom's windows (thank God, they didn't crack), just to ask if she could spend the night with me. Because in the morning, she'll be gone again.

I don't even know what's going on in her head anymore.

I haven't heard from her ever since she moved out of the city.

We promised we would keep in touch before she left -- she told me she would send me letters, or even try to reach me through social media, but she never did.

Every day, every night -- I kept thinking about her. Until slowly, it started to fade.

I'd like to think she completely forgot about me.

But now, she showed up in front of my house. Now, we're strolling through the silent streets of the city.

I was the first person who came into her mind when she went here.

The first person she wanted to spend the night with.

Just the thought that she didn't tell anyone that she was here made my heart race.

Was I special enough for her?

Did she feel the same things I feel for her?

I was far too deep into my own thoughts, when she spoke again.

"If only I'd just gone over when she called..."

She was referring to Seungwan.

Of course.

I'm an idiot.

She'll never look at me in that way. No, not the same way she did for Seungwan.

The two became something more than friends, but certainly less than lovers.

They didn't bother putting a label to whatever they were.

Just a casual fling, if you would look at it. But it had a stronger emotional bond between them.

On the day Joohyun was about to leave, Seungwan called her. But she never picked up the phone.

From what she told me, she wanted to leave without having a final good bye to Seungwan. She wanted Seungwan to hate her, so that she would never miss Joohyun. So that she wouldn't have to worry about her. So that she'll never look for her again. So that she could move on to a person who wouldn't leave her.

"If only I answered her call..." She spoke again. This time, it was quieter. "Maybe, just maybe, I could be in her arms tonight. Maybe things could have been different. Maybe... we're 'together' now. If only I answered..."

Oh my God, you're still in love with her after all.

I knew I was the second option.

Like when you started to have feelings for Seungwan.

You told me that if ever you got rejected, you'll just stick with me until we both get old.

I realized just now, how willing I was to become the rebound.

Am I an idiot?

She was looking at me. Maybe she realized how much I'm thinking right now, when in fact I shouldn't be thinking about anything at all.

It's normal. She misses her ex, or whatever she wants to call her. And she can't help but regret not talking to her before she left, to at least explain or something.

Of course, she loved Seungwan. She missed Seungwan. More than she'll ever love and miss me.

"I hope that what I've said didn't hurt you too much..." She mumbled.

Oh, God. You can't be serious.

If anything, I'm wishing right now that it's not what I think it is.

All I ask, more than anything else in the world, is that she forgets that I even confessed to her.

It had been years. I hope she thinks it had faded.

I thought so, too. But now, it was as if all the feelings that left me the day she left, came back as soon as she came back.

It had been years; I can't even remember when I said it, where I told her that, and what I exactly told her.

I tried to brush it off. "It's nothing, really."

"I figured you would understand me like you always had." She said.

Ah, that's right.

I was the one who listened to all the things she went through