"This," she says, as she gestures to the both of us; or rather, the space between us. "This thing that's happening between us... It's been the only reason why the past three years have been bearable for me."
Joohyun was troubled -- like she always was. But this time, she's bound to hurt herself.
She's bound to hurt me.
If anything, I was willing to take the blow. I'm more than willing to receive all the pain, just to let her breathe.
She's had enough of it, as I can see. I don't want her to prolong her suffering anymore.
With an understanding sigh, I said, "So I guess... This really is the end, then?"
"No!" Came out right after. "No, that's not what I've been meaning to say... You know that!"
By now, I can feel the confusion and frustration running in Joohyun's mind. But as much as I want to continue what we have, I'd rather we end it -- she ends it -- right now, before it's too late.
"Joohyun... unnie..." I said, trying my best to at least hurt her with that, once and for all. "You're already planning on killing yourself. This isn't healthy anymore."
This kind of love we have... it wasn't normal. Obviously.
Same- relationships were frowned upon, and Joohyun couldn't handle the judgment and criticism as well as I do.
With all honesty, I couldn't even take those. I was only trying to take them all with a kind smile. I acted like I was fine with it. I fought for what we have -- had, in this case -- because I loved her. And I knew better than to listen to other people.
But Jooh