My grandmother has a disorder, and I don't particularly know what it's called. But in her case, she talks to air, she refuses to believe in what we say, and makes up her own facts.

Sometimes, she mixes up her past with the present -- she likes to believe she's back in the time she's still in high school. When I tell her I'm her granddaughter, she laughs and tells me that I shouldn't joke like that because it was 'no jam' at all.

In a way, I grew up believing that grandma has an imaginary friend who keeps pushing her to believe in lies, as I hear her mix up information.

Although I feel sad for grandma that she has to undergo all of this, I feel the most sorry for my grandpa.

My grandma has this person she talks to even when she's alone. She calls her Joohyun, and  I'd like to believe that this persona is someone who messes up my grandma's head on a daily basis.

Grandpa has to keep up with my grandma's disorder, and remind her calmly of what truly is happening to wake her up from her make-believes.

There are nights I see grandma sitting alone in the living room, crying. She doesn't even notice me pass by her -- she doesn't even recall who I am most of the time. But like grandpa said, I should understand her condition.

Whenever grandma cries, she talks it out to Joohyun. It's convenient that she doesn't notice me sitting beside her when she does, so I get to listen to her ranting about her heartaches to whoever Joohyun was.

"My, Hyun, they really don't believe me when I say I don't recall having children!" She would laugh a little, her wrinkled eyes brightening up a bit.

The sight clenches my heart -- it was as if she was talking to an old friend, and I'm starting to think that maybe Joohyun was a friend of hers who had already passed away.

And speaking of dying, there are some cases wherein she forces us to believe that a family member died. For example, my mother Sooyoung. She tells us with teary eyes that "Joohyun told me she saw our daughter die! Stabbed to death! Bleeding on the sidewalk!"

And whenever she does that, we have to call my mom to assure her (and ourselves) that she is alive and well.

Sometimes, it scares me. Just thinking about my family members die makes me panic and anxious. It makes my heart beat nervously, because my grandma says it with much conviction, that even I believe her despite knowing about her condition.

But what scares me the most is the fact that my grandpa cries -- he never cries in front of people. But when I hear him cry at night in his room as grandma talks to Joohyun in the living room, I cry along with him.

He doubts if grandma ever loved him at all. Or if he was enough for her during the days grandma still didn't have this disorder. He asks himself if there truly was a space in grandma's heart for him. Or if it was occupied -- still occupied -- all along.

I know that grandpa loves grandma despite this. He pushes away all of his doubts about their relationship, he pushes away all his fears and self-loathing.

He's willing to get rid of his personal pain, because his love will never waver and will continue to grow and overpower all the negative thoughts that drown him every day.

For grandma -- he does it all for grandma, who rarely even remembers his face, or their memories, or that they're even married.

He does it, so that he can take care of grandma. This unconditional love is what makes him continue even though his heart breaks each second with grandma. Because he loves her, even though grandma's mind and subconscious -- her disorder -- tells her otherwise.

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