Although I control how I complain, it doesn't mean that the members don't know when I am in pain. I still show it a bit when I am in pain. We see each other 24/7, it is way too demanding for me to pretend that there is nothing wrong in front of them.

This is especially the case for Eunha-unnie. As my upper-bunkmate, she sees me when I am most relaxed, with my self-control loosened after the day. She sees me curl up in bed, hugging my arm and staring into space. She sees me tear up when I couldn't hold the pain in anymore. She whispers her words of comfort in the dark when she hears my whimper. Actually, even if she's not my bunkmate, she would know. We know each other long enough for her to sense it when something is wrong with me. Although I kiddingly said she is the mental maknae, she is sensitive, and she cares for the younger ones including me like an elder sister (even though some of her acts still are maknae-ish).

Another reason why I tell the members about my pain is that this is something they need to know. They need to know when they might have to cover up for me if necessary. Also, they need to know about it to avoid misunderstanding amongst the group. I am the main dancer of the group, but that doesn't mean that the members will be happily accepting me dancing with less strength during practice while they need to practice with full strength if I didn't tell them about my pain. The group was young, and we could not afford such misunderstanding.

So, I complain about the pain to the members sometimes, but I don't describe the pain to the very details. They know what they need to know, and that's it.

Although I complain, I don't complain to our fans. I tried to hide my injury and my pain in front of the audience. I would say that I did rather well in the MGT era. I found the fancams taken when I had to dance with one arm only, and I believe nobody would notice if they didn't know that in advance. However, I had to wear a sling during fansign, so I guess some fans knew about it. But it wasn't a big issue since our fanbase is still small back then.

There was once when I slipped (not literally) in that era. It was when Yuju-unnie faked an injury for the Ye-sisters' birthday surprise. At first, when I thought that Yuju-unnie's injury was true, I was sincerely worried. Worried about Yuju-unnie, since she looked as if it hurts a lot. I am in pain a lot, and I know how pain can wreck your nerves. I was also worried about us. One injured member is enough. But then I noticed something. Other than spacing out in attempt to ignore the pain, sometimes I would dwell on details of things excessively to distract myself from the pain. I would look through a window and stare at a tree really intensely, attempting to scan every leaf vein onto my retina. And this time I noticed something special. A hidden camera.

A hidden camera, a rare stage accident, a special day. It clicked. Ahh...so that's what it is all about. Having found something that eased my worries, and something interesting enough to distract me from pain temporarily, I waited with interest, for the surprise that I expect to be revealed very soon, and for the members' reactions.

Of course, it was just as what I expected. Yuju-unnie's injury was fake, and she carried a birthday cake with her back to the waiting room. It was all fine at first, I was happy to see the Ye-sisters surprised. But then when they started crying, saying that they were worried about Yuju-unnie's injury and such, I started to feel a tingle in the eyes, and throbbing pain in the shoulder. How nice, for the pain to be fake and everything to be fine...why won't my pain be gone like that? It was as though I was jealous of Yuju-unnie, for not being in pain. I shouldn't be feeling that way though. I should be happy and relieved for her...and I was, really...but I don't know why I get such strange feelings. Maybe one just gets a bit weak in controlling emotions when physically weak. I felt guilty and wrong as my eyes brimmed with tears.

I knew I wasn't supposed to tell that, but all of a sudden I was overwhelmed by pain. It's like my pain was screaming for attention. My Eunbi-unnie, like what I said, noticed me when nobody else did. Like always, she tried to comfort me and such. Then, others noticed me crying and unnie comforting me, and my injury was revealed for the first time to the public. However, not many people cared, and I was glad. It was shameful to me, breaking out at that instance.

SinB should not be seen like that.

**Video time~**

Ye-sisters' bday surprise 150819(?): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pygZkC-9NEs

+ Extra (came across this and found Sowon hugging Sinb at some point, maybe it has sth to do with her injury?): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jR3FiQjZpk0

Sinb ran past with her arm held near her tummy (right after performance?) 150820: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEfxlLCZh2Q

+ Sinb got her sling on 150820: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Whn3l_qozvQ

Sinb dancing with one arm on 150822: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1uvc0QfwrI (can you spot it? if not, try searching for Sinb focus for that performance)

Sinb with sling at fan sign 150823: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugJ4M_FVsCg

*Author's message*

Quite a long chapter, which I didn't expect...but not very well-written, especially the last part...sorry for that _(:3

I actually rewatched some fancams and the hidden camera bday surprise video before I started writing, to find out the period when SinB was having an injury. 20150819-22 at least was my guess. SinB indeed hid her injury very well, and I couldn't even spot her using one arm only at first!

Btw, the chapter is named 'No me gusta', which is 'I don't like it' in Spanish. I chose this name because this chapter is about the MGT era, and I thought it would be nice if the title can relate to that ;)