A joint dislocation is painful. I experienced that the first time when I was small.

A habitual joint dislocation is distressing. I have had that for around half of my life so far and I don't see it leaving me in the foreseeable future.

Habitual joint dislocation together with excessive dancing is excruciating. I expected that all along.

But I was naive enough, and I didn't see that coming with something more.

~

"Eunbi-ya! Hwang SinB!" Sowon-unnie shouted almost right next to my ear. I snapped out of my daydream right away, stopped my stretching routine and turned my head towards Sowon-unnie to see her fake angry face and worry-filled eyes.

"Ya! You are destroying my eardrum!" I tried as hard as I could to inject more energy into my voice, angrily massaging my ear in response.

"Ya? You say 'ya' to your unnie?" Sowon-unnie played along.

"Yaha~" I did 1 second of aegyo and decided to give up, "Isn't it time for us to standby in the backstage? Why are you still standing here like a scarecrow?" I snorted, getting up from the mat we laid on the floor of the waiting room and striding past Sowon-unnie.

Almost immediately, she jumped to her feet, nearly yelling, "Ya! So you heard me say that we should go now but decided not to respond?!" She made the exaggerated expression that she always made when we made fun of her during Vlives.

Having sensed that I was not too far from driving Sowon-unnie up the wall, I decided it's about time to end the game, "Calm down, leader-nim...everyone are standing right next the door. Where else could we be going at this hour other than the backstage?"

Sowon-unnie hurriedly came to my side and gave my a knuckle sandwich, then we started moving towards the backstage.

"You ok, Eunbi?" Asked a slightly breathy voice. I just finished doing some last minute stretching and was fixing my top to make sure that the tapes wrapping my shoulder and part of my upper arm did not show. Yes. I had taping again. In fact, I almost haven't had a day without taping ever since the first day of comeback. The popping and and swings of the arms we had in our choreography was a bit too much for my old joints.

I turned my head while tugging on the sleeve of my shirt to see Umji's worried face in the dim light. Of course it's sweet Umji. I needed help with the taping, and most of the time I had Stylist-unnie to help, but sometimes I just need someone else to do the job. Umji was kind enough to learn how to do the taping for me, so she got a better idea of my condition now. "I guess so...just like any other day" these two weeks, I replied, half-leaning on her.

"Yeojachingu, it's your turn on stage!" A male PD announced, signalling us to the stage.

We quickly skip up to the stage and lined up in the middle, hands crossed in front of our chests.

Music, cue. The show begins.

We were half-way through the song when I felt something different at my left shoulder. Different, but not something unexperienced. I don't know it sounds understandable to normal people, but I felt like my shoulder is slipping. Slipping from where it's supposed to be. Then, it struck me.

It was terrible.

Within seconds, everything I saw was blurred. I could feel tears on the brim of my eyes. Even the slightest move of the arm gave consequence, let alone a swing.

But no.

Dance, Hwang Eunbi.

The show must go on. The golden rule that is easy as ABCs to anyone working in the entertainment industry.

Just a little more than a line to go. I could hear the tremble in my voice. I had to force lyrics to come out of my mouth instead of whimpers.

No.

It's just too long a way to go, and I was already at the farthest I could go.

I just had to stop using my arm. I held it stable at my back, resting on my mic signal receiver.

Finally, I was on my knee and the music stopped. I paused with this pose for 5 seconds until I heard that life-saving "Cut!"

I quickly spinned around to face the back of the stage, finally letting those hanging drops of tears conform to gravity. I carefully moved my left arm, pulling it to my chest and holding it there with my right hand. I felt like somebody stood behind me, facing the audience and blocking me from their view.

"Up till now, it has been Gfriend!"

Then, I felt a slim and tall figure towering over me, circling me in her arms but maintaining minimal contact with my body. Before I knew it, we were off-stage.

"Eunbi-ya, what happened?" "How are you feeling?" "What happened?" "Oh my god. SinB are you ok?" "SinB, gwaenchana?"

The members huddled around me as soon as we were in backstage, but all I could say was "Apa (아파)" and all I could do was hold my arm firmly to my chest and let tears smudge my makeup. Although I stopped using my left arm soon after I felt the injury, but all the swinging and stuff, harm had already been done.

I didn't know how we returned to the waiting room. When the pain finally subsided a bit, we were in the room and I was surrounded by five pairs of bunny eyes. Manager-oppa was rummaging through my bag, trying to find my sling.

Probably feeling that I was brought back to my senses (my other senses), a slender hand gently wiped away the moisture on my face, "Eunbi-ya, gwaenchana?"

Before I could answer, Manager-oppa pushed his way through the circle the members enclosed me in, handing Yewon my sling and gesturing her to help me with it.

"How are you feeling now? We'll get you to the hospital now." He announced.

"Erm...I think...I think I could wait till recording ends. I'm feeling much better now..." "No!" Sowon-unnie cut me off. "Your health should go first, Eunbi-ya..." The members nodded in unison.

"But I really am feeling much better now...you see...I think it's more likely a subluxation not a full dislocation...I can still move..." "Eunbi-ssi!" Yewon held my arm stable as she saw me wanting to wave it to show them what I said was true, furrowing her brows.

"...the point is, I really am feeling much better...I know I need to visit the doctor, but it could wait for a bit...I won't have to move around much. It's just an ending shot, and I don't even need to lift my arm!" I tried my best to convince them.

"You sure you can wait?" Manager-oppa said, knitting his brows.

"Yes, I am positive. It's much better now. I just have to hold and stabilize it a bit, and I will be alright." "Trust me. This is not my first time." I added, seeing Manager-oppa and the members' faces of disapproval.

"Keep your sling on for now. You still have some time before the ending...and be very careful with your arm, ok? I have to give team-jangnim (팀장) call and make an appointment with the doctor." Manager-oppa said, while walking towards the door. "Oh! And girls, all of you, clean your faces now. You all look so-not-ready for recording. You don't have much time left."

"Oh gosh! Right, girls...those who could do touch-up on your own do it by yourself, and the others come queue up! SinB-ssi, you come first!" Makeup-unnie realized how busy she was and hurriedly started her work.

~

We were moving from the backstage towards the stage for the last bit of recording when I heard a familiar male voice whisper, "Hwang Eunbi!" and felt a light poke at my back. It's Moonbin. He was surprised to see my bunny eyes. "Wow...look at your eyes! What happened? Did you fight with someone?"

"Nah..." I laid my eyes on my arm, "The old problem..."

Moonbin got what I meant immediately, his eyes widened, "Did that happen on stage just now? Oh god...it's awful...are you ok now? Shouldn't you be at the hospital now?"

"Hey, slow down a bit...yes it happened on stage just now, but I'm feeling better now...and yes, I will go to the hospital, but after this." I answered all the questions my worried friend had.

"God...give me a call or whatever after you see the doctor." He said.

"You remember? I don't have a cellphone, and neither do you!" I answered, finding the situation a bit funny.

"Then just ask your manager to give my manager a call!" He provided a solution immediately.

Hearing his words, a tiny smile formed on my face. Moonbin was such a sweet friend. That's why even if we haven't been able to contact each other like forever, I could always believe that we support each other. I gave a small nod as both of us arrived at our positions on the stage, ready for recording.

~

"The winner of this week's Inkigayo is? Yes...여자친구 너 그리고 나...congratulations. Please say a few words." By the point when Sowon-unnie took the mic and started to thank all we had to thank, all the members were stealing glances at me and starting to cry. Then, we did a group hug.

What a difficult win.

**Video/pics time~**

20160711 Look at Sinb's arm: https://twitter.com/FU_Sinb98/status/755318966243831812; http://cfile28.uf.tistory.com/image/27639F3B5785C2A8095BE7 ; http://cfile5.uf.tistory.com/original/2328EE3F5785DBBB21E254 ; http://cfile8.uf.tistory.com/original/211FCF3D5783CF5C183427

20160724 Inkigayo performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpRwfHfgxAQ; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2Hjiz8UZwo ; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FB5crQZsiwM

*Author's message*

Sorry that it took me forever to update. Actually I've started writing this chapter 3 days ago, but it got really long, and I was not satisfied, so I kept making changes. In fact, I am not that satisfied now...so I might still make changes later on (or I might just accept the fact that I'm not a good writer *face palm*).

Btw, I just added a bit of content in the chapter "Gonna be ok?" coz I was reading through the plot I wrote (yes, I do try to write a bit of a plot to keep track of where I am) and I found that I actually wrote two paragraphs that I really wanna put in the story, but the timeline would be messed up if I put it elsewhere...so please bare with me...Last but not least, thanks for reading~