There was nothing, and then the pain came back, starting with the cracked bones in Seolhyun’s toes and then crawling up her shattered calves and knees, over her pulverized pelvis in waves of fiery pain. When the fire reached her head, she tried to scream, but her jaw wouldn’t unhinge. The scream tore through her still, silent but full of rage that tasted of the blood that pooled in .

Death… oh Gods, she begged for death over and over in her mind. A relentless, steady stream to whatever God was listening to take this away, because the pain was splitting the seams of her sanity.

But the pain didn’t lessen. It burned. It remained. It continued to rot her from the inside until she willed her eyes open.

Her vision didn’t focus as first. What she saw was a hazy blur of blue, but when her sight cleared, she didn’t understand what she was seeing.

Seolhyun was staring at a sky… the brightest blue she’d ever seen. Like the deepest ocean water, untouched and pure. No sky was that color. The air smelled of jasmine. And she’d been in the Dean’s office, where Ares… where he…

She couldn’t think of that. She couldn’t think of anything.

All she knew was pain. It was in every fiber of muscle, every splintered bone and burst vessel, but that… that wasn’t true. There was one thing that she did know.

The cord, the connection between Jimin and she, it was gone.

There was no humming. No rage. No outside presence mingling with hers. Oh Gods, she was nothing now but pain.

“Seolhyun.”

Seolhyun didn’t realize her eyes were closed again until she forced them to reopen at the sound of the vaguely familiar voice. At first, she didn’t see him, or anything other than that beautiful, unreal sky.

A shadow fell over her and then a form appeared, blocking out the sky. Seconds later, the man pieced together. Tall and broad and a head full of honey-colored hair, the man had the face of an Angel.

Oh for the love of Gods, she couldn’t catch a freaking break.

Thanatos.

The God’s lips tipped up a little on one side, as if he knew what Seolhyun was thinking, and she wondered then if she was actually dead, if someone had lied about the whole Elpis-death thing, because she was staring at the God of peaceful death.

Then again, her death, if that was what this really was, had been anything but peaceful. Had he come to answer her prayers? To take this pain away?

Easing down, Thanatos tipped his head to the side as he leaned over her. “Can you hear me?”

Seolhyun tried to open but couldn’t.

“Blink if you can,” he said with surprising gentleness.

She blinked.

“We may have been foes in the past, but I am not here to harm you now. I’m watching over you until Apollo can return with his son, Asclepius.”

Apollo? His son? Confusion swamped Seolhyun and she dragged in a deeper breath she immediately regretted. Pain arced across her chest, unforgiving.

Thanatos moved to place his hand on her forehead, but stopped short. “It’s okay. You’re in Olympus.”

Olympus?

How in the world was that okay?

“Well, just outside of Olympus, if you want to get technical.” He glanced over his shoulder, sighing softly. “What you did by standing up to Ares? Not many would. No Mortal, Demigod, and surely not even the Elpis. You could’ve submitted to him. You would’ve saved yourself so much pain.” Thanatos leaned in close, focusing on Seolhyun with white eyes that held no pupils or irises. “You held your ground, and I can respect that. I can also admire that.”

Maybe, if it didn’t feel like Seolhyun’s body had been shattered into a million pieces, she could really appreciate that statement.

The jasmine-scented air stirred, and two more shadows fell over the spot where Seolhyun lay… in the grass, she realized dumbly. Her entire back felt wet and she wasn’t hopeful enough to think that it was dew instead of her own blood… or someone else’s?

Apollo came into focus, and instead of showing off those creepy God eyes, he stared down at her with brown eyes that matched the sun’s ultimate affection in heated warmth, showing compassion and silent understanding in the sun’s favor.

A small, almost-sad smile tugged at his lips, which Seolhyun found so strange since it was rare that Apollo showed any real emotion.

“There was no way I could heal you in the Mortal realm. The damage is too extensive,” he said, and for the first time, he cut right to the chase. “I had to bring you here, as close to Olympus as possible. All the Alch surrounding my home will help Asclepius.”

Seolhyun wanted to ask about Hyejeong and Heechul, but when she finally managed to open , only the smallest whimper leaked out.

“Don’t try to talk,” Apollo said. He leaned back, making room for another God. “My son is going to heal you.” A wry grin twisted his lips. “And I know if you could, you’d say something like ‘how many kids do you have?’ and my answer would be ‘many’.”

Yeah, Seolhyun was kind of curious, and she also wondered if it meant that Asclepius was related to her, but what she really wanted to know was what had happened to Hyejeong and Heechul.

Asclepius took the place of Thanatos. This God barely resembled Apollo. A full beard covered his face, making it difficult to gauge his age, but the fine lines spreading out from the corners of his white eyes made him look much older than his father. Seolhyun’s eyes moved to Apollo, and she was comforted to find that he was still there. He hadn’t left her with Thanatos and a stranger.

Finally, Apollo took pity on her. “The last I saw of Hyejeong and Heechul, they were fine. But I haven’t been back since I brought you here.”

Seolhyun closed her eyes and swallowed hard. It wasn’t a hundred percent confirmation that they were okay, but it was something that she could hold onto.

“Do you know the story of my son?” Apollo asked.

When Seolhyun did nothing, Asclepius laughed. “He loves to tell this story.”

“His Mortal mother died during childbirth, and while she was on the funeral pyre, I cut him from the womb.” As Apollo spoke, his son eyed the numerous injuries with a mixed look of disgust and challenge. “I gave him to the centaur Chiron, who raised him in the art of medicine. Of course, having my genes, he already had a talent for healing.”

Of course.

“But Artemis had asked Asclepius to bring Hippolytus back to life, and between Hades being pissed off about that, and Aphrodite’s whining, Zeus killed my son with a thunderbolt.” A muscle popped out in Apollo’s jaw. “So I killed Cyclops, ensuring that Zeus would have no more thunderbolts.”

Oookay…

“I ended up banned from Olympus for a year,” Apollo continued casually, “but in the end, Zeus resurrected my son to ensure there would be no future feuds with me.” He paused. “You’re wondering what the moral of this story is? I always find a way to take care of my own.”

Before Seolhyun could process what that meant, his son placed his hands on her chest. Under normal circumstances, she wouldn’t have been thrilled with the idea of being felt up, but incredible warmth swept through her. From the tips of her aching toes to the top of her fractured skull, dizzying, wonderful warmth invaded every pore.

The God closed his eyes. “This may sting.”

Seolhyun wanted to scream, because she couldn’t take anymore, but then the warmth blistered her skin and she did scream.

Fire raged through her, spreading out of control and searing every cell. Her broken body reared off the ground.

Asclepius’ face blurred into a severe frown. “There’s something else here….”

For the second time in however many minutes, Seolhyun was pulled into the void, lost in a black sea of nothingness.

***

When she opened her eyes, her vision was clear and she’d been moved into a circular chamber with marble walls. Birds shrilled in a soft, lyrical verse from somewhere outside the room. A table sat in the middle of a raised podium. Resting atop the table was a pitcher full of honey-colored liquid. Heavy, scented air flowed through a small opening in the wall, stirring the white canopy hanging from the posts at the foot of the bed she rested in.

A bed? Obviously it was a step up from lying in grass, but confusion pinged at her. She pushed up onto her elbows and winced as an ache rolled through her entire body.

She’d been healed, but…

Never in Seolhyun’s life did she think she’d breathe the Alch-enriched air of the Gods, but here she was. A low hum of excitement trilled in her veins. She wanted to race off the bed and investigate. Olympus was rumored to be the most beautiful place in existence, even more so than the Elysium. Creatures of myths roamed freely here, and plants that no longer flourished in the Mortal realm grew to staggering heights in Olympus.

This was a once-in-a-life time…

The excitement gave way to unrest. Seolhyun wasn’t here for sightseeing. It wasn’t like she was on vacation and Apollo would pop in and give her a tour along. This wasn’t Disney World, and she was here because Ares…

In the back of her mind, and in the center of her very being, there was a dark and ugly thing that had been born and taken root, a distinct coldness that no amount of warm air could subdue. Her thoughts swung to Ares and her heart turned heavy. Raw terror formed in the back of , tasting like blood.

But, oh Gods, it wasn’t just Ares, or the thought of facing him again. It was the pain that had festered and rotted her, the pain that had shattered her into pieces and caused her to beg for release… for death.

Ares knew.

Seolhyun started to throw the blanket off, but stopped. Indecision smacked into her. What was she doing? Where was she going to go to demand answers? Her hand tightened around the blanket until she thought she was going to undo Asclepius’ hard work.

She couldn’t move.

She was frozen by… by what? Fear. Distress. Shame. Confusion. Anxiety. A hundred or so emotions whirled through her like a tornado. Her breath sawed in and out painfully. Pressure blossomed out of nowhere, clamping down on her still-tender chest.

She couldn’t breathe.

Images of the fight in the Dean Minhwan’s office flipped through her head like a twisted photo album. The maneuvers that always had been too late. The kicks and punches that’d never landed. Being picked up and thrown like she was nothing more than a sack of rice. The breaking of her spine and every bone thereafter and then the knife…

The sound of Hyejeong and Heechul banging on the doors, desperately trying to get in, haunted her. So many memories of Ares owning her kept on coming in a continuous onslaught.

Seolhyun didn’t know how long she stayed like that, but the floor had this wonderful grounding ability. A bone-deep exhaustion set in, the kind a warrior felt at the end of the final battle, when he was ready to turn in his sword and fade into eternity.

Somewhere in the room, a door opened, scraping against marble. Seolhyun didn’t lift her head or try to sit up, and she knew how she looked to whoever was in the room, like a dog cowering in the corner.

That was her.

“Honey?”

Seolhyun’s heart stopped.

“Seolhyun? Oh my Gods, baby.”

She was frozen again, too afraid to look and discover that the voice didn’t really belong to her mom, that it was some kind of messed-up illusion. A different kind of pressure fisted in her chest. Fragile hope swelled.

Warm arms surrounded her in a gentle, painfully familiar embrace. Inhaling a ragged breath, she caught her scent... vanilla.

Lifting her head, Seolhyun peered through the strands of hair and lost her breath, along with any ability to form a coherent thought.

“Mom?”

Helena smiled, sliding her hands up to her daughter’s cheeks. It was her… the oval face and complexion slightly darker than hers, lips spread in a wide smile and eyes the color of the brightest green.

She looked like she had the last time Seolhyun had seen her in Jeju, the night before the Demon attack that had changed her into an Alch-addicted monster, before she had killed her.

“Honey, it’s me, it’s really me.” Her voice was as Seolhyun remembered, soft and melodious. “I’m here.”

Seolhyun stared at her mother until her beautiful face began to swim. Part of her couldn’t allow herself to accept this gift, because, if it wasn’t real, it would be too cruel. The spirits guarding the gates to the Underworld had almost fooled her.

But her mother’s hands were warm and her eyes were full of tears. It smelled like her and sounded like her. Even the dark hair fell in waves past her shoulders the way they had before.

Then she came to her knees and leaned forward, pressing her forehead against Seolhyun’s. Her voice was tight with tears. “Do you remember what I said to you that night?”

Seolhyun struggled to get the words out. “That you loved me?”

“Yes.” Helena’s smile was watery. “I told you that, with or without purpose, you were a very special girl.”

Oh Gods…

“And you told me that, as your mother I was obligated to tell you that.” She laughed and it seemed to catch in . “Even I didn’t know how special you truly were.”

It is her, really her.

Screaming forward, Seolhyun threw her arms around her, nearly knocking her backward. With a soft laugh, Helena enveloped her in a strong hug, the hug Seolhyun had been missing and needing for so long.

Mothers gave the best hugs ever.

She squeezed Seolhyun tight, and Seolhyun clung to her while she smoothed her hair back with one hand. Tears burned the back of and welled in her eyes. Emotion poured into her chest until it felt like her heart would explode. She’d been waiting for this moment for what felt like forever, and she never wanted to let her go.

“How is this possible?” Seolhyun’s voice was hoarse and muffled. “I don’t understand.”

“Apollo thought it would be good for you after what happened.” Helena pulled back a little. Tears glistened in her eyes, and Seolhyun hated that. “He called in a favor with Hades.”

Apollo must have a lot of favors at his disposal.

“I’ve missed you so much.” She placed her hand to Seolhyun’s cheek and smiled. “And I wish I could’ve been there for you when you lost Chanmi and faced the Council. I wish for that more than anything else.”

A red-hot lump filled Seolhyun’s throat. “I know. Mom, I’m… I’m so sorry. I–”

“No, honey, don’t you dare apologize for anything that happened to me. None of it was your fault.”

But it was her fault. Sure, Seolhyun didn’t turn her into a Demon, but they’d left the safety of Ephti Island because of what she would become. Her mom sacrificed everything; her life, for Seolhyun, and she’d still connected to Jimin when she had Awakened, inciting horrific, catastrophic events across the country as the Gods retaliated.

How was that not her fault?

“Listen to me,” she said, clasping both sides of Seolhyun’s face now and forcing her gaze up. “What happened to me in Jeju wasn’t your fault. And you did the right thing in Gimhae. You gave me peace.”

By killing her… her mother.

Helena pressed her lips together, and then took a shaky breath. “You can’t hold on to that kind of guilt. It doesn’t belong to you. And what happened after you Awakened wasn’t something you could control. You broke the connection in the end. That is what matters.”

Her words were so sincere that Seolhyun was almost convinced, but she didn’t want to spend this time with her talking about all the terrible things that had happened. After everything that had happened, she just wanted her mom to hold her.

Pushing down the guilt was like taking off a pair of too-tight pants. She could breathe now, but the marks were left behind on her skin. “Are you happy?” Seolhyun asked, scooting closer.

Helena gathered her close again, resting her chin atop Seolhyun’s head, and Seolhyun closed her eyes, almost able to pretend that they were home and that a heart actually beat under her cheek. “I miss you, and there are other things I miss, but I am happy.” Pausing, she tucked Seolhyun’s hair back. “There is peace, Seolhyun. The kind that erases a lot of the negative stuff and makes it easier to deal.”

Seolhyun was sort of envious of that kind of peace.

“I watch over you when I can,” she said, pressing a kiss on the crown of her daughter’s head. “It’s not something they suggest for us to do, but when I can, I check in. You want to tell me about this Genuine?”

Seolhyun’s eyes popped open, heat flooded her face. “Mom!”

She laughed softly. “She cares for you so much, baby.”

“I know.” Seolhyun’s heart squeezed as she lifted her head. “I love her.”

Helena’s eyes lit up. “You have no idea how happy that makes me to know that you’ve found love among all of this…”

Tragedy, Seolhyun finished silently. Wrapping her hands around her mom’s slim wrists, her gaze fell to the window. Thin branches swayed in the breeze. Bright pink flowers were open, their teardrop-shaped petals moist with dew. Seolhyun stared at them for an obscenely long time before she spoke.

“Sometimes I wonder if it’s right, you know, if I should feel happiness and love when everyone is suffering.”

“But you have suffered, too.” Helena guided Seolhyun’s gaze back to hers. “Everybody, no matter what is happening around them, deserves that kind of love, especially you. And that kind of love is more important than anything right now. It’s going to keep you sane. It’s always going to remind you of who you really are.”

Seolhyun took a deep breath, but it got caught. “So many people have died, Mom.”

“And people will, baby, and there’ll be nothing you can do it about it.” She pressed her lips to Seolhyun’s forehead. “You can’t save everyone. You’re not meant to.”

Seolhyun wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Was being the Elpis all about death and destruction instead of saving lives?

“Can you stand?” she asked.

Nodding, Seolhyun pushed to her feet and winced as pain splintered down her legs. Concern pinched her mom’s features, but she waved it off. “I’m fine.”

Helena stood, keeping a hand on Seolhyun’s arm. “You should sit. Apollo said that it would take a little while for you to feel normal.”

Feeling normal wasn’t possible, probably never again, but Seolhyun sat on the edge of the bed and watched her mom glide toward the raised podium and the table. She didn’t walk… never had. Her mom had this innate grace she always wished she’d been born with. Instead, she stomped around like a cow most of the time.

Helena picked up the pitcher and a glass that had been behind it. “He wants you to drink this.”

Seolhyun’s brows rose in suspicion. If she’d learned anything over the last nineteen years, drinking or eating something from the Gods warranted a hefty amount of misgiving. “What is it?”

Her mom poured the contents into an ancient-looking glass cup and headed back to the bed. Sitting down, she handed it over. “It’s a healing nectar that Apollo’s son concocted to aid what he had done. You can’t stay here the amount of time that it will take you to heal completely, but this will help. Even for you, there’s too much Alch in the air. It will suffocate you.”

Suffocation sounded y, but Seolhyun stared at the glass warily.

“It’s okay, honey. I understand your hesitation, but this isn’t to trick you.”

With a great deal of anxiety, Seolhyun took the glass and sniffed it. The aroma was a mix of honey and something weedy. Because she knew this was her mom, and she could feel that truth deep inside her, she drank from the glass. She was relieved when she discovered it tasted sweet.

“Drink it slowly,” her mom cautioned. “It’s going to make you sleepy.”

“It is?” Seolhyun frowned down at the glass.

“When you wake up, you’ll be back in the Mortal world.”

A cold wind filled her chest. “This isn’t a dream, is it?”

“No.” Helena smiled as she reached out, catching that piece of hair that always fell forward and tucking it back. “This isn’t a dream.”

Letting out a stuttered breath, Seolhyun took another sip. There was so much she wanted to say. Many times since she’d died, she’d fantasized about seeing her mom again and had created this massive list of things she wanted to say to her, starting off with a whole list of apologies for sneaking out, cussing, fighting, and being a general nuisance.

And then she’d move on to how great of a mother she’d been. Now, it was funny and strange. When Seolhyun opened , emotion choked out that list, erasing it completely. The words she spoke were, “I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too, but I am with you as much as I can be.” Helena watched Seolhyun drink the healing nectar. “I want you to promise me something.”

“Anything,” Seolhyun said, and she meant it.

A small smile appeared. “No matter what happens, and no matter what you have to do, I want you to absolve yourself of guilt.”

She stared at her. “I–”

“No, honey. You need to let the guilt go, and you need to let what Ares did go.”

Lowering the glass, she looked away and gave a little shake of her head. Let go of how badly Ares had broken her, how she had begged for death? Impossible. “Did you… did you see it?”

“No.” She placed her hand on Seolhyun’s and squeezed. “But Apollo told me.”

The laugh that came out of Seolhyun sounded incredibly bitter. “Of course he did. And where was Apollo when I was getting my handed to me, by the way?”

A pained look crossed her mom’s face, and Seolhyun immediately regretted saying that. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “He was probably off doing important God stuff.” Or chasing Nymphs.

“It’s okay.” Her hand swept across her cheek, and Seolhyun was surprised to find that her face no longer ached. “Apollo is very concerned about you. So am I.”

“I’m okay.” The lie rang false in her own ears.

Helena tilted her head to the side and sighed. “I didn’t want this life for you. I wanted to spare you this darkness.”

“I know.” Looking at her, Seolhyun soaked in her features. Gods, her mom was beautiful. It was more than good godly DNA. It was what was inside that bled through; her goodness, love, and everything she aspired to be. In her eyes, she shone. And her life had ended way too early. She deserved so much more, and Seolhyun wished she could give that to her.

But she couldn’t, so she gave her the only thing that she could. “I promise,” she told her. “I promise to let it go.”

Helena’s lips curved up at the corners. “I want to kill Ares for what he did to you.”

Seolhyun choked on her drink. Never had she ever heard her mom say she wanted to kill anyone, except after she’d turned into a Demon.

Smothering a yawn that came out of nowhere, Seolhyun finished what was left of the sweet drink. Her mom took the cup from her and stood, replacing it on the table. By the time she’d turned around, Seolhyun was lying flat on her back.

“Damn,” she murmured. “That stuff… it’s strong.”