A/N: 

Hi there guys!! I said that there is a high chance that I won't be able to update since I was gone almost all week, but I felt kind of bad for not updating, so I decided to write at least something and post it. This chapter is only 8k (which is actually the length that I planned for every chapter but somehow my chapters are lately around 15k oops), but I hope you'll like it.

I'm very happy about the feedback !! I was really afraid about the previous chapter and how will you react, but I'm glad to receive only good reactions. It really surprised me, so thank you very much !! Also, there were people commenting about having same problems as self-hatred and depression, and it made me truly sad that someone has to go through it. (lmao i'm going through it too but i hate when other people are suffering. I hate that there are so many people feeling as ty as me, omg pls be better soon)

Okay, again, thank you for your support so much! I never expected so many people commenting and liking it and even ing reading it. Boi, I'm so happy. I was so shocked when I even got a message on my tumblr, like... wow.. You are the best!

Also, I said it before, but I'm saying it again now when I'm 100% sure about it. - right after this fic, I'm going to write another chaptered fanfic. It's gonna be a mafia au, if anyone was wondering. I'm just saying it because some people asked me if I plan on writing another chaptered fic. So, yea.

About the spin-offs - I'm very surprised to see people so enthusiastic about it, but sadly, I'm not sure if I'm going to write them. I planned to write one-shot for every pairing and that's why I asked you guys, but I wasn't really sure about it even then, I just really wanted to ask because if I decide to write them, I wanted to know which pairings I'm gonna write for. So please have in mind that it's 50/50 that I'm gonna write them :)

And finally, about the one-shot I mentioned some time ago.. Man, wow, I really thought that it's gonna be some short one-shot but boi, it's already 3k words and I'm not even 1/8 done with it oops. So that's why it's taking so long. I already know it's gonna be kinda long and it will actually take some time until it's written and done to my liking. For now, I really want to focus on this fic and on the upcoming mafia au, since they are both chaptered fics.

!!!SPOILER!!!
in the next chapter, get ready dudes. that chapter is gonna be long as .

So, that's all! Please enjoy this half-chapter. :)

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At Jongin's and Kyungsoo's party it is slightly uncomfortable how everyone stares at them while smiling like idiots, and Chanyeol knows that Baekhyun isn't enjoying the unwanted attention at all. That's why he tries to turn the conversation elsewhere, focusing rather on Jongin and Kyungsoo so Baekhyun can be left alone. He would put a protective arm around Baekhyun's waist to let him know that he's here, but Chanyeol isn't sure if he can do that. After all, Baekhyun said he wasn't ready. 

It is really surprising when he feels a light touch on his hand after maybe three minutes of everyone secretly-but-not-so-secretly throwing glances at them, and when Chanyeol looks down, he can see Baekhyun's slender pinky finger touching his just the slightest bit. When he glances at Baekhyun from under his eyelashes, the man is biting at his lower lip nervously and looks like he is afraid to make eye-contact with Chanyeol. And so, Chanyeol understands immediately and intertwines his pinky with Baekhyun's as he joins whatever conversation is currently going on, giving Baekhyun all the strength the brunet needs at the moment with just that small touch of their fingers. We're work it all out, Chanyeol thinks with a new found hope.  

Of course it's awkward at first. Both of them feel the change and are trying to ignore it, acting like everything's alright. However, they know that it's far from alright. They can't just go back to how they were before the night on New Years, it's just impossible. It's understandable that they can't just forget about it and carry on like it never happened.

But still, the sometimes tense and awkward atmosphere doesn't stop them from seeing each other almost every day, whenever they have time. They do the usual things like watching movies until noon, talking about random cheesy dramas they see on television, going out and just walking through busy streets of Seoul while talking about their day with a warm coffee or chocolate in their hands. They do the exact same things, but it feels different now. Chanyeol doesn't know if it's better or worse, honestly.

Sometimes, when they hold eye-contact for way too long, they are too close to each other or simply touch accidentally, they both stiffen and the air between them is tense, even if it's just for a few short seconds. It feels suffocating. However, then Chanyeol remembers that Baekhyun feels the same as him and just because the brunet shies away from the touch it doesn't mean that he doesn't love Chanyeol, which is so comforting in some way that Chanyeol soon forgets about the awkwardness. What's even better is that there are times when Baekhyun doesn't shy away, letting Chanyeol's touch linger.

After some time, Chanyeol brings up an idea which involves Baekhyun visiting a psychologist, saying that it's for his own good and that it can help him. Baekhyun refuses right away, telling Chanyeol that he doesn't need it and also doesn't have spare money to waste on stupid things like that, to which Chanyeol offers to pay for it. It takes another three days to make Baekhyun accept his offer, since the brunet hates accepting money from others, no matter who it is. Chanyeol is glad that he managed to persuade Baekhyun in the end. 

It takes three weeks, tons of accidental touches and one therapy session for Baekhyun to nervously take a hold of Chanyeol's hand one evening when they are watching the newest episode of Knowing Brothers, fingers trembling slightly. Chanyeol's breath hitches as he looks down at their hands, and after a few seconds he turns his head to Baekhyun in surprise, searching for answers. This feels like such a big step and the fact that Baekhyun is initiating the hand holding is making Chanyeol's heart pound extremely fast. 

When he looks at Baekhyun, the brunet's eyes are still glued to their intertwined fingers like it's such an amazing sight, Knowing Brothers completely forgotten momentarily. However, feeling Chanyeol's gaze boring holes in him, he averts his eyes from their hands and meets Chanyeol's brown orbs that are staring at him intensely. Chanyeol waits for Baekhyun to say something, but instead of talking, Baekhyun smiles at him softly and suddenly no words are needed. This small smile speaks volumes.

Chanyeol grins, the feeling of enormous happiness flowing through his body, and he squeezes the smaller hand in his, rubbing the smooth skin with his thumb. He continues watching the show on the television, but his mind is completely elsewhere, lost in his thoughts as Baekhyun squeezes Chanyeol's hand back. He could die at this moment and he wouldn't regret it at all. 

After Baekhyun initiated the hand holding one week ago, Chanyeol couldn't help himself but pay some extra attention to the brunet's deity hands. Of course he had noticed a long time ago that Baekhyun has quite beautiful and sort of feminine hands, but the only thing he could do was admire these hands from afar at that time. Now though, it's like Baekhyun gave him some kind of green light and Chanyeol doesn't wait a second before his admiration from afar changes into skin to skin contact where Chanyeol touches those beautiful hands, caressing the smooth skin.

Baekhyun usually gets embarrassed, telling him that it's weird and that he should stop, but Chanyeol doesn't listen, instead bringing the brunet's hands up to his mouth and kissing every millimeter of pretty slender fingers until his lips touch the texture of Baekhyun's long, well-kept fingernails. As if Baekhyun's face already wasn't flushing enough at that point, Chanyeol would tell him how cute the mole on his thumb is, giving it one more kiss for good measure before he finally lets go of Baekhyun's hand, leaving the brunet a blushing mess. 

As time passes, there is no awkwardness between them anymore. Chanyeol knows where his boundaries most likely are, and he doesn't push Baekhyun into anything, leaving the brunet in charge of things. When Baekhyun initiates something, Chanyeol doesn't even think before giving in, but he is always kinda of afraid to initiate something by himself. After all, Baekhyun can react badly and it would only bring the tense atmosphere from earlier back. Chanyeol doesn't want that. 

That's why, even though he wants kiss the out of Baekhyun every time he looks at the man, Chanyeol holds himself back. He promised Baekhyun to wait, and he's not going to break his promise. He knows that when Baekhyun gets rid of his negative thinking and self-hatred, they will finally get together, and that's the only reason Chanyeol needs in order to be patient and not jump Baekhyun. He will wait, he can do that. 

On the top of that, Baekhyun is being more and more affectionate every day. It's just small extra touches here and there, but Chanyeol does notice it, mostly because after what happened on New Years, Baekhyun was really distancing himself from Chanyeol. Chanyeol can clearly remember the hugs they shared, standing in each others' embrace for minutes, but now it isn't like that. They haven't hugged like that for so long, and Chanyeol misses it so much.

When they were lying in bed, Baekhyun would usually rest his head on his shoulder, but now it's like Baekhyun is afraid to do that. Chanyeol gets why, coming to understand Baekhyun's strange way of thinking, but it still doesn't stop him from desperately craving the affectionate touches from Baekhyun. And that's why, every time Chanyeol craves Baekhyun's touch, he takes the smaller's pretty hand and just holds it in his own, the feeling of Baekhyun's soft skin and slender fingers keeping him satisfied and grounded.  

The hand holding becomes a casual thing because of how often Chanyeol intertwines their fingers when they are in private, and maybe that's the reason why his skin feels so cold when they are in public - Chanyeol can't just reach out and grab a hold of Baekhyun's hand when they are outside, since people can see. Chanyeol feels like a horrible person for not showing Baekhyun as much attention outside as when they are out of the public eye, but Baekhyun tells him it's alright and that he understands. It's not alright at all, Chanyeol thinks, but lets it go, for now.  

Chanyeol and Baekhyun don't see much of each other during the beginning of February, since Chanyeol has tons of work to do.

After there was a big conflict between the advertising company Luhan's management had chosen for the comeback, Luhan's agency decided to ditch that company and instead hired Chanyeol's. However, the comeback had to be pushed a few months further into future until the problem is completely solved and the previous advertising company is out of the picture for good. Luhan's fans were not happy about it at all though and since Chanyeol wanted to make a good name for the company, he promised to work extra hard to get all of the work done as soon as possible. 

That's why, Chanyeol focuses on work like probably never before, although he knows that even if everything goes according to plan, the earliest date for Luhan's comeback will be at the end of March.  

They spend the Valentine's Day together as well, baking their own cake at Chanyeol's house because Chanyeol's parents went to celebrate to Jeju, and it's an amazing opportunity to invite Baekhyun over. It's kinda strange since Chanyeol's parents don't even look like they really like each other, but Chanyeol guesses that they don't want to dirty their reputation and hear rumors about them not being functional or something. Whatever the reason is, Chanyeol is glad that they are away because he can finally have Baekhyun over.

People would most likely bet that they are gonna screw it up and maybe even put the kitchen on fire, but contrary to what their friends think, their baking skills aren't that bad. Baekhyun has learnt a lot from Kyungsoo and Chanyeol watched a few baking shows on television as well, so it's all good. Well, not good, but it's enough for them not to mess up horribly. 

After the cake is baked, they both take a rather large piece of it and decide to watch some sappy movies so they can talk about it afterwards. It's wouldn't seem like the most romantic evening for most people, but for Chanyeol it is all he could ask for, since Baekhyun is here with him. Baekhyun's presence is all he needs.

Today, Baekhyun even looks swayed by the whole atmosphere of Valentines - maybe not only that but also by the wine he's drunk - and after eating too much cake and letting out a string of curses to demonstrate how much his stomach hurts, he moves closer to Chanyeol, leaning against the taller's side with a heavy sigh. Baekhyun's head falls into the crook of Chanyeol's neck and one of his arms is thrown over Chanyeol's stomach lazily, making Chanyeol lose the ability to breath for a second. It's been weeks since Baekhyun's done that, and while Chanyeol was hopeful enough to expect some kind affectionate gestures today, he's still surprised by-

"Thank you... not only for today, but for everything," Baekhyun whispers, and in the next second Chanyeol feels soft lips touching his cheek, leaving a wet spot there. The kiss ends as soon as it started and Chanyeol is just gaping in complete shock, eyes so wide that they could fall out of his eye holes. Now that was unexpected. After the pack is left on the CEO's cheek, Baekhyun returns to his previous position with his head in the crook of Chanyeol's neck and breathes out as he relaxes. Then, he whispers, "I love you," in such a quiet voice that Chanyeol would have overheard it if he wasn't careful enough. 

"M-Me too," Chanyeol stutters out immediately. Collecting himself, he wraps his arms around Baekhyun's smaller body, one hand tangled in Baekhyun's hair. Taking a deep breath, Chanyeol repeats, this time with all seriousness and without stuttering. "I love you, too." 

Chanyeol always kind of hated his house. It was unnecessarily big and gave off a really cold vibe with all this modern equipment, white walls and family paintings where none of the three members were smiling. But now, lying on the couch with Baekhyun's head resting on his shoulder and his smaller body pressed against Chanyeol's side, the CEO finally feels what's it like to be truly at home. 

Of course, not everything is always going smoothly. 

Sometimes, Baekhyun has one of his moods and starts pushing Chanyeol away, telling him that Chanyeol should just leave him and find someone better because Baekhyun is not worth his love at all. One of his moods comes now.

"I'm a horrible person Chanyeol, I'll hurt you. I'm hurting you now. That's all I've been doing," Baekhyun mumbles, literally pushing Chanyeol away and keeping distance between them as if Baekhyun had some kind of virus and Chanyeol could catch it if he moved closer. When Chanyeol tries to approach him, Baekhyun takes a step back right away, looking at the ground and avoiding Chanyeol's eyes.

"There is nobody better," Chanyeol says and attempts to get to Baekhyun again, this time successfully, and he grabs Baekhyun's wrist gently, holding him in place. "I only love you. You are not getting rid of me that easily," he continues, trying to catch Baekhyun's eyes until the brunet finally looks at him, a spark of fight clear in his eyes. Is he really that fired up to argue with Chanyeol about not being good enough? After all this time? "Do you hear me?" Chanyeol whispers, rubbing calming circles in the brunet's wrist. "I only love you."

"You are so stupid," Baekhyun shakes his head, attempting to free his wrist from Chanyeol's hold again. Chanyeol doesn't let him, instead violating Baekhyun's personal space even more, getting so close the smaller has to crane his neck to look at him. "How can you like me?" he asks in the end when he sees that Chanyeol is not letting him go anytime soon.

"I more than like you, idiot," Chanyeol chuckles and when after a few seconds the brunet relaxes in his hold, Chanyeol uncurls his fingers from Baekhyun's wrist, wrapping his arms around Baekhyun's body instead. When Baekhyun starts stirring and tries to move away, it's clear that there is still some fight left in him, so Chanyeol tightens the hug as if to tell Baekhyun that there is no way Chanyeol is letting him go, from his hold or from his life. 

It takes another thirty seconds before Baekhyun fully relaxes and wraps his arms around Chanyeol as well, burying his head in the taller man's chest as always and breathing in Chanyeol's scent to calm himself down.

"You are so perfect Baekhyun. I wish you could see it too," Chanyeol says in the quietness of the room and starts rubbing Baekhyun's neck comfortingly, his touch gentle and loving. He holds Baekhyun as if the man was going to break soon, whispering all kinds of compliments into Baekhyun's ear, also adding silly comments until he hears Baekhyun laughing quietly. The sound of Baekhyun's muffled laughter is the sign that Baekhyun is back again, and Chanyeol is more than relieved.

"I wish so too," Baekhyun whispers after a while.

That night, Baekhyun asks Chanyeol to sleepover. Chanyeol calls his mother to let her know that he's not coming home today, since if he called his father, the man would probably flip tables. He hates Baekhyun, even though he has never seen him, simply because Baekhyun is ruining his image. It's extremely stupid of him to say these things just because Baekhyun's family isn't rich and powerful, but Chanyeol ignores it and spends time with Baekhyun anyway. However, he never tells his father to stop saying shameful things about Baekhyun, since he's still afraid of his father in a way. 

After talking to his mother and getting her approval after five minutes of persuading her - she also isn't very keen on him sleeping over at Baekhyun's but she takes it better than Chanyeol's father - Chanyeol walks over to the kitchen where Baekhyun is already making dinner. Chanyeol said that it's okay and that they can just order something since Baekhyun looked truly tired, but the brunet said that he wants to show off his cooking skills and when Baekhyun sets himself on something, there is no way Chanyeol can't argue with the man. 

"Your family must really hate me," Baekhyun says when he sees Chanyeol entering the room from the corners of his eyes, a humorless laugh accompanying his words. Chanyeol can tell that it's fake because the smile doesn't reach his eyes at all, and is sounds too dull. 

"It's not like that," Chanyeol tells him as he leans against the kitchen pult, watching Baekhyun doing magic consisting of putting spaghetti into the boiling water. Baekhyun has told him that Kyungsoo taught him how to make a really good bolognese spaghetti, and Chanyeol was lucky enough to taste Kyungsoo's cooking, so he is sure that their dinner will be more than delicious. Besides, Baekhyun always puts so much effort into cooking that it would be a sin not to eat the dish afterwards even if it wasn't that good.

"It's okay, I understand," Baekhyun gives Chanyeol a small smile, but Chanyeol sees how much sadness is underneath that understanding facade. For a moment, Chanyeol just stares at Baekhyun working on the bolognese sauce while the spaghetti is being cooked, his expression collected but Chanyeol knows that Baekhyun is just pretending. 

"Look, Baekhyun," Chanyeol takes a deep breath. "They don't hate you, okay? They don't even know you. My father has a problem with everything I do and my mom just wants me to marry already, and she thinks I'm just fooling around with you instead of looking for a wife, that's why she acts like that," Chanyeol reaches for Baekhyun's hand and his heart does a double flip when Baekhyun intertwines their fingers immediately, letting himself be distracted from cooking for a while. "Please don't take it personally."

Baekhyun finally turns to him, eyes meeting Chanyeol's. "I'm not taking it personally. I know they don't like me because I'm not your future wealthy wife, or just a wealthy person for that matter. I get it." 

"Don't say it like that," Chanyeol frowns, tugging at Baekhyun's hand in order to make Baekhyun move closer to him. 

"It's the truth, isn't it?" Baekhyun smiles again, this time giving Chanyeol a real smile, full of sadness and something else Chanyeol can't decipher. "But it's okay," the brunet continues and lets go of Chanyeol's hand after squeezing it slightly, his attention directed at the bolognese sauce again. "It really is."

"I'm sorry," Chanyeol blurts out and wants to regret it because again he said something embarrassing, but he doesn't. It's true. He is sorry. But not because Baekhyun's family isn't rich or powerful, he doesn't care about that. He's sorry because Baekhyun is right and that he will never be seen as equal in Chanyeol's parents' eyes. He is sorry that this world is so full of prejudice that Baekhyun has to feel like he's something less than others just because he isn't rich. 

To Chanyeol's surprise, Baekhyun laughs, and this time it does reach his eyes. "You're such a giant dork, really. Stop apologizing for something that isn't your fault," Baekhyun eyes him, showing his pearly whites as he grins. "And sit down or something, you're just distracting me." 

"Oh, am I?" Chanyeol chuckles and straightens up, towering over Baekhyun with a matching grin. "Is my mere presence so distracting?"

"It is," Baekhyun admits quietly and the next thing Chanyeol feels is a blow to his arm. It's not really strong, but enough to make Chanyeol let out a yelp. "I said go. Watch TV or something. There is not much you can do anyway." 

While Chanyeol keeps protesting that he just wants to watch Baekhyun cook, the brunet makes him leave the kitchen at one point, threatening Chanyeol with not having dinner if he keeps distracting him, and since that's a pretty strong argument, Chanyeol grumpily leaves the kitchen and flops himself on Baekhyun's bed. Instead of watching television he grabs his mobile from the bedside table and unlocks it, deciding to waste time with Instragram. 

It's okay for a few minutes, but then the scent of the bolognese sauce fills the air and Chanyeol's mouth water at the smell. It's been hours since he last ate and now he just can't wait until the food is done. Baekhyun is kind of a perfectionist so he won't let Chanyeol eat something that isn't ten-out-of-ten in his opinion, and the only thing Chanyeol can do is wait while he's stomach grumbles every ten seconds.

Thanks to higher powers though, the dinner is done in ten minutes and when Baekhyun calls his name to let him know that he can finally go back to kitchen and eat, Chanyeol swears he never got up from bed so fast. When he walks - runs - out of the bedroom, Baekhyun is already putting the plates with spaghetti on the table along with two glasses of mineral water. Chanyeol immediately sits down on one of the chairs, startling Baekhyun a little with how fast his movements are. 

"I hope you like it," Baekhyun says and sits down too, but before Baekhyun can even finish the sentence, Chanyeol has already dug into the food, filling his mouth with spaghetti hungrily. It's still extremely hot, but nonetheless delicious. Kyungsoo must have really spent some time teaching Baekhyun because this is too good to be true. 

"It's amazing," Chanyeol exclaims with a mouth full of food, throwing a quick glance at Baekhyun. The only problem is, it's not as quick as Chanyeol thought it would be because his eyes linger on Baekhyun's face much longer than intended. Chanyeol blames Baekhyun for it, since the way the brunet shyly looks down into his own plate after receiving a compliment with slightly flushed cheeks is a sight worth everything, and Chanyeol feels too captivated to just looks away, completely forgetting how hungry he actually is. Baekhyun is just too cute. 

"I'm glad," Baekhyun meets his eyes for half a second then, and this short eye-contact is enough for a sudden rush of emotions going through Chanyeol's body, making his heart pound crazily. I love him so much, Chanyeol thinks out of blue when he realizes that Baekhyun has made all the effort to give Chanyeol a good home-cooked dinner instead of just ordering something quick.

"I love you so much," Chanyeol says out loud the next second, and when Baekhyun looks at him again, this time with a shock written all over his face and eyes wide, Chanyeol wants to die. He didn't mean to say it, not at all. It just somehow... left his mouth without Chanyeol's permission. This bad habit of blurting whatever comes to his mind is truly a curse. 

"I-I love you too," Baekhyun stutters quietly, bringing Chanyeol back to reality and away from the string of curses aimed at himself in his mind. "Eat. You must be hungry."

And so Chanyeol does, but only after shaking off the shock of hearing Baekhyun say I love you back to him. It's not the first time it happened, since Baekhyun tells it to him a lot, saying that he wants Chanyeol to know, and that if Baekhyun can't yet prove it to him with actions, the words are the only option left. While Chanyeol should be used to it, he isn't. Not in the slightest. Hearing Baekhyun saying it always takes him by surprise, as if Chanyeol still couldn't believe that Baekhyun loves him back. Every single time he hears Baekhyun say it he feels more alive.

After delicious dinner, it's already pretty late. Chanyeol can see that Baekhyun is tired and will fall asleep standing if he has to, that's why Chanyeol tells him to just go to bed while he washes the dishes. Baekhyun, of course, protests and argues with you are a guest, you shouldn't be doing this but Chanyeol this time actually wins the argument and Baekhyun leaves the room sulking, looking very similar to Chanyeol after he was thrown out of the kitchen a few minutes ago. 

Chanyeol quickly washes the dishes and decides to take a shower before going to sleep, not because he is sweaty or smells bad, but because he is just really in a mood for a quick hot shower. Putting the plates, forks and glasses back into their places, Chanyeol walks into the bedroom and fishes a towel out of Baekhyun's wardrobe, heading for the bathroom with one glance at the brunet who is sprawled on the bed, playing the same stupid game again if the sounds that he hears are anything to go by. 

Disappearing behind the bathroom door, Chanyeol just realizes how domestic this is. From Baekhyun cooking for him, to Chanyeol washing the dishes and knowing where everything goes, topping the whole situation off with Chanyeol just using Baekhyun's shower without saying anything. But Chanyeol kind of... likes it. The way things are in their relationship are by far not perfect, but Chanyeol is still extremely happy about just being able to spend time with Baekhyun as the brunet is slowly but surely learning how to love himself and see himself the way Chanyeol sees him, even if it's just a little. 

Staying true to his worth, Chanyeol really does take just a quick shower, noting how even his shower gel is in Baekhyun's apartment. He doesn't even remember how it got here, if Baekhyun bought it or if Chanyeol just casually brought his shower gel here. The toothbrush that belongs to Chanyeol is here too, and while looking at it Chanyeol wonders when was the first time he slept over and took his extra toothbrush from home. It must have been kinda of long time ago because the toothbrush already looks pretty used.

After brushing his teeth he finally leaves the bathroom, the cold air hitting him right as he opens the door. Chanyeol wants to go back to the nice and warm shower, but he is getting too tired with every passing second, and he guesses that Baekhyun's bed and blankets are as good of an option as the steamy shower. Speaking of Baekhyun, it seems that the man has already fallen asleep, and to make Baekhyun's slumber more comfortable, Chanyeol switches off the lights. He doesn't see much in the dark, but he wants Baekhyun to rest and have a peaceful sleep, so sacrifices have to be made.

Chanyeol pulls out his boxers - which are in Baekhyun's drawer since the last time Chanyeol slept here - and puts them off, almost falling as he loses his balance. He usually sleeps only in boxers, but he doesn't want to make Baekhyun uncomfortable in any way, so Chanyeol also puts on an oversized shirt that Baekhyun had stolen from Chanyeol some time ago, saying that he likes it too much to give it back to Chanyeol after the CEO kindly lent it to him at that time.

When he's all dressed and ready for sleep, he quietly walks over to Baekhyun's small bed, slowly slipping under the covers and letting out a content sigh as the blanket covers his body from the -biting cold. Since Baekhyun's bed isn't by any means big and spacious, Chanyeol has to move closer to the brunet, the taller's chest even being in contact with Baekhyun's back.  Hearing Baekhyun's even breathing and seeing his body relaxed, chest heaving with every intake of breath, Chanyeol has the biggest urge to just wrap his arms around the smaller man lying on the bed with him. 

But he can't do that. Sleeping in each others' embrace is a boundary Chanyeol isn't sure he can cross. 

On the other side, Chanyeol is almost falling off the bed and throwing an arm around Baekhyun would might save him from falling. Plus, Baekhyun is asleep he wouldn't even know about it.

In Chanyeol's head it kind of sounds as if he was taking advantage of a sleeping person with these arguments, but the voice warning him that he truly is going to fall if he keeps lying like that is unable to ignore. And so, after maybe five minutes of thinking, Chanyeol finds the courage to slowly put his right arm around Baekhyun's waist. 

Chanyeol's fingertips firstly brush against Baekhyun's side, gently moving and tasting waters. If Baekhyun was to wake up now, this would look like Chanyeol is truly ready to take some kind of ual advantage of the brunet, and as much as he would like to see Baekhyun writhing in his hold because of pleasure, Chanyeol would never do such thing as molesting someone during their sleep.

For a few moments, Chanyeol just rests his large palm on Baekhyun's side, already enjoying the warmth of the brunet's body. He is nervous and scared that Baekhyun will wake up, since Baekhyun is a light sleeper, but judging by the even heaving and falling of his chest, Chanyeol guesses that Baekhyun is still asleep, at least for now. 

He moves his hand further, his palm feeling Baekhyun's stomach and fingers tracing Baekhyun's abs. Chanyeol remembers hearing from Baekhyun that the man stopped going to gym some time ago, but he sometimes workouts to keep his body at least a little bit firm so the hours spent in gym won't go to waste. In Chanyeol's opinion Baekhyun is doing a very good job at keeping his body fit. 

His arm is now loosely thrown over Baekhyun, and when Chanyeol moves just the tiniest bit closer, relaxing because it seems that Baekhyun is going to wake up, the smaller man stirs slightly and Chanyeol curses the higher powers because god, is it so hard to let me enjoy this position for more than one second?  Chanyeol is already retracting his arm so he won't be caught, but is stopped almost immediately by Baekhyun's hand being placed on top of Chanyeol's larger one. 

Chanyeol is frozen when he feels slender fingers circling his wrist as Baekhyun pulls at his hand until it's back on Baekhyun's stomach, exactly where it was before Chanyeol started pulling away a second ago. "Baek-"

"Shhh," is Baekhyun's response as he places his hand on the top of Chanyeol's again and relaxes under the touch. "Goodnight."

Chanyeol takes it as a green light and moves closer to Baekhyun, spooning the smaller male and tightening his hold on the brunet. He buries his nose in Baekhyun's soft hair, ignoring how it tingles and instead inhaling the sweet scent. The warmth radiating from Baekhyun's body is making him feel warmer than thousands blankets possibly could, and he squeezes Baekhyun even more as if he was afraid that Baekhyun would disappear. 

"Goodnight," Chanyeol whispers into Baekhyun's hair, finally being able to relax completely. Not only that he's holding Baekhyun like this while falling asleep, the brunet is also holding his hand tightly, letting Chanyeol know that the CEO isn't the only one who needs to be close to the other today. 

They fall asleep like that, first time holding each other so intimately and closely. There are no words needed, actions speaking loud and making everything clear. 

I love you, says Baekhyun as he squeezes Chanyeol's hand in his and lets himself be embraced.

I love you, says Chanyeol as he kisses the back of Baekhyun's head before making himself comfortable and lets himself be pulled into the world of dreams. 

"How's it going with Chanyeol?" comes the question from Kyungsoo during their break at work. Baekhyun chokes on his food and starts couching, not expecting the question that was thrown at him out of blue. Until now, they were talking about something entirely different, so it's understandable that Baekhyun is pretty shocked when Kyungsoo just blurts out the question while a few seconds ago they had a conversation about a rude customer Baekhyun had to serve today. 

"Fine, I guess," Baekhyun says after he's okay again, taking another gulp of water and putting the glass down afterwards. To describe the situation with Chanyeol with fine is really bad, since Baekhyun thinks it's anything but fine. 

"I heard from Jongdae that he's really understanding," Kyungsoo continues, taking another mouthful of his food. They don't have a long break after all, so they have to be quick with eating their lunch. 

"He is," and that's kind of the problem here. Chanyeol is more than understanding. He's respecting the space Baekhyun needs even though these days they are literally living in each others' embrace when they are out of the public eye, cuddled up together on the bed or on the couch. However, Chanyeol hardly initiates anything himself, always waiting for Baekhyun to give him some kind of unspoken permission, which Baekhyun always gives.

It's been three months since they started this... thing where Baekhyun is trying to come to terms and stop hating himself while Chanyeol waits for him. Baekhyun is even going to therapy because Chanyeol insisted - and paid, which Baekhyun doesn't like at all - and truth be told, it's helping, even if not that much. His therapist is always telling him to look into the eyes of his loved one when they are together because then he can see how much Chanyeol adores him, and maybe learn to see himself the way Chanyeol sees him. Baekhyun is doing this every time him and Chanyeol are together, and honestly, it really does help. 

Chanyeol is looking at him with so much love that Baekhyun feels overwhelmed. He has never expected someone to look at him the way Chanyeol looks at him. 

Baekhyun just wants to finally give Chanyeol what he deserves for being so kind and understanding. He wants to give Chanyeol himself with everything that comes with it, and slowly, Baekhyun is starting to feel ready. After all, it's been three ing months, it would be really bad if Baekhyun didn't feel at least a bit ready after such a long time. 

"That's good then," Kyungsoo mutters, smiling slightly at Baekhyun. It's clear from his smile that he is happy for his friend. "By the way, I heard that Sehun's crush is not a crush anymore."

Baekhyun laughs at that. "Of course it's not," he says, eating another spoon of his soup. His stomach hurts today and he doesn't feel like eating a big dish, but he still needs to eat, so soup it is. "Sehun and Luhan might soon be a thing, from what I've heard."

It's true. Sehun is talking about Luhan non-stop when they hangout from time to time, and Baekhyun loves listening to his friend. Sehun is literally head over heels for Luhan and everything the singer does is worth remembering and then talking about it seems, but Baekhyun really doesn't mind. Also, he hasn't met Luhan yet and he doesn't think that he will so soon even though Sehun has insisted - after getting Luhan's agreement - that they meet, given that the singer is too busy with his comeback. While Baekhyun would like to meet Luhan, since not only Sehun had a crush on him at one time, it's enough for Baekhyun to just hear about the famous singer from Sehun. 

And from what he has heard from Sehun, his younger friend isn't the only one having feelings involved. 

"You think so?" Kyungsoo questions. "He's an idol, he can't just go around and date people. It would be a big scandal and his management wouldn't like that at all. And is if it wasn't enough, Luhan's from China. He's coming back to China after he's done with this comeback, too."

That's also true. Sehun mentioned that Luhan is going back to China after everything is done, and on the top of that, Luhan's an idol. If they really do end up together, they will have to hide themselves thoroughly. Involving Luhan in a scandal that could possibly damage the singer's popularity if they were seen is surely not something Sehun would like to do. 

"They will figure it out, I'm sure," Baekhyun says confidently, but deep down he is afraid for his friend's heart. He doesn't want Sehun hurt, but this doesn't look like an easy situation. "Anyway, when we are already talking about it, Jongdae wants to confess to Minseok."

"Oh, really?" Kyungsoo asks in surprise. Both of them know that for the longest time, Jongdae insisted that he doesn't like Minseok in that way, but nobody believed him from the start. It was just about the time for Jongdae to finally come to terms with his feelings and starts deciding what to do about it next. "Aren't his parents extremely against it?"

"They are," Baekhyun nods in agreement. Jongdae's parents always took good care of Jongdae, giving their son everything he needed and making sure that his future is perfect, but they were really strict and totally not understanding about everything else. Jongdae's emotions were not really important to them and their prejudice made them think that Jongdae should never even look at someone who is from a different social class as them. When Jongdae befriended Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, Sehun and Jongin, his parents were furious, even going as far as forbidding Jongdae to talk to them ever again at some point. 

It took Jongdae around four months to make them understand that he is not going to stop talking to any of his new friends, and in the end, his parents allowed Jongdae to hang out with them. It was really hard to reach the point where Jongdae is free to talk with either Sehun, Baekhyun, Jongin or Kyungsoo with just getting nasty glances from his parents, and Baekhyun wonders what will happen if Jongdae actually starts dating someone from a lower class. Jongdae's parents won't care if Minseok is nice, well-mannered, caring, hard-working or funny. They will just see his lack of money and power. 

However, Jongdae isn't scared of them anymore. Baekhyun knows that before Jongdae really didn't want to anger them in any way and that's why he put some distance between himself and Minseok, but Baekhyun thinks that after all these months of crushing on Minseok, Jongade isn't going to give up on the receptionist. Baekhyun can already see him standing up to his strict parents.

"Minseok likes him too, and I don't care if it sounds cheesy, but I'm sure they will fight it all together," Baekhyun says.

"Sounds cheesy, indeed."

"Hey!" Baekhyun nudges him with a pout and frown, making Kyungsoo chuckle. Baekhyun was never a person with such romantic thinking, but since Chanyeol appeared, Baekhyun changed a lot. 

"We are gossiping like grannies as if we had nothing better to do," Kyungsoo mumbles before he puts another big piece of his food into his mouth, making Baekhyun laugh. It's true. They've been literally spending their break with talking about his friends getting into relationships and about a rude customer from before until now. But Baekhyun doesn't feel like it's something bad to talk about these things once in a while.

"Let's continue then," Baekhyun says. The mood is good now and Baekhyun is afraid that he will up it with his next question, but he can't help himself. "How are things with you and Jongin?"

When Kyungsoo is silent for a while and even stopped eating the moment the question left Baekhyun's mouth, the brunet is ready to take it back and apologize for asking, but then Kyungsoo eventually answers. "I don't know," it's a simple and rather vague answer, but Baekhyun can see how much effort it takes for Kyungsoo to even say it. After all, things between them were always perfect, them being the married couple and couple goals, as their friends like to call them. Baekhyun is sure that it's not easy to say that it's different now. 

Kyungsoo doesn't look like he wants to talk about it and Baekhyun is already thinking about a change of topic, but Kyungsoo surprises him when he actually starts talking about the matter with a quiet voice. "We argue a lot... We never argued, not really," Kyungsoo chuckles humorlessly, and Baekhyun can only agree. He has never heard about them having a real fight, only petty little arguments that were forgotten in ten minutes. "He's almost never at home and- You know, I talked about it with him, and I thought that it will help, but it didn't at all. I know that the work's hard and that he wants to give it his best, but is it really that selfish of me to ask him to come home earlier at least once a week because I miss him so much?"

"I'm sure Jongin is trying-"

"Is he, though?" Kyungsoo cuts him of, his voice not friendly at all. Baekhyun is left speechless because he would never, never think that the time when Kyungsoo questions Jongin comes. "One time when Jongin promised that he'll come home sooner, he went to some party instead. When he came home he was stinking of alcohol and woman's parfume."

Baekhyun doesn't know what to say for a second. This doesn't seem like something Jongin would do at all. He knows his best friend very well and there is no way Jongin would ever put someone before Kyungsoo. "He would never cheat on you. He loves you," Baekhyun says, but his voice is shaking a little. He is sure that what he has said is true, but he is also scared of his fantasies about Jongin and Kyungsoo being the perfect couple disappearing. 

In the past, when Baekhyun thought about love, he always pictured Jongin and Kyungsoo. They were the epitome of relationship goals and love for him, and Baekhyun doesn't want this to change. Jongin and Kyungsoo were always so happy and in love, the world wouldn't ever be the same without them being in it together.

"I know he wouldn't and I don't doubt him, I'm just... jealous, I guess?" Baekhyun stares at the cook, and looking into those big eyes, Baekhyun can tell that Kyungsoo is telling the truth right now, baring himself to Baekhyun. "Up until now, I had his full attention and I'm simply not used to... this. I know that it's bad of me to say it like that, and you must think of me badly right now-" Baekhyun doesn't, not at all. "-but I really miss having him all for myself. And just now, when he's almost never at home, has millions of new friends and people who will most likely try to jump him, I finally realize that I shouldn't have taken him for granted."

"I get it," Baekhyun says truthfully right away, surprising Kyungsoo with how quick his response is. "But Jongin really has his eyes only for you, I want you to know that," Baekhyun's tone is serious, not a hint of joking in his voice. However, he can't say that Jongin is not doing anything wrong and that his behavior is ten out of ten either. Baekhyun wants to be completely honest right now. "Jongin might be neglecting you now, but only because he wants to enjoy the new-found fame or whatever. I'm sorry to say it like that, but he's going to be like that for a while. When the comeback comes, it's probably going to be ever worse-"

"Don't even start with-"

"But I'm sure that he will see that fame isn't as important as you. He loves you, Kyungsoo, and while he's maybe doing crazy now, he would never cheat on you or even kiss someone other than you," Baekhyun doesn't let Kyungsoo speak because if he gets interrupted now, Baekhyun will most likely forget what was he going to say. "This is Jongin's dream - cameras, dancing on big stages, being seen. He's always dreamed about it, and now when his dream is finally being fulfilled, he's losing himself in it. I know that you're hurting and that it's a big change for you, but you have to trust him. See, even if he comes home late, he always comes home right? Jongin won't ever let you go, as creepy as it sounds."

The silence that stretched between them as Kyungsoo is letting the words sink in is quite long, and Baekhyun can see that Kyungsoo isn't taking what was said to him very good. Baekhyun is sure that he wouldn't react any good either if he was in Kyungsoo's shoes. "You can always call me if you're lonely," Baekhyun tries to brighten the mood. "I will gladly eat out your fridge and make a mess."

He's glad when Kyungsoo laughs a little, glancing at the brunet from the corners of his eyes as he jabs the chopsticks into his food. Then, Kyungsoo quietens down again, but there is a small smile on his lips telling Baekhyun that he succeeded in making the mood lighter. "I will.. call you, I mean. I really will," Kyungsoo says quietly after a while, and while Baekhyun is surprised that Kyungsoo actually accepts the offer, he is also happy that he will be able to be there for Kyungsoo in the hardest times. 

"Please do."

"I don't want to lose Jongin, Baekhyun," Kyungsoo whispers, as if afraid to voice his fears. "Not to a person, not to his new work, not to anything," he continues, biting his lower lip. It's the first time Baekhyun sees Kyungsoo like this. But while the man looks nervous, his voice is full of determination. "I will always support him and be happy for him. I'm-" Kyungsoo stops for a second, putting the last piece of chicken into his mouth before finishing his sentence along with his lunch. "I'm not letting him go either."

Looking at the mix of sadness, determination, longing and love in Kyungsoo's eyes, Baekhyun's mind immediately wanders to Chanyeol. Chanyeol had the same look in his eyes when he told Baekhyun that he isn't giving up on him that easily and that he's going to wait until Baekhyun is ready to be with him.

At this moment, Baekhyun realizes that if the look in Kyungsoo's and Chanyeol's eyes is the same, Chanyeol must really be in love with Baekhyun, the brunet being the only person in the giant's heart. With this realization, Baekhyun wonders if there is any reason to hate himself so much when he can just open up and lets himself be fully drown in Chanyeol's love. Not good enough? Yes, maybe Baekhyun thinks that he isn't good enough, but what truly matters is that Chanyeol thinks that is more than enough. If he wasn't good enough, Park Chanyeol wouldn't fall in love with him in the first place. There must be at least something great about him that made such a perfect man fall for him, right? 

Maybe with Chanyeol's help, he can understand what made Chanyeol fall in love with him. Maybe with Chanyeol's help, Baekhyun can finally see what's so great about him. Maybe he can finally see his own worth with Chanyeol by his side, the CEO showering him with love with every glance, word and touch. 

Baekhyun wanted to help Kyungsoo, but instead it was Kyungsoo who helped Baekhyun, making the brunet finally open his eyes.

Baekhyun's ready now.